Loving Oneself, All Of Oneself

A loving-kindness practice for those with some meditation experience, inviting us to gently turn towards the more difficult aspects of our experience with curiosity, towards healing and transformation. We begin with connecting with the stillness and spaciousness of the ground. We then come to the heart-centre, appreciating our practice and longing for liberation.

What happens when we bring awareness to our wish for wellness? What becomes possible? What happens when we turn towards more challenging emotions, with this same curiosity?

Transcript

Beginning with a few deep breaths just to support a dropping back into body and connection with the ground and a sense of the body being held in space. So with each in-breath, The body expanding, Filling the space we're in with each out-breath, Dropping down, Connecting with the earth, Feeling that contact where the body meets the ground and just tuning into any sensations here and allowing these sensations to open us to the qualities that the ground has to offer, Holding, Support, Stillness, Spaciousness. And as we allow ourselves to drop more fully here into the earth, We can just check if there's any places of tension, Contraction, Bracing in the body and without trying to force anything, Just inviting a softening and a releasing, Giving all that weight up to the ground, Putting down the burden of needing to brace ourselves here. And then on the next in-breath, The invitation is to drop the awareness into the heart center. Could place a hand here as well, Just to bring a sense of connection, Presence, Availability. Taking a few breaths here to just appreciate your own efforts, Whatever it is that brings you to practice, Even when it's hard. And your own acknowledgement of being a vulnerable, Embodied being that suffers and also longs for liberation, That wish for wellness, To be happy, Free from suffering, Just really allowing that in and allowing it to have its effect on us in this moment. May we fully awaken for ourselves and all beings. Here we're holding ourselves with as much kindness, As much tenderness, Friendliness as we can contact just now, Even if it's just a little. Whatever we can manage is enough for now. We bring loving kindness to ourselves. We can get curious here about what happens next, What sensations, Thoughts, Emotions follow on from dropping in this wish, Being present and available for it, Meeting all of what's emerging with awareness and curiosity. You notice yourself going into distraction or vagueness, Zoning out a bit or losing a sense of the meditation, Your intention. The invitation is just to notice that without needing to get into any tangles with it. I don't need to wage war on distraction and just notice that that's happened. Maybe even appreciate, Maybe there's a part of us that just needed to go somewhere else for a little while and then just gently reconnect with the intention of the practice, Being with ourselves in a friendly way. And just seeing what else supports coming back to presence. Maybe it's the ground, Maybe it's a few deep breaths. Maybe it's remembering space, Stretching infinitely in all directions or bringing in some touch hand on heart, Hand on belly or somewhere else. Maybe it's remembering something, A resource, Being in the sea or listening to music, Being with a friend, Anything that maybe warms you up a bit, Brings a smile to your face. Remembering our resources whenever we need them. Feel free to hang out in this stage of the practice for as long as you'd like. And there's also an invitation if there is anything difficult here just now, The emotions subtle or not so subtle that have the flavor of fear, Grief, Anger or shame or anything else. The invitation is just to see what it's like to get curious about what's here, What's actually happening right now. What are the sensations, Thoughts, Emotions that we attribute with this more challenging stronger emotion? Can we bring awareness and curiosity to that? And if there isn't anything like that currently present, But you'd like to work with it, You could remember a time recently where you were in one of those emotions and just see what it feels like to bring that memory into the meditation. It might evoke something that you can work with. So what's actually happening? And can we get curious about that? And it may be that you can only stay with the charge of this emotion for a short period of time. Keep using your resources here as much as you need to. Tonight you might just be able to let in about 2% of what's here and that's okay. Maybe five or maybe 10. What's doable? Which that could be helpful here is to imagine that you're giving the emotion a lot of space, Like a ball in a field, Just letting it have as much space as it needs to move in whatever way it needs to move. And here we can also get curious about how it is, Different qualities of the emotion as it's showing up, Contraction, Heat, Heaviness, Density, Numbing. Is it pleasant, Unpleasant, Neutral, Or maybe it's different things at different times? Maybe there's a pleasant relief in just being with it. How is it? And we can also get curious about how we are with it. So different parts that might be coming up in response to the emotion. Maybe we can see a little bit more clearly a habit to want to manage it in some way or get rid of it or indulge in it. Finally, We might get curious here about what else is possible. So beyond resisting what's here, Getting caught up in it unhelpfully, What would it be like to just let it be as it is within an open, Warm, Curious space? Just let this flow through us as it is. Even if we can only do that for a split second before returning to our resources, What else is possible? Here we can use the body to support this intention. So you might want to rest back a bit in your posture, You might even want to put the hands palm up in the lap, A gesture of receptivity, Openness. So we're resting here in whatever's flowing through us just now, Pleasant, Unpleasant, Neutral. Emotions, Just one piece of the ever-changing landscape of our hearts. Resting even a bit further back into all of what's coming and going in the six senses. So taking any focus off of the emotion you might have been working with there and just allowing awareness to know all of what's here, Sounds, Visual sensations, Smells, Tastes, Physical sensations on and in the body, And any thoughts and emotions floating through. Being with the fullness of here, A bit like resting on a beach, Watching an ever-changing ocean, Waves coming and going, Forming, Dissolving, Remembering that you're not alone in this experience. So all human beings also feel difficult emotions sometimes. This is one of the things that connects us deeply to each other. So we can bring all beings to mind and also appreciate their suffering and their potential for liberation, Wishing them well, May they be happy and free from suffering, And may they awaken, May we all wake up.

Reviews

Thank you for the gentleness and balance of this practice. Experienced while sitting in front of Mark Rothko’s “Untitled (Harvard Mural Sketch” (1962). After seeing fury, blood, and despair in the painting, I began to cry, and only then could I see what appeared to be faces hidden in the layers. Obscured, together. Marvelous, alive.

Wonderful, gentle direction and spaciousness. Thank you, this is a lovely meditation. I will return to it.