Deeper Listening Practice

Deeper listening is a communication skill that creates the possibility for greater understanding between people.
Simonette introduces the practice and invites you to choose a friend to practise with. It is through the experience of communicating with an open heart, curiosity and acceptance that we create the conditions for genuine connection.
One compassionate conversation at a time.

Transcript

Deeper listening. Deeper listening. Requires us to pause, To not expect to give advice, To take our time, To really deeply listen and to allow for that to be accepted, To be curious, And then to reflect back what we've heard the person share in terms of the emotional content and also the storyline if you like. So deeper listening. Is a practice, It's a skill that we can learn, It's a counselling skill. And I'd like you to think about. Who you might be able to practice this with because we do get into habits of communicating. Very easy to get into those habits. Not so easy to break those habits with people we've known for a long time. So it just depends on the quality of your relationship, Whether or not. . . You could let them know that you're going to practice this different way with deeper listening to what they have to share with you and what might be going on for them in their life. And that you too would like for them to be able to deeply listen and reflect back to you in the same way. So I'd like you to consider Will it be somebody a new friend or a family member or will you be practicing this with your intimate relationship? I'd like you just to think and consider now, Take your time to think, Who could I try this deeper listening with? And the skill I can share with you now. So one way that we can begin the practice of deeper listening with a friend is to sit quietly with them in a meditation, Open eye meditation. And so you might just look into each other's eyes, Have a bit of a smile or a laugh and take three deep breaths. And take three deep breaths together. And then take it in turns to share something that's going on for you, Something that's meaningful and important. And you're listening with curiosity to what they have to share. And in particular paying notice to the emotional content that they're sharing. And then when they've finished. And say, Okay, So what I've heard you say is, And reflect at that. If the emotion is very strong I would begin with that and I would say I've noticed that this is really important to you there is some passion behind what you're sharing with me or there is some sadness there so really try to identify what is the emotional tone and share that back with them first and then just reflect back what they have said to you without altering it or without adding your own little understandings. Share it back and notice what happens when you've done that. So did you get it right? Perhaps you might have added something and so they're the expert of what was being shared so they can repeat it again. And repeat it as many times as necessary until they feel that you have totally understood where they're at. And that's all you do. No advice giving. No changing it or judging it. Thanking them for that. And then, If they agree, You can have a go as well. This is a beautiful way. Of deepening your listening and understanding of your friend and for you to feel that you've been also really held and understood. And accepted for who you are in that moment and what you're sharing. Bye for now!