Helping others is also an important factor in building your resilience.
In recent research,
Researchers looked at what factors contribute to happiness.
Looked at factors such as money,
Safety,
Security,
Loving relationships.
Well yes,
These are all contributors.
So being able to develop your own capacity for empathy and kindness.
And you can do that with random acts of kindness.
For example,
What are some random acts of kindness that you could do for others?
You could go up to work,
Mate,
And ask them how are you.
And then make eye contact with them,
Giving them your fullest attention.
And ask them again,
How are you really?
And be interested and respond.
Altruism,
Generosity,
Random acts of kindness give you so much more than what you give to the other.
Remember,
Resilient people can be found in all walks of life.
Now what about managing those difficult people that you come across in your life?
And we all have them and sometimes we're also a difficult person for someone else.
So what to do when you're faced with difficult people?
How to be resilient in the face of that?
So I have an acronym that I'd like to share with you,
Which is EAT.
So when we're dealing with difficult people or dealing with a difficult situation,
The solution is to EAT.
And EAT stands for Expectations,
Attachment and Time.
So let me go through that in a little bit more detail for you.
So looking at your expectations.
What are your expectations about this person?
You ask yourself some questions.
Are they realistic?
Can I change this view?
Try to get underneath your expectations.
Where do they come from?
Where did you learn them?
Are they really true?
See if you can change your expectations to something that's more supportive and encouraging to you in this situation.
So you want to look at your expectations and see if in some way you can change your view.
And what about attachment?
So we get pretty attached to our idea of a certain person.
We get pretty attached to the fact that we're right in circumstances.
So when you're wanting to reduce this stress or this conflict that you're experiencing with the other,
You need to have a look at how strongly attached are you to being right?
Having your expectations met.
So can you let this go because it's going to be a lot easier for you if you can?
Can you be more accepting of the situation?
Even though it's not quite how you would like it to be,
Is there a way you can just accept it as it is?
And that's not to mean that you roll over and be a victim.
It's understanding that the other person also shares a worthwhile and important view.
Another suggestion that I have is to just look at how much time are you actually spending thinking,
Ruminating,
Contemplating this person or this situation?
And you're probably finding that it's taking up a lot of mental space.
You might even be waking up in the middle of the night and thinking of this person.
So you're spending a lot of time thinking about them.
And it's the quality of your thought,
Remember,
That affects the way you will feel and the happiness that you experience in your life.
So it's important that you take some time away from thinking of this person and thinking of more pleasant,
Supportive thoughts and experiences.
And this is where the practice of meditation or guided visualization can come in handy for you because you can start to focus on more pleasant and positive thoughts and images.
So even if to begin with you just give yourself 10 minutes where you're thinking about something more pleasant,
Immediately you'll start to feel a better response in your body and your well-being.
So there are many benefits to meditation.
There's meditation where you're training and building that muscle,
If you like,
Of attention and focus.
And this is a very important skill to be able to master in our mind because our mind is so easily distracted.
So meditation where we're focusing on the breath or focusing on a beautiful sound and bringing the attention completely to that one pointed focus.
Now this trains your mind to be able to give attention to what you want to give attention to,
That you actually do have choice in what you think and how you think.
So with the regular practice of meditation you're building this strength of will or the strength of attention.
And from there you can continue to build and create the type of life that you want to have for yourself or the orientation that you take to whatever is in your life at the moment.
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