Releasing Your Anger & Hurt With Mindfulness Meditation

Beneath feelings of anger lies a deep hurt, and with this meditation, you can more concretely sense this place of hurt inside you. You can take better care of this place inside your body that hurts by becoming aware of it. In this mindfulness meditation, we work on releasing anger by becoming aware of the feelings that lie underneath it.

Transcript

Hi there,

This is Shumaila.

In this meditation,

We will learn to understand the nature of our anger and develop skills to respond to anger as well as find healthy ways to communicate our anger effectively.

Anger and resentment are related to memories and unprocessed energy.

While our anger may be directed at a person or situation,

It is important to understand that persistent feelings of anger can cause damage to our health and wellbeing.

Anger is an emotion that may consume us completely,

Causing us to act in ways that are harmful or unproductive.

When anger arises,

The mind can fall victim to harsh thoughts,

Judgments,

And obsessions.

Today we will learn to take care of our anger as if it were a child within us that needs our tender care and healing.

We will use the practice of mindfulness to come to our attention.

By creating a space of non-judgmental and compassionate awareness to respond to our anger,

We will move towards transforming our anger into compassion and love.

In doing so,

We will build our resiliency to confront deep-seated wounds and childhood trauma within us,

And we will learn to be active in the deep-seated wounds and childhood trauma within us that water the seeds of anger within.

So every time we encounter a situation that makes us angry,

We become disconnected with our rational awareness and become more attached to those unattended parts within us that require healing.

If you are feeling angry right now,

This meditation will help you to take charge of your anger.

We will practice positive affirmations and mindfulness to help you to respond to your anger mindfully.

In the midst of feeling angry,

Practicing mindfulness is like baking potatoes on fire.

You can't eat potatoes until they are cooked.

Similarly,

You have to cook anger on the fire of mindfulness meditation practice for at least 10 to 15 minutes before you can have a direct and open conversation with your anger through journaling or silent talking to yourself.

Research indicates that mindfulness helps to reduce anxiety depression,

Pain,

And fatigue.

It improves the self-esteem and energy levels and also increases self-mastery and motivation by helping us to heal and relax.

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is observing our thoughts moment by moment,

Breath by breath,

Non-judgmentally.

For these reasons,

It's a wonderful tool for managing anger,

Healing resentment,

And setting the stage for forgiveness.

When you notice anger,

Frustration,

Or irritation arising in your body,

Allow your eyes to close.

Know that you are feeling anger.

Do not try to rid yourself of anger or talk yourself out of it or pretend that it is not there.

Breathe deeply into the abdomen to the count of five,

Hold to the count of five,

And release to the count of five.

Let's do this breathing practice together.

Inhaling to the count of five,

One,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five,

Hold,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five,

And rapid inhaling to the count of five.

Inhale to the count of five,

One,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five,

And rapid exhale,

Three,

Four,

Five.

Once again,

Inhale,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five,

Hold,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five,

And rapid exhale,

Three,

Four,

Five.

Breathe again and this time exhale very slowly to the count of five.

Feel the chest and stomach filled with air and exhale slowly.

When you exhale,

Try to really empty the lungs.

Breathe deeply for the first few minutes and bring to mind the situation that is causing anger.

Inhale,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five,

Hold,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five,

And slowly exhale,

Three,

Four,

Five.

Good work.

As you tune into the rising anger in the mind,

Allow yourself to feel what is happening in the body.

Inhale,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five,

And slowly exhale,

Three,

Four,

Five.

Notice the sensations that indicate anger.

You may feel tension in the shoulders,

Shallow breathing,

A pit in the stomach,

Or a number of other changes in the body.

Turn to each experience in the body with compassion and awareness.

Recognize the tension by noting mentally tension.

Now open your awareness and see what else is occurring in the body.

After 10 minutes of examining in the body,

Switch to awareness of the mind.

Ask yourself,

What is underneath my anger?

What is causing me to feel angry today?

There may be feelings of pain,

Betrayal,

Experiences of prejudices,

Feelings of being treated unfairly,

Or of being excluded or disrespected.

You may feel pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Pain,

Trauma that is triggered after speaking to a loved one.

If you cannot find something at first,

Patiently wait to see if anything comes up.

When you notice something underneath the anger,

Name it.

If you find that you are hurt,

Make a mental note,

I am hurt.

Respond with the phrase of compassion,

Such as,

My dear anger,

I see you,

I hear you,

I feel you,

I acknowledge your presence.

If you like,

Pause this meditation and take a break to journal how this makes you feel.

Write what you notice in the body,

What you found underneath the anger,

And how it felt to try to respond with compassion.

As you continue to experience anger,

You will find yourself able to see it with wisdom and patience.

Now repeat these affirmations.

I walk away from people and situations that do not serve me.

I walk away from people and situations that do not serve me.

I walk away from all the drama.

I walk away from all the drama.

I draw healthy boundaries.

I move towards people and situations where I am honored and appreciated and not merely tolerated.

I move towards people and situations where I am honored and appreciated and not merely tolerated.

You got this.

Remember this,

We are more than our anger and we are more than our sufferings.

Now let's move on towards understanding positive ways of expressing anger.

Sometimes it's easy to forget that anger can be a healthy emotion.

It can come from a place of wishing things to be better or improved,

Like being angry about the injustices around the world,

For example.

It could also come from a place where you want to be treated more fairly.

Expressing anger in healthy ways is useful because bottling up anger numbs your other feelings.

Because bottling up anger numbs your other feelings as well and it wears on your health.

Pretending that you are not angry is inauthentic and it also has a harmful effect on your health.

When it's bottled up inside,

Often it just gets hotter or more reactive.

So with that in mind,

Let's practice these techniques by bringing an attitude of non-judgmental awareness towards your anger that you can do anytime when you are feeling angry.

So to begin,

Bring your awareness to whatever is going on for you right now.

Give the weight of your body up to gravity.

Allow your weight to sink into the points of contact between your body and the floor,

The chair or the bed.

What sensations are there right now?

If you notice any tension or resistance towards painful or unpleasant sensations,

Gently turn towards them.

Accept them as best as you can by repeating the following affirmations with the palm of your hand close to your heart.

My dear anger,

I see you.

I acknowledge you.

I care about you.

Then say to yourself,

I know you are hurting from the pain and disappointment.

I'm taking good care of you.

If you begin to tense around the breath,

Then let go a little bit more with each out breath and soften into gravity.

Notice any thoughts as they arise and pass through the mind.

See if you can let them come and go without having to identify with their content.

Observe them as if there were clouds in the sky.

Notice any feelings and emotions as they arise.

Can you let these come and go?

Include everything within your awareness with a kindly perspective.

As we practice scanning our bodies and observing our thoughts non-judgmentally,

We find ways of embracing and tending to our anger.

This is an effective tool to look more deeply into the nature of our anger.

This may not be evident the first time you practice mindful awareness.

In the beginning,

You may not understand the nature of your anger,

But with continual mindfulness practice,

You will start noticing the trajectory of your anger and despair.

Your anger is your child and you are the parent.

Embrace your child and take care of it.

When a child cries for your help,

You don't say,

Go away,

I don't want you.

Similarly,

When you experience anger and other difficult emotions,

It is important that you don't push it away and reject it.

Rather,

You stop what you're doing and attend to your anger by following this mindfulness practice that makes you observe your emotions non-judgmentally.

Now repeat these affirmations.

I release my anger by embracing it and taking care of it.

I bring relief to my anger by moving towards positive feelings and emotions such as self-compassion,

Kindness and love.

I turn my anger into fuel for personal growth and transformation.

Now allow your awareness to gather around the experience of the breath deep in the body.

Drop your awareness inside the breath and feel the different sensations in the front,

Back and sides of the torso.

Can you feel your awareness within the flow and movement of the breath?

Use the breath to anchor your awareness in the present moment,

Breathing in the body,

Noticing each inhale and exhale again and again.

Each time you notice your mind has wandered,

Gently guide the mind back to the breath deep in the body.

Now gently expand your awareness to include the whole body.

Feel the weight and shape of the body as it sits,

Stands or lies.

If you have any pain or discomfort,

Make sure your awareness stays open.

Cultivate acceptance or acknowledgement for all of your experience of anger.

Now once again repeat this affirmation.

I turn my anger into fuel for personal growth and transformation.

I am not my anger.

I am not my suffering.

My anger and suffering are impermanent.

By caring for my anger and suffering,

I move towards calmer waters within me.

Now look at yourself in the mirror.

It is helpful to see yourself when you are angry.

Say this to yourself.

I will not let anger harm my inner beauty and character.

Now breathe in calmly and breathe out smiling and you will look relieved.

As we close this meditation practice,

Ask yourself these questions.

What did my anger teach me today?

Why do I get angry so easily?

Is it because my seed of anger is too strong or has been watered frequently?

In what ways have I allowed my anger to be watered often?

Thank you for your courage to do this exercise with me.

The more you practice this meditation,

The more skillful you will be to diffuse anger and turn it into healthy action and decision making for the benefit of yourself and others.

So to recap,

Sometimes it is easy to forget that anger can be a healthy emotion.

Expressing it in healthy ways is often useful.

So don't suppress your anger,

Rather care for it.

Accept your anger because when you can take care of it,

You can transform it into positive energy such as compassion and love.

When we embrace anger and take good care of it,

We obtain relief.

We can look deeply into it and receive insight.

One of the insights we gain today is when anger manifests in us,

We must recognize that it needs care.

Another insight that we received was that beneath anger there are other emotions such as hurt or fear.

And finally,

We learned that when the seed of anger has grown too big,

It is the root of our misery.

So repeat this affirmation.

Reaching my place of love is my refuge from anger.

You got this.

If you found this meditation useful to regulate your anger,

Move on now to the next meditation,

Ocean Mind,

That will help you to move towards a deeper feeling of tranquility and clarity.

Thank you and have a great day.

Reviews

A helpful and compassionate guided meditation.

Oh my it really helped me understand my anger and now I’m going to know what to do with it. Thank you.

Thank you, Shumaila,
Not only am I less angry now, then before the session, but I’m starting to perceive the process that you are guiding us into. Merci !

Loved this.

Excellent and helpful. Thank you.