6 Human Needs - 2: Uncertainty

The need for uncertainty, paradoxically vital alongside our desire for certainty, fuels our growth, creativity, and vitality. Embracing uncertainty in ourselves encourages exploration, learning, and the flexibility to adapt to life's inevitable changes. It sparks curiosity and innovation, pushing us beyond our comfort zones into new experiences.

In relationships, understanding and accepting uncertainty can enhance resilience, allowing couples to navigate challenges and changes together, and enriching the bond through shared adventures and discoveries. Recognizing the value of uncertainty cultivates a dynamic, evolving partnership, where both individuals are encouraged to grow and explore, both individually and together.

Transcript

Welcome everybody.

Hello.

Hello.

How's everybody doing this evening?

Good.

Not too shabby.

Not too shabby.

Interesting energy today.

Sit back and observe for a moment.

My name is Seth Monk.

Welcome to today's journey.

We are in the middle of the human needs series currently.

We've been talking about the six basic human needs and how these needs play into our lives and relate to choices we make and the behaviors we have.

The six human needs are certainty,

Uncertainty,

Significance,

Connection,

Growth,

And contribution.

As we can see even from the first two needs,

Which are certainty and uncertainty,

That they're kind of opposites.

So if you ever wonder why you feel conflicted inside,

If you ever wonder why you sometimes feel like a walking contradiction of a human being,

Or why you say one thing but do another thing or want something but do the opposite,

It's probably because you have needs that are pointing in different directions.

I was talking with somebody today who is a spiritual guide and a spiritual coach and an intuitive,

And she was like,

Yeah,

Like I was staying up all night last night,

I couldn't sleep because I got all these new crystals and all the crystals were trying to tell me their names.

I was up all night.

And I was like,

Okay,

And I was like,

What else is up?

And she's like,

Yeah,

It was my husband's birthday recently and I drank so much that I threw up.

And she's like,

Yeah,

And I just,

I feel so bad about myself and I feel so disappointed.

And I kind of looked at her and I said,

Well,

Parts of you are a spiritual practitioner who talks to her crystals at night.

Parts of you are an alcoholic that talks to your shot glasses at night.

Both of those parts are you.

It's not a contradiction.

It's not like you're one or the other.

You're both.

You have many parts.

You also have other parts that aren't represented within that dynamic.

So as we start to expand our understanding of identity,

We start to allow ourselves to be fully what we are.

And then we can make decisions from a different kind of place.

Like if you had a child and that child woke up in the morning,

They're like,

I want chocolate cake for breakfast.

You'd probably be like,

That's sweet and I love you and we're going to have something different for breakfast.

But we'll have chocolate cake later,

I promise.

So with kind of like a sweetness and an understanding,

But also like a redirection to the thing that's better for them.

We can also do that with ourselves.

If you say like,

I really want to drink,

But you know that you have a drinking problem.

Or as we like to call it,

A drinking opportunity.

You could maybe see that arise in yourself and say,

OK,

I understand how you want that.

Yeah,

Let's let's do some sparkling water.

It's OK.

You can drink later.

I promise,

You know,

Or maybe,

You know,

Those of you that are parents,

Maybe there were some mornings really.

Guess what?

We're having chocolate cake for breakfast today because also why not?

And also why not also letting that parts of you that wants to go and party and be wild.

Sometimes you like you get to go and be wild,

Go and drink as much as you want tonight.

That's OK.

And I still love you and you're still spiritual as fuck.

And it's OK.

It all fits.

So learning to allow all the different parts of ourselves and by understanding these needs,

It allows us to do that.

So we're exploring.

So last week we talked about certainty and the need of certainty,

The stability of this thing that we get to hold on to.

That feels stable and certainty lets us feel like safety or something there.

But also we have uncertainty.

Uncertainty is the newness,

Right?

It's the adventure.

It's the excitement.

It's it's trying a new food or a new place,

Going on a new trip,

Going out to new kind of an event,

Trying out new things.

And it's exciting to kind of see what do I like?

What's that going to be?

People also that live kind of boring,

Routine lives,

Boring for their own description.

They sometimes find their uncertainty through things like drinking to excess or through things like gambling.

You know,

What if somebody with a gambling addiction could be reframed as somebody with an uncertainty need that is playing out in an unhealthy way?

What if that same person as a gambling addiction,

If they realize that it's about uncertainty,

They could do something else.

They could go on a trip to a new place.

I just saw a website today where you send them all of your information and they book a trip for you and reserve the rooms and create all the experiences.

But you don't know where you're going until you like open up the thing.

And so there's couples that they'll go to the airport and they're like,

We don't know where we're going.

And they take the tickets out like,

Oh,

My God,

You know,

Like happy that they're not going to Detroit or something like that.

That was like what a lot of people on the site said,

They're like,

What do you think?

Send people to Detroit.

Right.

But the uncertainty and how that could be exciting and romantic.

Right.

And fun and like newness.

So recognizing within us that even within the needs that we have for stability and certainty and things we can hold on to the stable job,

The stable home,

The stable partner,

The dependable car.

There's also that thing in us that just craves to make new experiences,

That craves excitement,

That craves fun,

That craves just something,

Something else.

And to acknowledge that as a need that is valid and deserves to be there.

And it doesn't mean you need to get a divorce.

It doesn't mean you need to move.

It doesn't mean you need to,

You know,

Speed into your car brakes.

And if you want to,

You could do all those things if it's the right time.

But it might just mean that there's something in you that's just wanting excitement.

It wants to make new experiences.

And in this life,

There are so many ways to do that.

To be honest,

Life is uncertain more than it is certain.

I would say uncertainty is actually the framework of life.

It gets interesting,

Though,

When that uncertainty comes in ways that we didn't ask for.

Like when I try to park my car and someone says,

It's $6.

00.

I'm like,

But I parked here every day.

I'm like,

Do I get out?

I'm like,

What?

And I have to find a parking spot before class really fast,

Which happened to some of us today.

Right?

And so I parked back there at a one-hour spot,

And my meter is going to run out halfway through this class.

It's very exciting.

See if I have a ticket by the time I'm done here.

Uncertainty is a part of life.

Our plans continuously get uprooted.

Situations continuously happen the way that we didn't think they would.

There's that saying,

Man plans and God laughs.

We actually never really know if we're even going to make our next breath,

Let alone our next appointment.

So learning both to soften into uncertainty,

To learn how to pivot as quick as possible in all situations.

This is what my teacher in the monastery that I was living in told me.

He said,

Real freedom is in every moment.

It's being able to,

In every moment,

Pivot to whatever is necessary.

To be and to respond to every moment.

And not to be holding on to what you think this moment should be and then be getting all frustrated that it's not.

Blaming or tantruming.

In each moment being able to respond and shift to whatever the new situation is and completely letting go like that.

So I invite you all to get comfortable.

You can lay down if you'd like.

As we allow ourselves to get comfortable,

We close our eyes.

What if the fear of the dark was the fear of uncertainty?

The fear of being out of control?

What if we could bring the feeling of safety into the uncertainty?

By knowing that we will be able to handle whatever comes our way.

Taking a deep breath in through the nose down into the belly.

Filling up fully out through the mouth.

For all those times your plans were ruined,

Things didn't go your way,

Taking a deep breath in.

Filling up all those memories,

All those moments,

All those emotions and releasing them through your breath.

Breathing in understanding,

Compassion,

Love,

Kindness,

Softness to yourself.

Breathing out,

Releasing,

Relaxing.

Knowing that we are all learning.

With your eyes closed,

Feeling your body.

Your body here,

Your body on the earth,

On the ground.

This is your point of stability,

This is your anchor.

As you breathe,

Soften.

Start to let in the mystery of life.

As we expand past the physical body into the darkness.

We have to admit that we have no idea exactly what is going on here.

What this experience of life is.

Stretching our awareness beyond the walls of this room and space.

Beyond this studio,

Even up through the sky.

We recognize that we don't even really fully understand reality.

The principles of it,

The limitations,

The rules.

It almost seems like the rules are whatever we believe they are.

Connecting as far out into space as possible.

Until you reach the space beyond space.

This consciousness of ours existed long before this lifetime.

We will continue on beyond this physical form,

Beyond this story.

Connecting to that beyond birth and death.

Who is the one behind your eyes listening to your thoughts?

Who is feeling your feelings?

Who is the one floating in space?

Who is at the center of all of your experiences?

Can you turn inwards and experience only more space?

Where is this you?

Or is there only body feeling?

Sounds being heard.

Thoughts thinking.

Feelings being experienced.

But there is no body in the center experiencing them.

We are made of space and movement and consciousness.

A person being afraid of uncertainty is like water being afraid of getting wet.

Feeling space around you.

Space within you.

Allowing the two to merge together.

Breathing into that space.

Surrendering as much as possible.

Embracing the uncertainty.

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

What happens when you fully let go?

Taking a deep breath.

Slowly allowing your consciousness to return into your body through your breathing.

Gently return into this body.

Wiggling fingers and toes,

Stretching out arms and legs.

When you're ready,

Coming back completely,

Opening your eyes.

Reviews

Beautiful session and a wonderful healing meditation .
Much love and gratitude❤️🙏🕊️