Live Event - Confidence, Courage, Trusting Oneself

This is a recording from my live event on 13th August 2021 on the topic of Confidence, Courage and Trusting Oneself. I guide the group through a grounding meditation and then begin to discuss why courage and tapping into the heart is the way to overcome confidence and challenges in the mind.
Courage is a pure fire inside us showing itself in life itself, nothing the mind says can stop it. Yes, we feel fear, we hear it, but never stop what we want to do. Hear me talk more about this

Transcript

How are you feeling in this moment?

It's like taking a quick stock of,

Yeah,

I'm feeling this.

Maybe I wasn't even aware of this.

And share it in the chat,

A lot of people are so far.

Okay people are saying grateful,

There's a few sads in there,

There's anxious,

Distracted,

Tired,

I'm seeing a few tired.

Yeah.

Painful,

Scattered,

Frustrated.

There's a grateful in there as well.

Okay.

Hmm.

Thanks for sharing guys.

Low energy,

Okay.

Let's do a short meditation to start with.

Relaxed.

Yeah.

Alright guys,

Get yourself into a comfortable position.

Whatever that is for you.

We're not going to be here for too long.

But let's give ourselves this gift of the present moment.

So if you are able to,

You can close your eyes.

If you're walking,

Perhaps that's not a good idea.

You might walk into a lamp post.

If you are able to and you're not moving,

Close your eyes.

We've just joined,

We're just about to start a short practice.

So with your eyes closed,

Just start noticing your breath.

Just watching it.

See how your stomach feels with air.

And then it releases air.

Not trying to control it.

Not trying to do anything with it.

Just giving it some attention.

And now see if you can visualize the air coming from the outside into you.

And then from the inside of you back to the outside.

The breath comes in,

Travels through your body.

And it goes out,

Slightly warm,

Back to the outside.

See if you can notice your nostrils,

The cool air coming through.

And the warm air coming out.

If any thoughts appear,

Just smile.

Congratulate yourself for acknowledging them.

And then come back to your breath.

Breath comes in.

Breath goes out.

Energy comes in.

Tension releases.

Energy comes in.

Tension releases a little more.

Stay here for a few more moments.

Proud of yourself.

Giving yourself this practice.

And when you're ready,

You can start moving your fingers a little bit.

Toes.

And then gently open your eyes.

Okay,

How's everyone feeling after that?

Please share in the chat.

I'm just lighting a candle.

Alright,

So slow down.

Calm,

Happy,

Better.

You were calm before but now you're more calm.

Yeah,

I don't think you can get enough of this,

Right?

It just gets better and better.

More centered.

A bit better.

A bit more calm.

My voice is lovely,

Thank you.

Mellow but sad.

Helpful though.

Yeah,

Mellow.

Yeah.

A bit better is great.

Even if it's this sized amount,

A tiny bit.

Awesome guys.

Permission to rest,

Julia says.

Yes.

Great.

Permission,

Right?

Like,

Here's the thing.

I was in this meditation session yesterday.

And I'm a part of this teacher's group,

Let's call it.

And every Monday,

Somebody leads a session.

It was my turn a few weeks ago.

There were like a hundred people there.

And yesterday one of the guys was like,

Yeah,

Let's meditate.

And I was like,

I'm already good.

I'm already in my zen.

But then I realized as I started,

I went deeper.

I went deeper into my place.

So even if you think that,

Ah,

A few minutes is not going to do anything.

It does.

Sometimes when I'm working with someone,

I tell them,

Before you move into your next meeting or your next activity,

Here's a challenge.

Give yourself a 60 second break between things.

Not to look at your phone.

Not for anything.

Just to sit there.

Just to sit there.

60 minutes,

60 seconds.

It makes a difference.

Like you don't think it,

But it does.

So anyone who's here,

Who feels like their day is hectic,

That's my challenge to you.

The first challenge for today.

60 second break between things.

And see how that changes your state of mind.

So,

Thanks for the comments guys.

Let's dive into the session.

And by the way,

I've recorded this one.

I've made an audio recording.

Because people have been requesting this a lot from me.

So I've made an audio recording here and I'll probably upload that to my page.

So you can share it with anyone who's missed it,

I guess.

And I can do the same.

So,

This topic for today,

Hopefully you're feeling better,

But yeah,

This topic for today is confidence,

Courage and trusting yourself.

And I'm so excited about this topic.

Here's why.

If you've been to a session before,

You might have heard me tell a bit of my story.

But I like to say it anyway.

Just to give everyone a background.

Because there's all these teachers here.

But sometimes,

Like,

We forget that the teachers as well have a story.

Like,

How did they become a teacher?

Why?

Why would the person do this?

Why would a person do anything in life?

Only if they have a reason,

A cause,

A passion.

So I was challenged a lot by everything I'm about to talk about.

Like,

Confidence,

Like,

Courage.

I was owned by fears.

I was like in a trap of fears,

Let's just say.

And I didn't trust myself.

Not one bit.

I literally thought that everyone was above me.

And I was this guy who has to like go and reach up there and measure up to them.

It was like,

Okay,

This guy's cool.

I've got to be like him.

Or,

Yeah,

Look at those people.

They can do this stuff.

I can't.

I'm not good enough.

So I was always measuring myself against everyone.

And like,

Most of us do this to some extent.

Most of us.

And probably why everyone is here today is because we're,

You know,

You guys are looking for something on Insight Timer.

Something to help you improve.

Which is awesome.

So firstly,

I respect you for that.

Like,

For just being here on this app.

Because it's different to other things.

You've come here for a reason.

So,

You know,

Hats off to you first.

And,

Yeah,

This stuff with self-doubt,

It hides inside.

That's what it was for me anyway.

It was hidden inside.

So I had to do all of these things that I thought I needed to do.

Like,

Build a lot of muscle.

I built a lot of muscle.

I became a beast.

Build a lot of muscle.

I've got to go and make myself look perfect in terms of appearance.

Or try to.

Or I have to do something like pretend I am as good as that person.

In Korea and jobs,

I was constantly trying to measure up against people who had years of experiences.

I'm just trying to be like them all the time.

And it showed up everywhere.

In relationships,

There was these fears of,

Oh yeah,

That person is going to screw me over.

So I've got to screw them over first.

That kind of thing,

Right?

Or not even screw them over.

I've just got to protect myself.

I've got to make sure I don't show fully who I am.

All this kind of stuff shows up.

And I think a lot of people can relate to this in some shape or form.

Because when you don't have confidence in yourself,

You build these programs.

You build these ways of being in the world to fit to the world.

To fit to that person.

To fit to what your parents thought of you or what they taught you.

To fit to whatever society you're around,

Right?

So then you start losing like this you.

So how can you trust yourself if you don't even know who you are anymore?

Because you've enclosed that real self into this box that doesn't get seen by anyone.

There's this term from,

I think it's a Japanese term,

Where they say there's three types of self.

One is the one that you show to people.

You know,

Colleagues,

People you meet,

I don't know,

Like everyone generally in the world,

Right?

One is that's your first face.

Your second face is the one that you show to loved ones.

To people that are close to you.

That's slightly different to the first one.

That you allow them to see a bit more,

Right?

Then there's this third face which nobody sees.

The one that's scared,

The one that is unsure of themself.

The one that has all these unconscious things that maybe you don't even know about yet.

That's the real self.

But if it's hidden,

Like there's no way for you to become confident.

Because you're not being yourself.

You see what I mean?

And the reason why I'm saying this is because this is everything I learnt for myself.

This isn't like some things I'm reading from books that seem like,

Oh yeah,

That's what seems to make sense.

No,

These are the things that I've experienced and I'm experiencing with clients I'm working with.

And my whole path,

Just to give you a bit more background,

My whole path was,

First I started with that fitness and health kind of thing.

I built big muscles.

But then it evolved into using that to feel good on the inside.

So using it to feel calm,

To feel energy.

And that then evolved into the work of yoga and spirituality.

And that allowed me to use the body to enter into my most powerful self,

Become still.

Then I read a ton of books and I went on a trip around the world.

I went travelling for a while.

I won't go into all of that.

And that's a story for another day.

I've got actually content on my YouTube channel if you want to check it out.

It gives you all of the background of me and the travelling that I did on my own.

Long story short,

I had to go through a lot of unlearning,

Unlearning a lot of things from the mind and the beliefs from like childhood and stuff like that.

And relearning how to discover like this confidence,

This trust of myself.

So I'm going to pause there for a moment because I've seen a few things in the chat.

That gives you a background on me hopefully.

And I've got an Instagram page.

It's called Raj Gorsea.

There's videos on the post.

Short videos,

5 minutes,

10 minutes.

And my YouTube page has longer videos which is like 30 minutes.

But Instagram is where I'm making content every day.

So if you're on there,

Yeah,

Check it out and you can follow me if you like,

Whatever.

Your choice.

YouTube pages are just Raj Gorsea as well.

I'm going to read through the comments quickly.

Am I Indian?

Yes,

I am Indian Abhishek.

Thanks for asking.

Okay,

Great.

Yeah,

Put a lot of video on there.

Thanks.

Okay.

My candid approach.

That's the other thing.

I don't plan these sessions.

I always say this but it's just a part of the topic of confidence for me and trusting myself.

I trust that I can just press that button and show up here,

Be with you guys,

Listen to what you guys are saying in the comments.

And I trust that I can speak on these topics because I don't need to study them.

I don't need to remember information and say,

Oh yeah,

I'm going to speak about this thing in the session.

It's in here,

Right?

It's embedded inside of me.

It's a part of who I am.

So that's how I've,

That's like one of the ways that I have been able to become most confident and trusting myself.

Because I'm not looking for anything.

I'm not,

I'm not like,

And when I say that,

I mean I'm not looking for everyone to approve of me and say like,

Raj,

This is great.

What you're saying agrees with me.

What I'm doing is I'm saying things that I hope would create insights for you,

Your own insights,

Based on who you are,

Based on what you want to achieve in life,

Right?

I'm not telling anyone become like Raj,

Become a copy of me.

No,

My work in the world is helping people become better at themselves,

Their lives,

Right?

So question from Kaz.

Could you have unlearned without traveling alone?

Yes,

That's a good question.

The travel was a,

Let's just say that was an experience.

But that wasn't what helped me to unlearn stuff.

That was just an experience that I wanted to have for a long time.

And it helped me to,

Yeah,

Become more of myself.

But mostly because it gave me space.

It gave me space to be alone.

Gave me space to learn from and talk to other people.

Sorry.

And yeah,

Nobody needs to go and travel the world to become their best.

I'm very passionate about that because sometimes people think,

Yeah,

Raj,

He went and did these traveling things.

He can do this.

Yeah,

He's had different experiences to me.

No,

Like I came home for a reason.

I didn't have to come home.

I could have traveled for a little while longer.

I came home because I realized I was like,

Yeah,

This travel is amazing,

But I have some deep work to do on myself right now.

I don't need to be traveling.

This traveling is not giving me the deepest work.

Yeah,

It's making experiences.

And on my YouTube channel,

There's like all these lessons I learned from travel.

But I came back so I can isolate myself and do some work.

So I came back and then I spent a few years really like increasing my intensity in terms of meditation,

Yoga,

The foods I was putting into myself,

The practices,

The people I was around,

All of that.

I basically had to have a reset,

Let's just say a cleanse even,

And putting in that discipline and that practice.

That's what created the results.

It doesn't like I don't believe in you have to just have these people ask me,

Like,

Have you have you had a moment of spiritual awakening?

And I say,

I don't I don't even know what that means.

I don't believe in a moment of spiritual awakening,

Like you clap your hands and something just explodes and you're enlightened.

I don't believe in that.

That doesn't make sense to me.

For me,

It's been over time progression.

Yes,

There have been moments which have been huge,

Where I've just my mind's been blown like revelations.

Like session with a coach of mine,

For example,

I have a coach as well.

And something just clicks.

And it's like once you see something differently,

You can't unsee it.

So there have been moments like that,

But it's been over time,

Basically.

So I hope that answers your question and more.

Aha moments,

Exactly.

Aha moments and then take action on it.

So I'm going to come back to this topic now,

Because that feels like a great time.

This thing about confidence is we think that we need it before we do stuff.

We think we need this thing of like,

Yeah,

I'm so clear and I'm so ready to do this.

I feel this readiness.

I have this sign.

I just know.

We think we need this prerequisite that we have to be ready or that we we have to be at this stage before we do stuff.

Here's an example I use sometimes like when I was learning to drive a car.

I didn't know how to drive a car.

I could have said I'm not going to learn because I'm scared of it.

And I actually was very anxious about driving.

I could have said,

No,

I'm not going to learn.

I'm not confident to learn.

Well,

The same with speaking.

Public speaking was one of the biggest fears of my entire life.

Does anyone else agree,

Actually?

I want to hear if anyone else is scared of speaking in public.

I had social anxiety.

I had heavy social anxiety.

And that's really just a term that that doesn't mean anything.

It's just a term that means low self-esteem and other stuff going on.

Right.

I had that going on.

So I never felt confident to speak.

But the difference is courage is different to confidence.

Courage is you say,

I'm going to I'm going to feel this this pain and this fear.

I'm OK with it.

I know it's going to hurt.

I know loads of people who are still speaking in public for a while.

I mean,

Sorry.

And then they're still speaking.

They're still feeling fear.

They're still feeling fear.

No matter how long they've been doing it,

But they just carry on.

They get through it.

Courage builds confidence.

Courage is the thing that allows you to have confidence.

After you drive after a while,

You realize,

OK,

I can actually do this.

So courage is what you need.

Confidence is the reward you get.

And I've been saying this for a while,

So if you've heard me say this in my last sessions,

I'm going to say it again,

Just so I drill it in.

Because this this drilled in for me.

So I'm sharing what has worked for me.

Right.

You get the confidence after you're courageous enough.

After you're saying,

I'm going to I'm scared,

I'm scared as hell.

I'm so scared.

I'm shaking scared.

I want to cry scared.

I wish the world would just gobble me up scared.

I don't even want to tell anyone I'm scared.

That's how scared I am.

If you're able to get through that.

Like.

Then you get that confidence.

And you have to trust yourself.

But when I say trust yourself.

Not trusting the mind self.

Because the mind doesn't want you to trust yourself.

Why would it?

The mind is a tool that is.

Preparing you for possible dangers.

Like people people talk about the mind being this parasite and enemy and there's all sorts of names for it.

If you read all these self-development books,

They'll they'll give you all of these names and bad mouth the mind.

And I know it feels like that.

I used to say the same stuff.

I used to hate my mind.

I used to wish I could just like I don't know do something to get rid of it.

Get rid of the anxious thoughts the fear the worries.

But it's not the mind that's the problem is your thinking about it which is the problem.

Is your relationship to it.

It's like think about if you.

Here's an example.

Imagine that you.

Had never eaten an apple pie before.

Every time you eat an apple pie.

You get sick.

You get sick.

So now every time you see an apple pie.

You think of being sick.

Your relationship to apple pies is different now.

It's the same with the mind.

If your relationship to the mind and the thoughts are reactive and you're prejudging assuming.

Then of course it's going to feel like an enemy.

It's your desire to try and do stuff about the mind which is the challenge.

Like courage doesn't come from your mind.

Courage doesn't even that doesn't make sense.

Courage comes from your heart.

How could it come from the mind right.

Think about that for a minute.

When have you ever felt courageous in the mind.

Like your mind doesn't say oh yeah you're you're you're courageous like try that.

Try it right now try and like think about being courageous.

It's a feeling.

Comes from the heart.

The word itself core is built from the word core.

Which originally comes from meaning heart.

That's literally the word meaning.

If you guys are logical here's a logical thing that helped me when I was like oh it means heart.

OK cool makes sense.

So that's that's my thoughts on courage.

Courage is all really you need confidence you get afterwards.

Confidence is your mind backing it up.

Is your logic.

Confidence is just just a term.

It's your logic that's saying oh OK based on these experiences.

Raj actually can drive now.

Plug that into mind.

OK now Raj is a bit confident.

So you can't.

There's no sense in.

Judging yourself if you don't feel confidence.

Just just play in a different realm higher consciousness.

That's where courage lives.

So I'm going to pause there and I'm going to talk about trusting yourself in a moment because that's a whole slightly different topic.

I want to read through the comments for a moment.

Any questions I want questions to come in.

If you have a question please type the word question at the beginning.

Just makes it easier for me to find.

I only say that because a few people started doing that and I was like oh that's so kind of you.

And I thought I'd I'd remind you that is it.

Yeah it makes it easier for me.

Sharon says so I don't need to wait for the right moment.

No that doesn't exist.

If you were waiting and mentally thinking is this the right moment is this the right moment.

If it's a mental game of Yeah I need to I need to have that feeling of being ready.

Yeah I'm ready.

Doesn't ready doesn't exist.

Ready is you like.

Here's another example.

Let's say that you are on the dance floor or your friends are on the dance floor and then they're saying hey come over come dance.

You're not feeling it.

You don't want to do this.

But then they they convince you they're like come come come come.

And I don't like to dance by the way.

But anyway.

Like come come.

And then you start moving and you're still feeling resistance you're like no no I don't.

I'm going to go sit down again and they're like no no no just this song.

And then eventually what happens is you start feeling the vibes right.

You start feeling it you get ready.

After you've taken action.

Why wait for yourself to take action when you feel ready.

Because what ends up happening is you will you will be ready when you're taking action.

Right.

That's that's my thoughts.

And that's my challenge.

If you're having some resistance with something right now.

I want you to think about what's the small action you can take.

The small action you can take even if you don't want to do it.

So.

Let me just go back to the comments.

I think that was.

Sharon that said it.

Let's see.

Saying that you don't have to feel ready.

Yeah it was.

Yeah.

OK great.

OK I'm going to go to see what other questions there are guys.

So there's a there's one there from Adrian.

I'm going to quickly grab that and copy and paste it somewhere.

Hold on.

Where has it gone.

Riley's had an aha moment.

I'd love to share.

I love you to share what your aha moment is Riley.

To see see if anyone else is thinking it right.

That's what I love about this this this platform that there's people connected in different ways and.

Yeah I love about that the chat.

Everything's going on in there as well.

So Adrian says struggling away that is healthy and gaining enough physical movement to be physically healthy for 30 years.

Plus it feels like it's always just out of reach.

Yeah that's interesting.

So when you say eating in a way that's healthy and maintaining enough physical movement to be physically healthy.

Here's the thing like you have to know what your goal is because like maybe you know this already but I'm just basing it on what you've said.

You have to know what physically healthy means to you first.

And then then you know what that is right.

And then you have to make small steps to get there.

Like most people that I'm working with they want to either take massive steps or they want to take nothing.

We have this like all or nothing mentality most of the time.

The same with all this like confidence stuff.

It's like I have to be this or if I'm not I'm this.

Right.

This or this.

There's always that like this happens so much when I'm coaching people.

There's always these extremes.

There's this gray area in between where you can have everything.

So if you want to be healthy what are like the small steps you can do to build up to that.

And here's a question I sometimes ask people I say if you really want this.

Are you willing to spend a year on it?

Are you willing to spend a year and then you will be at that place?

Are you willing to commit?

This year I am going to commit to be healthy.

Then you will get there.

There's no there's no way you won't get there.

You just have to make a year long commitment.

And then you just have small steps in between.

So if physically healthy means I'm eating these kind of foods.

Or my you know you're aiming for certain nutritional goals.

You have to mark that down.

And you have to build to it.

I think building to it is better if it's feeling new for you.

And also like the other part of this which I like to encourage.

To take it different to a different level is find stuff you enjoy man.

Like to be physically to be working out isn't isn't very fun.

If you're doing something you hate right.

Like if you're if you're going for a run and torturing yourself with it.

You're probably not going to want to do it.

If you're doing like something like dancing some people like dancing right.

Yeah that's that's like something you can enjoy.

Or if you're going on a hike that's something you can enjoy.

If you're lifting weights yeah if you enjoy that kind of feeling of lifting a heavy weight.

Yeah you're going to want to do it.

So what I usually encourage people when I'm working with them is how can we make this.

How can we achieve this in the most fun way possible.

How can we achieve whatever you want.

Like I'm working with business owners.

I'm working with people who are managing teams.

And I say the same question to them.

I say how can we achieve this in the most fun way.

And they're like what what do you mean.

And it throws them off completely.

Because then we we we go into that world of like this creative self.

Not this oh I'm a serious adult who has to have a serious plan.

And I have to have all the statistical scientific knowledge to get this stuff done.

No forget all of that.

Like come back to your creative potential as a human.

The stuff that lights you up a little bit.

Then you're going to do whatever you want.

Like I introduced the aspect of play into all of the coaching I have right.

Even if it's a really challenging thing someone's going through.

I'll make it into play.

Because that's the way people work.

If you're lighting up this side of you which is like the inner child you can call it if you want.

But I don't want that term to get mixed up with what people might think that is.

Which is oh I've got to you know go on this healing journey.

Now I'm talking about the inner child which is in you which loves fun and enjoys stuff.

If you do that with your health man you're going to be healthy easily.

So that was to Adrian.

And if you want to ask me some stuff Adrian drop me a private message on Insight Timer.

Or you can drop me a private message on my social media channels.

Whatever you like.

That's to anyone actually here.

Anyone who is challenged and wants to get something done or wants some kind of change.

Just drop me a message and there's probably a resource I can send you.

I went mad for a few months and made like 50 different videos and stuff like that.

So I've got a resource library basically.

So if there's anything you want some support with tell me what you want support with.

Anyone here and I'll send you something.

Or we have a conversation you know whatever I can help you guide you into the right direction basically.

There's a bunch of people who've messaged me actually.

And I get real nice messages back because like if there's something I can send you that's going to help.

Or a few things I can ask you a few questions that are going to feel like they're going to throw you off.

But they're going to help then great.

So feel free to reach out.

250 people here.

Nice to see you all.

If you've joined recently then I'm just answering questions right now.

On the topic of confidence,

Courage,

Trusting oneself.

I'm going to talk about trusting oneself in a short moment.

So stick around.

But I'm just going to see if I can loop into some of the comments.

I'm going to just go for questions guys.

I'm not going to read through everything because there's quite a lot of things here.

So apologies for that.

Laura says,

So doing it even with the fear.

Yeah doing everything with the fear.

Fear and excitement are actually very much,

They're pretty much the same.

I don't know where I learned this but they are the same thing.

It's only your thinking about it which is deciding what it is.

Right?

Your thinking about it.

Sit with that for a moment.

Fear and excitement are the same frequency.

It's only your thinking about it which changes it.

How to develop intuition.

Okay,

Okay,

Great.

Wow,

That's a great question.

And I might actually hold another session on intuition because a few people have asked me about this.

Yeah,

Let me come back to that in a moment.

Let me just check the other questions because I'm losing track actually.

Let me have a quick look.

I don't think I see any other questions anyway.

Paris says I'm helping you a lot.

Yeah,

I'm glad I'm helping you Paris.

That's awesome.

In what way?

I'd love to hear.

I think there's a scrolling limit on the comments.

It doesn't let me go higher than that.

Okay,

That's interesting.

Okay,

Any other questions drop them in now before I continue guys.

Dancing on your own.

Yeah,

Of course you can dance on your own Sharon.

Why not?

Like why?

What's the reason not to?

It doesn't have to be like classical dance.

Just something to just shake you up,

Feel good.

Yeah,

Thank you,

Kedi.

Okay.

Renuka says can we talk about the power of our thoughts?

Yes,

We will.

Give me a moment.

I'll come back to that.

Ines says how can we begin to tap into courage?

Okay,

Great.

How do you set boundaries for yourself?

Okay,

That's a good one.

David.

Alright,

I'm going to go to David's question first and then I'm going to come back to the intuition one.

And then the courage one.

Alright,

Let me just write them down so I don't lose them.

Okay.

Alright,

So I've got all of those now.

Okay,

Awesome.

Yeah,

So how do we begin to tap into courage?

That's a great one because it starts with your heart.

And I love that that rhymes because that's a good way to remember it.

Start with heart.

Whatever you're doing,

If you're feeling some kind of fears,

Start with heart.

What's your heart saying?

It's funny,

Like I was talking to someone just before this.

I don't know if he's here,

But now I don't think he can make it.

But I was coaching someone and he was telling me this like this,

There's two voices inside me,

Raj.

I don't know what they are.

He's like,

Have you ever heard of this?

And I was like,

Yeah,

I know exactly what you mean.

So there's these two voices inside of him.

One of them is a bad voice.

That's the way he described it.

And he said the other way is the other voice is a good voice.

And I was like,

Okay,

Interesting.

Tell me what they are.

Why would why do you call this one good?

And he said,

Well,

The good voice,

Raj,

Is telling me everything's okay and I should just,

You know,

Trust myself,

Trust other people.

And I feel nice and light when I'm in this good voice.

And then he said the bad voice is the one telling me to be prepared and don't let anyone get too close and mess with me.

And block people out.

Because they might hurt me,

He said.

And I said,

Which one would you choose if you had to choose?

And he said,

Of course,

The good voice.

I said,

Okay,

So how is the bad voice serving you?

And he said,

Well,

It keeps me safe.

So maybe it's not bad.

And then he started realizing that this voice is there.

But it's not actually it doesn't mean anything.

It doesn't mean you have to listen to it.

It's like if you were if there was like two people in the room behind me and they're talking really loudly,

I can get annoyed.

And I can say,

You know,

Well,

I can listen to them.

And I can try and get involved.

Or I can just not.

I can listen to this other voice,

Which is.

Which doesn't relate to that.

But the challenge is that for most people,

The that voice is really loud.

Whereas the quiet one,

The sorry,

The good voice is really quiet.

So quiet that it's hard to hear.

And I remember when I was going through these challenges myself,

I used to like visualize stuff a lot.

So I used to visualize like imagining a small child in a crowd.

Imagine like a concert.

Right.

Imagine a concert where there's like these rock people just jumping and,

You know,

They're all wearing black.

There's so much noise.

But then behind all of that,

There's this like tiny child in.

I used to visualize this tiny child in like a yellow coat.

This tiny child in a yellow coat who's who's trying to get you to listen to them.

But it's so quiet that you can't hear.

So the work we have to do is to distinguish between that loud voice and this tiny child who's there.

If you can move away all the noise and mute them.

Or just turn their volume down and listen to that child.

That's how you tap into courage.

You tap into courage by like really feeling into what that quiet voice is saying.

Because here's the thing.

If you don't listen to it,

You're a bag full of regrets.

Everyone knows that feeling,

Right?

That regretting feeling.

You feel regret when you didn't listen to your real self.

You don't feel regret when you don't listen to your planning self.

Your thinking self.

You feel disgusting regret when you don't listen to your truer self.

It eats you up inside.

That's how bad the regret is.

I know because I felt that for a long time.

And most people I talk to when we're talking about like meaning in their life,

That's the thing that's usually missing.

I don't have meaning in my life.

I'm not really connected to who I am.

That's what's eating them up inside.

That's why they come to me.

Because this is important.

It's very important.

It eats you up inside if you don't listen to it.

So if you start listening to the courage,

The heart.

Then you hear the fear,

All these things that are saying no no no no you can't,

Everything's gonna go wrong.

You're gonna get hurt.

All those voices.

You hear those but you go with courage and proceed with what you wanna do.

I sometimes call it going in with wet pants.

Because that helps people to remember.

I use funny phrases sometimes when I'm working with people.

Because then they remember very clearly.

When I say going in with wet pants,

Where did I get this from?

So an army guy was telling all of the new cadets,

He was about to tell them to do something so scary like go swim into the freezing sea and try and survive.

He said,

Who's scared here?

And they all said no,

None of us.

No,

We're not scared.

One guy put his hand down and he said I'm scared.

And he said,

Well,

Now I know that I can trust you because you're the only one who was brave enough to say it.

The one who's brave enough to say it.

Going in with wet pants means you pee yourself in fear.

That's why I say this.

You pee yourself in fear if you have to.

You have wet pants.

Where you continue doing what you're gonna do.

So remember,

Anytime you feel fear,

Go in with wet pants.

I want you to write this down.

I want you to write this down somehow.

Somewhere,

Go in with wet pants.

Stick that somewhere.

Anytime you feel fear.

311 people here.

Hello everyone.

If you've come in,

You might be wondering why is he talking about wet pants?

Wet pants and the child in the yellow coat among the crowd.

Yes,

That's your takeaways.

Alright guys.

We're approaching the hour point.

And I'm gonna scroll up and see if there's any questions.

I think there was another question.

So someone said before,

How do we develop intuition?

I'm not gonna go into depth on that but it's related to courage.

Courage and intuition comes from heart.

It comes from a deeper place.

You develop intuition by letting go of mind.

Like I don't think there's a way you can get it.

You can't develop it like a skill.

It's more of removing the noise around it.

It's more of like listening to it and being able to trust it and go with it.

I don't think intuition is like how we know it in the physical realm.

I practice this thing and it gets better.

For me personally,

It's been more about higher awareness of the mind.

And being able to separate myself from mind.

From that voice I was talking about.

Those loud voices.

Alright so,

The power of our thoughts somebody talked about.

That's also linked into this.

The power of our thoughts.

Yeah I'm gonna talk about that in relation to trusting ourselves.

Like the only reason we feel fear or worry that someone's gonna screw us over is because we don't trust ourselves enough.

We don't trust ourselves.

We don't trust that everything's gonna be okay.

We don't trust that we can handle it.

Because it brings us back to that original fear of whatever that might be.

For me it was like fear of abandonment or fear of being alone.

That's what haunted me for a long time.

So I couldn't risk anything in my life being slightly related to that.

So public speaking.

Social anxiety was all related to that.

Rejection.

Stuff like relationships.

Not being able to give my whole self.

Because I thought,

Yeah if I give my whole self there's a risk.

I could be rejected or I'm not good enough.

You know that stuff.

So trusting yourself is really like knowing who you are and what you need.

What do you need?

What are your needs?

I say this to people sometimes when I'm coaching them.

I'm like what do you want?

What are your needs?

And if you're in a relationship and you're not telling someone your needs and you're having expectations like he should do this,

She should do that.

That just causes everyone problems.

Because you're not communicating what you need deep down.

I need you to show me that you can give me the love I want.

I need this kind of affection.

And the same thing comes with everything.

Anytime you talk to someone,

Any communication.

If you're not communicating and you're in an assumption mind and I know because my mind tells me I've calculated this stuff.

That's not smart.

Really.

We think it's smart.

It feels like it's smart.

It might feel like oh yes I've calculated the thing that might happen in the future.

I've beat life.

I've beaten life by using my mind.

And I'm saying all this stuff because I tried all of this.

I tried to calculate stuff.

I tried to predict the future.

I tried everything and it doesn't help.

You just get caught.

So you have to let go.

Trusting yourself is letting go of yourself really.

Letting go of your assumptions.

Letting go of your thoughts.

Being comfortable to be wrong.

Being comfortable being wrong.

Like there's so many people who I've met who are not comfortable being a tiny bit wrong.

Only on their terms.

But if you really want to be able to let go of your mind and become totally confident and comfortable with yourself.

You have to be okay with being wrong.

You have to be okay with not knowing everything.

Saying yeah look I don't know anything.

So that's when you trust yourself.

You trust yourself when you let go of yourself really.

When you let go of your mind.

Then you trust your heart instead.

And heart doesn't really fit in the container of you.

Heart is a container of everything.

If that makes sense.

And I'm going into a flow right now.

So let me know what's coming up for you guys.

Heart is not really yourself.

So you don't need to be.

You don't even compare yourself with anyone once you're at this point.

You don't compare yourself with anyone because again you're out of yourself.

So the more you connect with the heart.

The more you get courage which allows you to build confidence.

Which allows you to trust yourself.

Which allows you to trust everyone else as well.

So I'm going to pause there guys because I'm going to pause the flow because I could probably speak for hours on this.

I want to know more questions.

I'm going to quickly check the questions in here.

Fatima says how do I strike a balance in my mind?

What kind of balance do you want?

What does a balance mean?

Umm.

Yeah feel free to ask some more questions guys because I don't think I can see anymore.

Thanks for the donation.

Who was that?

I completely missed it.

Let me see if I can find it.

Oh Sharon.

Oh thank you.

Much appreciated.

Donations are great because I think inside time I take half of it anyway.

But it's great because what they do is they're improving the platform right?

And I'm seeing them do this quite a lot actually recently.

They're making the platform better.

They're making it better for you guys who are here and also teachers like me.

So I appreciate the donations.

Thank you.

Thank you Sanjon as well.

So yeah I've recorded this.

So I'm going to upload this later.

So there's two questions in there.

How to listen to the voice of the heart.

Yes.

People have said that.

Great.

I'm glad you said that.

Fear comes from my imagination let's say.

Yeah basically.

Hello Nathaniel.

Nice to see you.

There's 332 people here.

Guys if you want to contact me on Instagram you can check my Instagram out.

Raj Gursia.

There's tons of content there and if you like to read books.

I think I've put like 50 book recommendations on that page.

I put in a mini review on there saying this is a book I've just I've personally read right and what I've got from them.

And I read like a book a week and an audio book a week.

So the books I put there are the ones I really really recommend.

So check them out and let me know your thoughts.

How can I read a room on Zoom.

Okay Heather says that.

All right.

I'm going to say I'm going to answer that one first.

And then I'm going to go to the ones on how to access the heart.

Thank you Sharon.

Recording Annalise send me a message and I'll send it to you.

But I'll upload it eventually.

I don't know when.

But yeah send me a message and that's how you can get it quickest.

How can I read the room on Zoom.

Yeah thanks Heather.

On Zoom like the way I do it.

I think I said I don't have any plans when I am even just now.

I don't know what I'm going to say next.

And I don't ever plan my sessions.

I usually ask what would be most useful for the people here.

If I'm doing something on Zoom I would ask everyone that's there what would be most useful for you.

If by the end of this session you left with something.

What would that be if it was something amazing.

So how can we blow those expectations.

That's what I usually say to people.

That's how I work with someone when I'm coaching them as well.

One to one.

Say OK we're here.

How can we make this the best use of your hour in the entire week.

And that's probably the way I'd recommend Heather.

Just go with who's there right.

And then forget your own agenda.

Have a little bit of an agenda.

But yeah depends what kind of thing you're doing basically and what kind of process.

But anyway drop me a message about that if you'd like.

I could talk to you about that.

And how to listen to the voice and the heart.

It's sometimes someone said.

Here's the thing.

Like when we have noise and we're frantic in our day is basically impossible to listen to your heart.

Because you're so in mind.

You're so in this thing.

So number one is to slow down.

Slow down.

I sometimes set people challenges.

So here's your challenge.

Everyone that's here is 346 of you.

The challenge is.

Tomorrow in your day.

Anytime you feel your mind saying something or trying to push you to do something.

See if you can slow down.

Do whatever you can to slow down.

Maybe that's your breath.

Maybe that's just saying hey.

Why am I rushing?

Asking yourself a question.

Doing something to stop the rush.

Because in the end the rush doesn't actually help that much does it.

I remember when I used to go into London right.

And London is busy in terms of trains.

If anyone's been to London then you know what I mean.

Busyness.

I used to be walking so fast to try to get the train.

To try and to get home on time.

And then all that tension I'd created wasn't worth much.

Because then what happens is not just the tension you create in that moment is the tension that it gets for everything else in your day.

If you're rushing in one thing then that leads over to the next.

And then you get frustrated and angry at someone.

And then that anger creates something for the next.

And then that anger creates something else.

And then sadness comes.

You know it's a roller coaster.

You don't need to do that.

It's not worth it.

There's some things that are worth it and some things that are not right.

Sometimes maybe it is worth it to rush.

You have to judge that.

But my challenge to you is try tomorrow to slow down as much as you can.

Just for one day.

For one day just say I'm going to slow down to the slowest pace I could possibly be at.

And then tell me how your day went.

Tell me how your day was different after that.

I'd love to get a few messages from some of you guys.

I've done this before and I've got messages from people saying wow like not this challenge specifically but sometimes I challenge people and they're like wow that challenge changed my entire week.

And then that challenge allowed this job opportunity to come.

And then or this challenge allowed me to see something different like so many things can happen if you practice.

You take some action.

It's all well and good coming to these sessions and listening to me talk.

But what about the rest of your time in your life?

When I have a session with someone and coach them.

Yeah we meet for an hour and a half or an hour whatever.

That's not the time that everything is changing.

You get the insights.

But then it's up to you and it's up to me when I'm supporting them to give them challenges so they're progressing each day.

So they're not working with me for an hour or a week.

They're having a week or months of change right.

And that's how I want you guys to take this right come to my sessions and then say OK I like what you're saying.

I'm going to own this and take some action because of it.

You just come here and listen.

That's great as well.

I'm not saying there's anything bad about it.

I'm saying if you really want to see change in your life.

Seriously just just take the tiniest action.

That's my invitation.

Because it's worse to have knowledge and have insights and do nothing than not have it at all.

Right.

It's like if I knew that the world's most beautiful mountain was only a mile away.

The world's most beautiful mountain.

I could walk there.

But if I don't do anything and never go and see it.

I'm never going to be able to experience it.

So we've got to go and do the work.

We've got to do something.

Not just say oh yeah cool mountain over there.

Oh cool thing you're saying Raj.

It feels nice and warm and fuzzy.

I don't consider myself as a motivational speaker.

I want people to have insights and actions basically.

That's the transformation right.

So listening to your heart you have to be silent.

You have to go and find space for you to be able to hear that quiet voice.

It's not easy.

I'm not saying it's easy.

None of this is easy but simple.

It is simple.

Simple but not easy.

Simple you just go and find some space.

Go and do it.

Simple.

But not easy.

So I'm going to pause there guys and I don't think there's any more questions.

Let me see.

What has been one insight you've taken from today?

There's 370 people here.

You're listening to this for something.

You've probably heard something you've liked.

Share something in the chat.

Because who knows someone else might also feel the same.

And that might create a buzz.

So what has been your one insight and what might be an action you're going to take away?

Where do I put the books?

The books are on my Instagram page.

So check my Instagram page.

There's a highlight reel which has all these books.

I've said what I've got from them.

I've said what other people get from them.

Yeah it's just Raj Goseya.

There's a link on my profile as well.

So you should be able to click on that.

Otherwise you just find my page is just Raj Goseya.

So check out the book recommendations.

And yeah if there's something you're challenged by send me a message.

I'm always welcome.

I'm always inviting people to check out my book.

I'm always inviting people to ask me stuff.

And I'll send you something that might be helpful right?

For example I've got this document,

Article,

Whatever you want to call it.

Called Five Ways to Challenge Overthinking.

And people have enjoyed that a lot because I put some funny stories in there about being chased by a bear.

So if you want to hear something about being chased by a bear then let me know.

I've also got this article I wrote about five things I would teach myself about meditation and life.

The younger version of myself.

And I like that because a lot of people ask me about meditation.

And it's just an easy way of I can send these things to people.

No then I don't have a.

.

.

Are they on my website did you say?

No.

So you've got to send me a message and I'll send it to you basically.

It's not public.

So yeah check the link on my profile.

Connect with me.

There's also a circle called Powerful Beings.

I think someone put it in the chat already.

I saw it.

If you want to join the circle,

Check out the circle.

And what else?

Janice says,

What if the fear is based on past failed tries at throwing oneself in before.

.

.

Ah wait hold on.

I've lost it.

Okay I've copied it.

Alright so what if the fear is based on past failed tries at throwing oneself in before feeling confident?

And now you tiptoe.

Yeah past failed tries.

Here's a question Janice.

What did you learn from those past failures?

Is framing what failed tries means to you right?

Did you learn to never do that again?

Maybe that's a good learning.

Or did you learn that yeah I got something from this.

I got some wisdom from it.

Did you get anything from it?

Maybe you got the learning that tells you yeah this is maybe not for me.

So that's something right?

So the past failed tries are useful.

Always.

I have this relationship to failure which I used to be scared of failure a lot.

But I've now got this relationship to fail like enjoy it.

Because I get something from it.

I get an experience from it.

So that's all that matters.

I get wisdom.

The story about the child in the yellow jacket.

Okay I'll come back to that.

Abhishek says,

You're so calm.

How did you control your mind?

Yeah I think I'm calm because that's a good question.

How did I control my conscious mind?

So I have practiced a lot of yoga techniques of working with my breath.

That was helpful.

And I was coached.

Even though I am a coach I was also coached.

I got some mentoring.

I also really perfected.

Oh I wouldn't say perfected.

Let's say I really used the power of my body in terms of eating good foods to support my growth.

But that wasn't the main thing.

The main thing was that I was prepared to let go of things.

Like let go of my past beliefs.

Let go of my assumptions.

Just be empty.

And yeah the practices of yoga and meditation help with that.

Yeah I do two sessions a week.

There's another one on Friday called,

Where is it?

The Key Principles on Creating Transformation.

And here's the description.

This manifestation thing is being misunderstood so I'm going to show you how to use the power of your mind,

Your inner energy,

Wisdom and your creative power to create change.

Without the right stance you just get into these fear based actions and empty hope.

And I don't want people to waste their time.

So that's literally what I wrote in there.

So join if you're willing.

It'll be fun.

You're going to get it going to my world of transformation.

That's what I do.

Even though all these talks are about that,

That talk specifically is going to be a bit more focused on it.

Awesome David.

So I'm going to have a quick look.

Any other questions?

Because we're going to finish soon.

I have a 90 minute rule in most things.

So we've got a little while left and I'm going to check the last questions.

Go in with wet pants.

Yes.

Renuka says she's going to send me a message.

Yeah send me a message.

Go for it.

I'd love to hear from any one of you here.

Slow down says Dana.

Yeah.

Accepting the unknown.

Just followed me.

Okay awesome Yvonne.

Fear is the enemy.

Yes.

Well I don't know.

I wouldn't say fear is the enemy.

Because that means you become scared of it.

Right?

That means you start looking at it like I have to defeat this fear.

You don't have to defeat it.

You have to be aware of it.

You just have to be like oh hey fear.

Yeah you're making me feel scared.

I don't have to kill you.

One guy said this to me earlier.

He was like Raj I have to kill this fear.

And I was like that sounds like way too much work man.

You're creating work for yourself.

Why are you creating work?

Why do you want to try and kill this fear?

That seems like you're making more work than you need.

So I coached him on that and he realised yeah I don't need to kill this fear.

I just need to go and do what I want to do.

Killing fear is why?

Fear is there for a reason.

We're biologically given that.

Why would you try and destroy your own nature?

Right?

The thinking is different.

Fear in a biological form is needed.

But the thinking around the fear,

Yeah that's something we can work on like changing your behaviours around.

You're taking away what your heart wants.

Yeah heart is powerful.

When I actually started connecting to the heart in the most powerful way I felt this like explosion going on inside.

And everything started,

Like everything changed from there basically.

So if you can access that power it will change your life.

And that sounds like a cliche but it will.

And if you want,

Like there's a thing on my blog,

I don't know if,

What did I write about it?

About heart is a superpower.

And I wrote all about like what my preconceptions about heart were as a man.

I used to say yeah heart is only a thing that women know what is right?

Only women understand love and only women understand heart.

That was my,

The younger me thinking those things.

So I've written a whole article around this if you want it you can check out my blog.

There's a link to my blog on my page basically.

So anyway I'm going to leave it as that.

I don't think there's any more questions.

Let's have a look.

Everything seems about connecting to the heart,

Yeah.

And when you think about it intellectually it doesn't make sense.

That's why I never understood it.

It was like what?

Heart?

Oh that organ I have.

Oh okay organ.

Heart is organ.

No,

Heart that's not what it is.

That's what I thought.

I was like heart organ okay.

How do I connect to this thing?

Do I have to put my hand here?

What does it mean?

And is a hard one to explain intellectually.

It's more of a feeling.

And you know it.

You can connect to it.

But yeah you know send me a message about this.

And I've got this resource on my video library called.

I think I named it something like.

What the hell do you mean intuition?

That's literally what I called it.

Because that's what I used to think when people used to say that word intuition to me.

I was like what the hell do you mean?

You're talking airy fairy nonsense here.

I don't want to hear any of this stuff.

Why are you telling me this?

I was completely against all of the stuff I'm talking about basically.

So if you want to see that video you'll probably find it quite funny and you'll see where I'm coming from.

I never understood intuition or heart for most of my life.

Now I do.

So I'll yeah drop me a message and I'll send you that resource basically.

How am I so calm?

Yeah I'm calm because what else is there to be?

I don't want to be un-calm.

Yeah I have days when I'm not calm sure.

But mostly I'm in this default state now.

I'm not enlightened.

I still have.

I'm still running a business.

I'm still doing things right?

I'm still working hard.

I'm not just lying around meditating and sitting on a rock.

I still have things I'm working on.

But my choice is to consciously create calm.

Create.

I wasn't born like this.

I created it.

We can all create this.

Everything you can create.

If you're willing to put in the work it will happen.

That's the question I ask anyone that wants to work with me.

I say are you willing to commit yourself to work on this?

Really really work on this.

What are you willing to let go of?

Then you will make this happen.

Otherwise I'm sorry.

It's not going to happen.

And those decisions are not easy to make sometimes.

Because we don't trust ourselves.

But yeah.

It's the only way.

Alright guys.

Time to go.

410 people here.

If all of you come to the next event you will hear me talk more about this.

Follow me on Insight Timer.

I'm putting a meditation out every so often.

Every week or so.

There's a Powerful Beings group.

Join that if you want.

I ask questions that make people think.

Maybe it makes people feel like what the hell are you saying Raj?

But I want to inspire Insight.

Join me on Instagram.

I post things every day.

You'll just hear what's going on with my life.

I've spoken to this client and he just said this thing to me.

That kind of stuff is there.

So if you want to check me out.

Check me out.

Send me a message.

If you're challenged by something.

My invitation.

Send me a message.

Because I know when I was challenged by stuff I didn't tell anyone.

I kept it to myself.

That's why I always say various times in the session to reach out to me if you like.

Alright guys.

Have a good day.

And we'll be speaking soon.

Thank you for the kind words.

Enjoy.

And think of what one insight you have had.

And then tomorrow what is one action you can take.

That's the challenge.

One insight.

One small action.

Go and do it.

If you don't you're just going to regret it.

You're just going to bully yourself.

So are you willing to take that hit?

Alright.

See you later.

Reviews

Raj, that was amazing. Many pearls of wisdom. Namely, courage starts from the heart and from there the confidence will come.. I’ll go in with wet pants!