How To Find Clarity & Confidence In Yourself

Recorded on the 3rd June 22. I talked about the challenges we all face with confidence and how to overcome them. I share my personal stories and tell you what I've done to help myself move forward as well as how I help others. I also discuss clarity, the other thing that most people wish for most. Buckle up, this was an episode that raised a lot of eyebrows.

Transcript

There we go,

I'm hitting record.

So today's session is about how to find clarity and confidence in yourself.

These two things in some shape or form maybe not those words but this is what everyone wants.

When everyone contacts me they want some kind of clarity,

Some kind of confidence and I'm gonna tell you what I think about that in a moment.

But first like I said let's do a short practice to warm up our beings.

I was gonna say brains but we're going somewhere beyond brains today.

Somewhere way beyond brains.

So get yourself into your position whatever that is.

Maybe you're lying down,

Maybe you're even walking,

People have told me that before.

But maybe you're sitting maybe you're in a comfortable place.

Whatever you're doing all I'm asking you to do is to raise your level of awareness,

The attention you are paying to my voice,

To the space you are in.

Whatever you're doing if you're walking same thing.

Meditation is a state of being.

It's a state of being that's beyond the act of cross-legged traditional meditation.

Meditation is a state of being.

And the traits of this state of being is presence,

Higher awareness.

So those of you who are sat you can close your eyes.

If you're walking probably not closing your eyes because you might walk into a lamp post that wouldn't be nice.

Or you can keep your eyes open even if you're sat down.

Listen to my voice with full attention.

And your thoughts might be moving through you.

You may be saying I'm not so good at meditating.

I'm having too many thoughts in a dialogue.

It's okay to have thoughts.

Listen to your breath.

Stomach rises.

And the stomach falls.

You are not doing that.

It is a happening.

If you find yourself blowing and controlling your breath,

Saying oh I'm gonna I'm gonna control my breath.

I'm gonna slow it down.

I'm gonna breathe.

Well you don't need to do that.

You don't need to be involved in your breath.

Play the game of letting go.

All control.

Just for now.

Just for now.

When you sleep,

Breath comes in.

Breath goes out.

So just watch it.

Zooming in.

And then going out.

Belly rises.

Belly falls.

Body rises.

Body falls.

As you breathe in,

Feel yourself energizing.

And as you breathe out,

Let go of the energy.

In and out.

At your own pace,

There's no rush.

There's no rush.

If the thoughts appear,

Just come back to your breath.

Let the thoughts be there.

In and out.

Like the sun that rises and falls.

Like the waves that rise and fall.

Now we're gonna come back to the session.

So whenever you're ready,

Slowly move your body.

Bring your awareness to the session.

You can hear in the chat how you feel now compared to that very short segment slowing down.

Now this phrase,

Slowing down to speed up.

It's like if you're going towards a corner in your car,

You have to slow down to make the corner.

You can't go at it all crazy.

You're gonna crash.

And then you've got to repair your car and then you know all that trouble.

You can just slow down and take the turn with ease and grace like a ballet dancer.

So let me know where you're at in this moment guys.

Has anyone fallen asleep?

It's time to wake up.

It's time to wake up.

We're going into the speeding up part.

But at the same time enjoy,

Enjoy how you feel right now.

Put in the chat.

What is your state of being right now?

What are you noticing?

What's your energy like?

Put it in the chat.

Any difference to when you joined?

Put it in the chat.

And then we'll continue after I get a bit of feedback from you guys.

Okay,

One person has said calm and relaxed.

Calm and relaxed.

Good.

So here's the thing.

This session is about finding clarity and confidence.

When you're in a calm state.

Okay,

Here's some more things coming through.

Okay,

Feeling good.

Very relaxed compared to anxious before.

Sadness first.

Moving back into balance.

Yeah,

It's like when we're in a calmer state.

We can see things differently.

And the thing for me is like calm is the focus of being calm is not to just be here and be all like blissed out.

Like that's the byproduct.

That's a bonus.

That's great.

Calm is also a powerful tool to navigate through life.

Because if you want to have confidence in a decision you're going to make or thoughts you're having or what to do next.

Who am I?

Where do I want to take my life?

Being in that calmer state it changes everything.

Because we have this autopilot that's running telling us what to do.

What we should do.

The shoulds.

The stories.

The beliefs that we carry around in our head from childhood.

From things that might have burnt us when we were younger.

So we're like running off all of that stuff.

So the whole you know this session I called how to find clarity and confidence in yourself.

This is a how-to.

I've just modeled to you.

I've just modeled to you one how-to.

How to find calm and confidence or clarity and confidence is slowing yourself down.

Slow yourself down.

You know you see dances.

I was in Spain just recently and before that I was in Latin America right.

And I was like these guys move like they're silk.

They move like they're silk.

It's like so smooth.

I don't understand it.

I just don't.

I'm like how is it how does it look so beautiful.

Because they're in calmer states even if they're fired up.

Even if they're fired up they are in calm states.

That's where confidence comes from.

Confidence requires a person to be in calm.

You know have you ever seen anyone being in a state of clarity or confidence.

Who's in a panic.

Who's like you can't even talk.

The fight or flight response is triggered so it's very challenging.

We are in danger mode at that point.

Safety is under threat.

So how to.

I use language very specifically.

When I say how to one of those how to's is.

Okay.

Slow yourself down.

So you've just done this with me.

You're probably here in this community for that reason.

To learn how to slow yourself down right.

That's something I call a skill.

I think it's a skill.

I don't think it's like oh that person's so calm.

I'm not that type of person.

I think it's a skill that we can build.

That's why I've treated it anyway as a skill.

As something I've learnt,

Discipline and practice.

I wasn't calm.

I wasn't calm.

My whole life wasn't I wasn't calm.

People say to me you know people will meet me and say Raj you're the most calm person I've ever met.

It's like quite a high thing to say to another human right.

Then they say have you always been this way.

I even get questions like did your voice change?

Did your voice change?

Like has your voice always been this way?

And I say I think so.

I think it has changed.

I think it has changed.

I think it has changed.

Because I've had to create calm.

I wasn't calm before at all.

I was stuck in fight or flight.

I would sweat so much just by living.

I would have a profuse sweating just by being a human because I was in fight or flight mode.

I would have to wear darker clothes.

I had all these tactics because I was constantly in fight or flight in fear.

Worry.

Questioning myself.

Can anyone relate to that?

Like feeling like you're in fight or flight mode a lot?

Put a yes in the chat.

Do you feel like you're in fight or flight mode or you get into situations and you panic?

Or you dim your light?

You know that's the other response you know fight,

Flight or freeze.

The freeze response sometimes occurs.

It's like you can't say your words.

Yes.

We're getting some yeses.

Most of the time.

See that's how it was for me.

Most like that's all I knew.

I didn't know what it was to be any different.

I tried all of these supplements.

And these days health and fitness is becoming part of everyone's life right?

I tried all these supplements.

That's actually how I got into this path of personal development.

Because I got into fitness and running and weightlifting and health foods.

Started this journey about 10 years ago right?

Tackle anxiety.

That was my goal.

Fitness.

Health.

And then I got into all of these like oh there's a supplement I can take.

Ah I can take magnesium.

Ah it says this will help me with anxiety.

Ah this is the thing that I need.

Oh no I oh well that didn't work as well.

Oh let's try this thing.

Let's try this specialty.

This specialty will do this thing to make me calmer and more confident.

And here's the truth.

I'll hit you straight with this.

I'll hit you straight with this.

Those things support the process.

None of them are a magical thing that's gonna.

It's not gonna have the biggest impact.

That's my belief.

Someone else might say different.

You might talk to a nutritionist and they'll say no no no.

Oh you you go on this specific diet and everything is cured.

They might say that but that's not how I see it.

I've I've studied all the nutrition.

I under I've gone and tried all this stuff.

Didn't work.

But it does support.

Teas they do slow you down.

Yes the supplements do support in some way.

But also with that like there's side effects of taking a pill that that is meant to have your your your daily dose of what your your life needs doesn't add up really.

Like it doesn't really add up.

Foods do help.

Vegetables,

Fruits.

I'm I'm very focused on what I put into my body.

Very focused.

But what I've learned my conclusion over this study this experiment is.

It's a fantastic support.

But it's not going to solve everything.

It's required.

Very much.

So but it is not the cure like it has been said in some places and I feel strongly about that.

So what does help.

To become calm confident.

Well meditation things like meditation slowing down.

But here's the other point I'll be very clear on.

That alone even that alone is not is not going to be the magical thing.

Just the act of sitting down for 10 minutes alone that's not the magical thing either.

I've come to realize it's a combination of modalities.

Great food.

Good support process.

Meditation great to allow you to be aware of your own mental health.

Allow you to be aware and slow down.

But then you get aware of these things and you start realizing more about yourself.

And navigating those those stormy seas.

That's where the most insight can come when you have these realizations.

And here's the other thing about confidence.

I'm I'm like riffing everywhere here so I'm going to slow down in a moment.

I've just been made aware through my own intuition and I'm riffing everywhere.

But I'm going to say one more thing before I slow down.

Another thing about confidence is sometimes it requires taking action.

We create confidence through courageous actions.

The courage is required to have a reward of confidence.

You get confidence as a reward of the courageous act you've done beforehand.

Sometimes that's how it works.

So let's say let's give an example.

Say you wanted to travel somewhere alone for the first time.

You've never done it before.

Maybe you read about it.

Maybe a friend has done it.

Maybe your internal state of being is saying this is weird,

This is wrong.

And I'm talking about my past self right now.

If you haven't noticed.

This is weird,

This is wrong.

There's nothing that's going to there's nothing that's going to give me the knowing of this experience going well apart from doing it.

Nothing.

So you do it the first time.

Now you get this like tiny nugget of reward of confidence.

You've done it.

So now you can experience it again and again.

It's still scary perhaps.

But you've done it in some shape or form.

So that's the other part of confidence is creating it through action.

A very powerful way.

So to conclude my riff right there.

To have this state of clarity,

Confidence,

Requires an internal shift in being.

Slowing down.

Slowing down.

Slowing down.

It requires great support habits.

It requires working through mental blocks,

Psychological things.

But it also requires just taking action despite of all of the mental blocks.

All at once.

And pie is like a trifle.

So I want to pause right there.

Like I said,

I caught myself.

I want to slow down.

What are you getting from this session so far?

It's been 32 minutes where I've just talked about these things.

What is your insight?

Because it's like those insights can occur from nowhere.

And it only takes one insight for everything to change.

So what is one insight?

What are you taking away from this session so far?

32 minutes in.

Time is precious.

You've spent your 32 minutes here.

Yeah,

Firstly,

I feel honored.

Great to be here together.

Secondly,

Why?

What are you getting from it?

What's been your insight?

Please share in the chat,

Because even if you just share it,

Other people are going to be like,

Ah,

That connects to something I'm experiencing.

And it just creates this buzz between us.

And the other thing I'll do is I'll see the comments and I'll speak on them further.

So what is your insight so far?

And what is your question?

And what is your question?

What is the question that's lingering somewhere inside you about how to create confidence?

What's in your way?

What are the blocks?

How do you actually make this a transformation?

If you feel like you're always worrying,

You're always challenged by these things like I was for sure.

What are your questions about how do you change this now?

How do you transform?

So I welcome a discussion now in the chat,

Guys.

I'm going to play this game I did yesterday.

I'm just going to stay silent.

It was fascinating.

I stayed silent to a level of discomfort.

Until people started sharing,

Because silent is when you really start absorbing and thinking about stuff.

You know,

We watch a TV show with constant action.

But we're just doing stuff all the time,

Right?

So let's stay in silence for a moment.

Reflect on confidence and what it means to you.

Reflect on what it means to you.

Reflect on anything I've said so far,

Even a word.

And.

.

.

Then share anything in the chat.

A word.

Question.

Curiosity.

And I'll be here.

Thank you.

We're going to stay here for a bit longer,

Guys.

Keep checking in.

Listening.

To your voices inside.

Silence,

Guys.

I'm going to read through some of the comments now.

Okay.

Imagine a global day of silence.

What a difference it could make.

Yes,

Imagine.

I've done this a few times,

Actually.

I've created.

.

.

Because I like to experiment on myself in every way.

So I've done a day where I just didn't speak.

Even when I was around people,

I carried a notepad.

And I thought,

I want to know what it feels like to not have a voice.

I want to know what does it feel like if I cannot speak?

A little notepad or I use my phone or something like that.

But I just didn't.

.

.

I wasn't around too many people.

I purposely created this environment for myself.

Silence.

It's not easy,

But so many insights can come.

It's like,

You know,

When they do one minute silences for remembrance days of military and stuff like that.

There's something powerful about it.

Even at one minute.

Right?

All right,

I'm going to read the chat.

Thanks for everyone who shared and even people who didn't share.

You still got something.

Something's moving in through you for sure.

So I'm glad to see you're still here.

And if you want to share,

You still can,

By the way.

But no pressure.

All right,

Guys.

It's like an intermission occurred.

And what have we got in the chat?

I feel like I have this courageous part of myself.

And at the same time,

This really scared part of myself.

Yes.

Yeah,

It can literally feel like there's two parts.

There's two parts.

That's exactly it.

It can literally feel like there's two parts.

One is like,

Let's go,

Let's go.

The other part is like,

No,

No,

No.

What about this?

What about this?

What about that?

And I can tell you straight up that we do have parts like that.

Or we are under the impression that there are parts like that.

One is the intellect,

The chatter,

The memories and the things our parents told us to be worried about.

And the things that we have molded into through our experiences.

Oh,

Don't do that.

That's not OK.

No,

No,

No,

No.

What about that?

And combined with that is also the physical nature we have,

Which is worried about danger,

Right?

It feels like we're under physical threat when someone discourages us.

That equals physical threat to us.

So this is all working together to tell us to avoid stuff.

And here's the thing.

I've done a lot of work on this,

Actually,

Because I used to hate this voice.

We need this.

It's useful.

It's a friend.

And the whole process,

The development process I went on was turning this thing into a friend.

It wasn't an easy process,

But I went through a process of how can I listen to this voice and it not be this thing I hate?

And how can it not limit my life at the same time?

So that's something to look out for.

And if you want to talk about this further,

Send me a message and I'll happily share with you how to work on these voices inside and how to change your relationship to it.

Very important.

Very important.

Very important.

And then there's this other voice,

Second voice,

Which is like,

Go for it,

Do it.

It's this free spirit.

And time and time again,

I'll work with someone and I'll literally get them to identify and draw sometimes even or describe these parts that they feel are within themselves.

And they'll always say one of them is a free spirit.

Always.

One is just nurturing.

And then there's always this like different words are used by different people,

But they will say something like critical is another critical,

The one that's the critic.

And the job,

And I think this is what spiritual development is,

And even the word spiritual doesn't even make sense to me as much anymore these days.

But the work,

But the spiritual thing,

Spiritual to me now just means living and how we live,

Our mode of being.

The spiritual lesson is how do we bring those things together?

These voices,

How do they become one?

We are one.

We,

We,

We have a flesh body,

Flesh meat that we live in.

We have thinking,

We have all these different things,

But it's all one really.

So the journey is how do you bring them all into unity together as one?

And when you do,

That's when there is that confidence and clarity,

Because there's not a wall going on inside.

It's not inner fighting.

Confidence is like,

Yeah,

I'm this,

I'm going to do this,

I am this,

I'm going to do this.

It's when your thinking,

Your body and your actions are combined,

Aligned,

They're aligned.

And that's what confidence is.

Feeling great?

You know,

I go back to the dancer thing.

I go back to the dancer thing,

The dancers are making these moves in such a good way because they're in alignment.

They're in this flow,

Right?

They're in a flow.

They're not trying to be a confident dancer,

But they are exuding confidence.

It's coming through them,

It's their being.

They're not mentally saying,

Oh,

How do I make this?

Oh,

Yeah.

If they were thinking so much,

They wouldn't be as good as dancers.

They get in their head,

Right?

Everything's just in sync.

And this is the mode of operating through life.

That's what I think is possible for all humans.

And that's what confidence is in the end.

It's alignment.

It's tapping into all our resources.

So anyway,

I went on a bit of a ramble on that one.

Let me read them on the rest of the comments.

I hope that was useful though,

Because I heard it.

I not heard.

I saw a lot of hearts in the screen,

Like bubbling up.

So it seems like you guys are getting something from this.

Tell me what you're getting.

Tell me an insight.

Remember,

As soon as you catch an insight,

It's like you caught a fish.

Grab it.

Grab it.

Soon as something clicks,

Grab it.

As soon as you feel something when I say a word,

Grab it.

Savor that.

Because insights are what changes the way we see the world.

Grab it.

Slow down.

So more comments.

Let's see what else.

Feel free to keep sharing,

Guys.

I'm just going to go through these.

When I motivate myself,

That day I'm confident.

But the next day it goes low and I start hating myself.

How to maintain consistency.

Great question.

Consistency.

The thing is,

We are able to be consistent.

Because we grab our toothbrush each day.

So it's not like we cannot be consistent.

So that's the first thing I want to point out.

We have the ability to be consistent.

But when it comes to these inner states of being,

Confident states,

Passionate,

We have ups and downs.

It just happens naturally,

Right?

That's the one thing I want to point out.

But I never want anyone to use that as an excuse.

Ever.

Oh,

I'm just on a down.

Become a victim of your own self.

We do have natural downs.

So I'm saying it's true.

It's happening.

But I don't want that to be exploded by the mind into something more than it actually is.

So,

The lesson there,

And it might sound like I'm saying something that isn't right or wrong.

But that's how I work sometimes.

I'm telling you,

Yes,

We have ups and downs.

But don't latch onto that as an excuse.

Because,

Here's the because.

Because we have an ability to shift our state of being at any given moment.

If the next day you're feeling like you're hating yourself,

Your energy levels are low,

The hating yourself has been created by your mind.

So you're able to shift that.

If you got into it,

You can get out of it.

And you will you will find you woke up fine.

You woke up,

Your body woke up,

And then the thoughts occurred.

And then it became this problem.

So it was created so it can be uncreated.

How?

Judging and hating yourself.

What's that based off?

What are the facts?

What's the truth in that?

Where is that coming from?

Whose voice is that?

Is it true?

Is it true that because yesterday you were like in a peak state,

And today you're not,

That it means something?

Does it mean something?

Does it really?

So it's the meaning making that makes everything worse.

And if you really wanted to,

You can channel energy into yourself.

There's things like breath work,

Where you can flood energy into yourself.

If you really wanted to increase your energy levels,

You can.

But where I'm coming from with your comment is the judgment can be dropped.

That doesn't help.

It doesn't actually make sense.

It's a faulty statement.

It's faulty logic that we have,

All of us,

Right?

I'm not saying you,

All of us,

We have faulty logic to say yesterday versus today.

Means I'm a bad person.

In general,

I am a bad person.

And one is like today has not been a good day.

Okay,

Today has been bad.

Okay,

Today,

Maybe you could have done better today.

Maybe you did bad things.

But when it gets to that point where it cuts so deep and it says,

I am a terrible person.

I judge myself for this.

It's gone too far.

So catching that and here's the other thing.

Just reading your follow up comment,

Hating myself because I'm not able to achieve my target on time.

See,

That's great.

I think that's good feedback.

I think that's good feedback in a way,

Because now you realize,

Oh,

You're not going to meet your target on time if you don't put in the work.

So that could be good feedback,

Right?

If it's not debilitating,

If it's coming from a nurturing way,

Like,

Hey,

You know what?

If you don't do this work,

You're not going to meet your target.

That's not going to be nice,

Is it?

Well,

I want to meet my target.

What's the actual facts right now?

If I haven't done this much work,

What's the impact it's going to create?

Does this mean I'm not going to meet my target?

Is there any way I can recoup this?

So sometimes putting that hat on,

The strategic hat on rather than the emotions driving everything,

The emotional sting to everything,

Right?

Which distorts the truth from reality.

So that's another way to look at this stuff.

Like when you when you find yourself judging yourself,

Taking the emotions out of your the sting,

The distortions.

What's the truth?

Okay,

I'm going to move on,

Guys.

I want to get to some of your comments before we finish.

I hope that was helpful.

Was was that helpful in any way?

Tell me anyone.

Did that help you with your challenges?

Did that help you with your challenges?

Right.

What else?

Let me just say,

Sounds like me.

I've tried all different supplements.

Yes,

We should have a conversation at some point.

It sounds like we've got some similarities.

I feel that taking action is essential,

But not courageous enough.

I'll prove you wrong.

If I had a conversation with you,

I'd prove you wrong,

Because there's something you've done in your life which has been courageous.

I don't care if it's been recent or not.

There has been a time in your life.

And when I'm speaking to you,

I'm speaking to everyone here.

It's been to all of us.

There has been a time in your life where you have been courageous enough.

If you're saying I'm not courageous enough,

I'm still in lockdown mode.

OK,

I get it.

Like,

That's how you're feeling about it.

But you can create more courage.

Definitely.

I believe in you.

All of you.

I believe in all of you.

This was one of the hardest things for me to take action.

My life had been around thinking and concepts and ideas,

But I couldn't take any action.

It debilitated me.

It sent me into fight or flight,

Judging myself,

Worried.

Who am I?

Why can't I be like that guy?

But I've proven now over time that I can do it.

I'm not different.

And you can do it.

You're not different.

There's no fixed traits.

I don't believe that.

You can be courageous enough.

So that's my encouragement to you,

G.

Jill,

What can you be?

What action can you take?

And sometimes what I encourage people is,

What's the tiny action?

Maybe you have this big thing that feels overwhelming.

Yeah,

Forget about that.

Overwhelming.

If it's too overwhelming that you can't do it,

Why judge yourself about it?

Why don't you make it smaller now?

What's the tiny action you can take?

Because that builds momentum.

It builds momentum.

It builds confidence.

Like I said,

Confidence is a reward you can get from taking action.

I'm taking courageous action.

You get these nuggets of it.

That's my challenge to you and everyone here.

Any action you're thinking about right now.

It helped.

Tell me in the chat if that helped.

Anyone here?

Or G?

Okay,

Question.

How do you become a confident?

How do you become confident and try again something when you have failed before?

Ah,

When you failed before,

There's this memory and this collection of information in your head which says,

You've done this before.

It didn't work out.

So it's not going to work out again.

It's like a math equation.

That's how it works in our head.

It's a math equation.

It's a probability game.

It's like analysis of what's occurred before means it's going to happen again.

That's just how we work,

Right?

That's why we are so smart.

That's why we've adapted throughout our lives as humans for most of human history.

Because we've used information very well.

That prevented us from dying,

From being eaten.

Because we got good at stuff.

We got good at knowing and sensing things.

And we used information.

But here's the thing,

Failure is,

Even the word failure,

How do you define that?

Like what does it mean?

What have you learnt from that failure?

What is something that you've gotten from that failure?

That could allow it to be successful now.

So let's take an example.

Let's make this real.

Let's say you are dating.

Let's use dating as an example.

Everyone gets that.

Let's say you've been dating a certain type of guy or girl for a while.

And it just hasn't worked out.

So you deem this as a failure because they have certain traits.

They deem it as a failure.

It's not worked out.

How do you become confident in dating now after all of that mess?

Maybe it's me.

I'm the problem that starts occurring,

Right?

I'm the problem.

Well,

What can you take from the past as useful information?

Because this is the way I see it.

I only ever look at the past as a useful tool in the present.

I refuse to let the past bring me down in the present.

Because that doesn't make sense.

It cannot determine the present.

It will try to,

But it cannot.

I can use the past as information,

As a tool.

This is where higher levels of awareness of what you're doing with your thinking.

This is why it's so useful to be very aware of your thinking.

Because it's like now I know,

Okay,

My past is telling me I don't get along with this type of person in relationships.

And it's also telling me,

It's mixing in with the past traumas that I've had.

And it's saying,

Oh,

Something's wrong with you,

Raj.

You're not lovable and all that stuff comes up.

I only want to get the information that's useful.

Okay,

This type of person,

I just don't get along with.

This is what I know from the past.

So how about I try something different this time?

Or,

Here's a complete flip on what I was just saying.

Or,

I could go with this type of person again,

The same as before.

But I can look at it in a different way now.

I can be more open and not try and predict failures that are going to occur.

Because they're like the other person.

Because you remind me of that person.

So the whole thing I'm saying is,

Is your mind that's creating these ideas of you can't be confident in a situation.

It's using all this information.

It's not really real.

And you get to choose what to do with it.

It cannot choose for you.

So you become confident in situations where you've had failures just to answer your question.

You go and try.

You go and try.

And you don't let your mind limit what could be possible.

Because you'll never know until you try,

Until you're experiencing it.

Mentally projecting and analyzing it is like the world of imagination.

Real is real.

So that's what I'll say to you.

That's what I've got for you.

How does that feel?

Does that resonate with you?

Does that feel like you're in a situation where you're not in a situation where you're not in a situation where you're not in a situation where you see them?

Does that resonate with you or anyone?

Who was that?

Let me just check.

Melanie,

I think.

Just check in if you're getting anything from the session.

What are your insights?

Write them down if you want.

Do whatever you gotta do.

Everything is fast and in reaction mode,

Options become creative.

Oh actually shut down,

Ok.

Options shut down,

When you use modalities to slow,

Creativity can be nurtured.

Yes,

That's it.

The creative part of our brain.

Otherwise we're just stuck in thinking part of our brain.

And that's not useful for certain life situations.

It's great for solving math equations.

Really useful.

We need creativity as well to navigate through present moment life.

So slowing yourself down exactly.

Alright,

What else?

Let me move through these.

I don't see any more questions in the chat.

So here's how I'm going to end this session.

How do you find clarity and confidence?

Number one I said slow down.

Find ways to slow down.

Make it an active practice.

This is important.

This isn't about,

Hey I want to relax and just feel good and feel nice and warm.

That's a great bonus you get from this.

But slowing down I think is a tool for accessing a much higher intelligence inside of us.

Much cooler,

Calmer,

Confident.

Slowing down.

Just make it a practice like you brush your teeth.

Whatever you got to do.

Listen to one of my meditations if you want.

I've got tons of these.

Whoever else's meditations.

Do your own meditation.

Walk.

Do a walking style meditation.

And remember what I said at the beginning.

Meditation is a state of being,

A way of operating.

It's when you're really here.

So first thing.

Second thing,

Look at what are the thoughts inside the blocks,

The emotions,

The psychology that's creating your world.

That's creating all these thoughts of limitation.

That's blocking you from the natural flow of confidence.

Because we're all naturally confident.

It's not like one person is,

You know we say natural confidence.

We all have the ability to be naturally confident but it's just thinking that gets in the way.

So look at what thinking is in your way.

And it's all sorts of stuff from our past.

I had tons.

And then next,

Remember the past is great to use as a rear view mirror to create confidence in the present.

So many times I've paused people when they've said,

Ah well I can't do that.

I'll say well tell me a time where you have done something like that.

They'll struggle and they'll pretend.

Or not pretend but they just won't be able to find an example.

And then they will.

They'll be like ah there was this time where I was able to do this.

And their energy will start flowing.

And they'll realize ah the past experiences I can use as fuel to help me be confident right now.

So use the past as a tool rather than using,

Rather than the past owning you.

Only ever look back at the past consciously as a tool.

It creates confidence.

Next is courage.

Do things when you feel scared and you feel worried because that will build confidence.

You'll get confidence as a reward now.

Something you've never done before,

Of course you're going to feel scared and worried.

It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.

Sometimes it just means you haven't practiced enough.

If I was going to play a violin,

I don't have any confidence playing a violin.

Oh no something is wrong with me.

I've got to work on this inner story about why I can't play a violin.

Well I can just play a violin and just learn.

That's an option.

Sometimes it's simple like that.

I think it's a combination of all these things that have to be worked on together to build this state of being.

So that's all I've got for you today guys.

Tell me your one insight that you're taking away from this experience.

What are you taking away from the experience?

I'm not doing these things for fun,

I'm doing them so you guys can get something from it that you take away.

Not just hey it feels warm and fuzzy right now.

I'd love for you to keep on working on yourself.

Because then you can have everything you want.

You can have it rather than it feels warm and fuzzy right now.

You can create it.

That's what I want the next step to be.

Anyone I speak to about these topics.

It's like a door opens up.

When I run these sessions sometimes I get messages saying oh my god something just happened when I came to your session.

It's like a door opened up.

And that's great but I also want you to walk through the door.

To walk through the door I want you to put your reps in and build whatever you want inside.

Just like if you were building muscle.

Otherwise it remains this like door is there,

It's open but now what?

So I could carry on Steve forever.

I love to talk,

I love to teach,

I love to inspire.

But for now we're going to leave it as that.

I appreciate you,

All of you.

So takeaways.

Take a baby step towards your goal.

Yes baby step.

Tiniest step.

Nothing holds you back more than your own insecurities.

Great one Simon,

Thanks for contributing.

Refuse to let the past bring me down in the present exactly.

It's there,

It's happened but when you get acceptance of your past that in itself is a huge thing to work on.

But when you can get acceptance from your past it doesn't affect your future and your present.

It's beautiful.

I'm not saying it's easy,

I'm not saying hey click your fingers or say a boogeyman spell in the mirror and it appears and everything changes.

It's something to work on,

All this stuff is something to work on.

Great.

I learnt how my impatience is a block.

Yes.

And we sometimes react really quickly to things.

This micro moment of pause makes a big difference.

It's a whole different being comes out when there's a tiny pause between words,

Between actions,

Between everything.

There's no enemy within,

The enemy outside will do you no harm.

Exactly,

Exactly.

No one's to blame.

Okay,

Okay,

Some people might have done some terrible things in your past,

Sure.

Okay maybe you don't like that.

But it's you that has to deal with it now.

It's on you.

So work on the within.

Anything someone says to you is on you,

How you deal with that.

It doesn't mean anything.

It's like you're receiving it and it's being received through you.

They're not doing anything to you.

That's what I want to leave you with.

No one's doing anything to you.

It's your experience that's happening.

That was huge for me.

I had a lot of victim mode going on for my life.

Judgment,

Resentment against people.

So guys,

Thanks for sharing all of your insights.

There's been some really good ones there.

So like I said,

The door's opened.

If something's opened for you in this session,

Message me,

Find a way to contact me.

You can do this through here,

You can do this through other ways.

You can just find me.

There's my website withraj.

Com.

Go on there,

There's a way to contact me.

And it's like something opens and you have to start nurturing that thing.

If you want to build confidence,

If you want to free yourself from insecurities,

You have to start nurturing that.

Otherwise it will always remain this thing that you want to do,

That you kind of understand but it's not happening,

It's not changing.

And I had years and years of things not changing.

So it doesn't feel nice,

Right?

Something you want it but it's not changing.

So if you want,

Message me,

I'll send you a resource that could help you.

We can have a conversation,

Whatever.

That's my invitation to you.

You can tell my stomach's rumbling so it's probably time to go.

So that's my invitation to you guys.

Reach out,

Then you move on to the next stages of your development.

Even if it's just like I send you an article,

That could be enough to move you on.

That's my invitation.

Cool guys.

I've got a lot of stuff cooking up in the background to be aware of.

So if you look on my social media,

There'll be tons of things cooking up.

I'm going to start creating group programs for very small groups of people.

I'm going to do more events like here.

I'm going to be hosting all sorts of different things and be creating resources.

So stay tuned.

And if you want to be a part of any of those experiences,

Yeah,

We can talk about that too.

Cool guys.

It's time to go.

Stomach is calling.

It's a sign.

Signal.

End of the show.

Enjoy your day.

Have a lovely,

Insightful afternoon,

Morning,

Evening,

Wherever you are.

And I don't know when my next session is going to be.

Sometime early next week,

Perhaps.

So stay tuned.

Look out for that.

And if there's any requests,

Any topic that you'd love me to cover,

You can also ask me about that too.

Cool.

That's all guys.

See you later.

Have fun.

And slow down.

Slow down.

Ready?

.