Parenting Mindful Teens, DBT Wholistic Skills

Are you looking for a boost in your parenting skills? Not sure how to help your high school child navigate the emotional ups and downs of teenage life? In this deep and extensive discussion on the topic, James Goodlatte shares some of the best tips and tricks from his book, DBT Wholistic Skills Workbook For Teens.

Transcript

This is our Sacred Sunday Connection. My name is Pete. On Sundays, I like to get together with another either spiritual teacher, Somebody here on Inside Timer, Or good friends of mine who are doing amazing things that inspire me so much. Most recently, I've been reading James's recently published book along with my daughter. Give us the title of the book. DBT, Holistic Skills Workbook for Teens. DBT stands for Dialectic Behavioral Therapy. It's the way that I often explain to people is imagine that. . . See, Cognitive behavioral therapy is talk therapy. That's what people think of as psychology, Right? Going to a therapist. Yeah. Imagine that one of those therapists went to become a monk and spend her life doing a whole bunch of mindfulness stuff, And then was like, Why are we not using this in the Western world? Her name was Marsha Linehan, And 30 years ago, She began this movement of DBT. I would say recently, It's been more popularized because, Well, It works. It's scientifically proven in a number of formats to help people to improve all sorts of mental challenges, Anywhere from lack of presence to ADHD and depression and anxiety. It is a well-respected. . . DBT specifically is a well-respected phenomenon, And it just happens to be very centered around mindfulness. There's psychologists that are like DBT. Oh, Yeah. Is it certified? What is it? That's a good question. I'm a practitioner that has put this together with the help of the psychologists. In terms of there are DBT specialty, But I'm not a psychologist myself. I do not know if it's a unique licensure in a different way. I do know that there are specialty DBT psychologists all over, And they absolutely love books like this for giving to their patients they're working with. Then, Of course, Parents who are looking for ways to give their teens the things that we don't learn in school. That's what I've loved so much. Full disclosure, You gave me an early access to the book to start reading in preparation for a review. The book just came out three weeks ago, Two weeks ago? Yeah. It was three weeks ago, And we're still doing what is known as launch. It's my first launch ever, So I'm making some of this up as I go, Figuring it out, Right? Doing some experimental things like coming on with me. I love it. So I started reading the book with the intention to give you a review to help support, But as I read it and I wanted the full experience, I was reading it to my 14-year-old daughter, And it became this really awesome ritual. She would ask me, Are we going to do our workbook tonight? Because it was really, Really fun. You put it together in this way that's like we were on an adventure. Every term was like we're getting tools for our toolbox. We're fixing our compass, Figuring out how to read the math of our emotions. It's so cool. So we're still reading it. I think the last couple of days we've taken a bit of a break because I've been crazy busy with my own launch of a video game. It's quite long. It's an extensive book. You cover so many topics. Give us a rundown of what everything you cover in it. I'll tell you that I live for that. The reviews that are coming in, We have plenty of therapists saying how much that this book is working for them, Right? And we have plenty of parents who are saying these things that are similar, Like, Oh my gosh, One of my favorite reviews says something to the effect of, I picked this up not thinking much of it, But it blew my mind. It's exactly what you said. It's really put together well for teens. What I did is I kind of studied what was out there and I went to make one that was going to be the one, The best one. And the feedback that's coming back from various professionals and parents is showing that that's the case. So yeah, It's amazing. There are six adventures. The first one is mindfulness. I would suspect that people on this channel who are coming to you and Insight have a pretty good idea of mindfulness and meditation, But what we try to do is we break it down. And one little piece of that, You tell me how long or short you want these explanations to be, But one little piece of that, Peter, Is just that beautiful knowledge from Dr. Dispenza, Who says that each time you catch yourself is a victory. I think that that is so important for really anyone learning to meditate and deal with the craziness of our minds that are just like this nonstop. And so just simple reminders like that throughout it. And so that's adventure number one is about mindfulness, Right? DBT has four skills, By the way. And so the first four adventures are those skills. So the second one is for official skills that are research, Again, The research proven ones and stuff like that. The second one is emotional regulation. And so one of my favorite things in that chapter, Personally, Is the emotional guidance scale, Where we teach people how sometimes if you're very sad, To go and expect yourself to go be happy actually keeps you revolving in sadness. And so the scale, The ladder is to walk just one rung up. So maybe sadness has to turn into anger. And it doesn't mean that you go and you take the anger out, Right, On somebody else. It just means that you acknowledge it, You stop suppressing it. Huge, Huge and important emotional things that, Again, We're not really taught that in school. We are living in an emotional dark ages very, Very, Very much, Most of modern society, Where we don't know how to acknowledge these things. And so that's one of my favorite ideas in the emotional regulation chapter is just really getting in touch with your emotions. What are the sensations underneath your emotions? The third one is stress tolerance. So that's when it gets really bad and you're in a terrible, Terrible place. And this is where, Of course, Some of the therapy is done on people with real challenges in their, Real mental challenges in their life, The depression, The anxiety that's happening. And there's a couple of things in there that I really appreciate. Some that are. . . I'm a wellness and health professional by trade. And so in one minute, You can change your hormones and your chemistry by doing a few different things. Rapid breathing is one of them. This is our SOS. One of my favorite. I love it. Another one is if we all stood up right now and did a minute of jump squats or something like that, That was within your capacity, You'd be so out of breath, It would shake you up. It would pattern interrupt whatever's going on. That's another one. And then the third one, The SOS within there is a cold shower. And again, Not exactly comfortable, But enough to kind of pattern interrupt. And so just what we do is we encourage the teens to try this for yourself and see which one works better depending on where you're at. And that's a really key point too, Is that we need the teen to feel empowered for him or herself, To learn him or herself, Not to be told, Oh, I shouldn't do that. And that's woven through the entire book very, Very, Very adamantly. Another thing inside the stress tolerance is just the idea of radical acceptance, Which perhaps many of the people on this call will also know. I don't know if you got to that section yet, But one of my favorite stories, If you want, I could tell it later, But it's about the wise man. And something bad happens and he's like, Well, Maybe it's bad. And then something good happens and he's like, Well, Maybe that's good. Maybe that's a blessing, Like you say, Right? Back and forth. And each time you see that the thing that was a challenge that was bad actually turned into something good. And then the thing that you thought was good actually turned into something bad later. And so isn't that sometimes the world- Which then leads to something good? Yeah, Exactly. The world is so often like that, That if you can choose to believe that, If you can choose to say, Huh, There is some truth to that. That's interesting. It can really allow us to let go of really challenging, Gripping emotions at those times. And so the fourth skill then in the DBT world is relationships communication. And so what we do very succinctly in there is just kind of remind people that sometimes it's better instead of jumping in to tell them what they should do to fix it, Which skirts over on over all of the emotional connection and empathy that can happen. One of the best things you can do, We literally tell them phrases you can say, Try this out, See how it feels for you. And one of those phrases is, For example, Like, Oh, What I hear you saying is, And sort of capturing it. Something as simple as that. Now, All of us on this call, That makes sense. We know that. But not all of us had that as kids. Not all of us have that as adults, Quite frankly, The instinct to do that, Especially when it's an important conversation for you and you have an opinion about it. But just breaking down little things like that and saying, Well, Step back for a moment, Pause, Breathe, And then connect with the person first. And if you do that, Watch how we actually have a chart. We lead the teens through a process in that fourth section, That fourth adventure, Where we lead them through a process that ultimately ends up in a little chart that it's like, Okay, Here's what I'd like to ask my parents or my teacher or some important person who kind of holds the keys to this thing that I want. Let me sort of plan out what I'm going to say here. And it's not for lying. It's not for, Of course, It's for actually empathizing with their point of view. What are my parents actually afraid of? Why would they not want this for me? Let me understand that so that we can then have good communication. So, Those are the four DBT skills. The fifth adventure is sort of like- Before you go on to those next three, Is it all right? Let's take a break and read through some of our comments coming in. Oh, Definitely. And then we'll finish off the next one. Yeah. Please do lead. And if I haven't said this before, I can talk forever about this and I'm happy to do it, But please, You need to take control of the timing. Slow down, Okay? So, Kurz got some lovely comments to begin with. Love DBT. And not surprising, It's derived from stoicism and Taoism. First exposure to DBT, I kind of stumbled upon it. Radical acceptance. Yeah. Yeah. So, Someone said, What is DBT? ZKB says, What does DBT stand for? It's Dialectic Behavioral Therapy. I didn't actually identify it. It has one main concept. It's the interconnection between acceptance and change. Think about when something challenging happens. When something challenging is in your life, There are two main primary responses. One is- Right. And they seem like it's a seesaw, Like it's one or the other. That's right. And so, What I helped to do in this workbook also for teens is to help them to identify which one, Acceptance or change, Do they tend to fall too far on and they're out of balance. And I can go into detail on that if you want. It's a very important DBT point to understand for sure, But keep going through the lesson as you wish for now. To the comments. And we've got Sam saying, Just came in, Sounds really interesting. I have a 15 going on 16-year-old and really trying to navigate and direct health. And then, Yeah, Just a reminder of what the book is called. It's DBT Holistic Skills Workbook for Teens. My name is James Good Latte. And good latte spelled kind of like you think in the coffee shop. I love it. DBT Holistic Skills Workbook for Teens. So, I think Kerr was saying to go into it. I suppose I'll finish that thought, Peter, If it's okay with you of that intersection by saying that in the workbook, We talk about the spiritual ideal versus the human reality, Which is this concept. And so many of us hold ourselves to a spiritual ideal, That spiritual ideal being, Oh, I shouldn't feel this way. I should just feel okay with it. I shouldn't let life bother me. And that's okay to some extent. It's actually wonderful to some extent because you're taking responsibility. Let me see if I can move myself through this. That's sort of that place of acceptance. Can I just come to accept it? But there's a downside to that. There's a challenging side. The challenging side is that there are really things that we are human beings and we can't get through on our own in that way. We're just not ready for, We haven't processed, We don't know how to. And if we keep holding ourselves to that standard, That spiritual ideal, Then we unfortunately can keep ourselves stuck in that continuation of sadness over and over of, Why can't I feel better? Why can't I get there? So, You can see that one side of the seesaw, As you said, Can be too much. So, Then the other side is the human reality. The human reality is, Well, I could just really use a hug right now. And maybe I should ask for help from a parent or a therapist or something like this, Or things like that. It's really just asking for help. Where can I make change? Where can I make an actual change? Maybe I need to chat with my parents about changing schools or, I don't know, Whatever it is that might be stuff that we do obviously have control over. Maybe I should start a meditation practice. So, That's the other side of it. But some of us, The downside to that is that some of us are so trying to fix, Fix, Fix, Fix, Fix, Fix all the time. And to some of this, It's blame too. Some of those personalities will go into like, Oh, How come this person, That person didn't do this or that? There can be a blame of life that happens in that scenario if you're too stuck in that side of the seesaw. And so, If you find yourself there, Then it's worth considering where can I accept? Where can I let go a little bit and go back to the other seesaw? All right, Back to you, Peter. And Kerr has radically accepted his dental crisis. I'm at a toothache. I love it. Amazing. It's so good to see you again, ZKB on this morning with the yoga. It's fun to have you back on. Suma Star just says, Hi, I just joined a topic I've been looking for. Yes. Awesome. Is this being taped? It is. So, If you're all right with it, James, I'll post this as well as a free track for people to come back and listen to over and over again. And then James is going to have the video recording and can share that on his socials or whatever. I'll show a picture of it here. This is a sample copy, But it's on Amazon right now. And if any of you are there and want to actually get it, It's free as an ebook right now. Oh, Yeah. Today is the same. Which is why we decided to do this Saturday instead of Sunday. So, Today it happens to be free in Eastern time till 11. 59 PM. You go to your regional Amazon, Which in the US is amazon. Com, Of course. And then you just search for the title of the book, DBT. Hold that book up one more time. Something that I really love about it is all of the artwork in the book is so. . . It's playful and it's so appealing to things. The whole thing is just so well-crafted. It's fun. It's in a voice that's not off-putting. You're never talking down. It's always like an adventure and it's inspiring. It's not too childish. Oh, It's amazing. Sam says, I'll let you. Our children need to learn this in school. It's so important. How can you learn if you are mentally well? Yes, Exactly. ZKB asks, Do you offer sessions for parents or teens? I'm assuming, ZKB, These are one-on-one sessions that you're thinking. Yeah. I would refer you to a therapist. This is what I offer is in the fitness realm, And we haven't gotten to exactly talking about that version just yet. We have three more to go of the topics in the book? Well, Two more adventures. There's six adventures. The first four are centered on DBT specifically. I would love to hear one of those last two. Also, Perhaps it's worth putting in there if anyone wants to just ask questions, Is that it's exerciseandmeditation. Com backslash DBT is where you can not only get more information out of the book, But I'd be happy to just send you in directions if you're looking for someone to help practice this with you or something like that. It's exerciseandmeditation. Com, And then you can put a backslash DBT on there if you want to go straight to the DBT page. I would put that in the chat, But we're not allowed to share websites. Oh, You're not. Okay. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Am I allowed to speak in or? Nope. You're fine. That's okay. That's part of why we're here. Yeah. Okay. Got it. Got it. I'm sorry. Do you want me to go through adventure five and six then? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. If the first four are the DBT official skills, The fifth adventure is what we call strengthen your physical body, Essentially. That's where we go to exercise more formally, And we help the teens to identify what version of exercise will work for them and just make it doable. If you're not familiar with exercise, Don't play sports, Then just try out one minute. You know, Just do one minute of this today or go on a YouTube where YouTube offers free exercise. We just try to encourage that, And we talk about why that's critically important for not only your body, But for your mind. The same exact thing goes for nutrition and for sleep. In nutrition, For example, We have a section here where. . . I'll see if it comes up quickly, But yeah, Look at that right there. What this is is the comparison of this pretend product called broccoli snacks and then actual broccoli. Then what we just do is we talk about how broccoli snacks look like they're healthy. They have all these things like, Oh, We source our foods from premium ingredients, Natural, And everything that's on labels. We basically teach you that in one small page, Be careful because that's marketing, And that's actually not as nutritious as actual broccoli. We also have places there for the teens to just answer simple yes and no, Like, Hey, Do I have these symptoms? Acne, For example. If they answer yes or whatever to a lot of the symptoms, Then consider adjusting your diet. These can be food-related things. Many of them never have thought about this, Right? You have gas every day. Like I did when I was a teenager. I didn't realize that my intolerances are what kept me sort of uncomfortable all school long, Practically every day, Holding gas in because I don't want to pass gas in the middle of high school class, But I'm just eating crisps. These sorts of things are in the book. Sleep, Again, It's not very long. It's just a reminder of. . . Then tech is the other one. I'll sort of summarize that fifth adventure just by saying that what we do is we make sure that the teens understand very clearly that we have a genetic capacity for handling certain types of stressors. Basically, If we don't exercise today, Then we used to exercise in the last tens of thousands of years. Exercise was a regular thing, So we've evolved to need exercise. Just like unprocessed food, We've evolved actually to need that. Just like sleep, We've evolved actually to go to bed when the sun goes down, But today what we do is we turn the lights on. What does that do to your hormones and your chemistry? How does that then set you up to then be tired and reaching for sugar the next day, Even if you sleep eight hours or something like this? Just these little bits all together, And then tech. It's the same thing. We have a lot of tech. Tech is very good. We're on tech right now. It's useful, And it can be too much. How do I identify when it's too much for you? How do I identify when you're getting those dopamine surges, Which is it's a legit issue actually right now that people are addicted to likes. Just helping the teens to identify for themselves like, Okay, Where is it helping me feel good, And where is it helping me not actually ultimately feel good? That's a super important and kind of a big adventure there. The sixth adventure, Peter and everyone, Is actually a very small recap that encourages the teens to re-identify because everyone really learns in layers. We want you to just re-identify which things of the first five adventures have actually worked for you. We have you rank them in a five star ranking. If you remember it working for you well, That's a five star. If you remember it being like, Oh, That was terrible. I don't have access to do that in my life, So that's a zero stars or whatever. Then we just give them a calendar to help them actually plan something so that they can take an action towards something they want. Now, That's a brief overview of some of my favorite pieces, But that is the book in a nutshell. We've got some more comments. Teresa says, Have a 15-year-old going on 16. There's a great, Great need for this. Just specifying, What age range would you say that the book is targeting? Well, It's meant to be like 11 to 19. It's the entire pre-teen and teen range. But I mean, Honestly, I've heard people already using it with ones younger than that. I have had a ton of reviews have come in saying, This is good for me as an adult as well. I would say though that when I say the teens, There are some images, For example, In here that are really cartoony and cool, Captivating for a younger audience, Even less than 10, Let's say. But then there's older teens where you can see they almost look like maybe they're even in university because a lot of teens are looking up to where they're going. It really does span a lot. We'll see as time goes if it slants toward one particular age group or another, But it was designed to be encompassing for all teens, For sure, All of those age groups. Really an amazing job. Like you said, I'm learning. I love it, Enjoy it. My 11-year-old daughter listens in and she loves it and is learning. I'll have to see if I can get my nine-year-old son, Who's a little clone of me, To listen because it would be really fantastic for him to learn some of these skills. I love this discussion going on. Thank you guys for helping each other out, Finding it on Amazon and understanding how it is free currently until midnight, So you can pick it up. I encourage you, If you're having a good time with it, To leave a review. At this stage of marketing, Would you say that's the most important thing that would help you? Oh, Yeah, For sure. It's like the algorithm gods are out there and it helps when. . . Honestly, Every single person who's here, If you want to just help me, Even if DBT isn't something you think you want to use, If you just went to Amazon and bought it for free. . . Yes, It's an e-book. That's why it's for free. There's no print cost or anything like that. Amazon allows us to do these promotions, Just a few of them, Like a handful. This is a third of five of them that we'll do. If you went and just bought it for free, Amazon starts to take note of that. Like, Oh, Okay, People are enjoying that. That would be a direct help. Then yes, In the future, After going through it, You were willing to leave a review. That's the most critical factor for new authors or really for any book on the market. I'm thankful we're up to 68 reviews right now just in the last few weeks, Which, Yeah, It's actually considered quite successful. We've hit the number one release spot a couple times. It's working out. It's definitely going well, But that sweet spot is somewhere between 100 and 200 reviews. There's still work to do. I'm deeply appreciative to everyone who is willing to help out in that way. Thank you, And of course, Yourself, Too. Kerr has a question. He said it's an important question. Have you begun developing DBT for people who are autistic, Neurodivergent teens, Have a dire need for coping mechanisms? Is that something that you explore at all or are thinking of exploring? Yeah, It's not explored specifically in this workbook. Honestly, I'll show you, If you look at the subtitle to it, You'll see specifically that what we've done is we've put the keywords for what DBT is actually scientifically proven to help. You'll see autistic is not on there right now. It doesn't mean it's not helpful. It just means that it hasn't been verified, If you will, In that way. These things here are what people are searching and using, Therapists are using DBT for. There's a few more out there as well, But if you look through them, I think that's anxiety, Depression, Anger, Management, ADHD. BPD is borderline personality disorder, So it can get into some things that are interesting. Then, Obviously, Building healthy, Happy relationships. Interestingly, The aspects that I've put on through my own expertise in the wellness world of exercise and nutrition, Those are all validated, Scientifically proven as well. Sleep for helping people to regulate teens as well, Specifically to regulate their emotions. All of it is very science-backed for sure, But the spin that's different in this holistic one is really it goes beyond just the DBT mental cognitive skills and uses a lot more of the exercise, Nutrition, And sleep stuff. I hope that answers your question. Thank you, Kerr. Perfect. What we've got, I'm just going to throw a couple more of these comments. Then, Since I have the author and I get to ask you any questions that I want, I want to get into your background, The story leading up to the writing the book, And your experience of writing the book. People looking for confirmation, You don't need to have Amazon Unlimited or Kindle Unlimited. It might be that you have it on the paperback and maybe switch it to being viewing well. When you go to Amazon, You'll see there's e-book, Paperback, And hardcover. When you click on e-book, The e-book section, There's actually two options. One of them is called Kindle Unlimited, Which honestly, I've never used myself. I don't know 100% right now how that works. I just know that it's, I believe it is a membership and they give it to you for free right now. Then, I believe the membership would just have to be, I don't know, Paid for later or something. That's actually not the free. That's always free to start with. Every day of the week, You can go there and do that. The thing that's actually free today is where it says, Or buy now for $0. It says right there, I think it says $0 to buy. Then, The truth is I haven't bought that. I don't know what's going to happen when you click to buy that one, But I know that some people are choosing to do Unlimited and others are choosing to just buy it and have it and it's done with at that point. Either way, You're going to have to, Of course, Bring it up on some sort of a player, Which I think those are free to get. Does that answer the question? I hope so. Yeah. It looks like Teresa got it figured out. Some people are having trouble because they can't find how to get in. That's right. You cannot go to the app to search for it. I'm sorry. Yeah. There's so many Amazon rules that I don't know them all. That is one that has just recently popped out as being the. . . I verified that as the case. It does not. . . Yes. You can't go to the app to do it. You have to go to a browser in order to buy it for free as an ebook right now. Kurt says, Absolutely, Man. Diet, Exercise, And sleep are all things every living being requires to survive. It's ironic how we need studies to verify something so fundamental. Yeah. It's good. It's good to have that assigned the meaning by having it verified or whatever. It's all about building it up as true and being able to confirm to yourself. Do you need a lot of other people to say this? All right. I want to get into asking James, Who are you? Where did you grow up? You have kids, Obviously, Because I'm assuming that that leads to part of your desire. You are into fitness. What are all of your passions and what led you up to writing this book? Wow. That's a big one. I'll try to keep it the short version and then just let you ask more questions later instead of hogging the rest of the time. My story is when I was in eighth grade, I ordered a scientific journal on strength training because I wanted to lift weights and I liked this girl and whatever. That is where my entire wellness career began. Yeah, I know you didn't know that, Did you? The reason why I would say my career began there is because then I went to high school. Before you know it, It's like I knew what I was doing in the gym and people were asking me for help. My career literally did start in high school, Just unofficially. I then just helped people as a personal trainer through college and it just kept growing from there. I had some fortunate things where I became a master instructor very quickly, Within the first year and a half of having a four-month- Now, What does that mean? A master instructor of four personal trainers coming in. I began teaching the trainers, The new hires, Basically. There I was, 23 years old, And I'm now the educator inside of this nice national- Educator of educators. That's right. That's right. Yeah. I really loved it. I didn't ever want to be asked a question that at that point, That I could not answer. It really made me go find the answers to things. I also, If you want to know my psychology inside is, I was raised in an environment where I adopted a leaser where I don't want people to disapprove of me. We're on a psychology- I'm sure there's so many of us can relate to that. Yeah. Yeah. Because of that, That's a pro and a con, Right? The pro is that I make sure to do a really good job in my presentations because guess what? I don't want people to leave a bad review, For example, Right? I'm going to do what it takes, Right? That's how my career as an educator in fitness came around. Of course, I apply it now to this book. The downside to that, If anyone's sort of curious as to what could be the downside to that, Is that if someone ever did leave a bad review, It could literally crush the living, Send me into a depression, If you will. Now, I've come a long way. I'm thankful to say that I'm, Well, Honestly, I'm human. I'm still dealing with things like that, Quite frankly, And I love me for all the things I am, But that's a bit of psychology truth, If you will, Like you're asking who I am, Right? And it's with our DBT sort of philosophy. I got better this last year. I'm skipping forward just a second, But this last year of taking the time to research and put this book together with my team and the psychologist who I got to help write some of the DBT actual activities and things like this has been wonderful for me. I'm a self-development junkie. And what that means is I spent several years immersed in Tony Robbins, Immersed in landmark education, Immersed in then Dispenza. I am about self development. I'm about how to be the best version of myself. So to back up just a moment though, Is that my first sort of real big, I'd say, Company outside of personal training and being a master instructor that used my talents was actually getfitforbirth. Com. It still is, Actually. That is an education company for professionals who are birthing professionals and fitness professionals who want to learn how to train pregnant people and postpartum people. And how that started was basically that here I am, This wellness guy, A holistic nut type of person eating organic and all that stuff back in 2008, 2007. And my wife and I at the time, We find out we're going to have a baby. And so everything, It's like a snap happened and everything was like, Wait, How do we have the healthiest baby possible? And the next thing I know is that the information I was putting out there was picked up by an audience that really wanted it. And a few years later, We have thousands of instructors in 52 countries who are certified by Fit for Birth, My original sort of company. And so this is where I honed a lot of my education and my research and how to put things together for an audience that was a demanding audience. These are pre-approved credits for professionals, Right? So I would say then to sort of dovetail into DBT is, Yeah, Well, That was 2008 when I had my first kid and he's 15 now. And then I have an 11-year-old and a 12-year-old and I have teens now. And so it just kind of makes sense to me that, Well, Duh, My focus is moving in that direction. And so this was very much not only for them though, This was really for me also, That not only was it directly helpful for me to have that next layer of self-development and learning as I learned about DBT. But obviously, I really pride myself on wanting to have done the best job. And I do believe that this is the best book in this genre right now amongst the various workbooks that are out there. I know that it's the best one. It's just a matter now of time for enough reviews and people to see that, Oh, Wow, This one is totally worth it. Really, Really, Really, Really great. Now, I'll pause there and say, Have I answered what you were asking to get into there? That, Yeah, That was beautiful. Oh, Really fun. And I just get lost in listening to you. I could just listen to your stories all day. Thanks, Man. Kerr says, That's good, James. Always remember that the real experts in self-development are only those who have gone through the woes, A Boy Scout patch, If you will. I like that. At least that's how Kerr sees it. I got it, Kerr. Now, So you took about a year or a little over a year from when you decided to write the book and then writing the book and then creating your marketing plan. How long has it been? Yeah, It was like I joined a company to help me learn how to self-publish a year and a half ago in that summer. And so I started, This is what we're in February now of 2024. I started January of 2023. It was almost dead on a year where I actually then sat down and said, Okay, I've gotten the other things out of the way. Now it's time to focus. And that's where I, As I've been taught, I mean, If you really want to understand the publishing journey, There's a few things that you have to have in order to have a successful book. The very first thing is you have to have a topic that people are looking for already. And so the very first step is to understand proof of concept. And as an entrepreneur, I've spent a lot of time developing and a lot of money and a lot of resources trying to develop programs that some of which didn't sell, Some of which didn't have an audience. They were cool. They were my passion projects. But in my first project, The pre and postnatal corrective exercise specialist, It took off like wildfire. But many of the ones after that just didn't work. And so as someone who's trying to understand how to make life work and things like this, Just on a general level in marketing, This was very intriguing for me to understand, Okay, There's a way for me to find out what people are actually into. Let me learn that. And so that was the first thing. And that's where DBT actually came up as a possibility. I was working with a coach at the time and she knew what my strengths were. And so we went through a number of different concepts and possibilities, But that is where DBT came from. And so then the next step is, If there's like four steps in publishing and to get people in on the nitty gritty details of it, Is that one of the next things that's important is to actually have a professional looking cover. And so to learn how to do that together is its own thing. I actually ran a poll and had dozens and dozens of people sending feedback on it. And so this is actually a voted upon cover after going through so many different ones. And sort of basically like AB, Like which one, Not quite AB testing, But what is most appealing to you, My target audience? Yeah. Yeah. I tried to ask a bunch of parents and teens quite frankly. So that's who chimed in on it. Honestly, There were dozens and dozens of specialty designers who were in a contest and there would only be one winner to the contest. There's actually entire platforms set up to see how that would run. So one person then wins the contest and that's how it goes. I want to rewind you back to the last part of reading. So finding something that people are already interested in and creating a product around that. Now there's a danger there, That can come across as, Oh, Soul sucking or inauthentic, Just creating the thing that the market wants. But how do you do that and infuse it with your passion? Because you did that beautifully with this book. Well, It's really an option. I'm going to be honest and tell you that most, My name is James Goodlatte, As you know. But do you know that 60% of authors on Amazon are, The person who writes the book is actually not that person. And that it's in like, Now it's an AI image or it was just a false image before or paid for image. 60%, That was very, Very interesting for me to hear. And I'll tell you, I've always prided myself on integrity. People know me as having very high integrity. And this was very weird for me to bump up against actually is to, What did I want to do? I was advised by the coaching company, The way that they coach is, And this is a huge coaching company, 22, 000 people around the world learning how to self-publish. It's been a lot of hard work by the way. But what this company suggests is to do a pen name. They don't want you to get too involved with it. They want you to be able to stand at a distance and be the CEO, An entrepreneur, If you will. Now, In this case, That was an option for me. And I thought about it or whatever. And the long story short is that didn't fit me for this particular time in this particular way. This was dear to my heart. This was something that I live and breathe as a self-development person, As someone who is not only a coach for people at this point, But a coach of professionals and someone who helps people to overcome. One of the courses that I run right now is a business course for professionals, Fitness professionals. And you know what I spend all my time doing there is helping them overcome their own mental challenges with how to move forward. There's a rule in some of the coaching that I've had done for myself in the past that the company is only as good as the mind of the CEO of the person in charge. And that doesn't necessarily mean the smarts or the knowledge. So much of it is just their tenacity and their vision. No. Yeah. And even that is our fancier words than needed. So much of it is just how they feel today. Yeah. How do you feel that day? Because that's what determines whether the stuff you're doing is going to work out or not. In the workbook here, We have the parable of the two shoe salesman. Did you remember this one? Should I say it? Yeah. I'm just barely getting into the emotional chapter. Okay. Well, The two shoe salesman, It's a little short snippet really about how there's no shoes being sold on the mainland. So the boss sends the two salespeople to the island to see if they can sell shoes. And the first one goes to the island, Looks around and sees nobody's wearing shoes. So comes back with his head hung and says to the boss, You're not going to believe this, Nobody's wearing shoes. Meanwhile, The other one goes out to the island, Looks around, Sees that no one's wearing shoes, Comes back to the boss, Blows open the door and says, You're not going to believe this, Nobody's wearing shoes. Nobody's wearing shoes. The exact same word, But a completely different definition of what it means and what to do with it. Yes. I love stories like that. I love that I put that in this book because I have loved this story. I have told my kids this story. They know the two shoe salesman. And it is my honor to put it together here and to have other people have that little paragraph. I love, By the way, If you like that one, You will absolutely love the wise man story. It's a little bit longer. Yeah. Let's take a break and read through a couple of comments and then I want to hear the next pieces of publishing you began. All right. So Kerr says, We don't have to answer, But here's a tangential philosophical question. Would you rather learn basketball from Michael Jordan or his coach? This is a question for me. Yeah. Oh, Wow. Oh, That's a good question. Well, I would have to say Michael Jordan, Not Michael Jordan's coach. By the way, The gym that I used to work at in DC, Michael Jordan has actually walked past me and said, Hello, James, Looking at my name tag. That's awesome. I tell you, I was in awe meeting him. Yeah. He has such a great energy, That man. So, For my own personal reasons, I'm going to say hello to Michael again. Super cool. And Superstar, I'm sorry if I missed you, Superstar, But thanks for spending some time with us. I will be posting this as a free podcast lecture available here on Insight Timer. I'll try and get that out early next week. Shannon says, Kerr, My ASD son is huge into basketball. I'm going to ask him. Super fun. Let us know what he says. Cool. All right. So, We're getting into some basketball questions. And so, Shannon said, He's almost 6'3", But his goal is to join the NBA. But he eats horrible and doesn't perform to his full potential. So, But always, Every moment is that opportunity to shift course just a little bit. And it's those moments of making those tiny decisions makes a huge difference. Kerr responds to that, Shannon, That might be true, But personally, As an MD, We probably eat terrible because autistic individuals cannot eat poorly due to taste and sensory challenge. Commonly eat poorly due to taste and sensory challenge. Ah, Yes. So, Getting back into it, We were discussing that that person getting back into it, We were discussing that publishing what you learn from the publishers. And we were just talking about the cover. And you had gone through the company to pick a designer with the most appealing cover. Yeah. So, Again, For those of you who are interested in the story of publishing, The next piece, If you will, The third of the four big pieces of publishing is that you have to have a good book. See, If you have a good cover and you have the right 10 book words, There's like, What's thought about in the realm is that, Yeah, It could have a surge, But then it will not do well. The reviews won't be there. People won't want to repeat, You know, They won't spread it. Now, I'm thankful and again honored to say that we have dozens of therapists already referring these to people in their clinics. The reviews coming in from therapists are amazing. I know this book is working. Not only that, I know, You know, Like when I looked at the other books out there, They're a little bit kind of dry. They're very like therapy-esque, You know. And so, What I wanted to do with this one is to make sure that it was a little bit fun. And honestly, I think it's a strength, Right? I think there's pros and cons to all sorts of things out there, But I look at this as a strength that I had a DBT specialty psychologist help to write the activities because I'm not a therapist. I don't work with teens in that way specifically. So, I worked with a team of people to put this together. And so, My main writer for this created the basic activities inside of DBT. And what I did with that is I then expanded them and I also changed the wording quite a bit. So, You know, In the end, In this world where so much of this is, You know, 60% of Amazon is written by people and you don't really know them. No, Mine is very much, Mine is 95% my words and then, You know, Activities with others. And I don't know if that's right or wrong. It's just, You know, If you like me, It's my book. This is my book in there. So, If you're enjoying what I'm saying, I've certainly tried to make it approachable and fun in those ways. And I think that is a real strength. And I am, At this point, Three weeks in, I am 100% convinced that it is a really great book. The people who have given feedback are just saying, Whoa, This actually was really, You know, This was unexpected even, You know, Unexpectedly really great. So, That's the third part is that it has to be a good book. And I'm happy to answer other questions about that, But I'll jump to the fourth part by saying that fourth part is where we are now is reviews. In order for any book, You know, You can have the best book in the world. And this is actually one of the reasons why there are so many writers out there doing ghost writing, Believe it or not, Is because they don't know how to do marketing. And I can't say that I know how to do marketing very well, But we're working on it. We're figuring it out. Marketing is this crazy thing that sometimes I wonder, Hmm, Instead of kinesiology school, Maybe I should have gone to school, You know, University. Maybe I should have gone for marketing, Right? That's kind of the joke amongst it, That no matter where you are, You need marketing, Right? So, That's it. That's why right now what's most needed for this book is for people to go and buy it for free today. If you do enjoy it and you recommend it to others down the road, That's certainly helpful. And then if you are willing to put a note in your calendar and come back and leave a review, That is critical, Really critical. So, As I said earlier, We're at about 68 or 69 maybe now. And there's somewhere between 100 and 200 is the Amazon algorithm where you can kind of start to trust that it will still keep being shown. Because otherwise it's kind of like, You know how they say it, Like Facebook, But you don't have a lot of control there. It's the algorithm that does it. But it makes sense. There's validity to this. You have to have reviews. And an author like me, I'm not a celebrity. And so, If I were Michael Jordan writing a book, Well, He would have thousands and thousands of reviews on day number one. And so, This is obviously competing in a totally different realm. And so, It needs help. It needs help from reviews. Does that answer your question or where else would you like to go in this journey of publishing? I want to go a little bit more into it. So, You know this, James, That I wrote my own book. It's in the fiction genre. It's a young adult. And so, I went through kind of a journey of writing it, Trying to create the best product that I could, The best story, And trying to go through those things. And so, For me, I'm really interested in your writing and development journey and maybe switching gears just a little bit. It's like, You know, ChatGTP started off. . . When you started writing the book, That's when ChatGPT really exploded. That's right. What's your experience been? And maybe what have you observed in the publishing world of people using AI and such? Yeah. Well, I don't know if I know the trend right. Well, Okay. I know enough of the trend. Yes, People are using ChatGPT for everything. And so, There is a trend for moving in that direction. And 100%, From what I can understand, It looks like there will come a time when ChatGPT will be doing books and we'll just. . . AI will be doing our books, Right? Right now, Here's what I can tell you as a professional researcher. I use ChatGPT. I have a membership to it. And what I do is. . . What I have found out is this. It's pretty extraordinarily wrong when it comes to research. It does not know how to be accurate in that way. It's sometimes, Believe it or not, I caught it. I'm like, You know, I know what's actually right in this realm. Let me check to see. Are you sure? And then it would actually come back and be like, Nah, That. . . Oh, You're right. I'm sorry. I made a mistake. Literally saying, You know, Sorry, I captured that wrong. So, Those are very weird for me. I'll tell you that I use ChatGPT mostly for marketing. So, For example, What I did is if I take my book and I ask, Hey, ChatGPT, Can you use my book and write me a one-paragraph synopsis that encourages people to know what's inside the book? ChatGPT does a pretty good job of that. And then I just have to kind of like change it to make sure it's really accurate still, Because you can never copy and paste the way that it is. Never. Is it sourcing your entire book to give you that answer? I recently did. I didn't use it for this book. Where I did that exact thing recently is I have a novel to go along with this that will be released at some point soon. We finished the first two thirds. And I love writing. People tell me I'm a good writer at least. So, We'll see. I have a dream of one day creating the next Lord of the Rings and stuff like that. So, I would enjoy something like that. So, I love writing and that's kind of like getting in the flow. That's not a ChatGPT item for me. Do you know what I mean? But what I did is I took the two thirds of the book and I plugged it in. It was through adventure number four. And it's a story of Alex and Mia who kind of get swept into this world and they have to use DBT skills. But here's the funny part. If you didn't know DBT, You wouldn't know that those were the skills they were using. So, It's a really clever way that I hope to package with this book at some point. It's going to be free for those who go to the website to just kind of download. And we'll see. It'll determine how fast I finish the book because I've only done the first two thirds. At first, I thought I was going to put it inside this, But it was just too big and too long. So, It'll be a separate book. And your team will be able to read it and probably enjoy it depending on the age range. Yeah, I don't know. I don't want to say until I finish what age range exactly, But it would be for a teen who sort of actually is into the novel and into the story. And it'll just sort of be like, Oh, That's so weird. That's so incredibly parallel to Mindfulness Island or whatever it is in here. Do you know what I mean? It'll just sort of be like, Oh, That's so funny. And then they'll start to see how the skills are used just in dialogue, Just in the adventure. And it's a fantasy adventure. So, There's a Titan and things like zombies and dragons and I don't know, Whatever it is, You get swept into different worlds. And so, I plugged that storyline, All the entire thing I just copied, Put it into ChatGBT and said, Hey, ChatGBT, Give me a one paragraph explanation for marketing, How you would explain this to someone, Telling them to join. And it was wonderful because ChatGBT was like, Join Alex and Mia as they do whatever they're going to do on the island of adventure and blah, Blah, Blah. And that worked out really well. I just changed a little bit. So, I would say that virtually none of this book was written by ChatGBT. I will say this though, None of this book was written by ChatGBT. None of my books have been written by ChatGBT. None of my manuals or anything like that. But I do use it to help me research at times. And I will say this, There's AI photos now. And this book was, I hired a graphic designer to help put it together, But I know that she was using the AI photos to help, Because it was a lot. This was a very image intense- And really tastefully, Tastefully done. Right, Right. Yeah. So, A lot of AI got in there and you oftentimes wouldn't know it if you haven't sort of done it yourself. But there's other stock images and things like that in the book as well. But AI is definitely, If you're curious about how, Yeah, It's here. There's kind of no going back. There's some interesting other stories about where humanity might be going with all of this. It's interesting to think about. For example, If you have two people going to get a job, And the boss says, Oh, I'm going to need you to use Google. And one person says, No, No, I don't use Google. Who are you going to hire? You're going to hire the one who's willing to use Google, Because it's just faster information. Well, The same thing is kind of with AI. It's in a place where you're going to have to kind of use it to keep up with others, Because the amount of research and compilation is. . . The amount of compilation and data in order to keep up with what really is out there now, It's helpful. It's really helpful. And the reason I sort of paused earlier is I was like, I have a buddy who knows about cyborgs, Stuff like this. And we already have knee replacements. We already have some people who have backpacks with computers and glasses. And what the technology seems to be coming, Just very, Very few, But the technology that seems to be coming is where you can put on a set of glasses. And the glasses are feeding me data about Peter Jones, For example. Peter Jones, He's married to, Has this many kids, Et cetera, Et cetera, Et cetera. And so, Isn't that interesting? And then it's only a matter of time. Do you know that you can already put a chip in your hand before you pay for something, Right? That's already happening. And I know, I mean, If this is like the groups that I teach otherwise, There's a lot of people who are very scared of that and don't like it at all. And then there's others that are less so, But I think all of us are a little, Or a lot of us are very wary of it. But one thing or another is that, I guess the point to take home on that is that there's probably not stopping it in our society. And then the question is just whether or not you will adopt it in that way. And so- And benefit from it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that humanity has a way of continuing to find the good in the things and solve the issues and the problems. So, I think that whatever moral debate there may be about AI and the singularity and stuff like this, It's here to say, It's like none of us would go back to taking away flushing toilets right now or running water, Right? Exactly. Yeah. And so, In a hundred years, No one will look back and be like, Oh, We shouldn't have done, Well, I don't know, Unless we have a Terminator scenario, But no one will look back and say, I wish we didn't have Google, For example. Do you remember when we were kids and we had to go to the. . . When you wanted a question answered, I was lucky if my parents had an encyclopedia that had that as a journal entry. And otherwise, You had to go to the library. Now, You just go on your phone and type it. Through the files of all the magazines. Yeah. The world is a book. Yeah. Yeah. It's remarkable. And to see where we're going in the future, It's amazing. Self-driving cars and stuff soon. So, JetTBG is just one part of it. I see it as a lowering of the barrier to entry of creation. That if you want to create anything, Yeah, Just the ease and speed of creation is accelerating. That's right. That's right. That's right. All right. Well, Anybody here in the chat, In the live with us, Love to field your questions. I'm loving Teresa's comment right there too. I mean, That's exactly it. Our children cannot even fathom what it was like before. You can see the thing in their palm and their hand. I mean, Really. Yeah. And Kerr, Thanks for chiming in again. I mean, Yeah. Probably embracing it is going to be the easier mental thing. If we're talking about DBT and therapy and how to accept or change, We're not stopping this trend. So, Acceptance. We need radical acceptance here, Right? All right. Yeah. It was. . . Oh, Yeah. Insane to look through card catalogs, No computers. All of our wonder questions to work. Oh, Took work. Oh, Cool. Someone wants the second story. I think that's the. . . Yeah, Well, It's. . . Yeah, Let's do that. I'd love that. Well, The second story, Meaning the story that's connected to this book, The fiction story to go along with it, I believe, Unless. . . Oh, You're thinking something else, Peter. It could be one of two things. It's either that, Which I'm really excited about that. And as I read your book, I'm like, James, Can you write topics on everything for teens? And I want a whole series. Everything that you write, I'm like sold on James' good latte. Thanks, Man. You're sweet. But there's also the story of the farmer that you mentioned earlier that's in the book. Oh, Yeah. And you know, If you would like to relate that, This might be good for that. Oh, Yeah. Yeah. Well, Let me. . . I tell you what, Listen, It's a page and a half. Let me find it. And then maybe I'll just read it right out of here. Oh, And this might be a great line to continue down for just a little bit, James, If you have some favorite sections of the book, Just so that people get that sense of your voice in the writing. Because we can say, Oh, It's so fun. And it's just the right tone, But to actually hear it is really magical. Well, So, Okay. So, Yes, I will do that. So, In Adventure 1, There's a mindfulness questionnaire, Which I would say all adults and kids should go and take. And basically, It ranks you, And it's something you can come back to in the future and say, Okay, Well, How am I doing now? You know, Questions like, In the midst of reading something like this workbook, I find myself thinking about other things. Zero is almost never, Sometimes is two, And almost always is four, Right? So, Very simple. You rank yourself, And then you see you got that goes from there. Mindfulness, This is a really, Yeah, Basic DBT. They talk about observing, And participating, And things like that. Like, How do you observe mindfully? Well, It means kind of not placing judgment. So, One of the things that's in here, As an example, Is like ice cream. Well, There's chocolate, And there's vanilla ice cream. And some people like chocolate, And some people don't like chocolate. Or some people like vanilla, And some people don't like vanilla. That's placing a judgment. That's more than just, Well, That's chocolate ice cream, Right? So, How do you look at something without placing the automatic judgment? That's a very big part of mindfulness. We have this, This is ants, Also in mindfulness. So, We identify the kind of ants that might be going through your brain, Bugs that are going through your brain, Just like a kind of acute way. It's a concept within the DBT community. So, For example, Blame ants, An ant that just goes around blaming things. Is that the type of thing that you do? Yes or no? Or do you worry? Or do you say, I should have been this way? Some of these are overlapping and stuff. So, That gives an example of, And that's what you're asking about, Peter, Like little pieces of how it's been put together, Right? So, Then we go to adventure two, And this is the emotional one. This is the emotional scale, To give you a sense. There's a couple of favorites I have. This is definitely one of them. So, If you are, Like I said, If you're down here in depression and sadness, It might be better to go with anger before trying to put the pressure on yourself for feeling joy, Right? So, We instruct people how to do that. And I think that's one of the most useful activities. You mentioned the maps. So, A way to identify, Okay, Well, Here's what I feel in my body. Here's the thought that is creating that feeling. With that thought, Is there an urge? Do I want to lash out in some way? Or what is the behavior? What would be the consequence to that? So, Again, Slowing things down to get people to think through it, Right? I mentioned that DBT is about acceptance versus change, And this is the spiritual ideal versus the human reality, Right? So, That's just the discussion around that. Do you want to chime in, Peter? Yeah. Welcome, April. It says, Late to the live. Are you speaking of the book, DBT Holistic Workbook for Teens? Yeah. Are you familiar, April? That would be so fun to have you come in already aware of it. Oh, It's getting warm here. And Teresa, I love all this reminiscing of the way libraries going in and getting the stamp on the book with the date. I'll tell you- Lovely about that. Peter, When I say favorites, The things that I think are probably some of the most critical things for teens, People, Quite frankly, Is this values chart here. Now, This is a list of values, And what we have teens do is we have them go through and circle the ones that they think are accurate to them, And then we have them reflect on it. Yeah, It's like, What's important? Some of them, Fashion is important, And some of them, Sports is important, And some of them, Friendship is more important. So, We then have them rank them to find out who they are, Really. Then, This is critically important for being able to take steps toward taking actions in their life that are meaningful to them and that feel like they're living a life that they want. That's why this section is called, I believe it's called, Living a Life That You Want. Yeah, Choosing a Life You Love is what this section is called, Choosing a Life You Love, Or Creating a Life You Love. So, This section then, What we do after that is that we have them select something that maybe they recognize is not really them, But they might like to be a little bit more because you can craft yourself. We do evolve over time. We say, Don't do that with more than one thing, Though. Learn to accept and love who you are and know that there's pros and cons to everything. We go through a few examples in here where we show that this thing, Okay, Kindness. If kindness is your value, How is it a pro and how is it a con? It's easy to see, Oh, It's nice to be nice to people, But it's sometimes a con because the people who are the kindest don't have boundaries and are taken advantage of. Can you see? So, We need to draw your attention to where your values are both working for you and then where they could be working not for you. This is why this is one of the most important things, I think, Of the entire book. So, We take the values and they list their values. They maybe have one that they want to work on down here. We then have them list a few goals that are in line with the values. Of course, We explain exactly how to do this, But then we say, Okay, Here are some actions you can take for one of these goals. Pick one goal and now what actions can you take and then which one can you do this week? Which one can you do today, Potentially? It's literally let's create the life you love for real. So, Again, These are some of my favorite, Favorite things. I will go read this. I think it's coming up here in the third section now. Oh, I mentioned the SOS where you can either breathe rapidly or take a minute worth of jump squats or get into a cold shower to really change if you're really having emotional challenges. It can change you neurochemically. It's so cool that it really can be like, Okay, Okay. I mean, Even today, Today's a launch day. I've been working all day. I'm thankful that before coming on with you, I went to do yoga and my own version of exercise. I had to move my body and I really dropped all that level of, I'm in a hurry. I'm in a hurry. That's how it works. That's why we are human beings. We really need movement and things like this. So, Having the team identify which pieces of movement work best for him or her is very important. Shall I keep going? You want to take a moment? I'm about to read. Yeah, Let's take just a moment. Just a moment. I see Shannon says, Have I tested it? I haven't tested it. I just launched. So, I have to bring the book to them and figure that out. Oh, And I'm sorry, Maybe you of course wouldn't know is that my kids are based mostly out of North Carolina. I'm in Florida right now. So, There's a lot of back and forth and things like this, But I'm not in their presence at this moment during launch. And we all have these things. I'm like, Hey, Hey, I asked my son, I'm like, How would you feel about me asking your school about this book? And he's like, No, Don't you dare ever do that, Please. And so, To me, My relationship with him is more important than having this school, Even though it's so important because the school has mentioned, Oh, DBT, Right? So, I don't know, Maybe it'll work out in time, But the universe will work itself out as we go. So, We'll see. With one of my daughters right now, I am on with her in the evenings, Several evenings a week, And we watch near-death experiences, Believe it or not. Wow, That sounds fun. We watch them because in basically every single case, Like 98% or whatever, The person discovers that there's unconditional love and peace, And that's what we find when we die. And then in this case, They come back or whatever. And it's amazing stories, And some of them are kids when they die, And they're recounting it. Some of them are older, Of course, And there's all sorts of. . . The last one we watched was a husband and wife that died at the same time and one came back. And even if you don't want to believe that it's true or whatever, That's okay. It's a nicer way to think about what's happening at the very least. Sometimes I say it's not important if it's true. It's important that it can help to serve us while we're here on the planet. And so, That's one of the things that I do with this particular daughter, And that's one of. . . I could see that transitioning into this book, For example. I think each teen is going to have their own of mine, And I think for everyone, Really. There have been examples of people like, Okay, Well, My teen's not. . . What are you going to do? Force your teen to read a book with you? No. I think, Peter, What you did was absolutely brilliant. It's part of your bedtime reading with your younger teens. I would absolutely say that that's the best thing that could be done. I'm sure you did other bedtime stories at different times with other kids and stuff, And that's a wonderful tradition. I think that's one of probably the most accessible ways to do this book. Otherwise, A lot of teens are in therapy, And their therapist will be giving them this book, You know? So, Sorry, When I. . . Yeah, Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny. Being a creator of things like this and having kids, I go through. . . I relate so much to what you said about that, Like, You know, Forcing it on them. You're inspired because that is your life, And you see the need for it so much, And so you easily create it. But then it's funny to be that person, Like, Well, I'm dad in your life, And we have this relationship, And that's weird for you to approach by school. I'm in this really delightful thing. Well, But there's something that's so actually important on this, Though, Is that. . . Remember, This was a year-long process for me in discovering DBT, And so I started using it. I went up to where they are in North Carolina, Where their mom lives, And I stayed with them, And she lives with a stepfather figure, You know, A person who has. . . They have other kids and stuff. And so, Oh, My gosh, Mind-blowing discussions, And I honestly have to say that I pulled a lot of it, And you know me. I have dyspensa and meditation and all my self-development and learning, But this broke it down. Well, This, I mean, DBT, The science of the DBT to break it down allowed me to be, I would say, More effective than I had ever been in family discussions, And I'm a pretty good communicator. People really know me as that, But what was happening felt so, So good to my soul, And to the point where my 15-year-old, The same one who's like, Yeah, Don't put it in school, He has had multiple instances of revealing his respect for the way I'm able to communicate. And it was a very, Very healing thing between the entire family dynamic with his mom and me, And it was wonderful, Really wonderful. So, Again, I am doing it, And I think that I say that about a lot of things. We get into things because we want to be better at them ourselves, Right? So. . . I love that. A couple of the comments coming through, Shannon, Teens tend to not listen to their parents. I'll bring this up to my son's high school on Thursday at our meeting. Kerr practiced on the other schools first, And then he might get jealous and want to talk to his school. Is that manipulation? That's what parenting is, Kerr, Is manipulation. It would be art of a manipulation. I guess it depends. I love it. Thank you, Teresa. Yeah, And thank you, I see. Oh, Wow, April, Thank you. Thank you, Guys. Yeah. By the way, Manipulation, Although we use that word, And it usually has a negative connotation, It's technically not negative. We can manipulate things with our kids or in our environment. I imagine play. Or good. Yeah, Yeah. Like laughing yoga, That is a manipulation. We are purposely doing it so that we can have more laughter, Right? So many of you on here, I think, Know that, Peter, I don't know, You probably do laughing yoga a lot, Right? It's every session you do. Yeah, Pretty much. Yeah, That is a manipulation for good. So let's manipulate for good everywhere possible, Right? Yes. I hope that's a vote of confidence, Kerr. Peter manipulates me constantly. Exactly. Now, Do you want me to- Yeah, Let's get into that story. You're like, Okay, I'll read the page and a half, And I'll try not to belabor it too much. So once upon a time, There was a farmer named Say Wang. Now, By the way, This is an activity inside the stress tolerance section. So the one that has to do with the radical acceptance, For example, Things like that. It's like, How do we accept this? How do we let something go? So once upon a time, There was a farmer named Say Wang. And you can find versions of this online, But I made this one my own in a way. He and his family didn't have much money and relied primarily on his one horse for important tasks, Like planting the harvest each year for them to eat. One day, The horse ran off into the woods and the farmer's neighbor came over to offer condolences. Because the neighbor knew that Say Wang's family would certainly suffer, Unable to obtain as much food at the next harvest, He said to Say Wang, Oh, How terrible your misfortune. However, The wise farmer simply replied maybe, For he was unsure what events would come from this unexpected misfortune. Two days passed and Say Wang and his family continued planting by hand, Whatever they could. On the morning of the third day, The farmer's young daughter exclaimed that she saw their horse returning to them from the edge of the woods, But their horse was not alone. There was now another horse at its side. News spread of the horse's return and Say Wang's neighbors gathered to see the new impressive wild horse specimen, Envious that Say Wang now had one more horse than before. Say Wang's neighbor said to him this time, How fortunate you are that you now have two horses and I only have one. To which Say Wang replied, Maybe, For he was unsure what events might unfold from this unexpected blessing. Excited for a robust harvest season, On the fourth day, Say Wang's children went to work training the new horse. That afternoon, Say Wang's oldest son and strongest farmhand was thrown from the new wild horse, Breaking the oldest son's leg. His son required medical attention from the town doctor and as news spread, The neighbors once again gathered, This time to lament the unfortunate circumstances. Say Wang's neighbor came over to offer sympathy again this time saying, Dear neighbor, We have heard the most terrible news that has happened to your son. How terrible. But the wise farmer once again replied, Maybe, For he was unsure what events might unfold from this unexpected disaster. The morning of the sixth day, Say Wang's family awoke in a startle. Sounds of mothers and fathers crying echoed through the town as the national army marched door to door, Drafting the eldest sons of every family, Requiring them to fight as the soldiers in the war. The enlisting officers barged into Say Wang's home, But found his oldest son laying in bed with a broken leg. And so the officers moved on quickly to the next house. As the army passed, Say Wang's neighbor visited, Tears in his eyes from having abruptly had to say goodbye to his own eldest son. He peeked his head in to see that Say Wang's son was resting peacefully in bed with his broken leg and said, Life has blessed you once again, Dear neighbor. But the wise farmer once again replied, Maybe. For how could he possibly tell what else might unfold from these events? Positive becoming negative, Negative becoming positive, And how are we able to see the silver lining in things? There's often one. And the reason why this story is so powerful, Really, Is because there are many of the most well-known people who have. . . What have they gone through? They have gone through massive challenges in their life. And you know what they say? They say it was the best thing that happened to me. In the dispensary community, It happens all the time. If it weren't for that disaster, I would not be who I am today. And if we can impress some of that resiliency into our kids, It's a good thing. Now, I see you laughing over there. Are you going to share with us what's going on, Peter? Oh my goodness. Kerry, You just have the most ridiculous joke, And I love it so much. Say Wang's nickname should be Say Maybe. Perfect. Oh, I love it. And- We have a section- I want to point out to the audience that not only is James a talented writer and teacher, But he is also a very talented artist and game player. So when me and James were first getting to know each other, We would play these fun online games, And one of them is this drawing game. So James kept drawing these beautiful dinosaur drawings, Or sometimes dragons, And we put this shirt together last time, I swear. Yeah, So now you know the truth of my artistic ability. To make sure that you and I don't get worried, I didn't put any of my own artistry into this book. Oh, Man. Well, Yeah. Is there any other questions that we could go over? Anybody interested to know more about James, The publishing process, The writing process, And while we have this time with my good friend James? Yeah, And at this point, Peter, I kind of went through about half of the book, Trying to go through what you had said, Give us a sort of a taste of some of the things. Just to let everyone know out there, That was about three adventures or so. And that's not all the things, Of course. I skipped a bunch, But just to give you a sense of it. I need four more steps in the step one in publishing. Oh, Yes, So four more steps. So if step one is you have to- Like breaking it down. Yeah, I'll just do them really fast right now, Because we did go over them. But the first one is a keyword search, And there's actually specialty programs you can use to find out what is selling on Amazon. So that's a legit sort of like, Oof, Big starting point. Number two is a professional cover, Because guess what? People do judge a book by its cover. Step three is it has to be a quality book. It has to actually solve people's challenges. And then step four is it has to have reviews. And in this case, Between 100 to 200 reviews in order to kind of say, Okay, This one's going to fold. Now, I don't have experience doing this before. It is my first time. So I've gotten the first three on this book, And we're working on this. We're at 68 or 69 reviews right now or whatever. Well, Yeah, I mean, Bribe people. The idea is, You know what I did a lot of, Actually, Is I spent a lot of time on Facebook groups helping answer questions. And I'll tell you, There's people really hurting out there, Families that are really hurting, Who do not have resources. They don't know what to do to solve their challenges with their kids. So I spent a lot of time answering questions, Actually, Out there. And I got to know admins in various groups that are parenting groups and things like this. And then I just said, Hey, The book is for free. And we've had reasonable success with people coming in who were like, Oh, Wow, This is great. So there's a number of different ways. And this, Peter, A friend of mine, Went on and reviewed the book. So I didn't really bribe him. So I've got a little shift. My daughters and cousin are coming over. They want to participate. I'm going to try and change my audio setup a little bit so that they can talk and they can hear your voice. And I'll take out my earbuds. Hopefully, That doesn't break what's going on here. So just in case that does, I'm going to say thank you so much, James, For this time, Spending this with us. This has been a real delight for me to share your light, Your energy, And this beautiful offering that you've put out into the world, This creation. And I talk about this all the time with manifestation and telekinesis. That is part of what we were created to do is to express our desires and what we see as good, What we think is going to help the world. And so thank you so much for being this brilliant light example of doing that. Oh, Thank you, Man. Yeah, It was a busy day for me. And here I am alive. It was very fun to do this with you and with everyone here. So yeah, Thank you. Thank you so much. And by the way, If we haven't mentioned it and new people have joined, You can go to Amazon and you type in DBT, Holistic Skills Workbook for Teens, And it is free as an ebook until 11. 59 Eastern today. Okay. Wow. And now, Hold on just one moment. I'm going to take my earbuds out and do some magic behind the scenes. Hopefully it doesn't break anything. And then my daughter and my niece are going to ask some questions. I see you, April. Thank you. Yeah, The target audience wants to speak, Kerr. That's right. Yeah, I mean, I guess if I'm still feeling, Are you able to hear me? Still working? Oh, It's not working. Waiting for Peter's tech. I was going to say to April, If you're able to hear me, That the paper that I'm going to be presenting today, I'm going to be presenting a paper that the paperback right now is very, Very inexpensive. It's 10 bucks or $9. 99. It's about as low as it can go right now on Amazon while we're still in this launch phase. So congratulations to anyone who actually wants the paperback because it is a very good deal right now, Of course. I was going to ask about that. James, Can you still hear me? Yeah, I hear you. What's the price of the paperback? Right now it's $9. 99. I mean, The idea is that once we're in that 100 to 200 reviews zone, We'll start to put the price back up to what a normal workbook would be. Look, It'll never be more than, What, 20 bucks-ish or whatever. So it's not that big of a thing. But it happens to be on sale right now, If you will. Yeah. And the way it is a workbook, There's all these parts to write things down. The illustrations are so wonderful. The layout, Great job with that. Layout is not an easy task. So that is spectacularly done. I'm going to get the paperback because I love it so much. Okay. So it's looking like we've got audio working. So Rachel and Gracie, If you guys want to sit down, This is James. Hi, Rachel and Gracie. Oh my goodness. Rachel, You've heard some of the book as I've read it at night. Do you have any questions? What questions might you ask or what do you want to know about the book? I don't know. So maybe what's a little skill that they might do to practice or an exercise to get them into the book and interested to explore more? Oh gosh. Well, I tell you what, Let's all do a breathing exercise. And anyone at home watching this can do it. It's basically going to be rapid breathing. We'll do it for like, I'll do one minute. I'll actually do a timer here and then you'll feel what it's like. Now, Listen, Some of you may know this type of thing as Wim Hof or something like that too. There's a lot of different ways to breathe. If you start to feel a little bit tingly or lightheaded, That's generally considered normal. That's what we're doing. We're purposely changing your chemistry. So if first of all, Everyone checks in with yourself right now and you sort of identify, Well, What is my dominant emotion? Maybe it's just content. Maybe, I don't know. Maybe for Rachel, It's like a little bit of nervousness. I'm on screen here with my dad or something. I don't know. Whatever it is, It's just take a moment to check in. And then what we're going to do is after we breathe for the minute and I'll lead you and now it's going to be kind of aggressive because we're here to change something. And then at the end, I'll just say, Well, Check in with how you are. Again, If you're feeling fine, Then maybe you just feel fine, But there's likely to be an aliveness of some sort. And what I'll put into your mind right now to imagine is imagine if you're feeling really sad or depressed or anxious or having a tough time, Imagine doing this and see what that aliveness feeling might turn into. So that's all. It's something we can use in the future. Yeah. I'm right there with Kerr and my check-in is I'm living in the moment, Really enjoying this present time. Do you guys have a check-in if you want to state it out loud? How are you feeling? Hungry. Hungry. Very hungry. I thought they were coming to be on this live with us, But maybe they were coming to find lunch. I have a whole section of description. Okay. So yeah, So just check in and then this is something that obviously will probably be more pertinent when you're kind of, If you can remember to do this in the midst of a time when you need a change. So I'm going to start this timer for one minute. You'll hear it ring and of course I'll come off, But I'll kind of lead you. I'll start it right now. So we're going to go inhale and then out. I'm going to do in through my nose, Out through my mouth, But you can do whatever is comfortable. Now to do it with the right muscles, You want to do it into your belly more so in your torso, A little less, Like don't get it up into your neck too much. We're already 20 something seconds through. So keep going. We're more than halfway through. Keep going. Allow yourself to really change your chemistry. Pulling deep into your abdomen with your diaphragm. You have 12 seconds to go. Keep it going. Fast, Fast, Fast. Last few coming up. If you want bonus, Exhale and just hold for a moment and feel your body. Now I'm going to say feel free to just breathe when you want. You don't need to pass out here, But just feel your body. It's not uncommon to feel some sort of tingliness. I for sure have a sort of a lightness that came up here. I already knew this was going to cause me to feel more alive and it indeed does, A little less tired maybe. But before I say any more leading type of things, Does anyone else want to chime in with how you feel? I had some pain in my back before starting it, Kind of an ache here. You may have seen me grab my shoulder at some point during the live and that went away. There's a physiological reason why that might happen is that if you were pumping through your midsection, What diaphragmatic breathing can do in this aggressive way is it can turn on your core. It's called core breathing. What we got you to do is activate your midsection muscles, Which by definition reduces the other muscles that are holding you up so you won't feel as much tension here. That's my specialty is corrective exercise. That's what you would feel right there. That's really interesting. It just made me more hungry. Okay. Get some food soon. How are you feeling, Rachel? I don't have to eat out my belly. More hunger. Hunger. Another thing that I sensed, This was pretty subtle, But it almost like a chill underneath my nostrils, But with a scent that I would almost like I want to describe as like ozone or oxygen, Like a change in the way that things smell in the air. Oh, Interesting. Okay. Okay. Well, So those of you who do or have heard of Wim Hof, He's pretty much an international sensation. He's called the Iceman. He hikes the Himalayas in shorts, Which is unheard of. People die doing that. But in studies, What has been shown when they have researched this is that it bolsters your immune system to an extraordinary. . . That's one of the effects. To the point where you can then be injected with E. Coli and the people in the study didn't get sick. It's pretty miraculous. People do this when they go into a cold shower or a cold plunge. They do this and it causes your adrenaline to turn on as well. There's a variety of different things that it stimulates, But it for sure stimulates a change. That's the whole point of Adventure 3. The third skill in DBT is the stress endurance. Again, It changes something. It's very easy because you can really just step aside, Go do it, And then come back. Or I guess it can be funny to do in the middle of a classroom or whatever. It would seem a little weird. It was very aggressive in that way. You have to play with it. One of the concepts is to go into the bathroom, Excuse yourself, And go into the bathroom and do the minute and then come back out and go back into life. Your teacher just said something you didn't like or gave a bad grade or a student in class. It's okay to excuse yourself, Shift your state if you want, And then move forward. The other one in the SOS that I love is the jump squats, Which it kind of gets your breathing. It's part of it, But it gets your muscle involved in a much bigger way, Of course. Yeah, Teresa's saying she talks to her son about going to the bathroom to shift at school. That's amazing. Yeah, Cool. We have a question up there. How do you encourage self-conscious teens to engage in such vigorous drawing attention to self-experience? I'm assuming, Kerry, That you're talking about a breath like this. Maybe the answer is retreating to a place where you're not drawing attention. Yeah, Yeah. No, We're not going to do this. I'm not, Most people, Of course, Going to do this in a public atmosphere. This is a, Let me excuse myself, Go to the bathroom or to the yard or whatever it is that I needed to the field. Let me go for a walk around the track for a minute. Do this for one minute and then come back. Yeah, I mean, If you're in class and it's not appropriate to do that, Then you're going to have to go to some other, Like this is a, Remember, DBT is accept or change. Well, This is a change, Right? This is, I'm changing myself doing this. So if you don't have that, Then maybe remind yourself of the Tsai Wang story, Right? Remind yourself that, Okay, There could be some silver lining coming from this. Let me be willing to ask the question of what could, What might come from this that's positive? What could potentially, How might it be positive for me? It's a very powerful question, How might this turn out in my favor? As Tony Robbins says, It's how is life working for me, Not to me? That's a very powerful question. Rachel, As an aspiring author yourself, Do you have any questions for James who just wrote and published his own book about that process? Um, Did you illustrate it yourself? No, I hired a, A good question. I hired a, A professional designer. And again, We live in a world where things are so accessible. It's pretty amazing. If you go to fiverr. Com or upwork. Com, You can find people who are quite qualified and capable from all over the world. It's, She's become a part of my team now. She has a skill in something called Adobe InDesign. And, And that's how she, This, As Peter was saying, This was very, Very like, It's a, What was the word that you use? The layout? It's no joke. Trying to figure out how, You know, How, Because remember, I didn't, I didn't write this into like this, This, Well, I sort of, This chart, I guess would. So let me, Let me find one that actually, Um, Yeah. So like in my, In my Google document, I would have just a, You know, A bolded thing called activity one. And then I'd have a, A, A sort of another bolded, Like it's called food reactions and symptoms. And then I would have like a suggestion of, Uh, Hey, Maybe put a picture there of a person with growing food in the air. I don't know what he's doing. He's he has food. Um, The point is, Is that this didn't look, This just looked like a regular print all the way through, You know? And so what she then had to do is imagine, Well, What should this look like really? So she made the entire, That's as a, It's her professional job. It's awesome. And so she also put like these, If you can see this, Uh, No, It's a little bit. Oh, There it is. So you see this, She put like a texture point. Now, Of course that doesn't actually have texture, But it's, It's a random design that, That creates a sense of depth within the material. So she decided to create blank space here. Not because I knew to even ask her anything like that, But she, So, So this, That was just words became not only a picture, But also, You know, She has a little symbol here to help, You know, That with, With continuity, But then she decided how to put, You know, A line there and then this here. And then, So, So yeah, It was a whole thing. Yeah. To lay out a book like that is mind-boggling to me because you change one sentence at the beginning of the book and that cascades through the entire book. And when you have diagrams and activities that need to be grouped in a certain way, Whew, That's crazy. Yeah. It really had to be finished with the writing. There were some minor changes we were due, But this was a real, You know, I'm used to in my own business with my, I have hundreds of pages of professional manuals for, For professionals, For, For exercise professionals. And I can just go in and just adjust it. And then, You know, There it is, The new PDF or whatever, But this putting a book up and saying it's final now and knowing you can't touch it anymore is a whole other thing. So we really had to be very clear about the words being basically done before we could begin that process, Which took a couple months at the end. Now, You mentioned these four steps for publishing a book successfully. The first one being finding a relevant topic or something that people are going to actually want to buy. For fiction, What's, What is that process like? Does it apply the way that you learned it? How does that apply? It's a great question. And the answer is they, This, This community of 22, 000 people being taught by, You know, The people that created this community say that you are doing non-fiction books. There is no fiction. In other words, You can't, You can't do a keyword search for fiction book. It doesn't work. Oh, Oh, Because it's, So it's, It's just, It's such a different category that it's, You can't solve someone's problem. There's no consistency in it. You have to be a well-known author or you have to get out there and grassroots market it. There is no search term that's going to come up with your book. Yep. That's the concept. So that's, That's why as I was being taught, And you know, This is what I do for a living anyway. I create manuals like this and stuff and research. And so this is, This is the type of book I would naturally want to put out, I think, Until I finally am ready to do my Lord of the Rings one. Right. But, But Lord of the Rings will not, My Lord of the Rings book, Whenever that is that I do, That will not benefit from a keyword search. It's, It just, I mean, I mean, Look, Maybe we stretch it by saying, Are people more interested in orcs or unicorns? And then maybe I decide if I want to name my book after an orc or a unicorn or something. I mean, Maybe. But no, It doesn't fit. Fiction cannot work in finding out, You know, What to do. And, You know, Sometimes I say this too, Is that it was a process. It was a process. There was a lot and it was not, There always was extra something at every stage that I did. Extra time, Extra work, You know, They say it'll always cost like two times as much and to spend, Take three times as long or whatever. That was definitely true of this process. And I, Some of me is glad I didn't know it was going to take that long, You know, Because I just, You know, I showed up and I just kept going and going. And yeah, The publishing journey is an interesting one. And it's, It's fascinating because a lot of us can do it if we're excited for this type of thing. It's a wonderful opportunity in today's day and age, You know. My next step, By the way, The final piece, You guys see that there's an ebook, Then there's the paperback, Then there's the hardcover. The next step is an audible audiobook. So I will probably create it myself so that my passion and my excitement comes forth. But I haven't done those modules. I haven't learned about it, But it'll be fun. Wonderful. Yeah. Well, I think I'd better go feed the children. I think so. Thank you so much, James. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for spending so much time. And to those of you online and, And, You know, Who've been participating, Gosh, Thank you. I feel honored that you've been here with me through this couple of hours. So, And thank you, Peter, For the opportunity. Truly. DBT, Holistic Skills Workbook for Teens.