A client of mine is in a marriage that's coming apart,
A marriage that has been filled with anger,
Yelling,
Slamming doors,
A toxic atmosphere of resentment where a single word from one of them lights a fire that they've been lighting for years.
Several weeks ago,
He started our session describing a moment with his wife.
She said something,
The kind of thing that she said many times,
The kind of thing that always pulled the same gasoline-on-fire response out of him,
But this time,
He said,
Something shifted.
He said,
I became an observer,
And I was aware of my part.
In that moment,
His expression as he told me this was unmistakable.
I've been doing this work long enough to know what I was seeing.
His expression was what change looks like.
Neither he nor his wife are malicious people,
But for years,
Their survival brains have been running the show,
Reacting,
Defending,
Attacking,
Withdrawing on autopilot.
No real awareness,
No real choice,
Just two old programs playing out their logic,
Leaving chaos and pain in their wake,
And the real heart-wrencher is that two very young children are caught in the middle of it.
The moment he became an observer,
The moment he noticed,
He stepped outside that program for the first time.
That's where love lives,
In that pause,
In that noticing.
And this is the heart of our work as he moves through this divorce,
To go through this earth-shaking change with love,
Making choices for the highest good of all concern.
Love is a choice made in the hardest moments,
When the unconscious,
Habitual response is pounding on the door,
So easy,
So ready and waiting.
Love isn't just a feeling,
It's a practice.
This is the work I explore in Finding Serenity,
A course I created to help you meet change with acceptance,
Courage,
Wisdom,
And love.
If something in you is ready,
I'd be honored to walk that path with you.
