Come and sit with me for a while.
If you're here,
I imagine you are blaming yourself for something.
There's something weighing heavy on your heart and on your mind.
A moment.
A set of circumstances,
A choice,
A voice that keeps saying it was your fault,
Why,
Why,
Why?
So let's sit together and just see if we can soften that,
Even if just a little.
Because in the softening there's space.
A space for growth.
Make yourself comfortable,
I'd like you to be very comfortable and there are no rights or wrongs.
Following your breath as it moves in and out of your body.
No effort required,
The body knows how to breathe.
If you haven't done so and you'd like to,
Gently close your eyes.
Feeling the weight of the body against the surface you're resting on.
Letting go.
Letting go.
Held and supported and safe in this moment.
In this moment nothing bad is going to happen.
In this moment.
You can put down the stick you've been using to beat yourself up.
That voice,
The voice that tells you you should have done better.
You should have known better.
That you're the problem.
That voice in its own way is trying to protect you.
It believes that if you punish you enough.
.
.
It won't happen again.
You won't find yourself in that situation again and you won't feel like this again.
But actually.
.
.
It just hurts.
It hurts.
And it can keep you stuck.
And if we find a way in practice and in daily life to soften that voice slightly Not numb it,
Not push it away.
But acknowledge it,
Make space for it,
And just.
Allow it to soften,
Quiet.
There's growth,
There's the opportunity for growth.
Exploring how things might be different.
For you.
For others.
So we're not going to fight that voice or any other today and we're not going to argue with it.
We're simply going to thank it for trying and let it know that it can rest now.
Saying to yourself i know you've been trying to protect me but in this moment you can rest.
I know you've been trying to protect me.
But in this moment you can rest.
And sense what happens to the body,
Notice what happens in the body.
Letting go.
Letting go.
Can you consider that?
You were doing the best you could.
With what you knew and with what you had.
With how tired and stressed you were You did what you did with what life was asking you at that time and the resources you had available.
Can you consider that that was then and this is now?
Hindsight shows us choices that were never visible in that moment.
And judging yourself now in this moment with everything you've learned since then isn't fair.
You'd never hold someone you love to that standard.
You would offer forgiveness and grace.
Can you extend to yourself what you'd so freely give a loved one?
Can you be open?
To shifting from blame to growth and responsibility.
Blame looks back and punishes.
Blame is angry and reproachful.
Blame titans.
It fixes.
It locks.
Growth and responsibility.
Invite space and openness and possibility.
Of a new way of thinking,
A new way of being.
New life,
New growth,
New shoots.
Can you be open to honouring and accepting what happened?
Can you be open to learning from it?
To making amends.
With yourself,
With others if needed.
But can you be open to laying down the stick,
Laying down the whip?
To allowing the voice that's been criticizing you and judging you so harshly to rest.
You've heard.
You've internalized,
You know.
You've suffered enough.
Change is the only constant and you are allowed to change.
You're allowed to grow.
You're allowed to be human and to be human is to err.
To be human is to fall.
To be human is to fail.
To be human is to disappoint.
And to be human is to stand up.
And try again.
To be human is to accept the hands reaching out to help you.
To connect with you to support you.
To be human.
Is to try and take one step at a time.
Can you accept that you are human?
May you forgive yourself for what you did not know then.
May you forgive yourself for what you could not do then.
May you release the weight of blame and keep the learning.
May you speak to yourself the way you speak to those you love.
One more time.
May you forgive yourself for what you did not know.
May you forgive yourself for what you could not do.
May you release the blame,
The pain.
And keep the learning.
And may you speak to yourself with love.
You are loved.
Despite all you are loved.
Gently placing a loving hand on your heart,
On your belly or on your other hand.
And sense what you might need to hear from yourself right now.
Not to push anything away or numb it or pretend things didn't happen.
Just to support yourself and love yourself in this moment.
In the spirit of hope,
In the spirit of grace.
What do you most need to hear from yourself?
And before we end this practice,
Remembering that the past is a place we learn from,
Not a place we live.
And frankly,
While there is breath in your body,
You can always,
Always,
Always,
Always begin again.
You might need help,
You might need support.
You might need to lean into practice.
You can always begin again.
Come back to this practice anytime.
The voice of blame starts to grow loud and take you down rabbit holes.
And in the meantime please be very very gentle with yourself And thank you so,
So much for practicing with me today.
