The Gift Of Letting Go

Please enjoy this Mindfulness retreat talk recorded in 2010 entitled "The Gift of Letting Go". In this talk, we’ll explore how the act of letting go creates the conditions for deeper presence and insight. Together, we’ll unpack the habitual patterns of clinging and resistance that keep us from fully resting in the moment, and discover practical tools for loosening these grips with kindness and curiosity.

By cultivating a mindset of openness and release, this talk offers guidance for entering meditation with greater ease, clarity, and a sense of freedom.

Transcript

This is a wonderful gift that we have given ourselves today and I think that this is one of the things that in society we don't value enough is just to give ourselves some space and time to just be and the most amazing part of that comment is that just being in an effortless way is really our natural condition.

Our natural condition is this is this free open space of unconditioned awareness just in a simple awareness what what is for a thought during a thought and after a thought just the awareness some use the analogy of a sky you know a vast sky as our true nature and it's it's a good analogy and then of course you have all these experiences sounds and smells and tastes and thoughts all of that are these clouds that move through this boundless infinite space of awareness and just because of our conditioning from our past we lose touch with that.

I think as children we probably don't even question that we're completely open vulnerable naked in a sense and completely open to everything you know I mean I think we can all remember how excited we were when we were children and we had our first teacher in kindergarten and we'd run home and say guess what the teacher taught me today it's just so excited about life and everything that was happening and as we grew older we we sort of in a because of conditioning we've lost touch with the the openness of that and the newness and the mystery of each moment of this very moment which is where life really happens right it's not happening in the future that's just a dream it's not happening in the past that's gone past we are certainly certainly if we're living in a conditioned completely in a conditioned space that's past yeah we're being driven and we're reacting from a place of of that past conditioning so such a wonderful opportunity today to just come in the most simple simple effortless effortless effortless way and just be so simple and yet we are our habit is to do is to fix it's to seek is to change something about ourselves and our habit is to bring into this space expectations about how the day is going to go you know the worries about if I'll be able to do it whatever it is expectations about fixing ourselves because we're not good enough because we feel that that we need to be calmer or happier or kinder or whatever it may be there's just infinite number of things that we pull that we bring with us into the space and so I'd like to do a little exercise to start out the day just really quickly and if someone could could help me out there's some pads right there and some pencils if you could just hand out a pad and a pencil to each person it's gonna be fun everything today is fun wonderful things that we can bring into a day of just sitting in this way and we'll talk about that in a minute but joyful effort is something we seem to forget because we're so used to things being so difficult we're always trying to push our way through life and do and well overdo and so this isn't a space of tension a space of resistance this is a space of joyful effort and not needing to for things to be in a certain way so you have in front of you a pad and a pencil and what I'd like you to do no pressure I'm feeling it already like everyone's waiting what you can say I don't know if I'm gonna be able to pass the test no it's very simple I would like you to write down any x-based so just really open up and and write down any expectations that you're bringing with you any beliefs and concepts that you just that you have about what's going to happen today or just ones that are floating around I don't even have to be about today I expect to be rich I expect to be enlightened I expect I expected there would be more people here today that would be mine you know even beliefs about who you think you are just write them all down no one's gonna see them by the way so don't worry these are your private expectations beliefs and concepts they may be some from the past you know I expected to you know my mom used to she carried with her till she was in her 80s this expectation that she wanted to go to college and become something and it just didn't work out so she carried that with her such a burden to carry those expectations with us so here's your chance to write them down no need to do any serious searching just what those that arise for you okay everyone done all right Jan if you could just take that little brown box there so what you're gonna do is you're gonna fold up your piece of paper and Jan is going to come around with this box and when you put your paper in the box you are letting go of these expectations these beliefs just letting it go just letting it go just for today I'll hold on to them for you if you want them back later on glad to get them back just letting those go no expectations and the reason for this not that there's a reason but to be it to really open and explore just letting them go to really open and explore our true nature our true condition which is really an unconditioned awareness an unconditioned being if we're dragging with us all of these ideas and beliefs and past expectations about how things should be we've really created sort of a box right we've created this little box when there's this entire universe there's this vast infinite boundless space of unconditioned awareness and we're living in this these walls that we create which are called expectations and beliefs and concepts so just for today just to let that go and live more in a mystery or be in a mystery of what will happen we just don't know so we're really just open to this day in the most effortless way not that we have to and that doesn't mean that we're pushing anything away as well whatever arises we're meeting that with openness and so one of for me the the most important thing that's a very conditioned statement but I'm going to say it anyway is presence is whenever we're completely lost whether it be an expectation whether it be in whatever a storm of thoughts or awareness just having a presence really sort of pulls us out of that in a sense just a moment of presence not like that we're that's that's a doing just an effortless presence brings us here where things are really happening right where life is truly happening and it takes us out of that storm it takes us out of those beliefs and expectations and we can see in this moment you know what is happening now this is what's happening this is all that's happening and there are there's energy in the body there are motions there are thoughts all moving through in this presence in this awareness and so as we go through the day we will be maybe maybe not we will be experiencing all kinds of different things pleasant unpleasant neutral and so how we meet that is sort of important how that when we're sitting how we're meeting desire how we're meeting attachment how we're opening to difficult experiences emotions and we do that with just a really open loving presence and just something I spoke of the other night which for me was has been really wonderful lately just came back to me about how we can hold our own internal world and others externally and all the things that are happening for us in life with this really boundless awakened heart and I don't mean this heart I mean the heart that's here this heart center this awakened heart that's very open that a lot of us have sort of forgotten that we that that we embody that we have this wonderful heart that can hold everything it's boundless it's not like it's that we gain or lose anything there and one of the things for me that was really important in my practice was meeting people like you know like the Dalai Lama and spiritual people like that or even my cat put him in the same category very very loving just a very open being and when I when I meet these people in the past when I had met these people in the past or these beings I felt really wonderful love and openness in their presence and I would always say to people wow that person is very open and loving I wish I could be like that you know and one day it dawned on me that when I was in the presence of different beings just or maybe just in nature sometimes just being in nature that I would feel this openness this loving presence this awakened heart and then I realized that that's me that's feeling that that I have the capacity to love in that way to be completely open and this was a really amazing beautiful insight for me because before that I had just assumed that it was someone else that was creating it and that when they went away that the capacity to love went away and then I realized that that wasn't true that I had the capacity to do that and that that person was certainly awakening that in me right because they were open and able and not pushing not pulling not trying to get anything not trying to get rid of anything just really a person that you could almost step into right just embody and this has been a wonderful insight for me in the way that I hold that which arises for me whether it be from the past or people that are in front of me that are dealing with difficult situations which happens a lot or just family or just life in general just I'm cold I'm hot you know I'm sweaty I'm whatever just the little things that pile up during the day I don't like my job whatever it may be and we can hold that with this vast boundless loving presence that never has ever gone anywhere it's always been there and so I'd like you just to for a moment to just remember back when you've experienced that with another being whether it be an animal or in nature or with a spiritual teacher anyone maybe even your child or small small child I feel that way with my little girl so just for a moment just just remembering back and you felt very open and loved and loving I just like you to today to bring with you and just remember that that that which you felt at that time is not gone anywhere and that you always have the capacity to hold and love and be loved in that way so that as the day progresses and you are meeting life meeting what's happening for you whatever it may be that you can meet it with that openness that loving presence and when things arise we can let them go don't need to hold on and when things arise that we don't like we can allow them to move through so we're going to sit now and again in the most effortless way nothing to seek nothing to know I think to get that can be gained or lost just an effortless being just as we're starting here I'm just going to read it a piece I don't know that the person that wrote it that's a wonderful way to enter into this wonderful day that we've given ourselves to just sit and be present with what's happening to see more clearly who we are in the world around us just a wonderful wonderful gift that we have let go of the ways you thought life would unfold the holding of plans or dreams or expectations let it all go save your strength to swim the tide with the tide the choice to fight what is here before you now will only result in struggle fear and desperate attempts to flee from the very energy you long for let go let it all go and flow with the grace that washes through your days whether you receive it gently or with all your quills raised to defend against invaders take this on faith the mind may never find the explanation that it seeks but you will move forward nonetheless let go and the waves crests will carry you to unknown shores beyond your wildest dreams or destinations let it all go and find the place of rest and peace and certain transformation