Hi and welcome.
I'm Miriam Amavi and this meditation is for moments when you feel behind in life or for grieving what could have been and for when dreams fall apart.
It's so healing and so soothing to acknowledge your pain rather than trying to fix yourself or trying to fix your life but really the first step is actually to hold yourself in this pain to acknowledge this pain and to give yourself compassion.
You're human so find a comfortable place where you can sit or even lay down if that feels safer for you.
Just come into your body maybe place your hands on your heart or on your heart and your belly.
Maybe tilt your head towards your heart so you can bring your awareness inward a little bit better and now bring to mind this feeling of falling behind in life,
Of not having been successful enough,
Not having done or experienced enough,
This grief of wondering if you've chosen the wrong path,
If you missed something.
Just let this feeling bubble up for as much as feels safe,
As much as you can hold in this moment.
Maybe you feel this pain of that your life didn't turn out as you would have liked it to or a relationship didn't turn out as you hoped it would.
Maybe you had dreams that did not come to fruition,
That fell apart.
Whatever this feeling is of not being in the place where you wanted to be,
Not being in the place you hoped you would be,
What happens when you settle in here,
Right here where you feel the pain of all that what could have been,
What you could have done,
What you could have experienced but for whatever reasons couldn't.
Notice how you hold yourself here in this moment.
Maybe you start to rock yourself from left to right like a small babe that needs your loving attention,
That's crying and needs your soothing presence because this pain that you're feeling is valid.
Of course you would feel this way.
Of course you wanted it to be different.
Of course it hurts when dreams fall apart,
When plans you so were looking forward to and feel your hands on your body,
Their warmth,
How you are holding yourself.
Maybe you want to hug yourself,
Tell yourself I know.
Whispering this into the darkest,
Most lonely places within you.
I know it hurts.
I know.
I know you want to change something right now.
I know you want to numb this pain but it is okay.
But it is okay.
See what happens when you tell yourself this.
It is okay.
I am here now.
If it feels like you can't muster up any compassion for this pain that you're feeling,
For this part of you that feels this pain,
You can imagine this pain as a little baby animal that lies in your hands,
That needs your tender loving care and talk to this worried part within you,
This part that feels this pain.
I know you feel scared.
I'm here with you.
You're allowed to feel what you feel because what you feel is important.
You are important.
Your well-being is important to me.
Your pain is important to me.
I hear you.
I see you and I love you.
It's okay now because in this moment the only important thing is that you allow yourself,
All of yourself,
All worried parts to feel whatever they feel because if we always push away what hurts within,
We only hurt ourselves more and these suffering parts within us want to be heard so bad they will get louder and louder and we'll need more distraction and more distraction to quiet them.
But dear one,
This does not bring healing.
Healing can only begin when we bring compassion to ourselves.
Really look at what hurts and feel what this kind of understanding for your parts does to your inner world.
Maybe it feels like you're breaking open a crack where the light enters you.
Maybe you feel a little bit lighter or relieved or maybe you don't feel very different at all.
That's okay.
All is allowed here.
Sometimes our mind-body system does not feel safe enough to feel the pain.
Just give yourself time and compassion and you will get there.
You can always come back to this meditation.
Have somebody hold your hand while you're feeling your feelings and know that in this moment often life does not make sense but in a few weeks or even a few years when you look back it will all make sense.
So what if you have to be here and live through this in order to get to a place where you're deeply happy?
What if that will be even more joyful,
More aligned for you than what you hoped for?
What if this feeling of falling behind in life is not you falling behind?
It's just that you are finding a path that is more uniquely yours that does not look like everybody else's.
But this is the path that brings you most growth and healing and no dear one change will come.
Pain will pass and know you're already okay even if it doesn't seem like it.
All my love goes out to you and now you can slowly wiggle your fingertips and your toes come back open your eyes maybe thank yourself for doing this meditation for listening to your inner world for bringing compassion to what's aching inside and I thank you very deeply for doing this meditation here with me.
I'm so grateful you let me be your guide.
I am Miriam Amavi and I'm wishing you a wonderful day.
Bye.
