Hi,
This is Laurie from Mindful Return,
Here to share with you some thoughts on work-related travel as a working parent.
Now that things have opened up a bit since the pandemic started,
I've been going on more work trips lately,
And it's got me thinking about working parent work travel again.
I've had a complicated but likely completely normal relationship with work travel over the past decade since I became a working mom.
My first trip,
After having a baby,
Which happened when my oldest was about six months old,
Was full of tears and hormones,
But of course,
Ultimately,
Everyone turned out just fine.
Until my oldest son was about two years old,
I often took both my baby and my self-employed husband with me on trips that lasted longer than two nights.
I really loved not having to pump as much or separate from him at night,
And we had some really great adventures together in Denver and San Francisco in particular.
We gave up that habit though when he turned two,
And it started to cost us money to buy an extra plane ticket.
My second child was also born around that time,
And the prospect of going on a work-related trip with all four of us was too much for me to get my brain around.
As my kids grew,
They're now 12 and almost 10,
I came to enjoy most of my work-related travel.
A majority of my trips were domestic,
And they were only for a day or two or three at a time.
The change of scenery always did me good,
As did the opportunity to simply be alone in a quiet hotel room.
My small suitcase,
Journal,
And yoga mat were my companions,
And for many years,
All the journal entries I wrote were marked as being written from airport waiting areas.
And then COVID struck,
And travel ceased.
My mixed feelings about work travel continued during the pandemic.
Initially,
I was really happy about the prospect of not getting on a plane,
Or having my heartstrings tugged at when I left my boys.
But as the days of lockdown and remote school turned into weeks,
Which turned into months,
I started to crave the travel again.
Not necessarily the miles and the airports themselves,
But the re-finding of myself that came with each trip.
In the dark depths of that pandemic winter in that first year,
I had declared openly to anyone who would listen to me that I would literally give my right arm for a single night in a random holiday inn in the middle of anywhere.
I thought that my first post-vaccination trip would happen recently,
But then different COVID variants struck,
And that got,
You know,
Postponed.
And now,
As things are opened up,
I'm back on the road again.
I went on my first post-COVID work trip not that long ago,
Wearing my lawyer hat,
And I went to visit a health system in Pennsylvania.
The distance from Washington,
D.
C.
,
Where I live,
Was in that gray zone between whether it made more sense for me to fly or to drive.
But given the COVID risk and my recent experience driving across the country with my family,
I figured that the four-ish hour car ride wasn't actually that daunting.
So I drove.
I was only gone for a night.
And with meetings that started at 7.
30 a.
M.
,
I didn't exactly spend much time in a quiet hotel room.
But it was something.
It was a start.
It was a reminder of what it can feel like to be somewhere alone overnight.
A sweet taste in my mouth that reminded me how delicious work travel can actually be.
I love my boys dearly,
And being with them every single night for about 20 months was a lot.
We all need a break,
And it was so good to get one.
Everything,
Of course,
Went just fine while I was gone.
The hardest part was probably deciding what to wear on the trip,
Given I hadn't had any reason to look professional from head to toe in a good year and a half.
I want to share with you now four trips about work travel and the guilt that can often accompany it as a working parent.
Maybe you're returning a bit to work travel soon,
Or perhaps you became a parent during the pandemic and you've never had a work travel experience while also having a little one at home.
To you,
I offer the following four reminders.
One,
All of your feelings are normal.
Guilt,
Sadness,
Glee,
Relief,
Terror,
All of it,
All of those feelings are normal.
Name them,
Sit with them,
And realize that they will move in and out like waves in an ocean.
Two,
Your travel gives space for the other child and caregiver relationships to flourish.
Going away on a work trip when my oldest son was six months old was probably the best thing I could have done for the relationship between my husband and our baby.
It is normal for villages to support our little ones,
And your travel gives other caregivers space to find their own way of doing things.
Number three,
Use your trip as a way to reconnect with yourself.
Bring a journal with you,
Use the car ride or airport waiting time to call a friend or a family member you haven't connected with in a while.
Read a novel that you've been dying to crack open.
You have permission to enjoy the time away.
And number four,
Some employers will pay for child care if you bring your baby with you.
I have spoken with parents who have been able to negotiate having their employer pay for the cost of bringing a nanny to a required conference,
For example,
And I've spoken to moms who have traveled abroad and whose employers have paid for local child care in their business trip destination.
You never know unless you ask.
Regardless of where you are headed on your work trip or for how long,
You can take comfort in knowing that other working parents have wrestled with these issues before,
And you can know that you and your child will be just fine.
Bon voyage!
