Hey there and welcome.
I'm Micaela Ellis and I'd love to share a story which actually relates to Insight Timer and it relates to a number of things.
Faith is one of the things and well let me just dive in.
Here's what happened.
So I really am quite comfortable on camera and I do a lot of candid talks either with other people or on my own in different groups and I just allow source my true nature to just flow through me.
I may be presented with a subject and something rises up from within me to respond to it basically just on how I see it,
The nature of it,
How it looks to me.
So it's my own personal reflection on it.
It's my own relationship to that subject and I'll speak to relationship a little bit later.
So this is what happened.
When I first learned about Insight Timer and I've actually had the app for quite a while and then the idea came to my mind about becoming a teacher and I thought oh my gosh like this is perfect for me like this so this is like this will feel like just like I'll be in my element because it'll be talking about things that are meaningful to me that I've seen something about fresh and new and that I have already seen that has helped other people through these situations,
Circumstances,
Thinking storms that can happen and can interfere with a delightful experience of our life.
So I was just so excited and so grateful for this platform that I could come and show up on and serve to be of service and the bonus being how fun it is for me to just show up and talk about something and point people in a direction that I have learned is more helpful in having a better experience of life in all aspects of life.
So you know there are some requirements and I met the requirements and did my first two tracks and you know got some decent reviews and that was I'm really grateful for that thank you if you are one of those but I noticed that it didn't flow as easy when I created those first two tracks it was it was a little bit clunky for me and after I submitted them you know I realized that well you know what like it's the camera I like the camera I'm I'm better when I can look into a camera and I know that people are going that I'm actually talking to people and often I go live so when I go live I don't always look to see if someone's watching like viewing if it's on Facebook or a different platform but I always have the intention of just I'm speaking to someone I can I know that I'm looking into their eyes when I'm looking into the camera so there is like a connection that I feel on video that when I was just speaking into a microphone for insight timer the tracks I was missing that connection I thought oh wow okay that's it okay the next time I do a a talk I'm going to have a camera in front of me and I'm gonna speak into the camera and I'll record it also on I have an app that I record it in and I'll record it in there too so it has better quality for inside timer so I did that and I realized quite quickly it's like oh my goodness I have so much thinking about doing these recordings in this different platform like I need to do it right this is so curious to me and frustrating truthfully I was very so this past weekend it's a it's it's a Tuesday when I'm recording this and since Friday I've been sort of in and out of my thinking on this and getting like putting pressure on myself that first of all I need to create some new tracks and for some reason like I have hundreds I tell you hundreds and hundreds of ideas of talks on all sorts of things that have come up at least a hundred of them just in the last week but I could feel this resistance I had a conversation with someone about it today to break this apart and see what on earth is going on like why all of a sudden when I'm very comfortable speaking about something just kind of out of the blue that comes up from inside me to be spoken about and just speak into whatever how whatever I see about it to this place of I'm stilted and I'm awkward and I or at least this is what it feels like to me and it feels like I'm missing things I'm not doing a good job it's like I should take those down just so much craziness and craziness I say because when you truly understand that you're only experiencing the feeling of your thoughts you know that whatever you're experiencing like this frustration and pressure it's like that's me because I'm experiencing that I know that I'm having frustrating thoughts and I'm having pressure thoughts thinking pressure thoughts thinking about pressure putting pressure on myself and that's why I'm experiencing it so I have to step back and just see what it is that I'm making mean differently about this and I could I could see it I just I kind of felt like because when you first begin you need to get approved right every track is approved by the wonderful people at insight timer they listen to every one of them no one no teacher can just pop something on there without it being reviewed by someone to make sure that it is good for you on insight timer I so appreciate that I had a point right it was being approved this whole idea of looking for someone's approval oh my goodness I was just I'm surprised by how much I was affected by this idea of looking for approval to be me you know and what what happened then because I was seeking someone's approval because I had to be approved before I could ever become a teacher what happened was I became someone else I started to get caught up in my personal mind thinking I started to get caught up in my thoughts I started to lose connection with my true nature who I really am how I enjoy showing up in the world pure real raw candid honest as honest as I can be and I like to share stories maybe sometimes I overshare I'm you know I'm getting better at that and really keeping it to what is helpful so I hope this was actually helpful for me to share this experience because it can happen to anyone at any time of day about anything and even when you're you might feel really grounded and just really clear on who you are and maybe most places that you show up in your world you show up as you you're comfortable with who you are and you show up in that way and then and then all of a sudden I love all of a sudden stories all of a sudden you're met with this surprising situation and it's like what is going on what sparked something in my mind what thought did I grab on to that I'm making meaning of that's preventing me from showing up in a true to me way using my voice and not trying to be something or anything other than me just allowing that are my source energy to just flow through me yeah that can happen that can happen as long as we're human that is going to happen you and I will forget we'll get caught up in our thinking about something we'll forget that we are lived and and by source energy that it is flowing through us 24-7 it is always guiding us and all we need do is allow it allow it to lead allow it to be expressed through us when we do it is easy it is ah it's delightful things just flow and when we're resisting it like I was because I was all of a sudden I got caught up in my mind thinking that who I need to do good I need to do a good job here and then all of a sudden I pinched off the flow of my of my my inner wisdom what occurred to me in in this whole thing is I have faith and knowing actually let me talk about this faith and knowing there are areas of in my life where I just know that I'm good I get it source is living through me I can I can trust that and that is the greater part of me so I can trust myself here I can trust that I can go live in all these other groups that I go live in and I can trust that I'm just gonna know something is going to occur to me I will know what to say and I know it will be pure and authentic and if there's something that pops in that is not authentic I will know immediately because I'm going to feel a little bit of strain maybe a little bit of anxiety maybe a little bit of stress but when I'm just allowing source to flow through me and you know speak the words that come out of my mouth guide the words that I speak I guess would be a way to put it that feels good and it feels easy and it's fun and it's fun now there are areas in my life and you know doing businessy type things is one of the areas where I need to have faith I need to have that source is still guiding me is still there is still an active co-creative participant in what I'm creating in my life even though in that area currently there's some things that look tricky that look like ooh I'm not sure if I know how to do that or what's required there and that's what happened with this doing recordings for insight timer but I didn't know sometimes it's sneaky sometimes hmm you're not aware it's like subconsciously I was caught in this energy of looking for approval and then I I it detracted from who I am so now I'm just I'm just aware of it now so I'm doing this recording you know it's pretty raw I'm being really honest with you I've got three tracks up now I did do one yesterday I felt a little bit strained in it it's actually okay it could have been meatier let's say and but it's okay I hope this is helpful in how I'm sharing this and that you can take from this that there are times when things are going to feel just really easy and that's when you know you're in flow you're in flow with the universe that's living through you and then there are times where things are just gonna be ah they're just gonna feel effortful and sticky and you know like for me this weekend it was very frustrating because come on Micaela you know that you're just making all this you're just making this up in your mind to mean something like to mean something and I never I never like just sat down to explore okay what meaning am I making of it and truthfully I don't know if I could have done it on my own I maybe I could have for some reason I didn't and I had I have my own coach and I had a session with her today and like five minutes into talking with her sharing it's just like oh my gosh I know exactly what it is I'm looking for approval so as soon as I think that I need that I need to meet someone else's approval I'm I'm trying to be more more than what I am and I I am all that I am this is it this is all I can't be anything more I hope this serves another I'm just gonna share this with you because it was very exciting for me to become clear about something I have had many insights around my body and my relationship to my body from starting a couple of years ago so over the past two years I've seen so much fresh and new around body and it just made sense because I can you know help people but see more things and that's one of my intents on this platform is to help you to see through the many stories that we've been conditioned to innocently make up around what our body means and our relationship to it and what we need to do in the world in order to be acceptable in our body so but one of the things that I kind of kept getting caught on is but there's so much more like once people see through that they're only ever in relationship with their thought not with the body not with your partner not with your job not with your kids or your parents or your siblings or your families or the you know the the neighbor down the street you're only ever in relationship with your own thoughts and once you see that then we can create delightful things in that it just opens everything up it just many problems that seem like problems a moment before can simply fall away and what occurred to me this morning in this feeling of like I really want to just help people to see past all of that really quickly so we can get on to the good stuff get on to the creating the experiences you know being a you know rather than seemingly have life happen to you to see that you're the creator and you can create anything that you truly desire let your true nature flow through you and it will create a magnificent experience of life for you that you never could even imagine it's infinite energy of course you are infinite energy which means infinite potential which actually means I heard one description of it that you could have 20 or 30 more lifetimes and you still won't that still won't be enough time to express all that you are because all that you are is infinite infinite this is exciting so what I became clear on this morning is I I really want to just help people see that they're only ever in relationship with their thoughts with their own thinking that changes everything thanks for listening I'm Micaela it's been a pleasure an absolute pleasure to be here with you to speak so candidly I hope it lands well with you and is helpful in some way if there is something you would like to share I would love to hear it if you have questions or comments or maybe other topics that you would love for me to dive deeper on I would love to do that and yeah your reviews are welcome too so I want to be of the highest service to you so we'll see you again real soon ciao
