And when we're coming in and feeling the body it's very much about being with what is right directly experiencing what it is that's happening right now like whatever it is that's happening is what's happening And so much of the time,
What we're doing,
Because the separate self is all about changing the experience,
Right?
It's always about looking for a better experience,
And I can't experience this.
The separate self is always looking for a better experience.
It doesn't want to be with what's here.
It wants something better.
It always wants something better,
Or even if it's having a good experience,
It wants to hold on to it.
And that is suffering.
Always looking for a different experience.
Because it's never ending.
It's never ending.
And so the peace that we say that we want to know,
That we want to feel,
Is not something that we can get.
It's not something that we can hold on to.
It's not something that we can apply effort.
To get to.
But by becoming aware.
Of what it is that's happening in this moment and really connecting more into the body.
So again,
That's why we did the meditation.
And I will upload this meditation separately because we do seem to collectively have a bit of a challenge feeling the body.
Coming into feeling what's here.
We're so used to resisting what's here.
We're so used to pushing down on what's here and fighting it.
So on the one hand,
There's an unpleasant sensation in the body.
We're getting even tighter around it.
And the mind is on one hand pushing it down and on the other hand saying,
I need to feel something better.
And then we wonder why we feel.
So frazzled,
Why we feel so overwhelmed,
Why our nervous system is so agitated,
Because we're fighting what it is that's happening.
And yet,
Whenever we come into our body,
And we do start to feel,
And we have that sense of curiosity about what it is that we're feeling in the body,
Really coming into the sensations and noticing.
I do notice they get very slippery the closer you get to them.
It's like,
Oh,
It feels like this heaviness,
And then it's like,
Oh,
It starts to move a little bit.
And in that,
You're really seeing,
Oh,
Yeah,
It's just changing.
It's changing,
Right?
And even in chronic pain when it feels like,
Oh my god,
This isn't leaving,
Right?
The closer you get to it,
What you notice is that that heavy density that you first feel starts to feel like,
Oh no,
There's even shifting and changing in here.
And yeah,
The sensations start to get a little more intense and then they start to back off a little bit.
And there's a sense,
Because you're not clamping down on it anymore,
You're giving it room.
While it still may not be pleasant,
And I know this with my back,
I can feel that kind of unpleasant sensations,
But you're not fighting it.
And there's a sense of openness and ease and peace.
When you are here with what's here,
Because we're not fighting our experience and we're not telling ourselves,
I need to have another experience.
And I think this is what everyone is running around all day.
The separate self is running around saying all day,
I need to get a better experience.
But the experience we're having is the one that's happening.
And we just keep fighting it.
In looking for the better experience and thinking that we're going to find the peace in the better experience,
But grasping has never brought us peace.
Clinging,
Holding on to,
Trying to hold on to that which is impermanent has never brought us peace.
This is why the Buddha says the three characteristics of existence,
Everything is impermanent,
Including us.
Everything is ultimately dissatisfying because you can't hold on to anything,
And yet we keep trying to.
And the third characteristic of existence is that there is no independent separate self.
There's sentience,
But there is no independent separate self that could possibly hold on to anything.
And so we're really,
What we're doing here.
Is not trying to kind of force a belief on top of another belief.
Because you can't do that.
You can't do that.
But we're trying to see directly ourselves that,
In fact,
Everything is just always changing.
We're always changing.
Our feelings,
Sensations in the body is always changing.
Our hormones are changing.
Our neurochemistry is changing.
I mean,
Everything is constantly changing.
And yet the separate self,
The thinking of the me,
Thinking of me as an independent solid me,
Is always trying to hold on to something and trying to get everything to be one thing.
And you just can't do it.
You just can't do it.
It just creates more tension in the body,
More unease in the body because we were never here.
Mine's always somewhere else.
I always need to get to somewhere else.
Never here.
And all we're doing is training our minds to say,
Oh yes,
It's always somewhere else.
It's never here.
There's a quote,
And I've just been,
I don't know,
This quote's been kind of popping into my head a lot lately,
And I think I've changed it a little bit,
But.
I don't even know who said it,
But humans are the only animals that the more you feed them,
The more they want.
That the more we get,
The more we want,
The more we desire,
The more we want.
And it's really,
It's wanting these experiences and wanting to feel better in the future or just in the next moment.
We're not feeling what's here now,
And we're not feeling good.
We don't feel good.
When our mind is somewhere else and telling us that we should be somewhere else and our body's being left behind here in the present moment,
It does not feel good,
That disconnect.
And so coming into the body,
Mindfulness of the body,
Mindfulness of feelings.
Being able to really get closer to what it is that we're feeling.
What you notice,
Because that is direct experience,
That is directly experiencing the world,
What you're feeling,
Right?
Whether it's our feelings,
Or seeing,
Or hearing,
Or smelling,
Or tasting,
I mean,
This is how we experience the world.
Right?
Some species have 10 ways of sensing the world.
Some have two.
This is the way we sense it.
And feeling,
Because we live in such a constant state of agitation,
We're so used to it.
We are so used to being this coiled up,
Uh agitated arising,
We're so used to doing it,
We don't even notice it anymore.
It's so familiar,
We don't even notice it.
And this makes it particularly hard for us when there really is something challenging going on,
Because just our everyday experience we don't want to feel,
Let alone when something really is happening,
When we're experiencing some severe pain or difficulty or illness or someone we love is or we're losing someone.
We don't know how to be with our basic everyday experience,
Let alone be with the really challenging,
Difficult moments of our lives.
So feeling coming in more,
Being here with what's here,
Noticing what it is that we're feeling.
Opening up to what it is that we're feeling has a very dramatic effect.
On our experience in that moment,
A hugely dramatic effect.
We're not clamping down,
We're not trying to get somewhere else.
And it teaches us.
It's like we're learning again.
We have to unlearn the living in our heads and start to learn how to live in presence.
Presence isn't somewhere to get to.
Right?
This is another thing we think to.
I'm going to get to presence.
You're not getting to presence.
You can't get to presence.
There's nothing to get to presence.
There is simply presence.
There's just presence.
Right?
It's not something that we can apply effort to.
It's not something that we can,
Uh,
Force to happen.
It's what's always here.
It's just that our attention is always somewhere else.
And so much of our our pattern of thinking is trying to get out of our current experience and into another experience.
So learning to come in and feel,
Learning to be here in the body.
It's grounding,
It feels safe because most of us are safe.
Most of us are safe.
But if we're clamping down on how we're feeling and thinking I need to feel something else,
That doesn't feel safe.
Right?
It's to recognize that pattern.
Yeah,
That doesn't feel safe.
But you come in and you feel,
And the nervous system starts to feel more relaxed because you're here with what's happening.
You're not fighting experience anymore and the peace.
Is revealed because the peace is always available,
Always here and now.
It's just our attention is not.
We're fighting.
We're fighting too much.
We spend too much of our time fighting our experience and trying to have another experience.
And so even in the unpleasant sensations.
Even in the disappointment,
In the sadness,
In the grief,
In the.
.
.
Loneliness and the unworthiness,
Whatever it is that we are feeling.
And everything that we are feeling is a completely valid feeling.
If it's what's happening,
It's what's happening,
Right?
Normal human emotion.
And then with wisdom and compassion,
We come in and we feel it and we explore it.
And we can bring self-compassion and talking kindly to it,
Because you will always feel more safe and at ease when you are moving closer,
When you are directly here in your experience.
It is that disconnection of not feeling what's here,
Fighting what's here,
And always wanting to have a different experience that gives us such a sense of not feeling safe,
A feeling I'm missing out because everyone else is probably having the experience that I want to have.
There's probably not going to be enough left for me,
Right?
That's what creates such a sense of discontentment inside of us,
But learning to be with what is.
Not trying to control the world.
Not trying to control everything around us.
We're not trying to control how we're feeling.
We're just coming in and being with what is.
And that has a remarkable effect.
On subsequent actions,
When we are acting out of presence,
Because of course,
One moment is conditioning the next moment,
Is conditioning the next moment.
If we're acting out of a place of grasping,
I need more,
I need more,
FOMO,
I need more,
Right?
Then that is what's influencing what it is that we're going to do in the next moment,
Whether I'm agreeing to do something simply because I'm afraid,
What if I miss out even though I don't really feel like doing it.
Or maybe I do want to do it,
But there's a fear the other way.
So,
I mean,
There's always the grasping mindset.
If that's what's influencing you in that moment,
Generally the decisioning that's happening out of that is leading towards more suffering.
Because we're trying to get something to feel whole inside.
But what we find is you can't.
You can't fill.
You can't fill this seemingly aching hole inside of us that needs more,
Because in fact there is no aching hole.
But when you're here with what's here,
When you're present with what's here.
Whatever sensations using whatever sensations are here to ground into ground your attention here to directly experience what's happening the only way you can through the five senses The knee.
The actions that tend to come out of that are much more aligned in peace and harmony.
Maybe instead of reaching for your phone,
You reach for a book.
Maybe instead of reaching for the remote control,
You think I'll go for a walk,
Or I'll do the dishes,
Or maybe I want to clean up that project I've been thinking about,
Or I'll go out into the garden.
So instead of looking for these short-term pleasures,
Or,
Oh,
Maybe I'll go shopping online,
Maybe I'll do something to try and fill this aching hole up inside of me,
Because the grasping is never enough,
The more you feed it,
The more it wants.
It's never enough.
But instead,
Because you come into the body and you feel,
And the more practice that we get it,
The more In tune we are with the body.
Oh.
The actions that then tend to follow,
Because it's not like we just lie on the sofa and don't do anything,
But they tend to just be much more harmonious.
Because I'm not trying to get something anymore.
I'm not trying to get something out of life.
Life is what's happening.
This is it.
This is it.
And yet we're always trying to get something more and change it.
Change the current experience,
But whatever it is you're feeling is changing.
Is constantly changing and yes we experience pleasant sensations and we experience unpleasant sensations and we experience a lot of neither pleasant nor unpleasant which when you're not grasping at any of that i could actually i would even argue as more of it's kind of going towards the pleasant because there's this sense of openness and spaciousness and not trying to feed that insatiable beast you'll never fill it up You'll never fill it up.
So FOMO,
Like you said there,
T,
FOMO is very much of the separate self.
That sense of me,
Like you can be lying on the sofa.
Let's say you have had a tough day.
Let's say you're tired and it is time for some relaxation and you just want to kick back for a little bit and like,
Yeah,
We need those days,
Right?
So you're lying on the sofa and you're just like,
Oh,
Thank goodness,
Thank goodness.
I can just sit here and relax right now.
And then you get a text from someone saying,
Hey,
Everyone's getting together to go do something.
And immediately the sense of,
Well,
I don't want to miss out,
But I'm so tired.
But I should go,
Because what will they think?
But I'm so tired,
Right?
And then how many times people push themselves beyond,
You know,
Beyond their.
.
.
Their physical capacity,
Right,
Putting too many things in our calendar,
Racing from one thing to the next,
Drive with this driving force of missing out and not acknowledging what it is that we need in that moment,
Because maybe we do just need to lie down for a bit.
Just read a book.
Maybe watch something on Netflix,
Right?
Nothing wrong with that,
Right?
So it does,
The FOMO,
And even the other side of this,
And Kathy,
I'm waiting for you to bring it up,
The joy of missing out,
Right?
We have to be careful of that too,
Because that can also be another side kind of Um.
.
.
Resistance.
And it's just about really being able to check in,
Notice what you're feeling.
Being here with what's here,
Not trying to change our experience,
Not trying to let that mind movement of the separate self,
Of the always needing more and not wanting to miss out,
And always trying to change our experience,
Of just noticing that more and saying,
Wow,
Look at how it's clamping down on what's here right now,
And knowing how to come in and feel that.
So that you break free of that trance that's usually pulling you in a direction that's not necessarily healthy.
Not always,
But it tends to lead us astray quite a bit.
But instead,
By coming in and feeling and feeling that sense of okayness inside,
That sense of ease,
That sense of peace,
That every time we do that,
Then,
Whatever decisioning is happening,
Is coming from a place of wholeness.
Do I do I want to go do that?
Maybe you do.
Okay yeah not because I fear I'm going to miss out but because actually yeah I'm just going to lie down for 20 minutes and then I think I'll go maybe I'll tell them I'll be a little late or something right maybe that's you know how you kind of think yeah I'll do it but not from a place of fear not from a place of grasping Or if you decide,
No,
I'm just not going to go.
I'm just happy to be at home tonight.
I just need a quiet night.
And you send off that message without the,
Oh,
What are they thinking?
Will they ever invite me again?
Right?
Because that's that mindset.
So now we start acting out of ways that are very in tune with what it is that we're feeling and what it is that we're not feeling this need to fill something up inside of us.
Because you'll never fill it up.
That sense of an aching hole is created by the separate self and then the separate self claims to have the solution for it.
So then I better go do that.
That's what it's pointing towards.
But what you find is it never fills it up.
And so really so much of this is really being able to connect into what it is that we're feeling.
Being able to feel what we're feeling in a way that is skillful and healthy.
As we did in the meditation,
Exploring it,
Having curiosity.
And the more that you get used to doing that,
As these little waves of feelings come throughout the day and all of a sudden things start to feel a little rocky,
There's just that,
The response starts to change and it's just,
Oh,
Just breathe and feel this.
Maybe you don't have a lot of time to really sit and explore it too deeply,
But it's just,
Oh,
I can just feel this and be with this.
Ah,
Yeah,
Just a little moment kind of caught you for a moment.
No problem,
Right?
It all happens to all of us.
But it's to kind of notice it more quickly and just come in and breathe mindfully.
Yeah,
For a moment I thought my happiness was over there,
I thought I had to get somewhere,
Or I thought that there was a problem because I had an unpleasant sensation in the body,
Because often too,
Sometimes it's just that unpleasant,
The familiarity of a contracted nervous system,
Of an agitated nervous system,
The familiarity of that,
Is just so often we can also just be clinging for no reason,
Right?
Didn't even start with a thought,
It was just the body's kind of used to,
Oh,
We should be paying about something and then we go,
Oh,
What's wrong in my life?
I didn't know that something was wrong.
I better go find it.
And we're just living in that constant.
Feeling as though we're constantly in survival mode when we're not.
Some people in the world for sure are,
Not everyone.
I mean there's definitely,
There are definitely people in the world,
In the Western world as too,
That are living under different conditions.
But for many of us,
We are living under pretty good conditions,
We're not millionaires,
But we're safe,
We have enough.
And yet our internal conditions are not matching our external conditions,
Because the separate self has just gotten away from us.
And a lot of it is that we haven't,
We were very unfamiliar with how to come in and feel.
And so I talk about that a lot in these,
In our Dharma talks and our Sangha comes up a lot in the Q&A.
So I thought that meditation and I put up another one recently about feeling okay in the body.
I think we might focus a little bit more on that because it still seems very challenging for people to come in and feel what's here to be with what's here.
And so the.
.
.
The habit of still chasing another experience is left to continue and the more that you start feeling what's here and noticing that yes it's just changing constantly changing it's not necessarily some interpretation of whether you're safe or not it's just sensations are changing and every time you come in and feel by the way as well there's also What's happening is there's discernment in the,
We're able to discern more easily.
Is there something to do or is there nothing to do?
It's not that we just,
Oh,
I'm just gonna,
You know,
It's not this kind of like living in denial of what's happening because every now and then there's something to do,
Right?
But again,
Not doing it from a place of grasping,
Not doing it from a place of,
Oh my God,
I need that person to forgive me so I can feel better,
Again,
Chasing the experience,
But being okay and feeling that sense of safety,
But still recognizing What's the right thing to do?
What's the right thing to do in this moment?
And is there anything to do in this moment?
So I think really it can be a real.
Good pointer for us when we're trying to change our experience.
Instead of looking out there,
Coming in here,
Coming in here and feeling what's here.
The peace that you're looking for,
Never left.
It has never for one moment not been here in presence.
All that's left has been our attention.
We're very disembodied.
We're very disconnected from what's happening.
And you're never going to satisfy the head,
The separate self,
The me.
You're never going to satisfy it.
Stop trying.
Stop trying.
It's not going to happen.
Right?
The more you can be in the body and feel what's here and breathe mindfully and use your other senses as well,
If you're tasting taste,
If you're seeing and hearing and smelling,
Really using your senses,
Being here in direct experience,
This is what direct experience directly experiencing the world,
Not without that commentator on top,
Not without narrating it,
Without interpreting it,
Directly experiencing and it's ah.
This feels so much better.
And it doesn't have an insatiable appetite.
In fact,
It really doesn't have an appetite beyond what's needed.
Beyond what's needed,
Just like the animals,
The other animals tend to live beyond what's needed.
They don't need what's beyond.
They don't need anything beyond what's needed.
Okay,
So I hope that helps a little bit on the I'm not chasing new,
Not chasing better experiences.
Whatever experience you're having,
Be with it.
You're going to find what you're looking for.
It's right here.
Go back to the comments.
And hi,
Sandy,
Good to see you.
World peace,
Yeah,
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah,
Ruth,
She was saying lately your thoughts have been trying to control,
Yeah.
Your thoughts are always trying to control,
Yeah.
And then you just,
I mean,
They're so.
Seductive,
My thoughts,
Right?
They're so alluring,
They pull us in.
And of course,
What are they trying?
They're not just informing something,
They're trying to control something.
Yeah,
Trying to control our experience.
I need that person to do that over there so I can have a better experience.
Our thoughts are always trying to,
Shouldn't say always,
Selfing thoughts,
Ego thoughts,
And I'm pointing the same thing,
The me,
The separate self,
It's always trying to control,
Yeah.
And yeah,
Mary,
And some of us do need to lie on the couch and do nothing.
Yeah,
And that's what chronic fatigue does.
Yeah,
And it's like being okay with that,
Right?
Just being able to say like,
Yeah,
And this is what I need right now.
Yeah,
Absolutely,
Absolutely.
Yeah,
And too,
So you were saying about the FOMO that that you feel torn because you feel that you,
Yeah,
You don't want to miss out.
It's a very common feeling that we have.
Because it is always this idea that the party's always better over there.
It's always better somewhere else.
Right?
I mean,
This is kind of.
.
.
Whatever it is we're doing,
We can be having a good time and then we can get a text that someone else is doing something else and immediately we think,
Oh no,
They're having a better time.
We were having a good time.
Maybe you're with some friends,
But oh,
They're at a better restaurant.
They're out on a boat.
Oh no,
I thought I was okay,
But they're actually having a better experience.
Right?
And that thought.
The thoughts arise,
Like we can't control what thoughts are going to arise.
I mean,
None of us knows what our next thought's going to be.
And there's been a lot of comparing and judging.
And a lot of.
.
.
In our society,
Our culture,
Places a lot of emphasis on things,
On achievements,
On being something special,
The individual.
So this is our culture.
This is our society.
We place a lot of emphasis on that.
And so this is a lot of what's absorbed in our mind that's conditioning us through the different types of media that we're exposed to,
Whether it's just reading in books or in movies or just talking with other people,
We see it's just this common mind movement and And while,
Of course,
To some degree,
Comparing and judging,
We all do need to be able to do a little bit,
Judge situations,
Not people,
Right,
Compare,
Maybe we can compare,
Not comparing all their life is better,
But oh,
Look how they're doing that,
Maybe that would be more interesting.
Comparing and judging in and of themselves,
Not a bad thing,
But our society has kind of really elevated it to a place where,
In fact,
You could never be satisfied.
You could never find enough.
Because even if you are the wealthiest person in the world,
You're the most attractive person in the world,
You're the most famous person in the world,
Then it's always because everything's always changing.
There's a sense,
Oh no,
Look,
Now they're looking at that person,
They're getting some attention,
Oh no,
I'm not the most important person in the world anymore.
So it never,
Again,
You could never win at that game,
But So the thoughts are there.
We can't control that.
We're not controlling anything.
But the thoughts are there.
And what we can notice in that moment is,
Oh,
The contraction.
Contraction is the telltale sign.
You're lying on the sofa,
You're perfectly content,
You're tired.
And you need to have some relaxation.
Maybe you've had a long day at work and it's time to relax.
And then all of a sudden the contraction because,
Oh no,
I should be doing something because we also think we should be productive at every moment,
Right?
And if I should never allow myself to relax,
It's amazing how much we can spend all day long thinking,
Having so much to do and then thinking,
Oh,
If I could just get to the end of the day and relax on the sofa.
And then we get there and we don't relax.
We start going over the day,
Looking for problems,
Or Or just thinking,
Oh,
My God,
I should be productive.
Look at me being lazy.
Everyone else is probably doing something.
So that contraction that comes in,
And then again,
Maybe it's just someone said something,
They're doing something,
And all of a sudden,
The sense of,
Oh,
I'm missing out,
You can't prevent that from happening.
And let's just all be very clear on that.
We can't prevent that from happening.
It happens here too,
Right?
But it's the programming of the separate self.
It's not me.
It's just the programming of the separate self.
And this is why I do feel that a path of negation is really truly the path,
Or an effective path,
I should say,
Because it's the seeing it and going,
Oh,
There it is.
There's just that comparing thought.
It's not my comparing thought.
I didn't ask for it.
I didn't want it for sure.
And then come in and feel.
And you just feel that,
Wow,
Look at what I'm feeling inside,
Right?
As you start to get closer to it,
Not in a judgmental way,
But it's kind of like,
It's a bit of a light bulb moment,
Like,
Oh my God,
Look at how quickly my body just seized up on them.
And as you're with it and you're feeling it,
And it's starting to feel a little bit more or a little less solid,
There's a little more spaciousness and ease.
And as you inquire,
And I think this can be particularly helpful as we're using the RAIN acronym,
So we recognize what's happening,
We're allowing the feelings,
Inquire and what else is here,
Right?
The comparing at the top and then,
Oh,
The feeling there's not gonna be enough for me.
Yeah,
Yeah,
Okay,
Sweetheart,
There's room for you too.
Yeah,
Because there is that little seed in there of just,
Oh,
What about me,
Right?
And we bring kindness to it.
We bring compassion to it.
We don't push it away.
And we allow the feelings.
And we allow it to be here.
And then,
Wow,
We're out of the grip.
Of the FOMO of the comparing or whatever it is,
We're out of the grip because we came into the body.
And we realize then,
Oh yeah,
I don't need to do anything.
I'm perfectly happy here on the sofa.
That's just the programming that I always need to be productive.
That's the programming that I'm missing out.
It's not me.
It's not me.
And we kind of step off that out of the hamster wheel that everyone's on trying to find the end solution.
And you're just,
You're okay being.
You're okay being just being You don't turn into a vegetable,
You don't turn into mush and don't ever want to do anything,
But the motivation,
The intention for doing things isn't to get something,
Not to,
I got to change my experience,
There's something wrong with my experience,
There's something wrong with me.
You're coming from a place of wholeness now.
Too much of the time we're motivated,
Our decisioning is happening out of a place of lack and unworthiness and missing out.
And so,
You know,
Of course we're going to keep following the programming of what everyone else is doing then.
It's not working.
I mean,
It's not working.
I think we've all seen.
We've all tried.
It doesn't work.
And so it's finding,
It allows us to find this path of balance.
Yeah,
You know,
We can't be everything to everyone and expect to be healthy ourselves.
Right?
We can't be best friends with everyone in the world.
We can't be available to everyone at every moment.
You just can't do it.
You will not be healthy.
So it's really about just being able to find that sense of balance,
That sense of wholeness within that allows us to act when,
Yeah,
Acting out if that feels right,
That feels aligned,
Or I do have energy and this person needs help,
Yeah,
That feels good,
I can go do that.
Yeah.
But being able to say no without feeling like,
Oh my God,
I'm a terrible person.
Because if our actions and our decisioning are coming out of places of lack,
We're going to burn out.
We're going to burn out,
And you're never going to find what you're looking for.
So it's okay that the thoughts are there.
We can't stop them,
But we notice them,
Right?
And then we use our practice and nurture the feelings and then also self-inquiry.
To whom does that fear of missing out belong?
Because there is no solid,
Independent,
Person behind the experience.
There is nothing solid and independent behind this.
I'm not saying there's nothing here.
Right?
There's sentience here,
There's thinking here,
There's feeling here,
There's hearing here,
There's seeing here,
There's memory happening here,
Decisioning happening here,
But it's just that everything is activity.
A process.
And this isn't just a Buddhist philosophy.
Every Western scientist would tell you the same thing.
Every physicist would tell you,
There is nothing solid in the universe.
Everything is activity.
But the separate self sees itself as a solid independence,
Me,
Separate me,
Me,
The center of the universe.
What do I want?
What do I need?
I'm the center of the universe.
And that's just,
That's not seeing things clearly.
And from that view of me as the center of the universe,
I'm lacking I need something to change my experience.
I need more,
I just need more.
It's insatiable and yet you will never feel whole.
Never!
And that view.
And what we would say from a Buddhist Stand point.
This is what we're trying to see.
This is how you've seen things through the lens.
You're seeing the world and yourself through this lens of being a separate,
Solid,
Independent me,
The center of the universe.
That's not reality.
The nature of reality is that everything is interconnected,
Interdependent,
And changing moment by moment by moment.
That there is nothing to hold on to.
Nothing to cling to.
There's nothing here that could actually get something in the future.
That's just part of the illusion.
And it's part of the illusion that keeps us in the little hamster wheel,
Because everyone else is doing it.
And we see everyone's burning out.
Everyone's spinning their wheels.
They're self-medicating.
They're taking all sorts of things to try and change their experience or dull their experience or you know always trying to control things because there's this idea of me at the center and if I could just change this I could finally be happy.
I could finally feel worthy.
I could finally feel enough.
I could finally start living my life.
But you won't,
Because you'll get that next thing,
And then it'll be another and another and another.
And so this is what we're trying to see.
We're not trying to become something.
We're not trying to become something special.
We're not trying to become a new person.
We're not trying to become improved.
That's all part of the separate self.
It's material,
Trying to become something new.
It's simply to see,
Ah,
There's the judging,
There's the comparing,
There's the chasing,
There's the resisting.
There's the doubting to see what you are not.
So to your point,
Shannon,
There about what's negation,
That's negation.
Seeing what you're not reveals what is here.
If you think you are becoming something on this path.
That's the separate self,
Thinking it's becoming something on the path,
Becoming more spiritual and becoming more I'm enlightened,
I'm becoming more holy,
I'm becoming more superior.
It's just the spiritual ego.
It's the spiritual ego.
This isn't becoming anything.
In fact,
What it's really seeing is that just.
.
.
There is no one here.
No one,
No thing.
No thing.
Not nothing,
No thing to improve.
No thing that needs to become something.
Because that is missing the point.
You're still lost in the illusion if that's what you're thinking.
And that's why these practices are really helping us to let go of the trance of this illusion of becoming something,
Of changing our experience,
Of becoming something better in the future.
Finally going to be my perfect self.
I'm 61 years old,
Still haven't found it,
Because that doesn't exist.
Thinking we could get somewhere and land and just stay there.
You can't.
Everything's changing.
Everything's changing.
And so the practice is really helping us to come in to feel and notice,
Wow,
Even those sensations,
They're changing.
Well and under one sensation is another sensation you know another or another another unmet wound maybe that needs our attention and we we we tend to that and then it moves through us and the the more that you're directly experiencing the world sight sound feeling tasting smelling The more that you're experiencing the world directly,
You're like,
There's not a problem.
You've been thinking.
It's not a problem.
Because you're not constantly listening to every thought that's happening.
You're not constantly giving fuel to it.
You're seeing it more.
Oh,
Yeah,
There it is.
There's the comparing.
No problem.
No problem.
Just,
That's kind of,
It's programming,
That's what it does.
It's not me.
Right?
Or there's the judging.
Or there's the chasing.
There's the missing out,
The fear of missing out.
Like,
You know,
We,
Oh,
It's me.
There's something wrong with me because I did that.
No.
It's kind of these are all the thoughts that are around and the mind movements and from our culture.
This is the soup that we're in.
But we're starting to see the soup and go,
Oh,
Yeah,
That recipe's not very,
That recipe's not making anything real good.
And it's not reality.
The nature of reality.
Is that everything is changing,
Interdependent,
Interconnected.
Empty of inherent existence.
And that's what we're seeing.
And every time you come in and you feel.
And you get closer to what's here.
And then for those of you that have done this for a while,
Asking the question,
To whom do those thoughts belong?
To whom do those feelings belong?
Really shining a light on the me that you take to be real and true,
And now asking,
Well,
Who?
What?
Where is it?
And now looking for it.
And seeing for yourself,
Actually there wasn't anything there,
It was just a thought.
Series of thoughts that kept implying something neat,
Something was needed by someone.
And then you're seeing,
Actually,
This is just an ever-changing,
Interdependent,
Interconnected arising.
Memories happening,
Thinking happening,
Decisioning happening,
Feeling happening,
Thinking,
I think I said thinking happening,
Doing happening.
But no solid entity behind the experience.
No doer,
No thinker,
No decision maker.
Just this arising here.
Trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions of conditions arising in this moment based on all of you as we're arising in each moment the words coming out of this mail all of these trillions of things that are happening and aren't happening.
But this moment arises,
No two moments repeated.
This moment arises and changes and changes and changes.
There's nothing that we could hang on to.
There's nowhere that we could possibly land and stay.
And the freedom is seeing that.
But it's got to be directly seen.
It's not something that you can hear.
I can point you in the direction.
And this is what teachers are doing.
We're pointing.
We're pointing.
Don't mistake the finger for the moon.
If I'm pointing at the moon,
I'm pointing at something.
I'm pointing at something that cannot be named.
That cannot be known as a concept in the mind.
But in seeing what you're not,
Because you're not becoming something else.
What you are is revealed.
Practices do work.
But we got to use them.
We got to use them.
Too much time,
They're sitting on the shelf.
They're sitting on the shelf still.
OK,
I'm going to go back.
Isabel,
I'm going to go to you because I saw some comments for you.
Oh,
Isabel.
So you've got.
.
.
First of all,
Hi,
Michelle.
Good to see you.
Oh,
And fibromyalgia,
Yeah.
Oh,
I'm so sorry,
Because that is a tough one.
In fact,
It's why,
Well,
One of the reasons we're not seeing Philippa today,
Because she's also having some problems,
And her fibromyalgia is also acting up based on something else that's happening.
And that,
In my understanding,
Is that because it's just kind of a gripping pain that can kind of be throughout the body that just all of a sudden gets turned on and then turned off for no apparent reason.
I think that's right.
Tell me if I'm wrong on that,
Isabel.
I think that's something.
But yeah,
As best you can come into feeling it,
Because it's here.
And we all do have,
Especially as we get older,
We all have something.
We all have something,
At least one thing.
We at least have one thing as we get older.
And I mean,
Pain is a part of getting older.
I remember seeing this.
Older man being interviewed years ago,
I think he was probably in his 70s or 80s.
And some young kid's asking him,
Puts the microphone in front of him,
And he said,
What's it like,
You know,
What does it feel like being old?
And he says,
It feels like you were tackled in a football game every,
Every,
You wake up every morning feeling like you were beaten up in a football game or something like that.
And it is true,
Like you wake up every morning,
And I feel like,
Oh,
Everything's a little slow,
And I got to go do a little movement,
Kind of open things up a little bit.
But,
You know,
It comes and goes throughout the day.
There's a little knee pain,
And there's a little hip pain,
And there's a little back pain.
And this is just,
You know,
The body,
You know,
The body.
I guess I would say just it's been used a lot and it's having its limitations or we're also getting sick or we have ailments.
We have things like fibromyalgia that,
Yeah,
As you're saying,
So a diffused pain in the body and just can kind of come on and off.
And while definitely,
I think also there's a balance in here,
Anytime we're dealing with physical pain or anything,
There's always a balance.
Of course,
Take a Tylenol if that helps,
If there's medication,
If you can take a warm bath,
If you can use a heating pad.
If you can do some stretching,
Like of course,
We can also do things as well.
We can always do things as well.
Not with the idea that like,
Oh my God,
I've got to get rid of this.
It's really important that that mind state is not coming from a place of grasping,
Of trying to change the experience.
Because it just,
It literally does,
It adds more suffering,
Right?
We have the pain of whatever the physical discomfort is,
And then the suffering of the story.
The story of,
Oh my God,
What does this mean?
Am I going to feel this all day?
Is this ever going to end?
Is this going to get worse?
Am I going to end up in the hospital later?
Like how quickly the mind can spin out of control.
And then we're clamping down even more on the pain.
And so while we can.
.
.
Yeah,
Take some Tylenol or do something like that or some movement,
Something,
But also to just to be with what's here,
To not fight it.
The fighting isn't making it better.
It's not making it better and in fact it just creates more stress in the body because we're telling ourselves i shouldn't be experiencing this and the more that we're telling ourselves we shouldn't be experiencing this and oh my god what's going to happen our brain starts releasing stress hormones and and so then our heart rates up and our blood pressure is up and our muscles are getting more tense because it perceives us to be in an immediate danger and so as you were saying is about like you you know as you come and you feel and recognizing you're safe in this moment you're safe You're safe in this moment.
Just this moment.
We're only concerned with just this moment.
Not the next mama.
Not the moment that just happened.
Just this moment,
Because I feel at least a lot of what also happens in pain is that because we're not with it,
And hopefully,
And I'd be curious to know,
Isabella,
And then Marianne,
Because I think you've got something similar.
With the meditation that we did before,
Was there a better sense of being able to get into the physical sensations that really kind of open things up?
And allowing us to still know the peace that is here in this moment.
Is neuroplastic or you mean is neurological?
Isabel.
And you're saying,
Yes,
It does help.
Yeah.
Into physical sensations,
Yeah.
So I just,
I mean,
I was,
Would have been surprised if you'd said no,
But I just wanted to hear that from someone with something like fibromyalgia,
Yeah.
Yeah i find myself like it's just it's here there's if there you know if if my hands on the hot stove and it's burning of course take my hand off the stove but if there's physical pain i've done what i can do it's getting closer into the sensations the way we were doing in the meditation of really exploring them more closely there's a because it takes your attention off the story and you truly are here in the present you're truly you're there your attention is in the present moment with what's happening in this moment.
There's no longer a clamping down on it.
And so you're no longer obscuring like,
Yeah,
This is what's happening,
You're not fighting it,
You're not trying to change it,
But you're truly there.
And there is a noticing of just what I find is just the more curiosity that we can have,
That it just,
It's like,
Oh,
There it gets,
It's a little intense.
Maybe breathe a little more deeply in that moment,
And then it's like,
Oh yeah,
Oh.
It's kind of that little like,
Oh,
Yeah,
Oh,
This is a nice moment,
You know,
But we're rarely there for the nice moment because we're so locked into the story.
And so it really helps like,
Oh,
Yeah,
And those those moments of just kind of the ride,
You know,
It's like,
Oh,
Yeah,
The intensity is backing off and it just,
Oh,
Yeah.
You know,
And then it starts to come up and you're like,
OK,
But staying in this moment,
Because it's the fear of how am I going to handle it in the next moment?
How am I going to handle it in 10 minutes,
In 20 minutes,
In an hour?
How am I going to handle this for the rest of my life?
That's what makes it overwhelming.
And that's what makes us clamp down even more,
Because now we're imagining feeling all of it in this moment.
And that creates so much anxiety for us.
Which isn't helping the situation.
And there's a.
There's a sense of freedom.
Of being able to be with what's happening that is truly liberating.
I think a lot of the times we do kind of live in fear that,
Oh,
Things are going well,
But what happens when the next shoe drops?
And but when you know like I can be with it,
I can bear,
We can bear almost anything in the present moment.
Yeah i both what you're saying marianne and abigail yeah Yeah,
And Isabel,
Yeah,
It's so.
.
.
We're very disconnected from the body.
And I often wonder how much a lot of the things that we're experiencing today are at the very least exacerbated by this disconnection.
And I think the mind-body connection is very true.
I think the mind-body disconnection is incredibly distressing,
Incredibly distressing for our nervous system.
Yeah.
So I'm glad to hear,
Isabel,
I'm glad to hear that the meditation was helping and kind of coming in and using mindfulness and meditation to come into what's here.
And Marin,
That it's helping.
Yeah.
Right?
We're not causing any harm.
We're definitely not causing any harm.
And it does,
You know,
If we can.
Ease what's happening by being with what's happening.
That's a game changer.
And great resource there,
Marion.
Thank you for sharing that.
Okay,
Let me go back here.
Yeah,
T,
Just back to what you're saying,
The feeling of not doing enough,
Getting going,
Getting moving.
And I know there are some things going on in your world and that some steps need to be taken for sure.
And uh.
.
.
And finding that balance,
Because if you're always in survival mode,
Even when you're safe that that does have an effect on our decisioning when we when we tend to reach out for short-term quick fixes and maybe we're not always making the best long-term decisioning for ourselves so um that's just as best you can again feeling what's here and again i'll put this meditation up and i know there's there's probably thousands of these meditations up on insight timer so this this is a place where having someone guiding you can be particularly helpful.
When it's kind of uncharted territory and we're not familiar with coming into the body,
It doesn't feel safe.
It often,
In fact,
Doesn't feel safe for us in the beginning.
We're so used to believing our thoughts and the story of me,
It feels so unfamiliar to come in and feel the body.
And so having someone guide you through can be particularly helpful.
It's like we're the training wheels for you until you can take the training wheels off,
Right?
And then go,
Ah,
I can do this on my own.
That you then start to feel more safe,
More comfortable being in the body.
And that you're able to be with what's here on your own,
Yeah.
Yeah,
But in the meantime,
This is what all this is,
You know.
What all these resources are here for is to help us when we need help.
And it is so wise,
So wise when we can recognize we need help.
Okay,
Abigail,
I'm going to try and jump to your questions here.
Oh,
Sorry,
I did not see that before,
That you've also just been diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
And it does affect,
Yeah,
It affects the,
You feel differently.
Yeah,
And moving a little more slowly,
Thinking a little more slowly.
And this is where.
And this is really,
This is not easy,
Especially not easy when we've just been given the news,
When it's still pretty.
Shocking to us to hear like,
Oh my gosh,
I have something like we've obviously been having symptoms for a while.
And then we hear something that we weren't expecting.
And that yes,
And I know you've been cancer free,
I think for a year now.
And,
And it can feel like my gosh,
It's just one thing piling on top of another.
And,
And yes,
These things do have an effect on how we feel and how we think and,
And,
And move through the world.
And so I'm just going to say just as best you can,
Because,
You know,
Everyone kind of has these stages of how they're going through.
How they're internalizing kind of a new stage or a new also kind of a new reality for what it is that we're experiencing.
And maybe just as best you can,
Just practicing and trying with those little moments when you notice the story of,
Well,
Wasn't that enough?
You know,
The cancer,
Oh,
Why,
That must have been,
You know,
Why,
Why this now?
And I can't do this now.
And,
And as best you can to,
To just notice that.
And try and feel that in the body and use some self-compassion there.
Self-compassion can be really helpful to say,
Oh,
Sweetheart,
This is tough.
You know,
Pet yourself.
This is what all these… We have many things,
Many tools in our school belt.
And kindness really,
And self-compassion is really kindness,
It's self-kindness.
When we're able to bring just a few words of kindness,
Just saying like,
Oh,
Sweetheart,
This is tough.
It is tough,
Yeah.
It is tough.
We're not denying that it's tough.
And self-compassion is not about making it go away,
But it's kind of bridging,
Bringing us closer.
To what it is that's here.
Maybe the disappointment.
Of what this means.
You know,
The disappointment you could use to go run or do something and you're like,
I can't do that.
And there's a sense of loss.
Maybe it's a sense of loss around that.
And and so you ah here's the sense of loss and coming in and feeling that exploring the sensations where you're feeling it in the body what's there the intensity the shape of it the um kind of the texture of it And as you're saying,
Like,
It's okay to feel the sense of loss.
It's okay to feel it.
There is,
I think,
We also,
Can often imagine that we're just supposed to.
Kind of face this new set of circumstances.
And not explore any sense of loss that we might be having around the new limitations.
And I find it's very helpful to say,
You know,
Yeah,
Let's feel that sense of loss.
Let's feel that disappointment.
Let's feel that anger,
Feel that frustration,
Whatever it is.
If you're feeling it in the present moment,
You're allowing it to,
It doesn't come out and overwhelm us.
We think that that's what's going to happen.
We think that Oh,
If I feel this,
I'm going to be toppled over.
But it's just the opposite.
In fact,
By coming in to feel what's here,
Acknowledging what's here,
Acknowledging the sense of loss or the frustration or the anger,
By bringing into it,
It's like we kind of,
There's just that initial softening and recognizing it and being with what's here.
Right?
It's the,
You know,
When we're trying to stuff a beach ball under the water,
That's what we're doing when we're trying to,
When we stay lost in the story and I don't want to feel my feelings.
They're not going away.
Yeah,
They're not going away.
They're not going away.
They're getting bigger.
The more we tell ourselves we can't feel it,
The more we stay lost in the story.
But when we come into it,
There's almost a sense of the ball is just,
Oh,
OK,
Yeah.
Of resting on the surface and this like yeah okay there's a loss here there's anger here right take your time go through each emotion spend a few minutes with it okay what else is here right the eye and rain inquiring what else is here and then okay yeah there's disappointment you know be with that feel it allow yourself to open to it Nurture it.
And then inquiring what's the next thing here.
And as you do that,
There's a sense of,
That's kind of the practice of accepting what's here.
We think it's often,
I've got to turn something on here to accept.
And often the minds were kind of white knuckling it as we're going,
I accept this.
We're not really accepting it at all,
Right?
Because we're not feeling it.
If you're not feeling it,
If you're not here with what's here,
That's not accepting it.
It's maybe the difference between.
You know,
Talking the talk and walking the walk.
You know,
We can say all day long we're accepting something if we're not feeling it,
If we're not acknowledging.
The disappointment or the loss or the anger or the frustration or whatever it is that's here,
We're not really accepting it.
So just as best as best you can,
As best you can practice,
Okay?
Yeah,
And just as best you can,
Very gently,
Very gently,
Okay?
Giving yourself a lot of room,
A lot of patience,
A lot of kindness.
Sometimes it's two steps forward,
One step back.
Sometimes it's two steps forward,
Three steps back.
You know,
Seemingly steps.
But yeah,
Just a lot of kindness,
A lot of compassion,
A lot of forgiveness for yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah,
Never,
Never need to apologize.
No problem.
No problem.
That's what we're here for.
Oh,
Bob,
We lost you.
You're back.
Good to have you back.
Okay,
Let me see what else is here.
Oh,
Marion,
I'm going to come back to your comment about,
Because I think probably something I had said earlier.
And I'll just try and clarify a little bit.
Hang on,
Where was your comment?
Where you're saying,
Hmm,
That's hard to understand.
You feel you are a better person,
More compassionate and understanding,
Less judgmental.
And I think where you were probably coming from on that comment was when I'm saying that we're not becoming something,
We're not becoming a better person.
And yet it's interesting we can reflect and say,
Yeah,
There's more compassion,
There's more understanding,
There's less judgment.
Yeah,
And really,
It's really.
.
.
Quite the,
I think paradox is the right word that I would say for it.
The more that we try to become a better person,
The less likely we are to be that better person.
Because there's a sense of grasping and that there's a sense of I need to be seen as a better person.
I need to be better.
I need to be more compassionate.
And you can't,
The separate self can't be these things.
It's not compassionate.
It's not,
It's not,
It's not these things.
And yet,
These practices that you've been doing,
And the practice is,
To be clear again,
They're not improving the separate self.
You're not listening to it as much.
And because you're not listening as much,
It's not holding as much of your attention,
Your actions are not being motivated as much by the separate self.
In its absence,
Wisdom and compassion is arising.
I really find it's like a seesaw.
They're there's a direct correlation.
Yeah,
It's not improving the separate self.
And yet,
It is amazing that The less we try to be something,
Be better,
Be improved.
And the more that there's just presence,
Being with what is,
We're not fighting our experience,
We're not trying to change our experience,
Activity is still happening,
Decisioning is still happening,
Doing is still happening.
But it's not coming from a place of grasping any longer.
And yeah,
The wisdom and compassion is generally is not generally,
Sorry,
But is really the primary nudge in the decisioning and the choicing that's happening then.
And so yes,
It can appear,
We could say,
Wow,
There's the appearance that it's,
We can reflect and say there's less judging,
There's less comparing.
There's more compassion,
There's more wisdom,
There's more forgiveness,
There's more ease,
There's more peace,
And even maybe to some degree that we can also just recognize just those are the conditions that are happening.
Right,
Not to make an identity out of it.
Because,
You know,
Maybe we have a moment where we're not feeling those things.
And we're allowed to be human,
Right?
We're allowed,
Depending upon what the conditions are,
And now.
And that also creates less grasping and less suffering.
Yeah.
Yeah,
I mean,
The conditioning.
That you're on.
Whatever path you're on that brings you to a dharma talk,
To a sangha,
That you're open to these teachings,
This of really being able to examine your experience to see how our words can be weapons or they can heal,
Right?
They can harm or they can heal.
Our actions can harm or they can heal,
Ourselves or other people.
And the more that we see that and see that through the lens of right view,
So from a Buddhist perspective,
Like to see the nature of reality,
To see clearly what's happening.
And more often than not,
Because you're not coming from a place of grasping and me as the center of the universe,
Those conditions are lending themselves more towards kindness,
Towards forgiveness.
Towards wisely setting boundaries when appropriate,
Healthy boundaries,
Not becoming a doormat.
That's definitely not what it's about either.
But it's helping us to to See the view that we have all had of ourselves in the world.
To see really clearly how that has created a lot of harm for us and a lot of harm for others.
And we can just see this in the world right now,
Right?
We can really see this.
This tribal mentality,
The anger,
And everyone's going into their own little silos,
And the division.
I mean,
Anything that's creating a sense of separation is the self.
And automatically from that I'm seeing myself as the center of the universe and and so we can see how much like this kind of slows us down the meditation and mindfulness is slowing us down like you were saying you're a there's there's there's something that's kind of interrupting the words and going huh let's pause before these words come out of here there's there's a little bit more awareness about what's happened about the words that come out and the effect that they're having and and it does start to make things a little bit like oh yeah i can see how these old habits are still here and they're still here for a lot of us for quite a while because we're not controlling any of this but they can still be here but we can start to see the pattern the habit of it and and there's there what you're starting to recognize through the practices then like oh there it is there's the pattern we've talked about it numerous times um for those of you that haven't done we did at the beginning of the year where we did the mantras pieces not chasing pieces not resisting comparing judging narrating so we have all those classes up on insight timer to really help see more clearly again as a path of negation not negativity but negation to see this is what's this is what we're caught up in this is the little hamster wheel we're in it's not bringing you the peace that you think in fact it's doing just the opposite and the more that we start to see that and as there's a sense then mindfulness arising because of the conditioning uh and listening to dharma talks and being pointed again and again you know there's like you said your the words are more thoughtful there's less judging less comparing more compassion more wisdom and and with that again more space starts to open up and we start to really see,
Oh my gosh.
I'm actually not even doing any of that.
There's nothing here,
Solid independent,
Doing any of that.
It's just all the conditioning.
And there can be such a truly bottoms-up felt sense of gratitude.
Grateful that yes,
The conditioning here was to go on this path,
Grateful that for all the teachers that have come along and helped,
And they're so kind and helped to keep nudging this one in a direction,
And that all these conditions,
Not like there's anything personal or special here,
But all these conditions that were all just kind of part of this tapestry,
And that they've been moving in this direction,
Which is seeing more the nature of reality of how fluid and changing everything is that there's nothing solid here.
So there's less identity making out of it.
There's less needing anyone to validate whatever identity it is that we think we are.
Less needing so even in interactions with others it's not what so much of the time you can see this people kind of needing something needing to be validated from us or needing us to do something you know to kind of control to satisfy try to satisfy their little sense of me inside,
Right?
And all of that starts falling away.
And there's just a flowing with life as it's happening.
You're not trying to feed the beast anymore,
Right?
So we first kind of see those habits,
Those thought habits and patterns.
And there's a,
Oh my gosh,
You start seeing like,
It's like you put your hand on the stove after the 50th time,
You're like,
That hurts.
Or the 100th time or the 10,
000th time.
It's like,
That hurts.
And it just,
For whatever reason,
It happens at a different point for each of us all of a sudden on the 2,
350 second time.
Mindfulness appears and goes that's that's it that's happening there right abigail it's like all of a sudden it'll pop up and go there's the story of why is this happening And you go,
Oh,
And this is it.
And because of the other conditioning of being on here,
And you go,
OK,
This is it.
I've recognized it.
That happened.
Don't know how.
Happened.
Allow the feelings oh this is oh okay you come in and you start feeling and maybe you even think oh this is a little scary i'm not quite sure but i'm going to just pull up a meditation of getting me into my feelings right because i know that's what i need to do right now so if i need some help with it no problem or if you feel you're okay just i'm going to try to come in and feel and nurture what's here and explore the sensations and the sense of separateness falls away.
We still have whatever,
You know,
Was happening.
Maybe there's still some remnants of whatever it was that's happening,
But there's no longer an identity around it.
There's no longer something that needs to be fixed.
There's no longer a sense of needing to be something or needing to be seen in some way or needing,
You know,
Thinking that I've got to change this.
Oh,
My God,
There's something existentially wrong with me,
It's just there's a seeing like oh yeah.
So it's it's all just this is all just conditioning all just conditioning and and that it's been flowing in this direction for you right that you're here on a sunday on a dharma talk um and and that's kind of planting seeds not seeds for the separate self we're bypassing the separate self right and and touch is something that that you can sense that little opening there and else.
You know conditions keep changing then all of a sudden something comes in and there's a little seeing of what's happening and a freedom and oh and you're here and everything opens up like oh my gosh this whole world here I was so lost up in my little worries and thoughts about me and there's this whole big world happening right now that I can see and I can feel and hear and and and taste and smell.
And as I connect through the feelings,
So even just kind of bringing us maybe towards an end here,
Kind of where we started with the meditation and really talking about the feelings,
The feelings being such a way to really connect us.
To direct experience to what's happening.
Presence,
Being,
Openness,
Spaciousness.
And so now we're not being.
.
.
We're not being motivated by greed and desire and fear and aversion.
It's wisdom and compassion.
And you start to see for yourself.
And then it's kind of,
Oh,
Maybe you have a day or two,
And you're really,
There's,
For whatever reasons,
Presence.
Your attention isn't going up there anymore.
And don't take ownership of that.
Don't try and hold it.
Don't try and cling to it.
Just,
Wow,
These are the conditions.
And the more free and open you are with that,
It's like,
Wow,
This is nice,
Right?
We can definitely acknowledge this.
This is nice.
Thank you.
Gratitude,
Not to anything or anyone.
I don't know.
Just thank you.
Thank you.
Just a universal thank you.
Thank you.
Fantastic.
This feels nice.
Don't grasp at it.
And then,
You know,
Something comes and you're grasping it a little later and that's just more,
And then eventually the mindfulness will come and you see it.
And it's not like you're starting back at scratch at ground zero.
Because every.
.
.
Step along the path,
Every seemingly step,
Seeming step along the path is Hmm?
Unraveling the identity of the separate self and opening your eyes to what's happening even when you have those moments and you get caught up again it there's it's the identification with it is weakening there's no question it's weakening and in its place is being.
And it's.
.
.
It's a better way to go through the world.
A better way.
Okay,
I think I'll hang on.
Yeah,
Bob,
I just want to add on that.
We're saying healing starts when we drop the desires and delusions that lead to suffering.
Oh,
Yeah,
Yeah.
Yeah,
And as we're feeling.
You know,
Healing through feeling,
The desires and the delusions just naturally do fall away.
I'll often hear this from people,
And they'll say,
Oh,
It's so hard being mindful.
It's so hard being present.
Actually,
It's not hard at all.
What's hard is the clinging and the grasping.
That's what's so painful.
And initially,
Initially,
We do see I think the initial letting go is we see it's painful.
We see we keep putting our hand on the stove.
It hurts.
And again,
Mindfulness arising,
We stop putting our hand on the stove.
Of course,
It still keeps happening.
We still keep getting caught in the separate self.
But what's happening every time the identification with separateness is dissolving,
And remember,
Never real,
Just an illusion.
And being and seeing,
You know,
More time present.
There's something that's changing in your view of reality.
And because you're seeing more and hearing more and being more and less attached,
Less grasping.
That view of separateness and being the center of the universe really starts to fall apart because you're really seeing that oh actually everything is interconnected and interdependent and impermanent including this.
And it is that view of truly seeing it for yourself.
That there's nothing to hold on to.
There's nowhere I could get to and land.
So it's not kind of trying to force something on top of it,
A belief on top of another belief.
It's this belief of the separateness and seeing myself as the center of the universe starts to fall apart as it's a little like they're just,
I don't know,
Kind of happening at the same time.
That's falling apart and you're really truly seeing the nature of reality.
The nature of reality.
Everything is impermanent.
Interconnected,
Interdependent.
And there is no separate self.
Yeah,
That sense of loneliness,
This epidemic that we're having of loneliness right now.
I mean,
There's definitely some societal things going on there,
But amplifying it,
But it's the sense of separateness.
Because none of us is separate.
None of us could be separate.
Each of us is part of the same tapestry.
But it's a view that clouds our view and makes us feel alone and separate and unworthy instead of seeing.
Know that each of us is a part of this,
You couldn't not be a part of it.
You cannot not,
You can think you're not a part of it.
That you cannot not be a part of it.
That's the wholeness.
That's the mystery.
That's the wonder.
The interest of this.
My God,
How is all this happening?
I don't know.
But I can see it's happening.
There is nothing but what's happening in this moment.
Nothing but what's happening in this moment.
And it's changing and it's changing.
And there's openness and there's spaciousness around that.
And there's freedom.
There's liberation.
That's what this path is leading us to.
Yeah,
Kim,
Beautifully said.
And I would just say a woven miracle.
It is a woven miracle.
Don't try and figure out the mystery.
That's what makes it so interesting.
And you can't.
The mind cannot know this.
The mind can't.
I'm kind of using the separate self on my left side here.
It cannot know reality.
The mind,
The separate self,
Which is just thinking,
Thinking about myself,
It thinks about things that it cannot know directly.
I can think about the taste of chocolate,
But that is not the same as tasting chocolate.
I can think about what a beautiful sunset looks like.
That is not the same as seeing a beautiful sunset.
The mind cannot know reality.
It can only know concepts.
It's a pale,
And whatever it's thinking about,
Of what it thinks this is,
Is the idea of the separate self.
It's usually taking us on a bit of a detour.
And this is why we say,
Yeah,
Sandy,
Another great analogy.
You can look at the menu,
But you can't eat it.
And so if our attention is always looking at the menu,
The separate self.
We're not tasting the food.
But when we see,
That's not me,
It's not you,
The separate self.
Why is the programming all the same for everyone?
It's the exact same for everyone.
Because it's the same programming.
Little bit different,
The characters change out a little bit.
But the same,
Oh,
I need to get over there.
I need to feel something else.
That person needs to get out of my way.
They've got more than me.
I'm not enough,
Right?
These same,
Same.
Stories.
And so in seeing,
That's not you.
It's just thoughts.
They're not your thoughts.
You didn't ask for them.
But in the beginning,
Our identification is incredibly strong with it.
We believe,
No,
That thought's my thought.
It's real.
It's clearly describing my life right now.
No,
It's not.
It's always distorting things.
So the more that you start to see,
That's not me.
You put the menu down and you start tasting.
Directly the wonderful.
Food,
Tasting the food,
Hearing the nice music,
Hearing the sound of the wind through the trees,
Seeing the beautiful sights,
The different textures,
Looking up,
Looking around,
Seeing so much more than what we see when we're lost in our little me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me.
And that emptiness,
That ache of I'm not enough is nowhere to be found because that's just found in a thought.
In the identification with that thought.
You're much,
Much more than those thoughts.
Much,
Much more.
That's a very limited belief of how we see ourselves.
Very limited,
Very small.
And not even based in reality.
And it's not just a Buddhist view.
Every physicist on the planet would tell you this.
This is all interconnected,
Interdependent,
And changing.
And the practices that we're doing here,
That we're inviting here,
Are really helping you to see this for yourself,
Because each of us has to see this for ourselves.
Thank you for watching!
You
