Imagining Ideal Parents

Imagining Ideal Parents is a visualization exercise where we use our imagination to re-map parts of our childhood, just like cutting & replacing scenes in a movie. Practicing regularly you will develop a new positive outlook on life & develop a new love for yourself. This practice was originally created by Dr Daniel P Brown.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to this Imagining Ideal Parents meditation here on Insight Timer.

My name is Andrew and I'm so happy to be guiding you through this exercise today.

And if you're new to this exercise and are a little nervous,

That's totally okay.

I'm here to join you on this beautiful journey.

Imagining Ideal Parents is simply the exercise of imagining ideal parents using your imagination to remap parts of your childhood,

Just like cutting and replacing scenes in a movie.

And over time,

If you practice this exercise,

You'll develop a new positive outlook on life and develop a new love for yourself.

So to begin with,

I invite you just to take a moment to settle into a nice comfortable seated position with your feet softly resting on the floor,

Your back nice and straight,

But with an overall relaxed posture,

Resting your hands on your lap.

And let's start by taking a couple of big deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.

And on the next out breath,

Gently closing the eyes.

Imagine yourself as a young child,

Only in this scene,

Imagine that you grew up in a family different from your family of origin,

But with a set of parents that are ideally suited to you and your nature.

Bring to mind a scene of them being with you in a way that would lead to feeling absolutely secure in the attachment relationship.

Your imagination can create new possibilities.

You can reshape the scene in any ways you want until it feels just right.

In this scene,

Notice particularly the ways that they're being with you.

It leads you to feel completely secure in the relationship.

Let the scene fade and bring to mind a second scene with these ideal parents being with you in a way that makes you feel completely safe and protected.

These parents know how to provide you with a safe haven.

They are fiercely protective,

But never overprotective.

Imagine specifically the ways that they're being with you.

It would give you a sense of being completely safe and protected as a child.

And when you imagine the details of the scene,

Notice the way they're being with you that leads you to feel so safe and so very safe and protected.

Notice the effect that that has on your state of mind.

Let the scene fade and now imagine another scene of yourself with these ideal parents.

Imagine them being so carefully attuned to you.

These parents are completely present.

You know as you imagine it that they're really interested in you,

Interested in everything you do.

They are interested in every change in your behavior.

You can sense the ways that they can track all the developmental changes that you go through as a young child.

They are so perfectly attuned to you and are interested in all these changes.

But as you imagine this scene,

What's most important as you imagine it in such a way that they're carefully attuned not to just to be in your behavioral,

But they're attuned to your internal state as well.

These parents are constantly wondering out loud about what you feel,

What motivates your behavior.

They're interested in what you think and how you put together your world so that you feel deeply seen and known by them.

Imagine parents who are that carefully attuned to your internal state,

Not just your behavior.

Notice the effect that that has on your state of mind.

Let the scene fade and now imagine the time as a young child when you were emotionally upset about something.

But only this time you imagine that you grew up in a family different from your own.

Again with these ideal parents,

They see right away that you are upset and imagine they respond to you in just the right way.

Notice how they approach you,

The physical closeness that they offer to you,

The comfort physically,

The verbal reassurance.

Imagine them comforting you in all the right ways and notice the effect that that has on your state of mind.

Let the scene fade and now imagine another scene with these ideal parents as a young child and imagine them being with you in a way that they're absolutely open and expressive about their delight in everything you do.

These ideal parents are not subtle,

They're consistently and openly expressive about their joy in everything that you discover.

But more importantly,

These ideal parents are openly expressive about their joy in your being.

You know that you are a deep source of joy and everything you do in life brings them great pleasure.

You can feel it when you're around them.

Notice the effect that that has on your state of mind.

To have parents that are so openly expressive about their delight in everything you do,

But more importantly,

The delight in your very being.

You are the deepest source of joy and satisfaction to them.

In so many ways you can feel it.

Notice the effect that that has on your state of mind and particularly notice the effect it has on your self-esteem.

Let the scene fade.

Now imagine another scene with these ideal parents at a time when you're exploring or discovering something new and you have their absolute support.

These parents are openly supportive to you,

Encourage you to explore and discover new things in your own ways.

They want you to bring out your best and strongest sense of self.

They're not threatened by that.

They have no agendas for you,

They just want you to discover all that you can be and be the strongest and best version of yourself.

Imagine the scene that you're exploring and discovering something new with their complete and absolute support.

Bring out the best and strongest sense of self that you can be.

Notice the effect that that has on your state of mind.

Imagine what it might have been like.

What your sense of self might have been turned out to be like had you grown up getting that kind of support every step in your development.

Your best and strongest most unique self.

Lastly,

There was something that you needed as a child growing up that repeatedly over and over again you never quite got.

Bring that feeling to mind now.

It's a very familiar feeling to you.

There's something you needed over and over again but never quite got and there was a very familiar way that you came to feel about that.

Bring that feeling to mind so you can let yourself feel that right now.

Now imagine the ideal parents step into the scene and see right away what you're feeling and they respond to you in just the right way you most need.

Just the right way and begin that process of healing.

Let the scene fade.

Notice the effect that that has on your state of mind.

Notice the effect that that has on your state of mind.

So now I just want you to notice how your body feels.

Do you feel relaxed?

A bit tense?

Start to notice sounds around you.

Feel the points of contact.

Your feet resting on the floor.

Your hands resting on your lap.

And when you're ready,

Gently opening your eyes.

And before you move on with your day,

Just take a moment to notice how you feel in your body.

And I want you to congratulate yourself on challenging yourself to visit a possibly painful past and rewrite some of those scenes.

And it's not an easy thing to do.

And remember to always be kind to yourself and others.

Reviews

So powerful, left me feeling a bit shaken up towards the end realising so much I missed, but in a way leaving me off with a tight hug that I deserved more and I can give myself and others so much more, so much love. Saved to continue rewriting my childhood and continue to hug my inner child when she needed me the most!

Thank you for that Andrew, I enjoyed that immensely! I had a challenging relationship with my parents and for some reason I feel at peace right now 💕