3 Steps To Healthy Boundaries

Join Mary in creating healthy boundaries by practicing helpful affirmations. She guides you through 3 simple steps to creating gentle awareness around boundary setting, implementation and support. She then provides an opportunity to listen and repeat powerful intention statements. Enjoy this empowering practice with calm confidence in a soothing space.

Royalty Free Audio Track: Sanctuary by Ambient Boy

Transcript

Welcome.

Welcome to this Practicing Boundaries Affirmations.

I am so glad that you are here.

Chances are,

If you've hit play on this track,

You may be seeking or are seeking to improve upon your ability to create boundaries.

Kudos to you for that.

I honor you for this,

And I also know how important this work is for myself.

It was once a belief of mine that some people are just better at boundaries.

I thought that in air quotes,

The right relationships,

People will know,

Honor and respect your boundaries just naturally.

And people who have great boundaries are simply better at creating and enforcing them than me.

In great news,

None of that is actually true.

Boundaries are a skill that we get to build.

They are in fact required for maintaining healthy relationships.

And boundaries are our way of delineating what we will and will not allow from others and ourselves.

And boundaries are how we communicate this,

Sometimes verbally,

Sometimes not.

Boundaries in their simplest form are the limits that mark an area for us.

They may be spiritual,

Mental,

Emotional,

Physical,

And sexual.

We have opportunity to create them with time,

Finances,

And in material things as well.

You are allowed to have what I call must-haves and non-negotiables.

Give yourself permission to begin to warm up to the idea that you are able to set these limits.

And for many of us,

This is a first step,

Especially those of us socialized as women.

Often we were or have been encouraged or are encouraged to dismiss our own needs in the interest of others.

And so recognizing that the first step is often warming up to the idea that you are in fact able to set these limits,

To have your own wants,

Needs,

And desires.

The second piece is having a plan in place to implement the boundaries.

And this will be new and unfamiliar,

Possibly uncomfortable at first.

This is the benefit of having a plan and knowing that this is all also okay.

Like knowing that it may be unfamiliar or uncomfortable.

I would encourage you to practice some general go-to phrases that feel helpful for you when you may be in need of them,

Or if something's coming up or you're experiencing something,

Having a few stock phrases often comes in handy.

So,

For example,

Some that I practice.

That sounds great.

Let me look at the calendar.

Thank you.

Let me get back to you.

Okay,

I'm sharing this because,

Whatever the reason,

And also I'm not asking for your opinion.

When this happens,

I will fill in the blank.

If you do this,

Then I will also fill in the blank.

No,

And no thank you.

Third important piece to this puzzle is being prepared to support yourself,

To support ourselves,

To have your own back in the follow-up of the process.

So setting a standard is the boundary.

Implementation with an action or an inaction.

These steps must also be followed up with support for yourself in the outcome or in the result.

When we are learning and implementing,

There will be some uncomfortable parts.

At the very least,

It will be unfamiliar.

Newness is often perceived as discomfort.

You may have some fear around it.

Know this and recognize we can still make progress.

We can still experience and create change.

And please be gentle with yourself as you learn to set boundaries.

Know that the practice and the repetition will absolutely help make successful progress.

And practice builds trust in yourself and confidence,

And thus the cycle continues.

So practice plus trust in yourself builds confidence.

So to support yourself,

To have your own back in the follow-up of the implementation,

I'm sharing some affirmations that you are welcome to practice whenever feels comfortable for you.

Or even in preparation of a situation that you may already know may push on some of your boundaries.

Or the opportunity may be there.

It will be impactful for you to let these absorb into your consciousness when you're in a more neutral space.

And so that way when you may be in a higher sensitive area or situation,

They're able to present for you.

These are even more powerful when you begin to say them aloud.

And as a side note,

You may want to practice setting and implementing your boundaries first in safe,

Low-risk situations.

Even if you're setting them only between you and yourself.

And that practice will help you to build the muscle.

As the muscle grows,

You feel more confident and prepared in those higher stress or more challenging interactions.

As you listen,

I invite you to make any adjustments to the affirmations,

To the language,

So that it feels aligned with you.

And as we speak them,

Know that it's beneficial for you to pause and even notice how,

Where it lands throughout your body and allow yourself to get curious around the messages that your body is sharing with you.

With love and compassion for yourself,

Always.

So taking a slow,

Purposeful breath.

Nice inhale.

And on the exhale,

Releasing any tension that even having this conversation may present.

Okay.

And taking a few nice,

Purposeful breaths,

Beginning to relax into the space around you.

Allowing your jaw to relax.

Pushing your shoulders down and away from your ears.

Continuing to breathe the natural rhythm of your breath.

And if you notice any additional tension anywhere,

Just sending that area a little special,

Extra love and care.

And allowing those spaces to soften.

Listening to the following affirmations.

And even repeating what feels aligned when it feels appropriate.

It is safe for me to set boundaries.

I am allowed to set and hold healthy boundaries.

I give myself permission to identify my own needs,

Wants,

And desires.

Every day,

I learn more about my own boundaries.

Every day,

I learn more about me.

I am allowed to identify and embrace what feels true for me now.

It becomes easier for me to communicate in a clear and effective manner.

I am willing to feel all the feels.

To make progress.

To move into the next best version of me.

I am learning to trust myself in this process.

I love,

Honor,

And respect myself and my ability to create new boundaries.

I become more confident each time I implement a boundary.

Each time I practice,

I am advocating for myself.

Practice builds trust in myself and follow-through creates confidence.

I observe myself with patience as I carry out this process.

I am a good person even when I set a boundary.

I am lovable when I am setting a boundary.

Boundaries are how I care for myself emotionally,

Spiritually,

Physically,

And mentally.

Boundaries are my invitation to show others how I wish to be treated and how I will be treated.

How others receive and react to my boundary is their responsibility.

How I maintain my boundary is my responsibility.

I may choose to lovingly let go of those that are not aligned with or respectful of my boundaries.

I love them from a distance.

Setting boundaries clearly communicates who I am,

What I will and will not allow from others.

Boundaries are honest and they are kind.

I attract those that will honor and respect my boundaries into my life.

Boundaries allow me to show up as my best self and clearly and honestly communicate with others.

Boundaries come from love for myself and others and are required for healthy and meaningful relationships.

It is safe for me to set boundaries.

Each new day is an opportunity to practice again.

Thank you for sharing in this practice with me.

Boundaries are an invitation for us to acknowledge our personal space and our needs physically,

Mentally,

Emotionally,

And spiritually.

The journey to creating and implementing these empower you to begin again at any moment.

Embrace that power.

Take this with you through your day and interactions.

Remembering,

You are saved and you are loved.

Be well.