Hi,
It's Anne.
Today's meditation is probably going to be a relevant one,
Because no healthy human feels good all the time.
Actually,
More realistically,
50% of our days will be good ones and 50% will be not so good.
We tend to think there's something wrong with the not so good days,
But they're a part of life too.
Humans do this funny thing where we resist the not so good days,
And in doing so,
We make everything worse.
We distract ourselves from uncomfortable feelings with Netflix and mindless scrolling.
We work while we are supposedly on vacation.
We research our issues on Google and try to find solutions online from Reddit,
Blogs,
And WebMD.
Oh,
And sometimes we even try and meditate to feel better.
But none of these techniques really work that well.
Whenever we try to get rid of some feeling or emotion,
It only really makes things worse and prolongs our discomfort.
All feelings will naturally come and go if we let them.
Instead of me trying to make you feel better,
My goal in today's practice is to help humanize the shitty moments and support you in developing the skill of self-compassion so that when future shitty moments arise,
You won't make them shittier by trying relentlessly to make them less shitty.
As a byproduct of practicing this meditation,
You may feel better,
But this is not the goal.
See if you can move into this meditation with the intention to allow yourself to feel whatever it is you're feeling right now.
Whatever you're experiencing is totally okay.
Start off by finding a comfortable place to sit tall.
If you're seated in a chair,
Try not to slump into the back of the chair.
Use the muscles of your back to lengthen your spine so that you can breathe more fully.
Relax anything that doesn't need to be working and close your eyes.
Bring your attention to your breathing.
Try not to change anything.
Just notice where you feel your breath the most.
Is it in your belly,
Chest,
Or underneath the nostrils?
Some folks don't love using the breath as their anchor for meditation.
If you feel this way too,
Try noticing sensations in the palms of your hands instead.
For several moments,
See how focused you can become on either your breath or sensations in the palms of the hands.
Thoughts will come and go,
But see if you can be so focused on your anchor that there's nothing for the thoughts to hold on to.
Now,
Let yourself feel exactly what it is that's making you feel so shitty.
Is it a specific emotion?
A cluster of emotions?
A huge glob of emotions you can't even identify?
Perhaps there's a bothersome thought or a couple of bothersome thoughts that seem to have been put on repeat.
Or maybe you just feel a strong sensation in your body like a sinking in your chest or a blockage in your throat.
Maybe you can associate that feeling with an emotion or a thought.
If at any point you become overwhelmed,
Know that you can always return to paying attention to the breath or to sensations in the palms.
If you feel okay with you,
Continue keeping your attention on how you're feeling at this moment.
Become curious if your particular ways of distraction want to emerge,
Like a sudden impulse to look at your phone,
A desire to escape it all and buy a flight to the nearest beach town,
Etc.
See if you can sit with your uncomfortable feelings without having to do anything about them.
You're not pushing anything away.
You're not telling yourself,
Oh,
Everything will be okay,
It's fine.
Or,
Look on the bright side.
Instead,
You're training yourself to be present with your life,
Regardless of whether it's awesome or whether it absolutely sucks or whether it feels boring or whether it feels confusing or whether it feels exciting.
Maybe there are huge waves crashing around you.
Maybe the waves are smoothing out.
Or maybe the waves were calm and then all of a sudden started getting stronger when I reminded you of them.
Rather than losing your footing and getting sucked under whatever waves are present for you,
Or saying,
Fuck it and giving up,
Getting out of the water,
Allow yourself to observe what's happening and not need to do anything about the waves.
You're building a muscle.
Consider the many other people that,
Like you,
Are having shitty days.
This isn't a competition like,
Oh,
My day's shittier than theirs,
But it's about softening your heart a little bit.
When we're struggling,
It's really easy to build a wall and to judge ourselves for suffering,
To shut others out and even to shut ourselves out.
Remembering that we're human and that everyone deals with stuff sometimes helps us tear down that wall so that we can treat ourselves and others with kindness.
This is what we really need when we're not doing so hot.
Consider what,
To you,
Would feel like an act of kindness toward yourself in this moment.
Perhaps there's a particular mantra or saying that would feel soothing to you,
Something you feel you need to hear like,
All feelings come and go,
Or even if it doesn't feel like it right now,
I am strong and capable.
Repeat whatever mantra you feel called toward,
Or if you prefer,
A few words of wisdom.
Repeat whatever mantra you feel called toward,
Or if you prefer,
You can simply imagine kindness enveloping you from all sides for the next several moments.
Begin to deepen your breath and as you're ready,
Slowly begin to open your eyes.
Consider if there's a specific act of self-care you can do today that would feel like an act of kindness toward yourself.
Maybe going for a gentle walk,
Calling up a good friend to talk,
Or making a nice meal for yourself.
Instead of resisting what you feel,
In what ways can you welcome it?
Thanks so much for sticking with me today.
I look forward to next time.
