Reducing Your Anxiety By Creating Healthy Boundaries -Talk

In this wonderful podcast, we'll be talking about the ability to love, dream, and live. Listen to this conversation if you're interested in reducing the anxiety in your day to day life by creating healthy boundaries.

Transcript

Welcome to Love,

Dream,

Live!

Your source of life lessons that inspire you to love intensely,

Dream relentlessly,

And live passionately.

Our goal is to help you create harmony in your work,

Personal life,

And self-discovery journey.

Welcome your host Aida with today's topic.

Hey there wonderful!

Thank you for joining me today.

Today we're going to be talking about how to reduce your anxiety by setting healthy boundaries.

And I'm also going to share with you the really positive side to experiencing anxiety.

Even though it feels like there's no real positive side,

There really is.

So let's begin by talking about feeling anxiety and how debilitating it can feel and how it can actually keep us feeling stuck.

Not only do we feel stuck but we also feel helpless to this particular person or situation and it just kind of makes our anxiety get worse over time.

Overall speaking anxiety is just a really negative emotion and the way that I personally define anxiety is tension created by negative energies that surround me.

It could be negative energies from other people,

From a difficult situation,

From work,

From anything that I have to deal with and work through that I'm just feeling like that problem is bigger than me and so it just creates a lot of anxiety for me.

And what I experience when I'm feeling anxiety is I get really defensive.

So my defensiveness triggers all these negative emotions and triggers this kind of like downward spiral of negative thoughts,

Negative feelings,

And then the rest of my day really reflects the fact that I feel anxious because I'm really slow,

My mind is scattered,

I feel down and I'm not really generally productive or happy when I'm feeling anxiety.

And since I'm really defensive you know I'll take something that's really tiny and just blow it up because I'm just feeling so defensive and I'll be like oh my gosh I just can't work with this client right now or I just can't talk to this person right now and I'm just like in this emergency mode and my mind and my thoughts are really clouded and it's hard for me to think straight,

It's hard for me to find clarity.

And so the really challenging part about working through anxiety is realizing that it's anxiety,

Acknowledging that it's anxiety,

And knowing ourselves enough to transmute that negative energy into a more positive energy that can fuel us and uplift us and move us forward with progress,

With courage,

Instead of keeping us feeling stuck and helpless and anxious and defensive and all these kind of really bad emotions that can come with this particular type of tension.

So now let's really talk about the good news of having an anxiety and how we can actually flip that upside down to work in our favor and not allow it to overwhelm us or overtake us.

So I'm going to invite you to envision that every single person on the planet is like a tiny battery walking on earth.

Some people are double-a batteries,

Some people are triple-a batteries,

Some people could be a C battery or a D battery.

So whether you are a double-a battery,

A triple-a battery,

Whatever size battery you are,

You need to realize that that is how much voltage you have available to you and that is how much energy you can hold.

And also since batteries are a conductor of energy and a container of energy,

Then the really good news is that if you can hold that much anxiety,

You can also hold that much joy.

For example,

Let's say you're a triple-a battery.

So that battery can only contain and conduct the amount of energy that can fit inside of this.

That energy could be anxiety,

That energy could be joy,

That energy could be any kind of emotion that you desire to contain and to conduct.

And so the other really good news is if you're a triple-a battery and you expand yourself to a double-a battery,

You can actually expand how much energy you're able to contain and how much energy you're able to conduct.

Now you don't want to expand yourself having anxiety and having more anxiety and creating more of that.

So the challenge is to take all of your anxiety,

All the negative energies that you have,

And transform them into something neutral and transform it into something that will be centered and grounded and make you feel more neutral.

So for example,

For myself I can just sit down in a meditation and visualize different things that enable me to help me feel better and help me ground myself.

Another thing I generally do is I go to yoga.

So when I go to yoga,

I just feel more grounded,

More centered,

More whole,

And more at peace.

And so even though I might be feeling really anxious after going to yoga,

I feel a lot better.

Another thing I do,

And I used to do this a lot more frequently,

I would just go outside and lay down on the grass and I would allow Mother Earth to just like hold me.

And I'm just like,

Okay the earth is my mother.

She's here to protect me,

She's here to guide me,

And the earth is so huge and it's on my side.

And so I feel like that was a really grounding exercise that I did.

I just went outside,

I laid down on the grass,

I closed my eyes for a bit,

Looked up at the sky,

And I just realized the amount of goodness and nature,

The beauty of the sky,

The colors,

The trees,

All the life that really surrounds me.

And I'm like,

You know,

Mother Earth is on my side so I can never be anxious because she's here to love me and protect me.

So that's another thing that I feel really helped ground me.

And another thing that I generally use is music.

So I'll turn on music and it'll help me visualize things that I want to visualize.

Other things that I've noticed that help is different sets,

Reading really good books about spirituality,

Just finding different ways to ground yourself.

This could be so different for every person.

I'm just sharing what really works for me but it could be totally different,

Whatever will work for you.

The goal is to get yourself back into feeling at ease and not feeling so anxious.

So kind of neutralizing that anxiety,

Minimizing it as much as you possibly can through finding something to do that helps you feel more centered,

More grounded,

And also more present because the reality is that a lot of our anxiety is kind of based on stuff we can't really see.

It's a lot of fears that we are projecting into the future or,

You know,

The unknown and a lot of it we can't really see it right now.

So if we focus on being present and our surroundings and our environment,

It kind of reduces our anxiety because there's not really an immediate threat.

So after you're able to neutralize yourself and not feel so anxious,

After you feel more centered,

More grounded,

The next thing to do is to set healthy boundaries that help you reduce your anxiety and that also help you minimize the chances of having the same situations come up that create that anxiety for you.

So for example,

You might need to create boundaries for yourself.

You might need to create boundaries for those around you because what I've personally found is that anxiety,

Like the real root of anxiety,

Is usually a result of a lack of time,

A lack of money,

A lack of affection,

Or a lack of information of what's to come.

Those are what I have found have created the most anxiety for me is when I'm feeling that lack or that unknown.

While there really is no way to have everything and to know everything and have unlimited time and money,

By setting healthy boundaries we're able to at least reduce the amount of anxiety that we experience.

So these boundaries could be anything from setting boundaries to the way that you eat to the time that you go to sleep or to creating structure in your life.

Even setting boundaries on how you're going to spend your time or how you're going to spend your money,

There are a lot of different things that are not really simple to do but they're definitely necessary and you need to have the discipline to be able to take responsibility for setting your own boundaries for yourself,

The way you carry yourself,

The way you behave,

The way you think,

And the way you feel.

And if there are other people around you that are a source of anxiety for you then you need to either eliminate or reduce the contact with them.

I know there's certain people in family situations where you know you can't just get rid of certain people,

They're your family,

But if you can reduce the amount of time that you spend around them that can really be helpful in minimizing toxic people or the toxic environments that you surround yourself in.

And just setting healthy boundaries will help you really feel less anxious and you feel more in control,

Not really because you're controlling people or you're controlling situations,

But you're controlling how you decide to respond to them,

How you decide to engage with the people around you,

With your environment.

You have control over that,

You don't have control over other people.

In a way boundaries kind of give us a power to feel like okay we can exercise the choice of who to spend time with,

We can exercise the choice of where to be,

Where to go,

What to do,

Different things like that.

So it really does take courage and confidence to be able to set healthy boundaries with yourself and with other people,

But it's definitely worth it because you need to stop allowing other people or situations to steal your peace of mind.

No matter what it is or who it is,

Nothing is worth your peace of mind.

And so if you find yourself in a situation that's challenging and difficult and creating a lot of anxiety for you,

You can stabilize the opposition or the confrontation by choosing not to participate.

You always have the choice not to participate and to walk away because it's not really worth it.

It's not worth your time,

It's not worth your energy.

So that's why it's really important to set healthy boundaries and then to have the self-discipline to carry through with whatever commitment you have made.

For example,

If you're like okay I don't really like this person,

They create a lot of anxiety for me,

Then you can make a personal commitment to yourself that says hey the most amount of time that I'm gonna be spending with this person is 20 minutes max.

And so setting that time limit and allowing yourself to feel that control and say hey this is my choice,

I know I'm not able to completely eliminate this person from my life,

But I'm going to minimize the time that I'm spending around them and I'm gonna make it 20 minutes max and after that I'm going to dismiss myself because it's my personal choice to not participate any further and stay in a challenging or difficult situation that creates anxiety for me.

So a lot of this transformation of energy that goes from anxiety to neutral to like positive energy and joy and love and light,

It takes time,

It takes practice,

It takes a lot of patience because it's not like one day you're gonna be anxious and then the next day you're gonna wake up and feel happiness and joy.

It's gonna be something that you're gonna need to really work at and you're gonna need a lot of patience and practice with yourself.

And I think the biggest thing for me that has really helped me is acknowledging that during the time that I'm feeling anxious there's really no imminent threat that is right in front of me.

There's not a tiger that's gonna jump out at me and bite me,

There's not a dangerous animal chasing me down,

None of those things are happening while I'm feeling the anxiety.

A lot of the times the anxiety is all in our minds.

Our minds create these like scenarios of worst-case scenarios,

Fears of the future,

Fears of not having enough and then it really kind of gets us in this cycle that is really negative for us and it carries that negative energy into other days.

So the biggest thing for me was to really call myself and center myself and look around in my environment and realize there is no imminent threat.

It's really a lot of it is in my mind and it's just projections of different fears that I have.

It's not like a real threat and I think once I realize that then I'm able to kind of slow down,

I'm not in the fight-or-flight mode and I'm able to kind of redirect that energy and it's something that's more neutral and more centering and more grounding and then from there I'll create something exciting for me.

So I'll start thinking okay what do I love to do?

Let me focus on something that I'm really passionate about since I've got all this transmuted energy that I've collected and so I want to direct this energy to something that'll help me,

That'll grow me,

That'll actually empower me to move forward and I don't feel stuck and frustrated.

So I think the really good news is that even though you feel anxiety that means that you have a lot of energy that's available to you and you just need to know how to neutralize it and also redirect it to something that's more positive and helpful for you.

I think another thing worth mentioning is that your energy is contagious so whenever you are anxious and you surround yourself with people your anxiety is somewhat distributed to those people.

Like they might pick up on your energy and they might not be fully aware of it but they're able to pick up on that and so in order for you to feel happy and connect with people and open it's gonna be really challenging with that kind of barrier of anxieties.

The other thing is also true whenever you're feeling love and joy and happiness that kind of energy is also contagious so learning how to take negative energy,

Neutralize it and turning it into positive energy can really help shift the direction of your life and the outlook of how you see the world and how you see yourself in it.

Every single person is a container and a conductor of energy just like a battery and I feel that there's never really a way that we're taught to how to work with our energy,

How to direct it,

How to transmute it and how to make it work to our benefit and not to our detriment by allowing anxiety or frustration or any other negative emotion to freeze us or make us feel stuck.

So really it's up to you.

It's your personal commitment to yourself whether you're gonna make the decision to be a positive conductor of energy or a negative conductor of energy and no matter how much anxiety you feel you always have the choice to be able to neutralize yourself and to be able to choose not to participate in whatever situation is placing you in this challenging place.

So if you're feeling anxiety I really encourage you to find different ways for you to ground yourself.

You might need to experiment like I shared with you.

Yoga really grounds me.

Music,

Visualization,

Different things like that really ground me.

So I encourage you to really find something that grounds you,

That centers you.

Generally what works the very best for me is just going outside and being in nature and being reminded of how tiny I really am in comparison to the magnitude of Mother Earth who's always protecting me and taking care of me and I feel that that is so uplifting and empowering and it just kind of reduces my anxiety.

So again no matter how much anxiety you feel that means that you're just that much of a container,

That much of a conductor of energy and that energy that you have can always be neutralized and transformed into something good.

And by setting boundaries you're also helping yourself stay out of challenging situations that create anxiety for you.

So that is the message for today.

I hope that whatever anxiety you're feeling you're able to neutralize yourself and to transform it into positive energy that can help you and guide you live a happier and better life and that you also learn how to set healthy boundaries and have the commitment to yourself to follow through and not place yourself in situations that create fear and anxiety and place you in a defensive place.

Thank you so much for tuning in and see you again next time.

Goodbye!

Thank you for joining us today.

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Decide to choose yourself.

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Create the life of your dreams and live in harmony and abundance every single day.

See you again soon!

Reviews

Very helpful and informative.
I do go to yoga which does bring into the current moment.
I do have problems with allowing myself to fall away from the good habits that help curve my anxiety.
Thank you.

Very helpful, thanks so much.

Right on the mark! Now, if I can implement your strategies. Yoga is a lifesaver!

Helpful. Thanks!