Change Your Mindset Toward Narcissistic People In Your Life

To thrive after narcissistic abuse, you will need to change your entire mindset toward narcissistic people in your life. The key to maintaining your sanity is not to take their attempts at baiting you into circular conversations where they get to act out their need to persecute others with self-righteous indignation. If you confuse love with guilt and obligation, and especially if you have high empathy and struggle to end toxic relationships due to abandonment issues, letting go can trigger complex trauma symptoms such as a burning brain, heart palpitations, brain fog, mental confusion, and emotional paralysis.

Transcript

Welcome to Breakdown to Breakthrough,

The podcast that empowers you to transform your life by awakening to your true,

Authentic self.

I'm Lisa A.

Romano,

Your host.

As an award-winning author and certified life coach,

I've dedicated my life to helping others understand the incredible power of an organized mind.

I believe that true empowerment begins with awakening to our life.

My mission is to support you on your journey toward mental and emotional regeneration through conscious and deliberate awakening.

In this podcast,

I'll share insights,

Tools,

And transformative stories that illuminate the path to healing and self-discovery.

If you're here,

Chances are you've been driven here.

Chances are you've had to record your conversations because the narcissist has tried so hard to convince you that you're crazy.

Chances are that you have cried yourself to sleep,

Not understanding the dynamics of your relationship.

Stop talking to them.

They don't hear you.

And yes,

A narcissist can fawn after your approval,

Especially after they begin to understand the gig is up,

Especially after they begin to understand that you see through them.

This can be a very destabilizing time in not only the narcissist's life,

But also in your life because it means that you can't live in denial anymore.

It means that you can't hold up the facade anymore.

It means that you're finally going to have to deal with the feelings that maybe you have been ignoring,

Feelings that the narcissist has caused you to believe are unfair or invalid.

And also,

If you are a codependent and you tend to be a people pleaser,

Then this is going to be a time in your life where,

Even though you've always seen the narcissist's boo-boos,

You may even understand,

If you're highly empathic,

Why the narcissist can be abusive,

This is going to be a time where your world is rocked because it is going to be the time where you begin to realize you have to let go.

You have to preserve the self.

This is not easy for somebody who has high empathy or someone who is highly codependent,

And especially if you have been in a relationship with an exploitive narcissist,

A vulnerable narcissist,

A grandiose,

Overt narcissist.

These are people who lack empathy.

These are people who are very grandiose in their perception of self.

Everything is larger than life.

They stub their tail,

It's larger than life.

They get a kudos at work,

It is the greatest thing that's ever happened in the entire world.

Doesn't matter that you've got an incredible recommendation or accommodation at work.

When a narcissist gets a pat on the back,

It's as if they've climbed Mount Everest,

And woe to you if you don't treat them and throw bouquets of flowers at them because they've achieved this.

They have the best lawn in the neighborhood,

They're going to want you to acknowledge that.

We're dealing with people who are grandiose in their perception of self.

Just think about this because I'm not sure it's ever been said this way before,

And this might click.

They're grandiose in this perception that whatever is going on in their life is grandiose and of the utmost importance.

It doesn't matter that you get 30,

40,

50 texts a day about one silly thing.

The narcissist really does expect that you're going to sit there and read all these texts.

You're going to remember them,

You're going to recite them because whatever's going on in their life is supposed to trump whatever's going on in your life because they lack empathy.

Remember that when we're dealing with a narcissist,

It could work in either direction and it does.

If something really negative is going on in their life and let's say it happens,

They get fired or they get written up or there's a negative review about them somewhere out there on the internet,

Expect them to turn into silverback gorillas and want to pout like a large giant two-year-old in a toy store that mommy is saying no to.

Expect them to actually give the impression or the feeling like,

Wow,

At any moment they're going to start flipping the furniture because they're so thin-skinned.

The mask is about to slip and they don't want that to happen.

In order to feel whole,

Then they have to keep up with this facade.

When the facade of this idea that people are looking up to them begins to fade or something happens,

Then that rocks a narcissist's world.

In that time and space,

That's when you're going to really see them unravel.

Narcissists are great as long as you fawn after them,

As long as you tend to them hand and foot,

As long as you anticipate their needs and tell them how beautiful they are and how successful they are and how great they are.

If their world starts to fall apart,

You have to put on another hat and that hat is,

Of course,

The world is out to get you,

Life is unfair,

You don't deserve this.

Even though in your heart you know that this person should be behaving differently,

You know even that this person has brought this upon themselves,

But you as someone who may be struggling with codependency or high empathy or you have just been with a narcissist so long that your Amy the amygdala and Harry the hippocampus have figured out that if you just give this person a pacifier,

They leave you the hell alone.

Still not healthy,

You're still in a narcissistic codependent tango,

Your life is still like you're wading water,

You're not getting anywhere,

You're just trying to get through the next moment.

I personally don't feel like that's the way to live,

But that's the way my mother lived,

That's the way my grandmothers lived,

That's all I saw growing up and I knew that when I started to wake up to my own codependency and who I believed my ex's vulnerable narcissistic traits,

When I began to wake up and I realized that if I didn't change,

My children were doomed for the same fate as I because all I did was follow the subconscious pattern and program that had been downloaded into my psyche and at a subconscious level,

Dear ones,

It is what it is,

You can only see what you believe.

There's mounting evidence,

Deepak Chopra has been talking about it,

So many people,

So many scientists in the field of quantum studies and consciousness are saying like,

Holy Hannah,

If you don't have data for it,

You can't experience it and that's why I love staying in this field working with adult children with the wounds of the inner child and helping them turn their inner wounds into their greatest inner strengths because I don't think it's fair that you can be born behind the eight ball,

Not get the type of parenting that a human being needs to live a successful life and get stuck in this paradigm and not realize that at your core you're a creator and if we can teach you how to think differently,

If we can give you certain skills,

Then we can get you through that paradigm and we can help you create an entirely new paradigm like I have.

You know,

My ex used to make fun of me for reading self-help books and now I write them.

How cool is that?

I created a new paradigm for myself.

I imagined a new reality.

I imagined what it would be like to be loved,

To be heard,

To be understood.

What would it be like to love myself every day?

What would it be like to have a stainless steel spine?

What would it be like to be able to speak my truth?

And even though the someone sitting across from me might not agree with me,

I was able to hold on to myself and break free and break through codependency.

I imagined that life and only because I imagined a new life was I able to draw it into my life.

And so that's really key.

A lot of people that follow me on various platforms,

They write me,

Oh,

It's too late for me.

And I always think how sad is that?

Because as long as you're breathing,

It's not too late for you because the minute you start changing the way you look at things,

The way you,

The things that you look at change and I want to help you do that.

To me,

It's a win-win.

So today we're going to do that.

We're going to talk about some of the things that you can do after a narcissistic relationship.

And these are some of the things that I did.

There were so many other things,

But for the sake of time and for the sake of the human brain trying to digest some of the things that are the most powerful,

Because this is a very confusing time.

As you start to awaken,

Oh my God,

I've been married to a narcissist for 20 years.

It's always been this way.

Like,

Why am I waking up now?

Why am I seeing this now?

Well,

You're ready to see it.

You're ready to deal with codependency.

You're ready to say no more.

You're ready to deal with your inner child wounds.

And you're just so much more conscious of this slave-like relationship that you just can't look at yourself in the mirror anymore and know that you're not doing anything about it.

So it's a different timeline for everybody.

If you're here,

Chances are you've been driven here.

Chances are you've had to record your conversations because the narcissist has tried so hard to convince you that you're crazy.

Chances are that you have cried yourself to sleep,

Not understanding the dynamics of your relationship.

Chances are that you've had so much pain that you have to start asking different questions.

Chances are that you've been cheated on and discarded and you know that you can't go,

You can't have contact with this person.

So you turn to various platforms.

Thank heaven we have these social media platforms today that can educate you for free,

That can educate you at two o'clock in the morning,

Which is when I most needed videos like this and podcasts like this.

That's when I needed that person in the middle of the night,

Someone I didn't have to know them.

I just needed to know they understood me.

And that would have been enough to get me to six o'clock in the morning and eight o'clock in the morning just to face another day.

That's why these are so powerful.

And I want to give you some tips today and I really hope that they're helpful.

So the first thing that I want to say is that after the relationship ends and you're beginning to get a clue as to what has happened here,

The first thing that I want you to do is to stop talking to the narcissist.

Now I don't mean like go cold turkey and never talk to them.

I mean that your agenda is to gray rock them or your agenda is to stop giving them information that's unnecessary.

So you go from over explaining yourself to thinking about this mindset shift,

Like I'm going to start letting go of thinking I can get through to this person.

I'm going to stop letting go of thinking that if I explain it 10 different ways,

Maybe then he'll get it or maybe then she'll get it.

I'm going to accept that narcissists are designed to not hear me.

Their brains,

Their personality,

Every neuron in their body is designed to give me the impression that they care,

But they really don't.

I'm going to accept that there's no empathy or there is a lack of empathy in this person.

And so rather than stay on this loop of defending myself and explaining myself or over explaining myself,

I'm just going to stop doing that.

And so if the narcissist walks in and tries to engage me in a difficult conversation,

I'm not adding to the conversation anything more than necessary.

And what's most important is that my mindset and my heart towards this person,

They're changing.

So you're changing in the psychological realm,

You're changing in the mental realm,

And you're changing in the spiritual realm,

And that's going to change you on a quantum level.

Your cells are going to start behaving differently as you start shutting down your emotions towards a narcissist and you're developing this,

Okay,

Think what you want,

Judge what you want,

Perceive me the way you want,

It's totally fine,

I give you permission,

Right?

Just give them permission.

I've been saying this for many years,

Just let them think what they want.

You have nothing to prove.

So that's the first thing that you want to start to do.

And that's going to be a mental practice for you because in terms of codependency recovery,

Which is what I teach,

Is that first internal boundary is that.

It's dealing with the narcissist internally,

Where you imagine that you have this hand that comes down between the conversation in your mind and this person on the outside,

And that hand comes down and says,

No more,

Not today,

We're not engaging.

We're not trying anymore.

We're not over-explaining anymore.

We are going to give this person permission to think what they want.

I'm not giving any more information or any more data.

They're not dragging me down a rabbit hole anymore.

Huge.

So what's happening is you're developing the mental skill to develop an internal mental,

Psychological,

Cognitive,

And emotional boundary.

Without that,

Another narcissist is just going to come right after this one and sweep you up in the same dynamics.

So this internal boundary is huge.

The second thing is that what I want you to do is just find about an hour a day and educate yourself on everything narcissism,

And find people that you resonate with.

Find people that speak your language.

Find people that you can relate to.

Find people that I would say primarily have gotten to the other side of this relationship,

And I suggest finding people who are in happy relationships today.

People who not only understand narcissism because they went through it,

And they understand what it takes to disentangle yourself and to heal from that trauma bond and the cognitive dissonance,

But my advice would be to follow someone or to listen to someone who is actually in a successful relationship today.

Somebody who has a track record of putting their money where their mouth is.

Because there's so many videos out there and so many podcasts and so many books about narcissism today that just about anybody can start a YouTube channel about narcissism.

But to really recover from narcissistic abuse is to be someone who has decided that because of this experience,

And it could be parental narcissism,

I'm not letting everything that's happened to me prevent me from having the life that I deserve,

Because I deserve to be happy.

And so are you really happy if you isolate?

You're protecting yourself.

You're still in survival.

Sure,

It has your bets and you're not going to be abused by the outside as often,

But isn't it great to consider that you can heal and that you can re-emerge into the world like Joseph Campbell talks about on the hero's journey?

That you can go into the cocoon and you can come out this magnificent butterfly and create the life that you want?

And so my advice would be to really harness the information from people who have made it to the other side.

That's not to say that people who are single and therapists out there and psychologists out there that are single and are still struggling can't offer you valid information.

I'm not saying that.

But I'm saying for the long haul to overcome narcissism,

Narcissistic abuse,

I have found that the people who get to the other side are those that I can trust the most,

Because they had to put their money where their mouth was.

Their life skills that they're teaching,

They had to be so utilized in their own life in order to experience relationship success that I can trust them.

So that would be the second thing.

The third thing would be that I would ask you to be super conscious about the propensity to fawn after a narcissist once the relationship begins to destabilize.

I did this.

Many of my clients still do this,

And they struggle with this,

And I coach them through it all the time.

So what it looks like is essentially,

Let's say you have some breakdown in your relationship with a narcissist.

And now all of a sudden,

The narcissist starts fawning after you,

Because he or she can sense that you're pulling away.

Such a common dynamic.

So yes,

Narcissists fawn,

And a narcissist will fawn after you if they feel like you're getting a clue as to who they are.

So it's sort of like when your child knows that they went into the cookie jar,

And they shouldn't have,

And they know that you're going to be upset about that,

And now the child can't do enough for you.

Oh,

Mommy,

Can I help you with this?

Mommy,

Can I help you with that?

It's going to go back to the stabilized place in that relationship where the child is supposed to be pushing the limits and supposed to be narcissistic.

It's just the child senses that,

Uh-oh,

Maybe there might be some punishment because I went against what my mommy said.

So yes,

Narcissists fawn.

So we reduce the temptation and eliminate the possibility of you getting dragged into this and staying stuck in this dynamic by recognizing when a narcissist starts to fawn,

And then don't give into it.

So let's say they want to do something nice for you.

So for six months,

You've been complaining about the backyard needs to be pressure washed.

Now you notice that the mask has slipped with the narcissist,

So you start pulling back.

Now the narcissist recognizes that you notice that the mask has slipped just by you shutty-shutty,

Just by you giving them the nod,

Uh-huh,

Just by you not arguing,

OK,

If that's what you want to think,

It's fine.

I'm not going to argue with you.

So you're not engaging with the same emotional intensity.

The narcissist will gauge your interaction or your interest in them by the emotional intensity you offer them.

This is why I teach shutty-shutty and boundaries so often.

And so now you notice that the narcissist suddenly knows where the pressure washer is.

And without asking,

One day,

Bright and early on a Sunday morning,

You hear the pressure washer machine.

Narcissist is seeking your approval.

They won't tell you that.

But here's the clinch.

Here's the center.

Now that the narcissist has done that,

You owe them.

You're not allowed to be angry.

You're not allowed to hold anything against them.

So it's a trade-off.

So this thing that they're doing for you,

It's just temporary.

It's used as a commodity to use it against you.

Don't fall for it.

They want to clean the backyard.

That's great.

But don't fall into fawning after them when they're fawning after you.

So I would say,

Gray rock in that situation.

Thanks,

Honey.

Appreciate it.

And let it go.

No extra fawning.

No,

You're terrific.

You're this.

No.

Now,

That's going to trade to the narcissist because they're going to be looking for so much more.

Go right back to the first step.

Do not engage.

Don't ever explain.

Give them permission to feel what they feel.

Even say,

I'm really sorry that that's your perception right now,

But I'm going to go lay down because I'm getting a headache.

Do anything you need to do to disengage.

And if you have to,

Even leave the property if you need to.

But I'm just warning you that they're very predictable,

And this is the cycle that you're going to have to be aware of.

And as you're healing from codependency and any potential wounds that made it even more impossible for you to leave this narcissistic relationship,

You're going to need to learn how to set those boundaries.

So the fourth thing is to,

While this is happening,

Your mind is going to need something other than this person to focus on.

This is the perfect opportunity to start working on your inner wounds,

To start addressing what are the wounds that made it impossible for me to stand up to the narcissist?

What was it about the love bombing stage and the rushing me for friendship stage that,

Why was it so intoxicating for me?

Well,

The more starved you are for love,

The more intoxicating it's going to be,

The more drunk on love you're going to feel when someone rushes you in and tries to pull you in,

Tries to be your best friend,

Tries to be everything that you need them to be.

It's all a ploy for a narcissist.

They don't want you to love them as much as they want you to need them,

And they want you to need them so that they can abuse you and exploit you.

That's the goal here.

And so you really want to be aware of that.

What it looks like to heal from your inner child wounds is to carve out an hour of your day to start investigating your inner child.

And it's so interesting that the men that come on these trips say,

I didn't even know I had an inner child until I started doing your work,

And it has changed my life.

So now's the time to really look within,

And it's wonderful because you're going to start developing self-compassion and self-respect because in time,

If you're doing the inner child work correctly,

Then you imagine that the narcissist is speaking to your inner child in a certain way.

You start to imagine and envision the narcissist treating your inner child with disrespect.

You start being this observer of how gaslighting,

Projection,

Flying monkeys,

Triangulation,

Severe victimhood,

You start realizing how all of these tools of manipulation,

All of these games are being used against your inner child,

And it becomes so much easier to set boundaries from that perspective.

The fifth thing that I'd like to suggest is to actively seek support.

Any resource that you can get your hands on outside of you that will give you a place to land as you learn more about what narcissism is,

What codependency is,

What inner child wounds are,

How they all kind of fit together.

And I highly recommend anybody who has a history of alcoholism in their family to also do work on ACOA issues.

Understanding the adult child of alcoholic at a psychological level,

You start to understand why it is that you went into a people-pleasing role,

And rather than marry a happy person,

You married a project.

You married somebody that you had to fix.

You married someone that you had to become a caretaker to.

You kept hoping and hoping and hoping and hoping that one day it was going to get better.

That's what adult children of alcoholics are trained to do.

They're brainwashed to be the fixer,

The caretaker,

The rescuer,

The hero.

And in the background of the psyche is,

One day it's going to get better.

One day it's going to get better.

One day it's going to get better.

So it's a false reality.

It's a cognitive distortion,

And it's a fallacy.

And in all of my work,

I try to help people deconstruct these fallacies in a very systematic way.

So we clear them away for healthier cognition,

Healthier belief systems,

Which becomes the foundation of their future desired reality,

Which is amazing.

But with these cognitive distortions at the subconscious level,

They sabotage you.

And so it's really important that as you're healing at the subatomic level,

As you're healing at the subconscious level,

You get support.

It might look like a therapist who's trained in CPTSD,

Or a therapist who's trained in narcissistic abuse.

It might look like working with a life coach like myself,

Who is trained in codependency and trained in narcissistic abuse,

Who's the experts in these fields.

So you really want to start branching out,

Getting out of your mind,

Getting out of your box,

Getting out into the world that can support where you are now.

Remember a narcissist has most likely isolated you.

They've tried to make you feel crazy for thinking differently.

Personally,

I remember when my ex would make fun of me for going to a CODA meeting or an Al-Anon meeting,

Just trying to better myself,

Like it was such a threat to him.

But at the time,

I was so codependent,

I had been so emotionally abused by my mom,

And verbally abused,

Psychologically abused by my mom,

And even my dad,

And my family,

That it was just,

I believed him.

I thought maybe he's right.

Maybe I am selfish for reading Codependent No More.

Maybe I am selfish for asking to go sit downstairs by myself so I can spend 15 minutes journaling.

Maybe I am selfish for wanting to go into therapy.

Maybe he's right.

Maybe he's right.

And eventually,

As I stayed on this path and I dug in and I dug in,

I was like,

He's wrong.

Like a healthy partner does not mock you for wanting to better yourself.

They do everything they can to support you.

And eventually,

The fog of childhood,

The inner child wounds,

Eventually my higher self,

The prefrontal lobe came back online.

As I was learning to emotionally regulate Amy the amygdala and Harry the hippocampus,

The prefrontal lobe activation,

The executive branch of my brain,

Started to come online.

That was a long process,

But it worked.

And as that area of my brain,

The neocortex,

Began to come online,

I was able to imagine,

Now wait a minute,

If he was diagnosed with something,

Whatever it was,

And he went to the bookstore and got a bunch of books on it,

Workbooks,

What would I do?

I would support him 100%.

I wouldn't mock him.

And suddenly,

That separation between me and him and the way that he was treating me,

It started to empower me.

I started to realize,

Wait a minute,

My perception of him,

My feelings of disgust towards him,

Because I really was disgusted by him,

By the time I was able to tell the truth,

Doesn't mean that I was healthy,

Because I was not.

I certainly had my own breakdowns,

Mental and emotional breakdowns,

During that time when we were separating.

It was the worst time of my life,

But it turned out to be the catalyst for the best part of my life.

It's why I'm here right now,

Doing what I'm doing with you.

And so,

It was a really hard time.

But as I began to activate the prefrontal lobe,

Which happened because of all the self-help work I was doing,

All the self-love I was doing,

All of the distancing from childhood and understanding the connections to childhood,

Something magical happened in my brain.

Neurology kicked on,

Prefrontal lobe executive branch function of my brain kicked on,

Metacognition kicked on.

And it was like,

Boom,

Boom,

Boom,

Boom,

Boom,

Light bulb moments,

Light bulb moments,

Breakthrough moments,

Breakthrough moments.

And being able to say to him,

You know,

I'd never treat you this way.

If you were diagnosed with schizophrenia,

If you were diagnosed with depersonalization disorder,

If you were diagnosed with bipolar disease,

I would never treat you this way.

I would go to meetings with you.

I would go to the doctors with you.

I would sit down beside you and read the books that you read.

I would never treat you this way.

It was so empowering.

But while I was in the midst of the inner child activating to this abandonment trauma and the fear of what other people would think,

And also the subconscious fear that,

Oh my God,

I'm a failure if this marriage falls apart,

What is he going to tell people?

What are my in-laws going to say?

What are my parents going to think?

Very codependent,

Fear-based thoughts.

As I began to flush all that out and understand that and heal,

Heal my inner child,

It was so much easier to find that space where I could objectively view him.

And in that space,

I began to understand,

Oh,

This is why I'm disgusted by you.

This is why I don't want you to touch me.

This is why you getting close to me sends chills down my spine.

I mean,

It was so bad that I didn't want to stand next to him.

I was disgusted by him.

My skin would crawl.

And so obviously living and being married to someone like this is very difficult.

And they can feel it.

When you start accepting how you feel,

They can feel it.

When you say,

No more intimacy,

No more hugging,

I want to move into another bedroom,

They're not happy.

As long as you are intimate with the narcissist,

They think everything's OK.

As long as you're going to external affairs with them,

They think,

OK,

I still got him.

I still got her.

It's when you start retracting,

And you start retreating,

And you start not doing that anymore,

And you're no longer as afraid of signaling,

I'm done,

That's when they start to really understand that you are done,

And you have to be careful in that situation.

That's why having a game plan,

An exit strategy is so important.

The last thing that I would say is don't stop.

In other words,

Lots of my clients,

And including myself,

Once I was out of that first relationship,

I wasn't doing enough to get clear about what I wanted in the future,

Which is why I ended up attracting one,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five,

Six narcissists in that time that I was separated from my husband and met my husband Anthony.

Separated from my first husband,

Or divorced,

Separated and divorced,

And then eventually finally manifested my wonderful husband Anthony.

So yeah,

It's exactly why,

Because I was not getting clear about who I was and what I wanted.

I was still in the throes of abandonment trauma,

And for me,

I had a false awakening.

I thought that he and I,

Or she and I,

Were codependent.

I had no idea.

I had no idea that I was sick.

I had no idea that I was toxic.

I had no idea that I had ignored and abandoned my inner child.

I had no idea that the little girl,

The terrified little girl inside of me,

Was doing the laundry,

Was intimate with my ex-husband,

Was having children.

I had no idea that my childhood affected me,

And that ending that relationship with one narcissist was enough.

Even those clients,

I just spoke to one recently,

Who is out of the relationship for two,

Three,

Four,

Five years,

And the first time she dates,

She's right back into a relationship with another one.

Why?

Because we haven't healed the resonance.

We haven't healed the emotions.

We haven't healed the cognitive distortions that put you in a place of caretaking and tolerating the intolerable.

We haven't dealt that.

We haven't dealt with that.

We haven't gotten that far yet,

And so ending a relationship with a narcissist is not enough.

You have to heal,

And you have to start imagining what is it that you do want,

So don't stop.

You have to really start thinking about who you are,

Who you want to be.

What does the best version of yourself look like?

What does the best version of you wake up and tell herself or tell himself every day?

What does the best healed version of you feel every day,

Day in and day out?

Where does the best version of you live?

What type of partner does the best version of you attract?

What do you tolerate?

What do you not tolerate?

You start prepaving for the future desired reality.

Remember what I said earlier,

And it's true.

I tell my kids.

I just talked to my youngest daughter today.

I was just like,

I'm sorry,

Kiddo.

One day I'm going to be off into the quantum field,

And I want you to know this stuff,

That if you're not imagining what you want,

You can only get what you got.

And where people say,

Oh,

I don't have any luck,

Well,

You just commanded that into the quantum field too.

So if you don't think about the type of relationship that you want,

You're only going to get the type of relationships you've got.

No one's out to get you.

The ability to create a healthier life is within us all.

Now,

See PTSD,

Codependency,

Childhood trauma,

All sorts of trauma,

Are going to make it a little bit more difficult.

And it's going to be more cognitively,

Psychologically,

Mentally,

Emotionally,

Spiritually,

Vibrationally,

And even neurologically,

It is going to be more challenging for somebody who lives from a media amygdala.

Because in order to step into the God potential,

You have to activate higher consciousness.

And if you're not working with someone or working inside a roadmap or program or a system that helps you do that,

While you're also eradicating the past patterns and programs,

Dear one,

You're going to be frustrated.

Because you're going to be watching videos,

You're going to be reading books,

But you're not healing at the subatomic level.

You're not healing the cognitive dissonance at a quantum level.

So sure,

You're out of the relationship.

Sure,

You go to CODA.

Sure,

You do all that stuff.

And you isolate for two years,

Or you don't date for two years,

And boom,

You're right back into another narcissistic relationship.

What happened?

You did not clear the cognitive distortions at the subconscious mind,

So they're still active.

Whether you're conscious of them or not,

They're still active.

They're still running the ship.

And so when narcissist number seven shows up in your life,

You don't see it.

And if you do see it,

You do feel a red flag because of all of these cognitive distortions.

And because you haven't also,

Two things,

Cognitive distortion,

And you haven't laid down another track or another reality for a future reality,

You end up doing the same thing again.

Rinse,

Recycle,

And repeat.

So the crux of my work is to get this message over to you that you realize it's not you,

It's your programming.

And you can have a healthy relationship,

And you can have a healthy relationship with self.

You can stop abandoning the self.

You can eradicate the cognitive distortions at the subconscious mind.

You can.

But you have to work with people who know what they are,

Right?

This is all I do.

I've studied myself.

So I am so keen.

I understand so many blocks that somebody who comes from childhood trauma have.

I just have a conversation with them,

And I'm like,

Okay,

That's where she's stuck.

Okay,

That's her block.

Like this.

Because I've done it for the past 20 years.

It's all I've ever done.

And I'm also so aware of my own missteps.

I'm so aware of my own cognitive distortions and lies that childhood trauma tell me.

You're not good enough.

You're never going to make it.

You know,

You're only going to get so far.

Those are just cognitive distortions,

Because the truth is anything is possible.

Anything is possible.

The quantum field says that anything is possible.

But people believe the story they tell themselves and the story they've practiced over and over and over.

They don't realize that it's an unconscious blueprint.

It's an unconscious hologram.

You can have a new life.

I'm experiencing that now with my husband,

Anthony,

And his three children,

My three children.

I'm experiencing it now,

And I don't want to stop.

So I use my time so wisely today,

And I love working with the people that have had extraordinary pain in their life,

Who are willing to do the extraordinary healing work to have the extraordinary transformations.

That's fun.

That's a win-win.

And if you're here,

Yeah,

That's probably you.

Thank you so much for being here,

Dear one,

And believe that you are enough.

And also believe that you're worthy of happiness.

A lot of trauma survivors don't really believe that they deserve to be happy,

And everyone does,

Because everyone is a facet of the divine.

Namaste.

Namaste is a bow to the love and light that is absolutely in you.

Reviews

Thank you once again 🙏

Great.