Rejecting a narcissist is making a narcissist's worst nightmare come true.
What might happen when you have finally figured out who and what the narcissist is.
There are things that you have to mentally and emotionally,
Financially,
Physically and cognitively,
Spiritually,
Vibrationally prepare yourself for.
It's no different than why we study our enemies before we go to war.
We want to know what to expect.
If you go into this type of an experience not knowing what to expect,
It's so much easier for you to get knocked off balance.
I'm speaking from experience.
I did not know these things when I was going through my divorce.
I had no idea what to expect next.
I kept thinking that if I was kind,
If I was considerate,
If I was fair,
Then he would be fair in return.
That is not the case.
That is a complete kindergarten fantasy.
I was raised to believe that you should treat people the way you want to be treated.
I still believe that,
But I always sort of naively presumed that it was a no brainer.
That if I treated someone with respect and if I treated someone with dignity,
If I treated someone fairly,
Then that person would do the same in return.
When you were dealing with a healthy person,
That is the case.
When you were dealing with someone who has a personality disorder,
Someone who cannot emotionally regulate themselves and in fact relies on you as a source of narcissistic supply to regulate their emotions,
This is not the case.
When you reject the narcissist,
You are basically saying to Dracula,
The blood bank is closed,
Dracula.
Bye,
Dracula.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
No more blood for you.
For narcissists,
It's like Dracula needs to be invited into your home.
Dracula needs your blood.
To Dracula,
You are just a source of supply,
Blood supply,
And say no to Dracula and Dracula is angry.
Say no to a narcissist,
Meaning you pull the plug at being their source of narcissistic supply and they are not happy.
There are things that you should be aware of in case you decide to end a relationship with someone who you think may be narcissistic.
So we understand that narcissists rely on you for a source of narcissistic supply.
We also need to understand some fundamental things.
Narcissists fear vulnerability and that's why they have to appear better than you.
That's why they have to develop a false self.
The false self protects them from feelings of vulnerability.
It prevents real intimacy from happening,
Even though the narcissist needs you very much.
And in my humble opinion,
A narcissist is highly codependent because a narcissist cannot survive without sources of narcissistic supply.
They need to have people mirror back to them a sense that they are awesome.
And unfortunately they don't only want praise.
Sometimes the narcissist will settle for,
In lots of cases,
They'll settle for your fear.
They want to feel dominant over you.
And so even if you're not praising them,
That's okay as long as you're afraid to leave them.
As long as you jump when they tell you to jump.
As long as you walk around on eggshells.
And as long as you tolerate their dominance and their control over you,
The narcissist remains content and can be emotionally regulated.
This is what they need to maintain emotional regulation.
So imagine what happens inside this giant two-year-old when you pull the pacifier out of his or her mouth and you say,
No,
You're in the middle of a toy store.
The narcissist thinks that every single toy on the shelf is for him or for her.
Feels entitled.
This store is for me.
These toys are for me.
These are all my toys.
The narcissist only sees the toys,
Only sees himself or herself and believes that the toys are all for them.
And then mommy comes along and says,
No.
Pulls the pacifier out of the two-year-old's mouth.
And what happens?
This two-year-old becomes enraged.
This two-year-old throws a fit.
If this two-year-old is talking,
Not very nice things come out of this two-year-old's mouth,
Which is not unlike what happens when you pull the plug on a narcissist.
So rejecting a narcissist is making a narcissist's worst nightmare come true.
Because in most cases,
Although recent research has suggested that not all narcissists are created equal,
Meaning that there are narcissists who have high self-esteem.
They think they are really awesome.
They really do believe that they've been put on this earth to make a lot of money and they're entitled to make a lot of money.
And if they have to step on the heads of other people to do it,
So be it.
It's the cost of capitalism.
In other words,
There's a lack of social responsibility.
There's a lack of empathy for other people.
It's just me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me.
Some narcissists are created through overpraise by parents.
They're overindulged by their parents.
Their parents are entitled people and they teach their children.
They program and condition their children to feel entitled,
To feel better than other people.
And so again,
There's this lack of empathy.
This is idea that it's totally fine to exploit other people,
Especially people that a narcissist deems is less than.
And so recent research has suggested that that can be the case.
Past research,
However,
Has heavily relied on the idea or the concept that most narcissists suffer from narcissistic injuries.
Most narcissists come from very painful,
Abusive backgrounds as children,
And many of them struggle with incredible shame and abandonment trauma.
And so when you reject a narcissist,
It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But a narcissist won't see that they're part of the dynamic because they don't understand cause and effect.
They're too.
What they think is they're in pain.
You are the reason they are in pain.
Therefore it's all your fault they are in pain.
Therefore they have a right to be vindictive.
They have a right to abuse you.
And sadly,
This really is the way they view things.
And this is what makes them so dangerous because they're able to rationalize and justify being vile,
Being vindictive and being cruel.
And so it's important that we understand that rejection is definitely going to trigger narcissistic injury and you will be seen as a threat.
The narcissist has lived their life trying to avoid feeling vulnerable and all of a sudden now here it is.
They're feeling vulnerable.
Narcissists have done an amazing job at finding a way to be in relationships without actually relating.
Their passive aggressiveness,
Their condescending comments,
The way they project and gaslight their victims has all worked to avoid a narcissist from feeling too vulnerable.
The narcissist has worked very diligently through love bombing to make sure that you attach to them,
But they will never attach to you.
But that doesn't mean that you're ever supposed to leave them,
That you're ever supposed to figure them out,
That you were ever supposed to discard them,
That you were ever supposed to see such little value in them.
The narcissist does not believe that you have a right to treat them the way that they've treated you.
So it's important to understand that when you reject a narcissist,
You understand that the narcissist has lived his or her life avoiding being rejected by you.
