Hello and welcome to this Insight Timer Talk.
I'm Linda Hall.
When a conflict arises in the workplace,
Always remember that it can also present an opportunity to create a more positive work environment.
Whatever the reasons for the dispute,
The following steps will help to bring about a positive outcome.
1.
Stay calm.
Resist allowing yourself to become upset,
As this will disempower you,
And try not to let impatience or anger ride you,
As doing so is likely to destabilize and uncenter you.
Slow your breath down to calm yourself.
Feel the contact your feet are making with the ground to help you focus and stay steady and present.
2.
Identify the key issues involved.
Be as specific as you can,
So there's no room for misunderstandings.
If you're unsure what someone means by what they say,
Don't be afraid to ask them to clarify.
Mirror back to them in a non-confrontational way what you think you heard them to say,
With,
Just so I'm clear,
Am I right in thinking?
3.
Always focus on the issue,
Not the person involved or their particular personality traits.
Don't blame.
Pointing the finger doesn't help resolve conflict and generally only makes matters worse.
4.
Listen carefully and try to understand the issue from the other party's point of view.
Bear in mind that each of us is an individual and we all have different ways of seeing the world and expressing ourselves.
Take a step back to try to see the bigger picture.
Always respect diversity.
5.
Don't take things personally.
If something someone says or does feels emotionally charged for you,
It may be that this is because it has triggered an underlying issue of your own,
Such as low self-esteem or lack of confidence.
Or perhaps the person involved reminds you of someone who treated you badly in the past and this is now pushing your buttons.
Be careful not to let your own issues muddy the waters.
6.
Take responsibility for yourself.
Always ask yourself,
What was my role in this?
How could I have handled it better?
Ideally,
How would I have preferred things to turn out?
What would I do differently next time?
7.
Aim to seek an amicable resolution that satisfies all the parties involved and make practical,
Realistic recommendations to take forward.
8.
Act to resolve the conflict as quickly as possible,
Rather than allowing things to fester and potentially damage work morale.
9.
If you're the upset party,
Communicate clearly and in a level way.
It's okay to say you're angry or unhappy about something,
But it's unhelpful to let your emotions get the better of you,
As it may well inflame the situation.
Bear in mind that the person involved may have no idea they have upset you or that their behavior might be considered inappropriate.
10.
Resist making you-make-me-feel statements.
Take ownership of your feelings.
Remember that no one has the power to make you feel any particular way.
You always have more choices than you think about how to respond to what other people say and how they behave.
11.
If a company conflict resolution policy exists in your place of work,
Make use of it,
As this will provide you with a safe space to bring issues into the open and work them through with a mediator.
The golden rule is to try to view the situation and communicate and listen from as balanced and level a place as possible.
This is especially important if the conflict becomes heated.
To help you,
Remain calm,
Stay mindfully present,
And be sure to center and ground yourself.
Remember that neuroscience shows there is a part of your brain that can always observe,
No matter what's happening inside you or around you.
This offers you the power of choice.
When you notice unhelpful thoughts or uncomfortable feelings,
Instead of allowing yourself to be ridden by them,
You can choose to let the thoughts go and breathe through the feelings.
The practice of mindfulness harnesses this natural capacity of the brain.
The trick is to notice things from a neutral,
Non-judgmental position,
As if you're sitting back from everything a little.
This allows you to see your thoughts,
Feelings,
And sensations merely as something that's happening to you in the moment,
Nothing more,
Nothing less.
Practicing mindfulness will help you stay on an even keel.
During a conflict situation,
Notice if you are slipping into the position of victim or persecutor,
Or perhaps you're flip-flopping between the two.
Make sure to keep drawing yourself firmly back to the position of leveller,
As this should ensure the best outcome.
Bear in mind that workplace conflict is much more likely to occur when underlying stress is already present.
It may not be directly related to the issue in question,
And could be connected to anything from a noisy,
Cramped,
Or badly laid out work environment,
The pressure of deadlines,
Understaffing,
Excessive workload,
And poor management,
To lack of sleep,
Illness,
And family or relationship issues.
Therefore,
Good day-to-day stress management not only makes for a sound investment in your health and well-being,
But is a fundamentally important preventative measure to avoid workplace conflict.
If you find yourself involved in a conflict situation,
It can be helpful to pause for a moment,
Step back from things,
And ask yourself what the issue is really about for you.
What buttons has it pressed,
If any?
Are there any external factors involved,
Such as a bad night's sleep,
Feeling unwell,
A row with your partner,
Or worrying about the kids?
Take five,
Breathe out,
And do a reset.
To recap,
Here are your top 10 tips for managing and resolving conflicted work.
Stay calm,
Grounded,
And centered.
Reframe the conflict as an opportunity to move forward and create a more positive work environment.
Identify the key issues and ensure all parties involved are clear about what they are.
Focus on the issue,
Not the person.
Don't play the blame game or take things personally.
Take responsibility for your own feelings and actions.
Listen to and try to see things from the other person's point of view.
Step back to get the bigger picture.
Examine if there could be other external factors involved.
Aim for a swift,
Amicable resolution.
And lastly,
Make practical recommendations that support resolution.
I hope you've enjoyed this talk and found it helpful.
