Connecting With “And”

Discovering yourself in your own context. Checking in with our existence. Checking into the actual factual of our existence. What is beneath the thoughts that are here. It can be hard to remove our attention from the complexity, of our brains or thoughts, to what is here in a factual way. “Oh hi”.... feet on the carpet, back on the chair. Noticing stillness and movement at the same time.
Redirecting attention to the actual factual.

This recording was made in an online setting.

Transcript

As your body starts to settle in your space, Just letting that continue to happen until you feel comfortable in your own way. You can have eyes opened or closed here. So the mind will be going, It will be thinking, It will be doing what it does and we won't expect that to be different, So to speak. We won't expect to not have thoughts or mental engagement. And as best as we can, We will allow that or acknowledge that part of us to be what it is and at the same time to invite our attention to also notice what is beneath the thoughts that are here. So that's, I come to the words actual, Factual to reference that which is below thought. The fact of sitting, The fact of sit bones pressing into a chair, The fact that all of our bodies are held in the field of gravity and have a weight. That's a fact. Now connecting to actual, Factual can actually be hard because it is so simple and our minds are very complex, Almost like complex machines in a certain way. So it can be hard to remove our attention out of that complexity and below the chin so to speak, Below the chin or the judgments into what is here just in a factual way that could not have a sense of right or wrongness to it. That all of us have a weight to our bodies is a scientific law or fact and so we are all under that law so to speak. We all have a weight to our bodies. All of our bodies are making contact factually with something, Floor or chair or bed or something underneath and we can bring our attention to that which is holding our bodies just in that factual way and since we are all in our own context we can name it in our own minds. Feet are here, Sit bones are here, Back is resting here, Wherever here is for you and so forth. So taking a moment to do your own silent, Actual, Factual check in with your bones. There's nothing disputable about the location and the contact of your bones and I'll be silent for a moment while we do that. If you want to make it like a kind of fun game you can even say things like oh high wrists on the armchair or high feet on the floor, On the carpet. Just connecting to what is already here in an actual factual way. We're not really connecting to the experience of it or if it feels good or is enjoyable. We're not really connecting to that part of our brain as much as the part of the brain that allows us to just notice and have presence with what's here. If your thoughts catch your attention, If you get caught in your thoughts that's really normal you just gently return to discovering yourself here. There's my shoulder blades. They're against the chair or wherever they are. There's the lower spine. It's blah, Blah, Blah. There's my front ribs. They're da, Da, Da, Da, All in your own context. There is no right way to be sitting or in existence right now in this kind of way. So we are all in our own context just checking in with our existence. And this can be hard so if your mind gets lost in itself that's really normal. Just gently bring that attention back to your skeletal system, Back to your limbs, Back to something that is here and now. For most of us, Most of our bodies will be fairly still, Particularly the limbs. The part of the center part of our being will be moving with the breath, With the heart beating, With digestion. So the part between the pelvic floor and the nostrils will be in movement, In motion literally. And then the other parts of us will be fairly still so we'll notice this polarity again. We'll notice stillness and movement both at the same time. And the thoughts also will be moving. Thoughts will be moving. Our own narratives will be in movement. And again as you may get caught in that you just notice, Oh I'm thinking really normal. And if as possible to just very gently redirect that attention to the movement of breath or to the weight of the arms or something that is actual factual. When we're connecting to the actual factualness, Our sense of agenda or expectations starts to shift, Starts to kind of dissipate a bit because we're literally in this moment. And that's a pretty rare place for most of us to be in our culture. Our culture doesn't really subsist much in this moment. It mainly subsists in the past and in the future. And so our mind narratives will be constantly thinking about the past and constantly thinking about the future. And there will often be a tug of war between those two quote unquote places. Underneath that tug of war is our sit bones just sitting and arms resting and the breath coming in and out. The sitting body doesn't really have a lot of things to solve or fix. The sitting breathing body is pretty taken care of in this moment. So you might notice that even if in this moment right now maybe you're having emotional thoughts or psychological or emotional challenges right now, You'll notice that there is no danger in your room. And if you'd like you can even open the eyes to just notice that. We can look around and go, Oh, Okay. Our walls are steady. Our floors are stable. Our chairs are very stable. We can look and see that our bodies are on an actual factual level quite fine. And then comes the and. And we may be having frantic thoughts or charged emotions. And so we have the polarity of both simplicity and complexity. And we don't ignore one or the other. We don't ignore complex thoughts or worries or, You know, Whatever is in our reality. We don't necessarily ignore that but we also don't ignore the stillness of our chair and the way that our bodies can connect to the chair that's also still. We also don't ignore that even though we may be feeling unsettled, Unsettled thoughts or unsettled emotions, On a practical level our bodies, You know, Our limbs don't really have much to do. And they're just kind of resting here. And our breath is coming and going. And even the quality of the breath may not feel good. We may be having a tightness of breath or a hard time breathing. And factually speaking, The breath is still coming and going. It does not stop. But the quality of the experience may not be great. So we acknowledge that as it is. We don't try to change that or ignore that or deny that. But we slowly invite our attention or train our attention to notice both realities. Am I ever going to get out of X? X is never going to stop those worried thoughts, Those fearful thoughts that are valid based on our past experiences. We don't ignore that those thoughts and those worries are real to us. We acknowledge them and we acknowledge that in this moment, Our bodies are safe on a practical level. They may not feel 100% safe, But actually factually again, We connect to that level. And we notice that there is nothing no danger in this room. And we let that cognitive part of our awareness acknowledge that. If we don't learn how to drop into actual factual, The only place we can reside in is the fearful mind. So it does take practice to engage our reality in ways that are not completely mind dependent. And as we do that, We start to discover the and reality. The challenges coexist with the okayness. And we invite our nervous system to notice both, Both and. So in your own experiences, You may have thoughts that are or worries or narratives that have judgment in them or a weight to them. And just you can notice that they may have emotions, Maybe sadness or fear or anger or other emotions. You may have discomfort in your body that go along with that worry or those judgments so that might be a tightness somewhere in your body or a restriction. And that all may be true. And at the very same time, You might notice a part of your body that is not restricted or constricted. Maybe your feet are just fine or maybe your hands are okay as they are. And it can be practically useful to identify for us individually what the areas, The safe areas are of our existence so that we can include them when we are challenged. Now everyone's really different this way. Some people like to feel their hands and that is very useful in including the simplicity of their hands. Other people like to feel their feet. Other people like to feel some part of their breath, Maybe just the nostrils or maybe the whole breath. Other people might like the spine or one of my fun ones is the armpits, Maybe just hanging out with the armpits. Some part of our experience that's fairly neutral and that can be practically useful to include that neutrality when we are in worried thought. And when those thoughts come, Am I ever going to not have X going on or this anticipation of X happening? We can notice that, That being true for us and knowing that there's a settledness in the armpits. I'm going to go with that one, In the armpits. Or there's a settledness in the hands or that even though my body may feel tight, The breath is still factually coming in and out. The body is still rising and falling through and amidst any challenges. And we can also at any time return to this chair in a very conscious and cognitive way. We can remember, Oh yeah, This chair here and now, Oh it's got me. And then we can, If maybe, Maybe just maybe we can allow ourselves to really lean back into it, Into the chair behind us or the space under us wherever we're positioned so that our nervous system can recalibrate to the solidity of the chair or whatever we're upon. And even though our emotional or psychological well-being may not be in well-being, But our physical body is still supported and we can feel that directly. We can feel the object under our body that is literally holding us. And again for fun, If you want, You can even, You can have a narrative or a conversation with this chair. Oh, High chair, You got me. Oh, Yep, You got me. I'm being supported right now. Just to feel the actual factual of that in any moment is a gift to the nervous system. So, Thank you. I'm going to gently invite you to let the limbs start to move a little bit as we come to our, To the end of this rest. Letting the arms move, Letting the fingers move, The toes move. You can have the eyes open or closed. Maybe letting the body stretch a little bit. Letting your attention continue to stay connected to sitting and breathing. And then as you're ready, Let the eyes open and just taking your time and gently returning to the screen.