Okay,
Let's just take a moment to settle in,
Get comfortable,
Make any adjustments that you need to make.
Just make sure that you can sit comfortably,
Relaxed,
And alert.
When you're ready,
Gently close your eyes and begin to pay attention to the sounds around you.
Sounds in the room,
Outside,
Relaxing into the awareness of all the little noises you can hear.
Allow your mind to relax.
Allow your body to relax.
Using any obvious points of tension.
Now bringing your attention to your body.
Allow your focus to roam.
Any pockets of tension or tightness.
Maybe in your face or in your shoulders.
Allow these areas to relax.
Maybe at the base of the spine.
Or in the throat.
Begin to feel your whole breath in your body.
Notice how the chest expands on the inhale,
The shoulders raise.
And the relaxation on the exhale.
Now bring your attention to your breath in your belly.
Feeling your belly relax.
Allow your body to breathe naturally without controlling it.
And if you get distracted,
Just note the distractor,
Let it go,
And feel the breath in the belly.
Keeping the body relaxed.
I'd like you to bring your attention to the sensations in your right hand.
Notice any tingling.
Any feelings of temperature or pressure,
Points of contact.
And notice where it feels like you're sensing your hand from.
Does it feel like you're seeing your hand from somewhere behind your eyes?
Now point your attention towards what that feeling is.
What is giving you the impression that you're behind your eyes?
Don't look for an answer.
Just look with your attention.
You're looking for the feeling of being here.
The feeling of being a self.
The feeling of looking from a particular perspective.
You're just moving your attention towards it.
There's no goal here.
You're not trying to find exactly where you are,
Or to let go of yourself,
Or anything like that.
Just moving your attention to the sensations of being there.
You're treating as object of meditation,
The sense of being the meditator.
That sensations are giving you the impression that you are looking for yourself.
Maybe a feeling of locality,
Identity,
Feeling of here-ness being here as opposed to there.
At the same time,
Maintain a relaxed body.
Relax your face.
Relax your head.
Relax the base of the spine.
Move your attention to where your attention is coming from.
Letting go of any fear.
Allowing the belly to relax.
Continue looking for your sense of self.
You might repeat the word,
Me,
Or I,
Or mine,
And see what it is that responds to those words.
What is being referred to when you say I?
Me.
There's a cloud of sensations,
A collection of impressions,
Changing.
Somehow together is giving this impression of being here.
The feeling of a looker,
A doer.
Can you hear the voice of your own thoughts?
And feel for the speaker or the identity behind the thoughts.
How does it feel?
What are the sensations telling you that you're behind your eyes?
Move your attention to the center of your head.
To a point directly between the ears and behind your eyes.
Just gently relax this point.
Like releasing a fist or unclenching your hand.
Just allow the very center of your head to relax and open.
And at the same time,
Maintain your attention on the looker,
On you,
As you relax your head.
Let go of the need to understand.
You might notice your mind categorizing,
Explaining,
Conceptualizing,
Putting your experience in a box.
Say to yourself,
I don't know.
Feel the feeling of not knowing.
Just as an experiment.
When you don't know the answer,
How does it feel in your mind when you know you do not know?
You might feel the thinking mind relax.
When there's nothing to know,
There's nothing to think about.
I don't know.
In keeping this open,
Fresh,
Skeptical,
Inquisitive mindset,
Look once again for your sense of self.
And as you move your attention to where you're looking from,
Simultaneously holding your mind,
I don't know.
I'm not sure.
Relax your body into not knowing.
Give yourself a break from solving a problem or figuring something out.
Just look towards yourself without any need for understanding.
I'd like you to cultivate a sense of warmth and compassion in the way that you're looking at yourself.
You might feel your heart relax.
And see if you can bring a slight sense of tenderness or compassion or warmth,
Friendliness towards this sense of self that seems to be located in the head.
In other words,
To see the sense of self from the heart.
Once again,
Stay relaxed.
Stay open and let go of fear.
And if you get distracted,
Just come back to the self,
Treating this nebulous conglomeration of feelings as the meditation object.
Feel like looking inwards,
Looking to where you're looking from,
Examining,
Investigating this impression we have of being here.
Looking with friendliness and looking with open curiosity and looking with focus.
You might again repeat the words,
I or me.
Looking in your head.
You might ask,
Where am I?
Can I find with my attention where I am?
You might look for a part of yourself that's happy and at peace.
Is there a part of you looking out your eyes?
That's already at peace.
That doesn't seem affected by what's going on.
Can you angle your mind and your attention to just become aware of that part of you that is already at peace?
Just to notice it.
Part of you that is detached.
Not analyzing,
Just watching.
And now relax your attention a little bit.
And come back to the sensations in the body.
Feel your body breathing.
Notice if you can feel yourself observing from a particular location.
Notice also that the sensations of the body are experienced at the body.
There's a knowing of those sensations from where they arise.
Bring your attention back to the sounds in the room.
Being aware of the space around you again.
Notice yourself sat in the room.
How it feels to be here instead of there.
When you're ready,
Slowly open your eyes.
And allow your attention to acknowledge that you are still aware of what's happening to you.
.
