You Were Never The Problem

There are parts of you that you've probably learned to be suspicious of — the parts that overthink, pull away, need too much, or shut down when things matter most. In this practice, we are going to stop relating to these parts of you as a problem to be corrected. Instead of asking "what's wrong with me?", we will gently make space to ask, "when did this make sense?"

Transcript

There are parts of you you've learned to be suspicious of. The ones that overthink. The ones that pull away. The ones that need too much, Or feel too much, Or shut down when things matter the most. And maybe over time, You've come to believe that these parts say something about who you are. That they mean something is off. Something needs to fix or outgrow. So you watch yourself. You try to catch the reaction before it happens. You try to become someone who doesn't do that anymore. But even with all that effort, Something in you remains the same. The reactions still come. The patterns still show up. And underneath it all, The question, Why am I like this? What if these parts of you were never identity? What if they were responses? Not something you became, But something that formed. Formed in the moments where something mattered. Formed in environments that asked something of you. In the presence or absence of what was available. The environment and conditions of being human. Instead of looking at these parts of you as something to correct, Just for a moment, We're going to look at them differently. Let's begin by noticing your body and your breath. Feeling the surface beneath you. The presence of yourself here. Let your breath move naturally. And as you settle, You might bring to mind a pattern that's familiar to you. Something you've judged about yourself. Maybe it's pulling away or needing reassurance. Maybe it's shutting down. Becoming reactive. Just let that pattern come into awareness. Not as a story. But as something you have lived. Instead of asking, What's wrong with me? See what it's like to ask. When did this make sense? Not to analyze. But just to open the question. Letting your attention drop into your body again. Where do you feel this pattern when it shows up? Is there tension? Attraction? Kind of readiness? Allow yourself to feel it without trying to change it. As you stay with it, You might be in this sense that this response has intelligence to it. It moves quickly. It protects. It organizes. And even if it no longer fits your life now, There may have been a time when it did. Notice what happens when you stop relating to this part of you as a problem. And begin relating to it as something that formed. Does anything shift? Even slightly? You don't have to like it. But what happens when it's no longer who you are? That's something that happens within you. As you sit with it, You might begin to sense that you are here. And this pattern is here. And they are not the same thing. You and this pattern existing together. And in this space, There's a little more room. Room to notice. To feel. To not collapse into it. You may gently place a hand on your body. With a simple acknowledgement. This is here. And I am here. You can stay here for as long as you'd like. When you're ready, Slowly beginning to notice the space around you again. And carry with you the possibility that nothing here was ever proof that you are here. You are a problem.