The Side Of Self-Care That's Often Overlooked

You've heard me say before that self-care isn't ONLY naps and bubble baths. In this episode, we're talking about that crucial other side of self-care that's just as important and often gets overlooked. Plus, I encourage you all to try a new self-care method by walking us through her own self-care wins and losses. Please note: This track may include some explicit language.

Transcript

Think meditation is hard?

Do me a favor.

Take a slow,

Deep breath in.

And now breathe out.

Congratulations.

You just meditated.

Hi,

I'm Crystal Joukowsky,

And this is Breathe In,

Breathe Out,

A weekly mindfulness and meditation podcast for anyone ready to own their own shit and find a little peace while doing it.

Welcome back to Breathe In,

Breathe Out.

I'm Crystal Joukowsky.

Today is a great day.

I hope you're having a fabulous day.

I hope that you found something in the day to bring you joy.

And if it hasn't happened yet,

I hope that you find something within now and before you lay your head down to rest that just brings you a little bit of joy and brings a smile to your face.

I encourage all of my clients,

All of my listeners,

All of my email readers,

Just all of my people to do self-care.

And my definition of self-care is a conscious and intentional act focused on taking care of your self,

Your being,

Whether that's emotional,

Mental,

Physical,

Spiritual,

Doesn't matter.

The act itself is intentional and your aim,

Your goal is to take care of you.

Now I have to practice what I preach,

Which means if I'm going to tell people that they need to do self-care,

Then I too have to do self-care.

And recently I was telling people to try something new.

You just got to get outside your box and try something new,

Go out and try it and do it and do it.

And that means that I too needed to try something new.

So I've always been fascinated by floating.

If you've never heard of it,

Floating is there is this chamber and it has 10 inches of water and it has 2000 pounds worth of salts in this water.

And because there's so much salt in the water,

Your body floats and these chambers,

You close the door and you are in complete and total darkness.

It's kind of a sensory deprivation chamber.

The water is body temperature and when you lay back,

Your ears are under the water,

Which means that you're not really hearing anything.

So you don't hear anything.

You don't feel anything because the water is just like your skin,

The same temperature.

You don't see anything because it's dark.

You're just in this chamber,

In this tube.

So I've been intrigued by it for a very long time and I finally decided that I was going to go try it.

On the one hand,

I kind of hoped that I would have this inspiring like,

Ahhh moment and like the clouds would part and I would be inspired and I would just be able to come out of the chamber just a new person because some people had written about that and on the other hand,

I was really nervous because I wouldn't consider myself claustrophobic,

But I do have a fear of being buried alive.

And when I looked in that chamber and I saw how small it was,

It was not huge,

Not huge.

And it was going to be dark and I kind of was nervous about having a panic attack.

I wasn't sure that I could close the door and be okay in the dark in this chamber.

So I really had to steel myself and I did it because I wanted to try it and it's self-care and I'm telling everybody to try something new.

So I tried something new and it was unique.

It was absolutely.

There were moments that my like my legs did not feel attached.

My arms did not feel attached to my body.

Everything just was floating and separate and unique.

And right about the time that I thought,

Oh,

I can't handle this anymore.

I've just got to get out is when this music started to play to tell me that I had been there for an hour and a half.

I thought I'd only been in there for a half an hour,

Maybe 45 minutes,

But magically I survived and I did the entire hour and a half and I was so proud of myself.

Some people love it and think it is absolutely amazing.

Other people,

Not so much.

It really depends on who you are.

And those people who love it go back time and time and time again.

Now I think I'm going to go try it again because it's been niggling on the edges of my mind again.

And they do say that for first time people,

You should do it three times within the first few months to really get a feel for it.

So that was one of mine and I'm still a little bit on the fence,

But kind of off the fence.

And then I decided that I was also going to try pottery because pottery has been something that I've thought about a lot.

And I think that maybe it's from the ghost movie,

But just having that clay and the goop between your fingers as it's spinning on that wheel and you create something beautiful.

I just,

I thought that that was really cool and maybe a little bit romanticized.

So I decided I was going to try pottery.

Now that is something I fell in love with.

Absolutely fell in love with.

I did recognize that the only way for me to really do something on the pottery wheel is if I took a deep breath and I let everything else in my life go.

I tried to go in one day for a lesson and life was going for me.

It was really frustrating and I could not get that clay to center to save my life.

I was so frustrated.

So I stopped the wheel.

I stepped back,

I took a deep breath and I asked,

What's my problem?

And immediately it was,

You're just not here.

You're not present.

You're thinking about everything else.

So I went back to the wheel.

I cleared my mind.

I took a deep breath.

I put my hands on that clay and it centered just like that.

No issues whatsoever.

It was just,

I had to be present.

I had to be there.

I love pottery.

It's a new experience for me.

It's become a new self care thing for me because I have to be present because I have to be there in the moment and let everything else go.

I can't carry the stress from the day into the pottery.

It just won't work.

So I'm loving doing something new.

I'm loving trying something out and seeing how it goes and what can I make today?

What can I make tomorrow?

How is it going to look?

And then once I glaze it and fire it again,

Oh,

It's just so fun and it really soothes my soul.

The thing with self care is it's not all bubble baths and chocolate.

Self care is not all about just the feel good stuff,

A conscious intentional act focused on taking care of you and your self.

Yes,

There are going to be moments in self care that are absolutely beautiful and wonderful and fabulous and you're just,

You love it and you're at peace.

It might be that run and pounding the pavement.

Could be that you just really love folding laundry and taking that moment to fold laundry and block everything else for the day happens to be your self care.

Sometimes self care means doing the hard things.

Sometimes self care means you have to give yourself a budget so that you can make ends meet and while you don't like the budget,

It means that you are able to meet other goals.

Sometimes self care is having a hard conversation with someone to express your feelings or your thoughts or your hurt and having that hard conversation while on the one hand you have no desire to have it.

It is so waiting on you.

It is pressure that you are carrying around all the time and once you have that conversation,

It lifts that weight up and you have now given yourself a piece of self care because you lifted the weight.

Self care could be ending a toxic relationship whether and that's a relationship in any way,

Shape or form.

That's a relationship with food,

Relationship with money,

Relationship with a job or a partner,

Relationship in the broader sense of the word.

Is there a relationship that is toxic for you and you need to address it so that you can be better?

That doesn't sound like fun.

It's not champagne and strawberries.

However,

Oftentimes those deeper challenging things that we do to take care of ourselves are way more important and they yield way just immense benefits because we choose to take that moment,

Gift ourselves the opportunity to just change and shift.

So while I'm telling you that I want you to try new stuff and while I would love for you to share with me the new stuff that you're going to try,

I also hope that you add some of those quote unquote uglier side of self care things in there.

What can you do that's going to yield those bigger results?

What can you do that will lift the weight?

What shadows can you face?

What fears can you work with?

What rocks can you take out of your backpack?

How can you make your life easier and better?

The whole goal in my opinion with self care,

Number one,

I tell people that they need to include it in their everyday lives and oftentimes it's to get you out of the acute phase of needing self care.

It's to get you out of the,

I have let myself go so far that now I don't even know where to begin,

Right?

So you add a little bit of self care here.

You add a run or a walk or cooking a delicious meal or a drive.

You add simple little things that will make things make life a little bit easier.

And then once you're out of that acute phase of,

Oh my gosh,

What am I going to do?

That's when you can really address the more challenging parts that say,

You know what,

This really sucks.

And yet it's there and it's in my face.

And if I don't deal with it,

It's just going to keep festering.

So I guess there's not really any number one or number two or number three.

My bottom line is simply that I want you to do all sides of self care.

And my hope is that because you do a little bit now and then you dig into the deeper side of it and the heavier side of it,

That it just becomes easier to do self care and you have to schedule it less because it just starts to happen and you are naturally loving on yourself and you are naturally higher on the priority list,

Which means you're naturally living a more joyful,

Happy life in where you're at and how you feel because you yourself value yourself.

It doesn't come from anybody else.

It's all you.

My hope is that people can dive into both.

My hope is that people can start living these lives that are more fulfilling and happy.

A life that says,

No,

No,

No,

I'm worth it and I can do this.

And it's just easier.

You're able to give not only to those around you,

But yourself.

You are important.

You are a finite resource.

The more that you give to yourself,

The more that you are able to give to other people.

And by having those conversations,

By looking into your shadows,

By removing all of that heavy weight,

You also show other people how to do it.

You spread that message.

You spread that knowledge and understanding.

You spread that compassion and you teach people around you that it's okay.

By healing yourself,

You have the ability to heal other people.

And a lot of that comes from understanding yourself,

Working with yourself and making sure that you are getting your needs met.

So give yourself a little self care.

If you want to do the champagne and bubble baths,

Absolutely do that.

If you want to do the hikes and the physical stuff,

Do that.

And I highly encourage you to dig into the uglier side,

The more challenging side,

Because you will feel so much better when you address the issues that are staring you in the face.

I hope this moment of self care and healing brought you some hope and peace.

I'm Crystal Dzukowski on Instagram,

Facebook,

And YouTube.

And I hope you check us out and follow along for more content coming soon.

I look forward to being with you again here on Breathe In,

Breathe Out.

Until next time,

Take care.