This is the practice of Soften Soothe Allow for session 6 of the Mindful Self-Compassion course developed by Christopher Germer and Kristin Neff,
Script read by Dr.
Kimberly Sogi.
Please find a comfortable position.
Sitting or lying down.
Close your eyes.
Take three relaxing breaths.
And placing your hand on your heart or another soothing place for a few moments.
Reminding yourself you are here in this moment.
And that you too are worthy of kindness and compassion.
And in the moment,
Bringing to mind a mild to moderately difficult situation that you're dealing with right now.
This might be a health problem,
Stress in a relationship,
Someone you love who's in pain.
Don't choose a very difficult problem or a trivial problem.
Choose something that can generate a little stress in your body when you think of it.
And allowing the situation to form in your mind,
It can be either in the form of images or felt sense in the body,
Or words,
Who was there,
What was said,
What happened.
And now that you're thinking about this situation,
See if you can name the different emotions that arise within you.
Perhaps there's anger,
Or sadness,
Grief,
Confusion,
Fear.
Maybe desire,
Sometimes despair.
If you're able,
Pick out the strongest emotion,
The one with the strongest felt sense associated with this situation.
And perhaps just repeating the name of the emotion to yourself in a gentle,
Understanding voice,
As if you were validating for a friend what he or she is feeling.
That's longing.
Desire.
Rage.
But this is grief.
Gently noting what emotions are there.
Now expanding your awareness to your body as a whole.
Checking in with the difficult situation again,
While opening to awareness of sensation in the body.
Gently inhabiting the body,
Beginning with the attention at the top of the head.
And sweeping awareness from head down to toes.
And noticing where you can feel any tension or discomfort.
Where are you feeling this emotion in the body the most strongly?
And selecting the place in your body where the feeling expresses itself the most intensely.
It might be muscle tension,
Or an ache,
Or a heartache.
With friendliness,
As best you're able,
Inclining the mind gently towards this area of the body.
And as your attention is directed toward this area,
Softening into your area.
Letting the muscles soften,
Feeling them relax.
As if easing yourself into warm water.
Soothing,
Softening,
Softening.
And holding the intention not to change the feeling,
But to embrace it in a tender way.
And if the tension is too intense,
To soften close to the sensation,
The emotion.
Just softening a little around the edges,
As best you're able.
Softening.
And now,
If you're willing,
Setting an intention to soothe,
To soothe this being because of the experience in this difficult situation.
If you're willing,
Placing your hand over the part of your body that feels the intensity of the emotion.
And just allowing the warmth and gentle touch of your hand to bring some friendliness to this experience.
And if you're willing,
Imagining warmth and kindness flowing through this hand into this body.
If you're willing,
Treating this body as if it were the body of a beloved.
Soothing,
Soothing,
Soothing.
Perhaps,
This being needs to hear some comforting words.
Imagining you had a friend who was struggling in this way.
What would you say to this very dear friend?
I'm so sorry you feel this way.
I care.
I'm here for you.
And if you're willing,
Offer yourself a similar message directly.
May I be kind to myself in this situation.
Remembering that you are free to open your eyes whenever you wish or just let go of the exercise and return to focus on the breath.
And finally,
Just laying down all struggle with this experience,
Allowing the discomfort to be there,
Making space for the discomfort,
Releasing the need to struggle or to solve or to make this discomfort go away.
This is how it is right now.
Allowing this life,
This moment to be just as it is,
Allowing this being to be just as you are.
Just like this.
Just for this moment.
Softening,
Soothing,
Allowing.
And now even laying down the practice,
Letting go and returning the attention to the breath.
To inhabiting the body,
Feeling the sensations of the body as a whole from the inside.
Allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel.
Simply as you are in this moment.
