How To: Overcome Fear

I think many of you know that I've been on a really big fitness journey over the last few years but there's a deeper story to this that might surprise you.

So when I was in my 20s,

I'm 37 now,

By the way,

I was always in really,

Really good shape and I worked out a lot.

But something happened right around when I turned 30.

I decided that I was going to be celibate for a year to channel all of my creative energy and arrows into writing my first book,

Which I think many of you know about.

And during this time of writing my book and being a nun,

To be honest,

What really happened is I let my body get out of shape.

I let my health get off track.

But at the same time as my body and my health got off track,

Everything else in my life took off.

It like blasted off.

My career blew up.

I got nominated for a Grammy.

I launched 20 programs and trainings.

I published two books.

I began speaking all over the world.

And I don't say this to brag.

I say this because something else very unexpected happened as well.

And it was that I developed a fear.

Of getting back into my best body.

Now,

I know this sounds crazy,

But I had felt like so much magic had happened in my life as a result of me pulling this energy in that if I got really fit and got in really good shape and got really sexy again or whatever,

I would get distracted.

I'd be going on all kinds of dates and be on apps and hookups and sabotage everything that I had built.

But this situation isn't unique to me and it has nothing to do with bodies or working out.

I want you to ask yourself,

Have you ever made a change in your life?

And then got scared that you weren't going to be able to stay accountable and make that change last.

Well,

This was me.

And for six years,

I tried and I tried to work out and get back into shape and eat healthy.

And I'm a really committed person,

But I just couldn't do it.

I don't know if you've ever felt this way.

Like you just couldn't do it.

So I'd work out,

It would last for a couple weeks,

And then I'd quit.

And then finally.

.

.

Something happen that really shook me to waking up.

I'd been looking for a personal trainer for a long time.

And I got introduced to a trainer who was exactly what I was asking for.

He was every single thing that I had said I wanted in a trainer.

But then when it came down to the moment to sign the contract with him.

.

.

I said no.

I said no.

And that's when one of my friends told me to reflect on myself and it hit me.

That I was scared.

I was scared.

And this is the thing that I want you to know.

Fear.

When it comes in to sabotage you.

It doesn't come in and say,

Hey girl,

You're scared of growing.

Hey girl,

You're scared of expanding.

So I'm just going to stop you really quick.

What it does instead is it tricks you.

It comes in a disguise.

It comes in sounding very rational,

Like it makes a lot of sense,

But then it tricks you into going right back into the comfort zone that you're in.

Or maybe the discomfort zone that you're in.

But if you want to step forward,

To become the biggest version of yourself.

What you have to learn to do is how to step forward.

Scared.

So today,

I'm going to guide you through a special teaching all about fear.

I'm going to teach you some hidden forms of fear that you might not know about.

And I have a couple songs for you.

A super special guided meditation practice that's going to help you learn how to do it scared.

So this is not just a concept.

And we'll close out with some info on our upcoming fear masterclass so you can take this further.

All right,

So there are eight forms of fear that I teach in my masterclasses,

And I want to cover three of the most common ones with you today.

Number one,

Distraction.

Now,

Distraction shows up as fear when you finally say you're going to do the thing that you said you're going to do to move your life forward.

And then all of a sudden,

You decide you need to meal prep.

Or you decide you need to clean up your whole house.

Or you say,

Oh my gosh,

You know what?

I focus so much better when my place is clean.

So let me clean up everything and clean my desk and light the Palo Santo and light the candle to make sure everything is perfect because I can focus better when my place is clean.

No,

Because meanwhile,

You got everything else everyone else needed from you done.

The whole week with a dirty house.

But now that you have time to do the thing that's important for you.

Now you gotta clean.

Or call your friend,

Or scroll through TikTok,

Or do whatever thing you got to do real quick.

To make sure that you don't accomplish your dreams.

This is fear,

But it's masking itself.

As distraction.

And these distractions feel totally reasonable in the moment,

But it's really fear coming in disguised.

So think if you've dealt with this.

The second form of fear is one that a lot of us talk about.

Perfectionism.

And we even wear this word perfectionism like a little badge of honor,

Like I'm a perfectionist.

But this is fear in disguise.

Now,

I'm not saying that you go out there and put out like a bunch of half-baked ideas into the world.

There is a difference,

And I want you to understand this difference,

Between wanting to put out something of quality and being a perfectionist.

So you know perfectionism has hit you and editing and editing and you can feel it in your body and you've completely sucked the joy out of what you're doing,

Like you're in a little tunnel.

That's when you know perfectionism is hit.

And when that happens and you start to get something close to the finish line,

But you never put it out.

You know that something deeper is at play.

It's perfectionism,

But it's fear.

Now let's go to number three.

The third form of fear.

Is indecisiveness.

Now listen to me very carefully here.

There is a difference between choosing not to decide yet and being indecisive.

Choosing not to decide just says,

You know what,

I'm going to pause on this until Thursday and then you just chill out about it.

Indecisiveness is the opposite.

It's when we think about it all day,

All night.

It keeps us up in our sleep.

You pull every damn tarot card,

An angel card known to man,

Checking your astrology,

Checking everything.

And at the end of the day,

Just working yourself up and either doing nothing about it or worse,

Making the wrong choice because you're so worked up that you can't even see which way to go.

This is fear.

And what happens when we do this is we stop ourselves from stepping forward into our dreams.

And so in a moment,

We're going to do a special practice together that's going to help you break right through this.

But first,

What I want you to do is just think of something right now.

Think of something that you're facing in your life today where you're dealing with either distraction,

Perfectionism,

Or indecisiveness,

Or maybe a combination of them.

And then have that thing in your mind.

And then we're going to use this next song.

As a prayer,

As an intention to break through that thing so that it can leave and you can step forward toward your power.

This is why.

I Don't wanna be here.

Anymore Anymore Bye.

Don't know what I'm feeling Anymore.

Anymore Why?

Oh why?

Oh why?

Why?

Everything you've ever dreamed done.

Is right there available to you.

All we have to do Is stop holding ourselves back with all of this fear.

To step into what we know we need to do.

And look fear right in the eyes.

And ask it the real question.

Which is why.

.

.

Oh,

I Oh why?

Bye.

Let's dive into our practice together.

One that will help you recognize your fears.

And alert you to any hidden fears that you may not even realize are lurking underneath the surface and stopping you from reaching your dreams.

So I want you to start by thinking of something in your life.

Where you are dealing with either destruction Perfectionism.

Or indecisiveness or some combination of them.

So just pick one situation in your life for now.

I know there can be many,

But just pick one.

And once you have that one,

Get cozy in your body.

Take a deep breath in with me.

And a deep breath out.

And close your eyes if you're comfortable doing so.

And now we're going to do a three-count breath.

Start by just taking a full breath in with me.

Hold it.

Exhale it all out.

And inhale with me for one.

3.

Hold for one.

Three.

Exhale.

One.

Again,

Inhale deeply,

One.

Three,

Hold the breath for one.

Three,

Exhale,

One.

Last time.

Inhale deeper this time.

One.

Hold the breath a little longer.

Sip in a little bit more air to expand beyond your comfort zone.

Sip in even a little bit more.

And then with the sound open the mouth let it out.

And now,

Just rest in this silent internal space.

And bring one hand over the center of your chest and the other hand on top.

And bring the situation that you're dealing with.

Back into your mind the situation where fear is plaguing you.

Bring that back into your mind.

And now with your hands over your heart.

Ask yourself this question.

What?

Am I really?

Afraid of.

What am I really?

Afraid of.

And to see what comes to mind,

Trust it.

And now.

.

.

You're going to ask yourself the question a second time.

But this time.

.

.

You're not allowed to answer it the same way so we can dig a little deeper.

Here's the question again.

What?

Am I really?

Afraid of.

What am I really.

.

.

Afraid of.

And see what comes to you to dig a little deeper.

Now finally,

Think of one action step.

That you could take.

To move you in the direction of breaking through this fear.

What is one action?

That you could take.

To move you in the direction of your growth and transformation.

Think of a clear action.

And now with your hands over your heart,

Repeat these words.

Out loud.

Or with a whisper with me.

I may be scared.

But I'm doing it anyways.

I may be scared.

But I'm doing it.

Anyways.

I may be scared.

But I'm doing it.

Anyways.

And when you're ready,

Take a deep breath in with me.

And a deep breath out.

And take your time.

Open your eyes.

This is the trick.

Realizing that you're scared and catching fear in its tracks so it can't hide from you.

And then being able to tell yourself.

Yeah.

I may be scared.

But I'm doing it.

Anyways.

I want you to know.

That you can set yourself free from fear.

And I hope today helped you do that.

And if you learn the tools,

You can do this yourself.

And so we're going to use this next song as a prayer and intention for you to set yourself free once and for all.

Can you taste my dust?

Can you watch me bleed?

Can you feel my love as we're breaking free?

I've been in my cage.

I've been locked away.

Heaven got the key that's unlocking me.

Break bread with the devil gonna set me free.

Yeah,

I ride the storm and I brought the rain.

We go la la la.

As we rise again.

And I'm open sail.

I can ride the waves.

Heaven carry me to the open sea.

Turn bodies to the ashes till they set me free.

And I want what I want when I want when I need it And I put all my change in a sacred flame.

And I'll roll with the wind till you hear me say.

This fire gonna send me.

This fire gonna set us free.

This fire gonna set me free This fire gonna send me This fire gonna send me This fire gonna set me,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh.

This fire gonna send me Anything you've ever been through.

Any fear that you've ever had come up in your life.

It doesn't have to hold you back anymore.

You can step past it.

You can move forward.

You can be scared and do it anyway.

Because we've asked the big question.

Why?

We've asked it.

We know!

Oh,

I Why?

And we're doing it anyway.

Go ahead and place your hands over the center of your chest with me.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath in.

And a deep breath out.

And ask yourself,

What is one golden nugget or key takeaway?

That you're taking from this inspiration session today.

When you have it,

Repeat it in your mind.

And then open your eyes and jot it down for yourself.

This is really important to do.

To take these tools away with us.

And my golden nugget is this.

That I was so scared.

That if I finally got in shape again,

I was going to get distracted and ruin everything that I had worked so hard for.

That fear wasn't real.

Yet it kept me in this box that I was unhappy in and couldn't get out of for six years.

And I am so grateful to say that I did decide to work with that trainer.

And now at 37.

I'm in the best shape of my life.

And my business is still thriving.

Nothing got ruined.

And this proves that that fear was wrong.

And I want you to know that your fear is not your intuition.

It's just trying to keep you safe and in this little box.

And so this is why.

When we say,

I may be scared.

But I'm doing it anyways.

We mean it.

Because this is the pathway to stepping out of your comfort zone.

And into the life.

That you truly desire.