Toxic Habits

Welcome to Day 2 of the Stop Holding Yourself Back Challenge with Justin Michael Williams. In today's session, we will investigate our Toxic Habits. What makes a toxic habit? Anything in your life you are doing regularly that's keeping you from becoming the person you want to be become. Join Justin for this quest and you will be surprised with what you uncover: not every habit is obviously toxic from first glance.

Transcript

Welcome to day two of our practice together.

This is Justin Michael Williams and I am so excited for today's lesson.

This tends to be people's favorite practice because in a challenge where we are talking about stopping holding ourselves back,

There's no topic that's more important to speak about than what I call toxic habits.

And I want you to listen very closely because I'm going to talk about these habits a little differently than you might expect.

So I don't want to sit here and talk about habits that are obviously toxic,

Like things that you know that you're doing that are harmful.

I want to instead talk about habits that kind of sneak under the rug,

That end up controlling and sabotaging your life from the background without you even knowing it.

And everybody thinks they know what their toxic habit is until they dive deep into this practice that we'll do today.

And sometimes you'll be surprised with what you find.

So listen closely.

Let's define a toxic habit.

Now I know so many of you already have my book,

But I want to give you the exact definition that I define it as in my book.

And it's that a toxic habit is anything in your life that you are doing regularly that's keeping you from becoming the person that you say you want to become in your vision.

So it could be anything and it's things that are not obviously toxic.

And in this way,

Something could be toxic for you now and maybe not toxic later or toxic for one of your friends but not toxic for you.

And so we look deeply to see what this is.

And I want to give you a couple examples that I wrote about in my book.

So Jordan talked about social media being their toxic habit because it always makes them feel worse,

Especially because they get into a habit of comparing themselves to other people.

And Jordan also mentioned watching TV.

Now is watching TV toxic?

No,

Not necessarily.

There's lots of good TV out.

But Jordan has been saying that they want to learn how to play the guitar and complaining that they don't have time to play the guitar,

But they're watching 15 hours of TV a week.

So in this way,

Watching TV is the toxic habit.

Let me give you a few more examples that might surprise you.

David has been wanting a relationship in his life,

But he realized that porn and his addiction to it and his addiction to hookup apps and even drinking alcohol and making bad choices is keeping him from becoming someone who is ready to be in a loving,

Intimate,

Close relationship.

Amber.

Amber gave a good one that a lot of us will resonate with.

Amber said her toxic habit was always saying yes when she really wanted to say no because this makes her never have time for herself.

And somehow it seems like every time she has a moment for herself,

Somebody else pops into place.

And then finally,

Lisa had an interesting one.

Lisa said drinking coffee was her toxic habit.

Now,

Is coffee a toxic habit for everyone?

No,

But what Lisa realized is that she was using coffee as a crutch to always keep her seeming happy and energized even though she was starting to feel sad.

And this was keeping her from processing her real emotions and dealing with some challenges in her life.

And another one,

So this is,

I'll tell you,

My personal toxic habit is always staying up a little bit too late.

Staying up a little bit too late makes me tired in the morning.

I end up sometimes skipping my workouts.

I can't be fully present.

It feeds caffeine addictions.

And so staying up too late is my toxic habit.

So there are many toxic habits.

And what I want to reiterate here for you is staying up late,

Staying up late,

Drinking coffee,

Drinking alcohol,

Going on apps,

Going on social media,

Watching TV,

Whatever you do,

These things are not inherently toxic in themselves.

What's toxic about them?

Our relationship to.

That is what makes something toxic.

And so as we do this practice,

I need you to listen to me very carefully because there's a little trick that happens in your mind that will keep you from discovering your toxic habit.

When I ask you to explore your toxic habit,

I don't want you to tell me what you're not doing.

So some people will say,

My toxic habit is not working out or not eating healthy.

I don't want to know what you're not doing.

I want to know what you are doing.

Your toxic habit is something that you are doing regularly.

That's keeping you from reaching your goals and becoming who you say you want to become.

Let's explore together,

Shall we?

Go ahead and find a comfortable way to sit.

Soften your body 5% more.

Place one hand over the center of your chest and the other hand on top of that.

Go ahead and take a deep breath in and a deep breath out and close your eyes if you feel comfortable doing so.

And for today's practice,

We're going to start with a breathing practice that I call the 3-4-5 breath.

You inhale for three,

Hold for four,

And exhale for five.

That's 3-4-5.

We'll do it together.

Start by just taking one deep breath in and a deep breath out to align our breath.

And with me for three,

Inhale for one,

Two,

Three.

Hold for one,

Two,

Three,

Four.

Exhale five,

Four,

Three,

Two,

One.

Let's do it again.

Inhale one,

Two,

Three.

Hold for one,

Two,

Three,

Four.

Exhale five,

Four,

Three,

Two,

One.

Last time,

Inhale one,

Two,

Deeper,

Three.

Hold for one,

Two,

Three,

Four.

Exhale five,

Four,

Three,

Two,

And one.

And now just breathe normally.

And in yesterday's practice,

We called into our mind an area of our life that we wanted to deepen or take to the next level.

I want you to call that area of your life into your mind right now.

And if you had multiple areas,

Just pick one for now.

Pick the one that would have the biggest impact on your life if you changed it or deepened it.

Now we stand in the future.

And I want you to imagine a future version of yourself who has taken this area of your life all the way forward and all the way through,

Who is living in full integrity and in full alignment exactly how you've always dreamed of.

Imagine yourself,

Imagine yourself living the life of your dreams.

No matter what's coming to you in your vision right now,

I want you to just sense that you are stepping into a new version of yourself,

That you are stepping fully into your power.

What does that feel like?

What do you notice?

Take a moment and just scan around this vision,

Imagining this future version of yourself who has fully taken this area of life to the next level.

Scan around yourself and notice if you're indoor or outdoor in the vision today.

Notice if there's anybody there with you or if you're alone.

And if none of this is coming to you now,

That's fine.

Just see what does come,

Trusting what arises.

Notice what's happening in the vision.

Notice how you feel in the vision.

Notice any colors that you see.

Notice any colors you see or any sights that pop up or any sensations that come to your body.

Just notice it all,

No matter how subtle or how clear or large,

Notice,

Notice what's there.

And now as you look and sense this future version of you who is living the life of your dreams and taking this to the next level,

I'm gonna ask you a question and I want you to trust whatever arises in your mind's eye,

Because this is inner wisdom.

Here's your question.

What habits are you engaged in regularly that are keeping you from becoming this person that you see in your vision?

What habits are you engaged in regularly that are keeping you from becoming the person you're seeing in your vision?

Trust what comes up.

And if you have multiple habits coming to mind,

I want you to pick the one right now that's the easiest for you to release.

Doesn't have to be the biggest one,

But the easiest one for you to release.

And I'd like you to make a commitment right now that for the duration of the rest of this program,

That for five more days,

You will release this habit.

Now,

Here's a rule.

I want you to just pick one.

If you pick too many,

It becomes too challenging.

I want you to pick the one that you can win at for sure,

So that you can feel your power rising.

Place your hands over the center of your chest if you've moved them.

Take a deep breath in and a deep breath out and repeat these words with me.

I am ready.

I'm worthy.

I am powerful.

I deserve this life.

Repeat it like you mean it.

I am ready.

I am worthy.

I am powerful.

I deserve this life.

Last time from your heart.

I am ready.

I am worthy.

I am powerful.

I deserve this life.

You deserve this life.

Go ahead and take a deep breath in and a deep breath out.

And when you're ready,

I invite you to open your eyes.

So there you have it,

Your toxic habit.

Did you find anything interesting in there?

So I would love for you to really commit for the next five days to releasing just one of these habits.

You can do it.

You can do it.

You really can.

You really can and it just takes a little heart,

A little commitment,

And this community coming together.

So I want you now to go into the comments.

This is how we're going to hold each other accountable and type into the comments what habit you are committed to releasing.

And tomorrow in day three,

We'll explore power habits which is all about what you replace your toxic habit with.

But for now,

Just worry about releasing.

All right,

This is Justin Michael Williams signing out.

I'll see you in the comments and I can't wait for our next practice.

Bye for now.

Reviews

Such a wonderful teacher. Gets to me every time I listen to him!

I'm deleting 3 video games from phone. The remaining 3, I will not play or open apps for 5 days.

I don't need to proof myself to everyone that l am worthy

My toxic habit that I will release is subconsciously expecting reward for my kindnesses

My toxic habit is knowing the importance of setting boundaries, but not always applying what I am learning. Yung Pueblo says that “a strong need for boundaries will feel natural once your healing is underway.”
Apparently, this will be fragile at first as it will need “fortification and space to fully mature.” He goes on to say that a boundary is a form of protection that helps one stay aligned with self-metamorphosis (or with who I am becoming). It’s not just a way to reclaim my power, but is a “way to intentionally design my life.” I need to continue to take my healing very seriously and to be more selective about to whom I give my time.

The toxic habit I am committed to releasing is pretending "I am okay."

Justin had a calm voice and explains things in a simplistic yet articulate way. I enjoy what he had to say.

The feed suggestions, the topic, the teacher, exactly what I am here for. This app is a vital tool in moving me to live my best life.

I'm committed to stop watching TV until late. So I can get a good night's sleep.

Thank you Justin! I am going back through your challenges from the last year and redoing them, in anticipation of the next big month-long challenge beginning next week. I've missed meditating with your voice guiding me! You are a very engaging coach. I love your visualizations, your gentleness, your way of looking at things. I look forward to your segment of the upcoming challenge. Thank you thank you thank you! <3

This is so amazing! I am worth it! My toxic habit is definitely over eating and not chosising the right foods. I have always found food for a way of connection with people and happiness and it has gotten in my way to have the body and health I need.

Mine is definitely my sleep patterns. I rarely “go” to sleep, more so “fall” asleep. I never get enough sleep and usually pay for it it in the mornings. In my vision, I was a person who was successful partly because I arrived at work refreshed, focus, and ready to tackle challenges. I will focus this week on going to bed at a decent hour, getting 8 hours or close, and waking up refreshed!

Thank you 🙏
I see now that my passion for reading is keeping me front doing what I desire most: creating.
So I will read less and create first 🙏.

Hey Justin this is my second time listening as I needed to refresh. My toxic habit is not being able to say no. I’m exhausted.

My toxic habit is watching too much tv. Instead I will replace that with being more active. 💙🙏🏻

Fantastic. I think I was ready to learn about toxic habits. Thank you.
I'm releasing my need to watch Netflix and Hulu every night, even when there isn't a show I really want to watch.

I'm on chapter 2 of your book and this meditation ties into it perfectly. Thank you Justin!

Great! Very helpful and eye-opening!
Thanks Justin 🙏🏻🌹

make a space, fill a space…step by step, the practice takes shape. thanks justin 🌟

I want to stop the resistance and creative ways of procrastinating such as cooking or prepping nice tea, coffee, or desserts for others as a way to justify my procrastination. Rather I want to start on the activity I’m resisting and practice joy from focusing on a task 🙏🏻