From Chasing Happiness to Finding Peace

In this video,

I want to talk about the shift from chasing happiness to finding peace.

We live in a society that is obsessed with pleasure,

Obsessed with finding happiness outside,

With buying happiness,

With collecting happiness,

With finding happiness in relationships,

Substances,

Products.

There's a story that I like.

A man in Baghdad dreams of a treasure buried under a house in Cairo,

And he goes on a great adventure to find that house.

He gets to the house.

It looks like the house in his dream,

And he meets the owner,

And he tells the owner about his dream,

And the owner says,

It's really amazing because I dreamt of a treasure buried under a house in Baghdad.

He describes the house to the man,

And obviously,

It conforms to the house of that man.

The man comes back to his house in Baghdad and finds the treasure.

This story is an illustration of the process that we go through when we're on a spiritual path.

First,

We seek happiness outside.

We seek it in achievement and relationships and money,

And only to understand that these outside things only bring temporary relief.

The way is to come back to ourselves,

Come back to our own house and the treasure that is buried within.

I used to be a lawyer on Wall Street,

And I got there from being a kid growing up in Paris because I believed,

Thanks in large part to the Hollywood movies I was watching in the 80s,

That becoming successful,

To have money,

Was going to bring me happiness,

And of course,

It didn't,

But one of the important things I want to share is that even though I've been on the spiritual path for 15 years,

I still have these parts inside of me that are seeking happiness outside.

I have this part inside of me that I call the white rabbit,

Like the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland,

That is always afraid of not having enough.

It's afraid when there's a buffet that some of the good things are going to be lacking.

There's another part of me,

And I talk about parts because I've been working a lot with IFS,

And there's another video where I present IFS in more detail if you don't know IFS,

But I have another part that I call Beyonce,

Which is my part that always wants to be admired,

Validated,

Complimented,

And again,

It's that journey outward,

Trying to get from the outside my happiness.

But what we can discover,

And this is,

I think,

One of the greatest discoveries that I've made over the years,

Is that there is a joy inside of us that we can uncover,

That happiness is not about accumulating things,

But it's actually about removing the layers that disconnect us from the happiness that we are.

There's a teacher I have tremendous respect for,

Rupert Spira,

A non-dual teacher,

And he says,

Suffering is what we do,

And happiness is who we are,

Because indeed,

Who we are,

The one being,

What we can also call the source,

Awareness,

Divine consciousness,

Is inherently peaceful,

Inherently joyful and happy.

But this joy of being that we are is often obscured by desires,

By frustrations,

By thoughts and emotions that are a result of the conditioning that we receive from society.

And what we can learn to do is to come back to the joy of being.

And I think this distinction between pleasure and being,

And the joy of being,

Between pleasure and joy,

Is really the key distinction.

Conceptually,

Pleasure can be defined as the happiness that is linked to a circumstance.

So happiness from eating a cake,

From having sex,

From drinking a glass of wine,

And joy is the happiness for no reason.

So you look at a young child,

You see them running around,

And you can see that they have access to that joy for no reason.

And we have just added layers on top of that,

That now prevent us from connecting to that joy,

But that joy is who we are.

We are that inner child that is constantly running around and playing and just enjoying everything around them.

Something that we can notice to understand that pleasure does not bring happiness is the fact that we can have some of the things that we think are the greatest pleasures in life and not be happy in the moment.

It's very possible for us to enjoy,

To have a delicious meal in front of us,

But because there's a story in our mind that is telling us that something is missing,

We're not going to be happy with the meal.

Similarly,

I found myself being on vacation in amazing places and being in a bad place in my mind.

And so the pleasure was there,

But the happiness wasn't.

So pleasure is just,

There's nothing wrong with pleasure.

It's a good thing to know how to appreciate pleasurable circumstances.

But the idea is to not attach to pleasure,

To understand that even when pleasure is not there,

Even when there is pain in the moment,

We are able to connect to the simple joy of being.

And the simple joy of being is the being that we are,

It's our awareness.

Non-duality tells us that in any moment we could just come back to this joy that's inside.

Remembering that we're the blue sky of happiness,

That the thoughts and emotions that cloud the sky are temporary.

But if we take a step back and dis-identify from the clouds.

If we are able to come back to our nature and we can do this multiple ways.

One of the ways that I find very powerful is using the mantras,

I am or I am aware.

Because even though our thoughts,

Our emotions,

Our relationships,

Our attachments are all constantly changing.

The one thing in the human experience that is never changing is the fact of being,

Which is also our awareness.

And if we're able to come back to that,

We can feel the joy that is inherent in this being that we are.

So if you want,

Perhaps you can try to close your eyes and maybe start by breathing slowly through your nose.

If you're able to breathe through your nose today,

You can focus on your breathing,

Maybe the rise and fall of the chest and abdomen,

Or the temperature of the air that comes in and out of your nostrils,

The colder air coming in,

The warmer air coming out.

If there are thoughts and emotions that come,

It's OK,

Don't try to make them not be there.

Embrace the experience exactly how it is.

And try to see these thoughts and emotions as clouds and to see them from who you are from the blue sky of your being,

Of the awareness that we are.

Now I'm going to ask you two questions and I'm going to suggest that you answer these questions silently inside.

First question,

Do you exist?

Second question,

Are you aware?

I do not know anything about your life circumstances,

But I know that you and I exist and are aware and what I'd like you to do right now is to connect to the place where you are and the place inside of you,

Which actually isn't the place,

Which is who you truly are,

That allowed you to answer yes to both of these questions without having to think about it.

And this being,

This awareness,

Is the place of peace.

It's the place of the causeless joy.

It's our nature to which we can always come back,

Even in moments of pain.

If your eyes are closed and you're connecting to being,

Feel free to remain there as long as you're able,

As long as you want to.

And I'll see you soon for another video.