Non-Reactivity and Composure.
Each of us has the ability to inhabit a state of self-respect and composure,
What we could call the inherent dignity of human beings.
This is a quality of being unruffled,
Maintaining center,
Maintaining connection to who we want to be,
Even in the midst of adverse inner or outer forces.
We could call this non-reactivity.
Non-reactivity is when we experience whatever we are experiencing with spaciousness.
There is a gap between the event and the response,
A gap between stimulus and response.
With non-reactivity,
There is a quality of things are as they are.
And this is a form of self-love.
We live in the present in our own skin with acceptance.
Composure,
For example,
Somebody cuts us off in traffic and we feel a surge of fear,
Accompanied by adrenaline,
Perhaps followed by a burst of anger.
If we can just be with that fear and anger,
Experiencing it as it is,
We feel it,
And the thoughts and emotions move through our bodies and minds fairly quickly.
In the same incident,
We might react to the fear and anger with thoughts of revenge or aggression,
Thereby perpetuating the fear and anger cycle and perhaps even put ourselves or others in danger.
We can practice and learn to interrupt the momentum of reactivity by not rehashing events we experience and thereby renewing the reactive emotions.
We can become skilled at letting the past be the past.
I'd like to invite you now into a practice of non-reactivity.
Beginning by connecting to your potential for this composure,
Imagine yourself in a situation that is potentially triggering,
Perhaps connecting to an emotionally charged memory or just imagining yourself in a difficult experience,
Connecting to an emotionally charged memory or seeing yourself in a difficult or trying experience,
And now imagining yourself remaining calm as this event is unfolding in your mind's eye.
See yourself engaged with whatever is happening with your body relaxed and your mind centered and calm.
You have the potential to embody this composure,
Feel this potential for composure and difficult situations.
And maybe you want to do the practice again.
Connecting to an emotionally charged memory,
Something you went through that was triggering,
Yet imagine yourself now remaining calm even with composure as this event is unfolding.
See yourself present in the situation with your body remaining relaxed and your mind remaining centered.
Now tuning into the body here and now,
Tuning into the feelings of the body,
Tuning into the direct textures,
The living textures of your body,
Noticing the various qualities of sensation and feeling,
Tuning into the immediate happening of the body here and now.
And while contacting the feelings of the body,
Noticing the direct feelings and sensations are different than the mind's labeling or naming of the feelings or sensations.
For example,
Noticing the difference between direct sensations of coolness or warmth and the labels in the mind,
Coolness or warmth.
So tuning into whatever sensations are happening,
Directly noticing they are felt without the need for any thoughts about them.
Noticing these sensations are what they are apart from any thoughts about them.
Resting in naked sensation,
Resting attention in bare experiencing.
And now inviting a quality of deep acceptance,
Allowing whatever feelings or sensations that are there to be there.
Letting go of the labeling,
The descriptions,
The names in the mind about these experiences and being intimate with these sensations,
Relaxing into deep allowing,
Deeply allowing these textures of your life.
Opening,
Opening to non-resistance with the sensations of the body.
And as you relax into deep allowing of these sensations that simply are what they are,
Noticing,
Feeling any changes,
Noticing any changes as you shift into this stance of non-resistance.
Do the sensations themselves change as you're with them in simple acceptance?
Notice any changes in your mind as you're with the experience of the body with no resistance.
This practice is the foundation of non-reactive composure.
We can practice this anytime with what is happening inside or outside.
It is the same practice with inner or outer events.
Life provides continual opportunities to practice this.
Waiting in line when you would rather be somewhere else,
Being in traffic,
When the kids are screaming and the partner is criticizing.
Life provides continual opportunities to practice this.
And when we do so in these situations,
The situations that had the potential to be decentering and to shift us into a person we don't want to be,
These very situations are transformed into the path,
Are transformed into opportunities to be the best person we can be.
We live in a chaotic world already.
We don't have to add to that.
Being human is universally a challenge,
Though we can manage our challenges with a measure of ease.
Embodying our innate dignity is a gift to ourselves and others.
Everybody wants to move through life with less friction,
So if we can be even a small example of that,
It is a gift.
When we experience whatever we are experiencing with a gap between stimulus and response,
Sensation and action,
We are in the place of choice,
Of freedom of how we respond to life.
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