It is really hard unlearning subconscious behaviors and habits.
You've been there,
Right?
You're going about your day and then something triggers you and you react without even thinking.
Throughout your day it's estimated that roughly 95% of what you do is from your subconscious,
Meaning you aren't actively thinking about what you're doing.
For example,
When you're walking you aren't thinking to yourself about how to walk or which legs to move,
You just walk.
This can be really helpful.
Imagine if you had to think about every single thing you did every day.
However,
When you're trying to unlearn subconscious behavior this can be tough to do.
Something I'm trying to unlearn is being too rigid when it comes to completing a task and using my voice to communicate my feelings.
For example,
I was making breakfast and asked my wife for help.
I had an exact idea of how everything needed to be cooked so it came out perfect.
When she was not meeting my exact expectations I got frustrated,
Didn't say anything and took over cooking myself.
I could feel the energy shift in the room and afterwards thought to myself,
Why did I just do that?
Why did I have to do it my exact way and why couldn't I say anything about it?
As I thought about it I realized that when I'm telling myself stories about how exactly something should be done,
If it doesn't go that way I get frustrated.
When I get frustrated I shut down,
Don't say anything and go within.
This is something I've been trying to unlearn.
What I'm trying to learn is to be more open and flexible in how to communicate how I'm feeling.
What I realized though is when stress levels are higher it's even easier to drop back into your normal trained subconscious behavior.
The space between a stimulus and a response is almost non-existent.
For me it's very easy to snap.
So how do you unlearn what's in your subconscious?
I find it helpful to think about what happened and how I felt.
Then I reflect on where it came from.
Lastly I get a clear picture about how in the future I want to act and feel when this comes up again and live in that space.
It's really tough to unlearn this behavior and you need to remember to go easy on yourself,
Love yourself and embrace the journey.
Change is hard,
Growth is hard but being stuck where you don't want to be is even harder.
Come back to this track whenever you need to remind yourself of this truth.
