Are there days when you feel like Sisyphus,
Forever pushing the boulder up the mountain,
When it feels easier to stay low because it takes too much energy to stand tall,
Only to get knocked down again?
I know,
My dear,
I know.
I'm intimately familiar with the part that wants to give up,
Feels defeated,
Resigned,
Heavy,
Scared,
Wants to hide in distractions or staying small.
The part that's so tired of the fight,
The effort.
And what if the boulder could carry you up the mountain?
I invite you to sit with the resigned part.
Rest here.
What if there was nothing to overcome or achieve?
Take nice,
Slow breaths.
With each one,
Feel yourself deepening into your body,
Into the here and now.
When you have rested for a while,
Still holding the hand of the resigned part,
I invite you to turn and face the mountain.
So much of it isn't actually yours or doesn't exist in the present moment.
Each rock is an old wound,
A belief,
A coping strategy,
Old stories,
That of your ancestors,
Your younger selves,
Society's expectations,
Meant to make sense of things,
To overcome powerlessness.
Life is hard,
A struggle.
It's safer to stay low,
Fly under the radar,
Not want too much.
Feel into what those words might be for you.
And as you do,
You might feel the solidity of these words.
Their realness start to dissolve.
For the more closely you look,
The more you will see that the mountain is a hologram,
A projection of something that's so embedded in your nervous system,
It still feels real.
But it isn't.
It's not the reality of your being or why you're here.
You're not here to suffer or hide,
But rather to heal the wounds that weigh you down so your highest self can shine through.
As you begin to feel the truth of this,
Feel a gentle sun warm the top of your head,
Bathing you and the mountain with the light of loving awareness.
Crisp and clear like the light just before dusk,
That liminal space between states where everything comes into better focus.
Everything is just a little brighter,
Clearer.
Allow the hurt,
Scared,
Wounded parts to bask in the warmth,
The care,
To feel,
See,
Acknowledge,
Until something starts to shift,
To soften,
And suddenly gentle raindrops start to fall on you and the mountain.
Gain power and speed,
Cleansing,
Rejuvenating drops,
Washing away that which no longer serves.
Isn't current.
Isn't yours to carry and hold.
Feel your body lightened.
Feel the ground beneath you become more solid as the mountain turns to earth below.
You are supported,
Guided.
The rain stops as suddenly as it began and the soothing sun peeks back from behind the cloud,
Trailing a rainbow of possibility in its path.
The hologram of the mountain has given way to a clear,
Open field.
I invite you to turn around.
The boulder that you were pushing up the mountain is now your trusted steed.
Steady,
Reliable.
Ask if it has any message or transmission for you.
It might be a new belief to replace the old ones with loving words,
Or it might be something non-verbal like an energy,
A color,
A sensation,
Or a sound.
Lean back and prepare yourself to enjoy the ride.
