Conscious Aging II: Grieving Physical Diminishment

In this short presentation, we reflect upon the sense of grief we may feel at the diminishment of our physical abilities. By naming and assessing the experience, we can better position ourselves to welcome the changes to our bodies time brings. This acceptance, in turn, can bring greater spaciousness to our lives in which we can live gracefully and thankfully. Music by Harumachi Music; Image by Taoyuetong; both from Pixabay.

Transcript

Each day, I awaken with a sense of gratitude that I made it through the night and have the chance for a fresh start. I rise and move through the house, Get the coffee started. Then I stretch and I'm reminded of the aging of this body I'm in, The crunch in the shoulders as I rotate my arms, The pain in the elbows, The twinge as I climb a stair. Later, At the gym, I'll reduce the weights so that I can do more reps and I observe the young person in the pull-up bar with a weight hanging from a belt at his waist with some awe. We were once as quick as pox is on the hill, Writes Wallace Stevens. As we age, We slowly shed and we leave behind certain physical abilities. I'll not mountain bike that park and whistler anymore. I'm going to stay on the ground. My days of shooting under par on the golf course are very likely behind me. Even closer to home, In the bathroom remodel, I'll make sure a grab bar is installed in the shower. Of course, It's easy to grieve the loss of physical abilities, To see only loss, To think only of diminishment. If it's true that there are only two types of pain, Physical and mental, We can do something about the mental. Is it really true that the diminishment of physical activity is only a loss? I don't think so. At the gym, Working with reps with lighter weights, The knowledge that I'm doing so frees me from that plane of existence in which the gym means pumping iron and activity tinged with a strain of vanity. That worry over self-image that so marked my youth functions within an invisible network, A kind of language people move in. From here on the outside of that sphere of meaning, I can soften my mind and my heart and be with my own self as it is, Here and now. As our physical ability diminishes, We may have to make accommodations, True, But this also frees us to experience a new way of being. Ah, We might say, Here is what my body allows now. With gentleness, We can care for ourselves as we might a good friend, With love and compassion and a sense of humor. It's a kind of waking up into a new world. So today, As I move through the day, Do the work around the house, Exercise, Walk, I plan to live inside this body as it is given to me this day, As it has been returned to me this morning upon my waking. And I'll love the experience for what it allows me to know of being here now. I wish for you the same and much happiness.

Reviews

I love these thoughts and know they are true! Every day though, I mourne the loss of my mobility while others expect the same output as in previous years. I mask my pain and discomfort and try to achieve the same goals......which further causes mental and physical pain! I berate myself. I listen to your words and recognise that I need to be more self compassionate. To accept and be grateful for all that I can do. I will work on that and play your recording frequently! Thank you so much for shining a light on an area of growth for me. 🙏