Aging Wisely: Loving Self

As we age and move into the latter phases of adulthood, we may find that our old vision of happiness, which has guided us all these years, no longer satisfies. We may find, in times of quiet, that what we seek now is a happiness in time and space, in being in the world, and less in things nor in doing. We might from this say that our vision of happiness is our own realized self as an expression of unconditional love, an expression of our authentic selves, in our activities and ways of being. We'll consider this experience in this short talk and reflection.

Music by Piano Calm Music “Relaxing Time”; image by Miroslaw i Joanna Bucholc; both from Pixabay.

Transcript

As we age,

And move into the latter phases of adulthood,

We find that the old vision of happiness,

Which has guided us all these years,

No longer satisfies.

It's likely that we no longer feel compelled to further our career,

To make more money,

To buy a newer car.

We may still wish to give back to and participate in our profession,

Perhaps even make some money along the way.

We may buy that new car with the greater financial freedom we may now have.

But these outward markers of success,

Of happiness,

Are no longer the driving force in our lives.

What we find when we are quiet is that what we seek is happiness in time and space,

Not in things nor in doing.

Even travel is less doing than being.

Being in new spaces and in new ways.

Giving back to our profession becomes an act of kindness and generosity,

Not work that leads to the next thing.

What we may find then is that this time and space we envision is not empty,

But is a way of being filled with a loving presence.

Many of us,

In the latter phases of life,

Turn to volunteering,

And the research on aging shows well the great benefits of volunteering to the psychological and physiological well-being of the one who volunteers.

But even beyond the physical and mental benefits,

Volunteering seems to serve the calling of a vision,

A vision of ourselves as a loving presence in the world.

Volunteering then is an act of love.

We can see from this that at the heart of the vision of many older adults is a drive to realize in the world an unconditional love.

This might be expressed as caring for an aging parent,

An ill friend,

Or her grandchild,

Or any impulse to help others,

To ease suffering.

We might from this say that our vision of happiness is our own realized self as an expression of unconditional love.

In moments of quiet reflection,

We may well experience a felt sense of truthfulness of this impulse.

Our most authentic self,

We may feel,

Is a loving self that finds expression as acts of love in a troubled world.

We cannot rush this.

If we act quickly out of fear of the unknown or out of distress from a habitual belief that if we do not produce we are not worthy,

We will falter.

Our acts will be in service of the ego and not be authentic.

They will not bring true satisfaction,

True happiness,

Because they will not be expressions of our true selves.

Let us take a few moments now to reflect upon this vision of happiness with that its heart is a sense of the fully realized self as an expression of unconditional love.

How might this idea resonate here in our journey into the latter phases of adulthood?

What of this feels true in the body?

What images or feelings arise?

Let us reflect for a few moments.

Thank you friends.

I hope this reflection and brief meditation has been pleasant and helpful.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Be well.