As we age and move into the latter phases of adulthood,
We will undoubtedly witness the changes to our physical self directly before our eyes.
We will see the change of hair color and thickness,
The change in skin tone and tautness,
The lessening of muscle mass,
The increase in general if intermittent achiness.
It is not uncommon for many of us to look into a mirror or to observe a photograph of ourselves and think,
That's not me.
And so too,
Many of us may see rising before us in these images the vision of an aged parent that we seem gradually and perhaps mortifyingly to be coming to embody.
And with this,
Naturally,
Can arise a deep if subtle fear.
Our fear of aging is,
Of course,
A fear of an inexorable diminishment leading to death,
Which is also a fear of nothingness.
Coupled with this is a kind of grieving we might experience at the loss of our younger selves,
The vigorous and healthy one whom we no doubt loved embodying.
Among the five Buddhist remembrances is,
I am of the nature to grow old and fall ill.
Of the nature.
Thus the phenomenon of our aging body is inevitable.
It is built into the bargain of being born.
How we respond to this change,
However,
Is within our power to choose.
We have three choices.
We may rage against the diminishment and seek ways to reverse or mask the physical signs of aging.
We can use special makeup and hair coloring,
Hit the gym with a grim determination and doggedness,
And even seek plastic surgery.
We may,
On the other hand,
Succumb to a sense of bewilderment and helplessness.
We may come to believe that no amount of effort can stem the tide,
So why try?
We might even hasten the decline by adopting unhealthy habits,
Giving in to indulgences.
But a better response would be to bear witness to the signs of physical aging and make peace with this part of the arc of our lives.
Inevitable,
Yes,
But no more so than any other part of our lives,
From birth through adolescence and into adulthood.
With gentleness we might say,
Ah,
This is what is now,
Here,
In the present moment.
If we adopt this response,
An expression of loving-kindness for what is,
We might then be more compelled to care for our bodies with the love and gentleness we deserve.
We might explore new exercise routines suited for us,
We might clean up our diets and eat more healthfully,
We might drink less alcohol,
We might take steps to get better sleep.
We do this not with the grim determination of the one who wishes to turn back the clock,
But with a love we would extend to a loved one or child whose life lies before them.
With this approach,
A new gentleness for our aging body may arise,
A new facet of acceptance.
We would practice healthful habits with love for ourselves now and also for our future selves five years or twenty years down the road.
What kind of physical and emotional condition might we wish our future selves to enjoy?
How might we practice in the here and now to bring that person into being,
The one with strength,
Stability,
Agility,
Balance,
And emotional health who is 70,
80,
90,
Or beyond?
Training with love for our future selves,
We'll find,
Is at the same time a practice of love for the person we are now.
Let us take a few moments to reflect on this question of how we respond to our body's changes.
Can we,
With loving kindness,
Accept the natural aging we are experiencing?
Can we be aware of the fear that physical aging may evoke and choose to respond with compassion?
Can we,
With care,
Adopt habits,
Both of mind and body,
To care for our physical and emotional selves so they might be in the condition we would wish for our future self?
Let's take a few moments to reflect.
Thank you,
Friends.
I hope this reflection and brief meditation has been pleasant and helpful.
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Be well.
