I Don't Know

When anxiety has us grasping for answers, sometimes the most freeing thing is to admit we don't know. This Zen-informed practice grounds you in the body, then invites you to meet your worries with three small words: I don't know. Not as defeat, but as relief. A reminder that you can love yourself, others, and the world without having to figure it all out.

Recorded live with the Healthy Minds Program.

Transcript

So we have to distinguish between holding our anxiety in a healthy way versus holding it in an unhealthy way it's kind of like pain where Pain seems like a bad thing But if you look at the people who for whatever reason don't experience pain that's sort of a unique condition If they're basically unable to function in the world because they keep hurting themselves Damaging their body because they don't get that warning signal and the same is true of anxiety if you felt no anxiety that would mean you have no detection of threat. And that's something that we actually need now. The level to which we need it is something that can be discussed. And if you look into the science of anxiety, You find a very interesting conversation. And that's going to lead us to the practice that we're going to try today. So on one hand, You have scientists studying the physiological mechanisms of anxiety, Which is sort of the nervous system's response to a perceived threat. And those who suffer from heightened anxiety are those who might overestimate threats or react more aggressively to threats based on on the actual size of that threat. In other words, They overreact. Physiologically to threat. But you also will read some scientists and philosophers who point out that This is a kind of deterministic biological and physiological interpretation of this word anxiety, Which actually also refers to a subjective experience that we have. We feel anxious. And that we would be missing something if we didn't address that subjective experience of anxiety. And so whether you're feeling anxious right now or not, We're going to go into a practice that I learned in the Zen tradition, Which has been very instrumental for me to help deal with both the short term anxieties in my life, Little perceived threats in daily life, Threats to my ego, Threats to my livelihood, Threats to my health and well-being. But also it has really helped me in the long term with the overreaching anxieties, The long term questionings and uncertainty. And existential threats that face us. So we're going to go into that practice now. So we're going to do it for 10 minutes. Find yourself a comfortable position wherever you naturally tend to do this practice. If you're new to these practices, Feel free to just listen and relax and get a sense of what this is about. There's no need to follow everything so directly if you're just dipping your toes in the water. And if you're very well versed in these kinds of practices, Feel free to share this space of community and do whatever practice you have momentum with. And so with that, Let's find a position that you feel comfortable and safe in, Something that feels upright yet relaxed. And often we think of upright as an effortful position, But in fact, What we want to do is let our skeleton hold us up. So sometimes it can help to kind of move your body around and try to find, Very delicately, Find that sweet spot where it feels like you don't have to use your muscles to hold yourself up. In fact, Your spinal cord is stacked and it feels like very subtle effort is required to keep you upright. And if you want to take a little, Since we're doing a Zen-informed practice, If you want to take a little bit of the Zen mentality and posture, I'd encourage you to sort of open the back of your neck a little bit, Almost like you're holding an orange under your chin. A little bit, So there's like a bit of a very subtle tension where you're tilting the head forward and really opening the back of the spine. And then relax into that position, Not holding too much tension. And if you'd like to close your eyes, You're more than welcome to do so. If you prefer to keep your eyes open, I recommend choosing a place to gaze. And let's take a minute to just settle in before we dive into any practice. Just letting your newfound body position. Slowly seep into your state of mind. No need to bring any effort to anything yet. Now when you're ready, Gently placing your awareness on any sensations you might notice in your body. If you want to just notice what's most prevalent for you, What's most clear, Stay with that. It could be your breathing or your heart. The feeling of gravity and pressure on your chair or cushion. Or if you want to do a gentle scan, Starting from your feet, Moving up your legs into your back and your belly and your chest, Shoulders, Arms. Letting go of your jaw. Noticing the face. Just grounding yourself in whatever it feels like to be in a body right now. No need to judge anything as good or bad. Just noticing what's here. And if you've been a human being for a while, Which I trust most of you have, It's very likely that other distractions will arise, Thoughts, Emotions, Sounds. There's no need to resist those. Those are just like waves in the ocean, And your body is the anchor. So the anchor doesn't hold the ship perfectly rigid on the surface of the water. It lets the waves push it around a little bit. It allows some of those thoughts, Some of those emotions to float by. Anchor kind of keeps it in the same area over time. So anchoring yourself in whatever you're experiencing in the body for a few more moments here. And if you're experiencing anxiety or negative emotions of any kind, Stress, Anger, Frustration, Confusion. . . See if you can identify where you're holding that state in the body. Instead of trying to think your way out of the emotion. Just see if you can release that part of your body a little bit. So for example, I hold a lot of my attention in my shoulders. So I'm just going to see if I can release my shoulders a little bit. Just a little bit. And one of the most fundamental patterns of the human mind is compensating with uncertainty. Bye. Conceptualizing plans, Strategies, And potential solutions. We're constantly dealing with the discomfort, The inevitable discomfort that we face in life by trying to figure out the answer, The solution. What we can do. To fix things. And there's certainly a place for that and an importance for that. But in this practice, Whatever you might be holding I'm going to encourage you for the next five minutes or so. Just admit that you don't know. You don't know really what the solution should be. You don't know how to fix these problems, Whether they're personal problems or global problems, Whatever's coming to mind. It's okay to not know. There's so much we don't know and that's okay. So see how it feels in the body. To orient yourself towards the tension you're holding and the challenges you're facing, The anxieties, The stresses, The negative thinking, With the frame of, I don't know. I don't know why I feel this way. I don't know why the world is a certain way. I don't know why people are a certain way. I don't know how to solve this problem. I don't know how to fix it. I don't even really understand what the problem is fully. I don't know. It's okay not to know. For these few minutes. That's okay. See if you can bring a bit of love, A bit of a smile to it. In some ways, What we're doing here is we're accepting, We're embracing, Almost even celebrating our human frailty and vulnerability. To just say, You know, We spend all of our time trying so hard. We need to carve a little bit of room to admit, You know, Just one person. These are big situations we're facing and don't have all the answers, And that's okay. And you can love yourself, Love others, And love the world anyway. If it helps, You can even say those three powerful words to yourself. On every breath or every few seconds. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And for this last minute. See if you can bring a situation that you're facing or an anxiety that you're feeling to mind and be gentle. Don't choose the hardest thing. Especially if you're new to these practices, But something that feels about the right level that you can bring in. Maybe it's something that already came up. In this practice so far naturally. And take this last minute to just reflect on. How you might acknowledge uncertainty and admit that you don't know in that situation going forward, And how that might help loosen your grip. And help you hold the emotions associated with that situation and the actions you might take in a healthier way. And again, Bringing that love in, That self-acceptance. And compassion. I don't know. Okay, Great work everybody. Take your time transitioning out. You can open your eyes if they were closed. You can give yourself a little stretch.