It Is What It Is

When we're overloaded with negativity, it's tempting to just push it away. But there's another option, which is to lean in with curiosity. This short five-minute practice meets you where you are. We'll open awareness and search the canvas for any tension or resistance that's here. Not to fix it, but to see it for what it is. Recorded live with the Healthy Minds Program.

Transcript

So one of the ways I've heard this framed that I think has been the most useful for me personally in my own life, In my own practice, Is that there's two real approaches to dealing with a challenging situation. We can lean into it, Or we can pull away from it. And I find that when I'm most fluent and able to deal with challenges and negativity is when I'm able to balance those two. So if I'm always pulling away and distracting myself from the challenges of my life, You know, Watching TV shows and playing on my phone or playing video games or just, You know, Having a beer or whatever it might be, Just trying to get away from it all. If that's the only thing I do, I can descend into really negative patterns of behavior that are not helpful in the long term. And that might be something you know already. What's maybe not obvious is I find that I also can go the opposite direction if I really just kind of get into my personal development mindset. I'm going to tackle this all head on and I'm going to dive in. I'm going to lean in. I'm going to get curious about my negative experiences and I'm just constantly trying to meditate through every problem. That can also be a really challenging frame as well because I find myself getting all tight and wrapped up and just overexposing myself to these negative emotions. In a way that's not really constructive and sometimes can be destructive. So I think the trick is really to kind of find your way to find a balance between pulling away and leaning in. And I think we're all pretty well-versed with how to pull away from our challenges. I think we're wired from birth with the ability to just run away from our problems. Like I think we just all have that deep within us. We know how to turn on Netflix and binge watch a show all day and never think about work and family and money and whatever is stressing us out. But what meditation can teach us is how to skillfully lean in and approach a problem. And that's what we're going to try. And so right away, I want to say if you're currently dealing with something really negative, First of all, This may not be a time to lean in and focus, In which case I'd encourage you to find a way to pull away and relax. Go for a walk, Take a bath, Watch a TV show. I think that's healthy and not something to be scoffed at if used sparingly. Also, If you already have a practice that you have some momentum with, Feel free to use this time to share this space of community online and do whatever practice you have momentum with. And if at any point the guidance that I'm offering feels not appropriate or unsafe or anything like that, It's always in your power to sit back and just listen and not practice or do something else. Really take care of yourself. That's the number one priority. What we're going to do for the next, We're only going to do five minutes because I really believe If we're honest with ourselves, When we're overloaded, We don't always have the bandwidth to sit and do a 20-minute meditation. So let's get realistic here and say, You know, We're just going to do five minutes and see what we can do. So we're going to spend five minutes really kind of leaning into resistance and negativity and seeing if we can accept our challenges before we try to do anything about them. So really lean in and get curious and open about what negativity overload might feel like. And if we're not overloaded in this moment, To notice resistance and negativity anyway, And start to practice the skill of getting familiar with it and bringing some sort of clarity into what's happening in our experience. So, Hi Liz, Hi Christine, Glad to have you here. Hello everyone else. Let's get started. So find yourself a comfortable position. You know, It helps a lot to stretch up. And then to relax into the body. And since we're dealing with negativity. . . This is really a great time. To remember that the posture that you take is really up to you. So if you feel a lot more comfortable lying down with your knees up or your legs straight or, You know, Relaxing on the bed or whatever it might be, You know, Especially when dealing with negativity, Now's the time to take care of yourself. So find a position that really, Really works for you. And let's take a moment to just arrive before we dive into any kind of practice. So let go of any attempt to do anything specific. Or in particular, And let's just be as we are. For a few moments. If you'd like to close your eyes, Feel free to do so. If you want to keep them open, I recommend picking a point and staring at it. And whenever you're ready, I give you permission to just open up to whatever you're experiencing in this moment. No need to fight any of it. Just noticing where your attention naturally is drawn. Could be sounds in the environment. Could be. Patterns of light on the back of the eyelids or something you're seeing in the room could be body sensations or maybe thoughts. Just noticing wherever your attention is drawn. Opening yourself up to. The full spectrum of experience. Here and now. And if this open awareness is a canvas, I'm going to ask you to see if you can search that canvas with a high level of clarity and detail. Search every inch of that canvas for any sign of any kind of resistance or tension or negativity that might be manifesting in your experience. So maybe there's a tense part of your body. Or maybe you're finding yourself drawn into stressful thinking or negative thinking. Maybe you're annoyed by a sound that you hear in your environment. Anything that you might be resisting, Any tension you might be feeling. And see if you can use the power of your awareness to just pay full attention to it, Accept it exactly as it is, And notice it with a high degree of clarity, Noticing the shape of it, The texture of it, And just letting that negativity, That tension be as it is, And not trying to do anything about it, But just experiencing it fully. With curiosity and openness. It might be subtle. Like a slight flexion in your back that's feeling a little bit uncomfortable. Or maybe it's grandiose, Like you're drawn into stressful thoughts about a meeting you just had, Or something coming up, Or something going on in your life. It's pandemic even. Could be big, Could be subtle. Whatever it is, Wherever your attention is drawn when I bring up this topic of tension and negativity. There's nothing to do about it. Just accept it as it is. See if you can experience it fully. What does it feel like? What does that tension feel like? What does that negativity feel like? Where do you feel it? What is the pattern of the feeling? Is it fluctuating and changing over time, Or is it static and solid? No judgment needed. Just open yourself up to the experience fully. And if this is challenging or difficult, Feel free to take a step back. To not pick the biggest challenge in your life. And just focus on the little itch in your foot. As opposed to. The big grandiose challenges of life. So you're in control. Of your practice and you want to find the right level. For where you're at right now. Don't go too deep. Even if it's tempting to do so. And now for this last minute, Continuing with this practice, Noticing any tension. Any negativity, Any overwhelm or discomfort you might feel. But trying to maintain that awareness. From a bigger perspective. See if you can use this last minute to just zoom out on the full arc of your life, On the full scale of planet Earth. Zooming out as far as conceivably possible, The very biggest picture. And just recontextualizing, Not to say that your problems are meaningless. But just to give yourself a bit of a larger perspective on them, To see if you can get some space in order to see them more clearly. In the large scale of things. And you might hear introduced a little bit of. Loving kindness, A little bit of positivity to balance the experience. Maybe you're unlocking some positive vibration from that bigger perspective and just tap into that. See if you can feed it into the moment. This is really just a big experiment that we're doing, Playing around with this mysterious conscious experience that we all seem to have. Okay, Wonderful. So you can let go of the practice there. Give yourself whatever you need in this moment, Whether it's a little bit of a stretch or taking your time, Opening your eyes.