Good morning,
Good afternoon or good evening,
Wherever you are,
And this is a good day.
You've made the decision to seek some company or to seek some reassurance from your situation.
If you're here,
You've probably gone through a breakup.
It could be really fresh and new or the pain has been lingering for a while,
Maybe.
Either way,
You've gone through a complete change of circumstances,
Which trust me,
I understand is a really confusing and often overwhelming time.
Breakups can bring up issues with trust.
When you look back over your time with this person,
It could feel like you've been lied to or like you had faith in someone which has now been broken.
Naturally,
In these situations,
You may start to doubt other things in your life too,
Like doubting yourself,
Doubting reality,
Doubting your decisions.
Those feelings may feel wrong.
You may have pent up anger or sadness or even hopelessness,
But like everything in life,
These are temporary feelings and since they're temporary,
I really urge you to feel them rather than run away from them.
By running away from these negative feelings,
They linger for much longer than if we face them head on.
This is a chance to feel deeply,
To understand what you don't want from a relationship and what your true needs are from another person.
When we're deep into a relationship,
It creates this kind of veil over our life and we become attached to this person and their reality.
This taints our own reality,
Especially if it's an unhealthy,
Possessive kind of love.
When that unhealthy,
Possessive attachment is taken away,
It can feel like we've become half a person.
But I'm here right now,
In this present moment to tell you that you are a full,
Complete person irrespective of anyone else.
I think it's healthy to have a few days of despair or confusion because of such a drastic change in your life but after that initial shock,
It's time to reframe your perspective.
Take your life back into your own hands.
In fact,
Your life was never in anyone else's really.
You have always been complete.
You've always been whole within yourself,
No matter what is going on around you.
Your emotions are a guide for you right now.
If you feel angry,
Write down the reasons why.
Be brutally honest with yourself here.
Are you angry because they did something to you that you can't forgive?
Or are you angry because of how that action made you feel unworthy?
Are you sad because you don't have them to talk to anymore?
Or is it because you just feel lonely in general?
This exercise can help you to know yourself a little better and it's the first step to growing in your own direction.
Not judging yourself but instead sending yourself some love and affection.
You get to grow in your own direction now.
You get to make up the rules.
You get to paint your life just as you want to.
It's very common to feel painfully critical after a breakup.
If you're feeling critical of yourself,
Remember that you're the only person who you truly always have.
You are a completely unique soul.
Whatever has happened in the outside world is irrelevant.
You are unique and whole within yourself.
Your emotions are valid and listening to them is very important.
But they do not need to consume you.
Your mindset over this next while can determine how deep this scar will really be.
You have a choice to see this whole situation with a different perspective.
One of possibility and growth and understanding.
Whatever criticisms you're throwing at yourself,
Imagine you were throwing these insults towards a friend.
How would that make them feel?
Towards a friend,
You can see some perspective.
You can see that this is not true.
Look down at yourself from a bird's eye view.
The best thing you can do in this situation,
And it isn't always easy,
But the best thing you can do is to shower yourself with love and care.
Even if you have to force it at the beginning.
Whatever has happened in this situation is not a reflection of your true inner self.
Yes,
You may have made mistakes.
In fact,
I'd go as far to say that you have made mistakes because you're human.
Again,
Have this awareness for where you've gone wrong in the relationship or in general.
But again,
With some perspective.
Notice where you've gone wrong and then make a promise to yourself that you will learn from this and grow from this.
That is literally the only thing you can do.
If you're hurting from this person's actions,
Remember that they're only human too.
You are strong and whole.
Seeking revenge for whatever they have done to you or said to you will not actually help anything.
Do not stoop to their level.
You will seek no solace in revenge,
Only more pain.
Even if the revenge is just you repeating over and over events in your head.
Have a think.
Do you want to give them so much of your energy?
And these thoughts in our head that we're repeating over and over,
This is vital energy.
It's being wasted on something that brings about no change at all.
It's not an easy thing to do,
Especially if the breakup is very fresh.
But can you at least accept what has happened?
Acceptance of all aspects of the situation,
Whether they're good in your eyes or bad.
This has happened.
It's in the past now.
And right now is the time to adapt and adjust into your new life.
Are you in a place yet where you can forgive them for what they've done?
Or perhaps what it takes is the courage to forgive yourself.
This feeling of forgiveness might feel far off.
But I urge you to keep it within your mind.
Maybe just a tiny little inkling in the back of your mind.
Work towards forgiveness.
And before that,
Work towards acceptance.
I want you to repeat after me.
Maybe in your mind or preferably aloud.
I did the best I could at the time.
I am worthy of love.
I am complete and whole.
Repeat those one more time.
I did the best I could at the time.
I am worthy of love.
I am complete and whole.
I will leave you with these affirmations.
And please look after yourself.
Care for yourself deeply.
Love yourself deeply.
Because you have done all that you have been able to do.
And you are a unique,
Complete soul.
Remember that.
