Letting Go Of The Need To Fix Everything

Our session today addresses our "inner helper" impulse to fix everything, which can become overwhelming when facing "wicked problems"—those with no easy solutions, in our own lives (e.g., elderly parents, our children, our own health) or the macro "wicked problems" around us in the world (e.g., war, hunger, racism, homelessness).

The problem with this is we get caught up in our ego, trying to fix, fix, fix, usually driven by anguish and fear. Instead, we simply witness them, using breath to process feelings without getting caught in the story.

In this practice we take a break, we surrender and tap into insight.

Our practice takes from Chogyam Trungpa's work: Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior.

Supporting Energies today:
- Quan Yin (Compassion): For witnessing and cradling the urge to fix.
- Drala (Inner Wisdom): For staying present; the ability to be with what is with gentleness is the source of "magic."

Transcript

Yeah, I think what I was tapping into this morning is just that I don't know. It's so heavy right now. There is so much bad stuff going on all around us and even in the microcosm of our own lives. You know, Elderly parents, Our own health, Complications and situations. Something that I, That there's a concept in. . . Meditation in Buddhism about, You know, Are you the donkey? Is the donkey riding you or are you the donkey? And what came up for me this morning was this thing about, You know, Helping our inner helper. And how we can be constantly trying to fix things. Make things better. Oh, That's so bad. There's got to be something we do about it. You know, And. . . You know, You know me there's like. . . I think there's great power in saying, OK, Well, That's bad. Okay, So what do we want to do about it? Slice it small, Take some action, It gives us agency back, Reduces anxiety. But that helper can sometimes get a bit out of hand and we can think that we have to solve everything. I think sometimes, Particularly in the face of. . . Appalling. Awfulness. And what is often called wicked problems. Problems for which there are no solutions. Or seemingly no solutions possible like, You know, The fact that there is enough food in the world for everyone to eat and yet people are starving. And the fact that there is enough places for everyone to live and yet there are so many that are homeless. These are wicked problems. So in the Shambhala series of how to be a warrior. There is also. . . The letting go of trying to help. Let go of trying to fix everything. Just letting things be as they are. Just letting it be. So it felt appropriate that that would be our practice today. Letting things be, Not trying to fix. So I'm a bit full of a cold. It's a bit hard to breathe through the nose but we're going to start with a bit of breath. So breathing in through the nose. Maybe stretching the arms up just to lengthen the spine. Breathing out. Few more like that at whatever pace you want in up out down. We're going to do two more like that. And then just allow a little bit of twisting in the spine. In whatever way serves you. A little lengthening into the sides. And then just allowing yourself to be that little bit more comfortable. Giving yourself permission perhaps to go and get that extra cushion. Maybe it's taking a deeper breath to let yourself really receive the support of what you're sitting on. Perhaps letting go of your meditator's position. Maybe uncrossing the legs so that you can let yourself be comfortable. With each breath. Just let yourself be in this moment. Just noticing the sounds that you can hear. The environment around you. Music. My voice, Perhaps even the lub dub. Laptop. Of your own heart. Use the breath, The sounds, The sensations, The feelings to just tap you into this present moment. And allow yourself to be gentle. Gentle with the cultivating of your focus. Gently pulling your focus back. You choose what you focus on today. Breath. Sound. I hope, I suppose. And allow yourself to just surrender into this moment. Then she tries. . . Surrender. You might notice inner resistance. Surrender and allow yourself to really feel. Witness the resistance. Not letting yourself get caught up in the resistance, Just allowing yourself to witness. As if through a plane of glass. So you can just be curious about this. Inner part of you that needs to fix everything. Gently noticing if you get caught up in story. Gently, Gently. Dissolving that with your breath, Breathing it out of your body. Returning your focus to being the witness. And notice already as you. Surrender into this position of witness. How that wise, Compassionate energy of Kuan Yin comes into you and fills you. Helping you just cradle, Witness, Observe. The yearning inside you to solve the problem. To this part of yourself you can say thank you, Thank you. You can rest. And simply be with things as they are. And as you sit with the broken. Wicked problem. Notice the feeling in you. Just breathe it out of your body, Soak it in. And breathe it out. No fixing, No trying to change anything, Just allowing yourself to. . . Be with what is. And simply let go of the effort of trying. Gently, Gently, Anytime you find your mind wandering. Letting go. Choosing your focus. Sound and breath. In. Out. Ease and flow. And as you find yourself here just tapped into presence Just feel into the enormity of the worlds. Incredible complication and chaos. And know that control is futile. That's not for you. Breathe and relax. All your power. Is in presence. All your power. Is in the present moment. Being fully present. Here. Now. And Quan Yin can be joined. By Drala. Dry lows nor God or a spirit in us. Fundamentally connecting to the wisdom that is within each of us. Part of us that allows us to be present with things as they are. This is what creates magic. Staying in the present. With things as they are. Not zooming off into the future. And worry. Not zooming back to the past in regret. Stay. Yeah and now. So just allow your, Draw allow your wisdom to show you now. How do you get pulled into the future? Be the witness. Allow yourself to be curious. As we do this practice just allow yourself to really Lean into that compassion. And give yourself credit for how hard that is for you. Just notice what do you need. What will help you stay in the present? With things as they are. So notice through this practice if any tension has arisen in the body. Use your breath to release, Let it go. If your mind's got caught up in story. In the problem. Gently, Gently. Let it go. Breathe in this surrender, Just letting things be as they are. No need to fix it. Gentle softening of the tension in the belly around the heart, Around the jaw. And all softening of the tension in the hands, Shoulders. As you further let go and just surrender into this present moment. Just allow to bubble up into your mind. Just the tone of your week. How can you understand? About yourself. From your weight. What's one thing that's going to help you? Just make that promise to yourself to really give yourself that. And as we draw our practice to a close today, Just. . . Really feeling these two energies supporting you. Quan Yin. Compassion, This. Iterate. Noticing what do we feel? What do we need? Supporting ourselves with that. This drala. The magic bringer. Through gentleness. Being fully in the present and being able to be with what is. This is where the magic happens. Is. We don't need to produce it, It doesn't come from us, We just tap into it. Fully in the present. We just begin to breathe a bit deeper and breathe in a big thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. Soaking that thank you into your own body, Thanking yourself for doing this practice today. Beaming a big thank you, Thank you, Thank you out into the world. To our little community of meditators. Feeling ourselves connected to all the millions of people meditating right now around the world in this moment. Feeling this magic within you as you begin to wiggle your toes and your fingers. As you rub your hands together, Generating a little bit of heat between your palms. And then perhaps rubbing your face. Giving the back of your neck a bit of a squeeze, Allowing your body to take any movements that it wants. As you blink your eyes open. Stretching up. Joining palms together. Thumbs down to heart space. And thank you for practicing with me today.