Why Can't I Switch Off?

Ok, so this is where we are. You've spent all day thinking "I can't wait to get home. I can't wait to sit down. I can't wait until everyone stops needing things from me."

And then finally, nobody needs anything from you.

You sit down, you choose something to watch, but two seconds later, you're up and doing a task, or you're scrolling, you're tapping your foot and you cannot switch off.

This talk explores why it’s so hard to switch off, and what we can do to make it easier.

We cover:
Why stopping what you’re doing doesn’t automatically switch off the stress response
Why scrolling, watching TV or replaying your day might not give your brain switching off cues
How movement after a stressful day may help you transition out of a period of activation

This talk is complemented by a short meditation:  Switching Off - Your Transition Into Rest. Use it after work, before bed, after a night shift, or anytime you’ve stopped doing all the doing but you still feel switched on.

Enjoy!

Transcript

Okay, So this is where we are. You've spent all day thinking, Well, I can't wait to get home. I can't wait to sit down. I can't wait until everyone just stops needing things from me. And then finally, Nobody needs anything from you. You know, You sit down, Maybe you choose something to watch or to read or to listen to. But then two seconds later, You're up, You're doing a task or you've got hold of your phone and you're scrolling or you're tapping your foot and you just cannot seem to switch off. Your physical body might be sprawled out on the sofa, Which you've been looking forward to all day, But your mind. . . Your mind is still answering emails. Or planning tomorrow. Or replaying conversations. Or reminding you of things that you've forgotten to do. Or maybe actually there's not one particular thing going through your mind at all. You just feel wired. Running a bath and lighting some candles can be absolutely gorgeous. But if you're laid in the bath spiralling, Trying to work out how are you going to fit everything in next week? How are you going to do everything? How are you going to pay everything? That is a stressful experience. There's no doubt about it. Your brain doesn't see scrolling or being on the phone to a friend, Giving them the lowdown on your crazy day or watching something on the TV that's designed to captivate your attention. Your brain doesn't see these things as calming, So it's still on high alert. The amygdala, Part of the threat detection network, Is probably still super active, Looking out for threats. Your body is tense, Your muscles are tensed up and they're ready for action. All this is part of the stress response. This isn't bad. I really, Really, Really don't think that in and of itself, This is bad, Right? We need the stress response to be on when we need it for focus, Energy, Activation, Motivation. So it's not wrong, But the bit that's often missing is that in order to switch off, We need to take steps to tell our brains, Okay, It's safe. There's no threats to be looking out for. No need to keep firing the stress response. In fact, It's time to switch off. The challenging thing that you've been doing or the challenging day that you've had, Those things coming to an end don't necessarily automatically mean that your stress response will dial down, That your heart rate, Your muscle tension, Your attention, All kind of instantly understand like, Oh, Okay, Brilliant. That's over now. Okay, Let's switch off. In fact. . . The challenging thing or the challenging day can continue in your head. That feeling of your meeting finishing hours ago, But you still having that same argument again in the shower. You're going over and over and over tomorrow's meeting or tomorrow's appointment. Okay. So if any of that resonates, You probably want to know what can we actually do? Because just trying harder and harder and harder to relax can have its own problems. So much so that we're actually going to explore this topic in a few weeks time. So keep your eyes peeled. Well, Rather than trying to think your way to switching off, You can use your body to help communicate to your brain that the challenging project or role or day is over. And you might think I'm going to say, So lie your body down on the floor and do some calming, Restorative yoga. And yes, That might be super helpful for some people. And if that's helpful for you, It's a no brainer. Do it. But there's also a school of thought that says it can be really a sensible idea to move your body after a challenging period. After all, The stress response is often called fight or flight. And so if you do like a high-powered yoga class, You go for a walk, You go for a run, Even doing a few squats, You lift your heart rate and your breath rate, You get your blood moving, And then you can help your body tell your mind, I've run away from the threat and I'm now safe and I can be calm because we've moved away from the threat. You've effectively simulated and completed the fight or flight cycle. I have a couple of therapeutic clients that this works really, Really well for. Just going straight ahead and lying on the floor. It didn't work. They were laid there spiraling, Thoughts going quicker and quicker and quicker, More and more negative. And then also thinking, What's wrong with me? Why can't I switch off? So we gotta. . . We got moving, And then we tried again, And it was much more successful and enjoyable, And they were able to switch off. So, Next time, You finally stop after a ridiculous day. And you discover that you can't switch off, Perhaps don't immediately be like, Wow, What's wrong with me? Why can't I relax? Ask yourself, Do I need to move my body? Do I need to use my body to transition towards switching off? And if you'd like some help doing that, I've recorded a short practice specifically for this. It's designed to be used at that point in your day when all of that doing, Doing, Doing is finished and you want to switch off. That might be like 5 past 5 as soon as you've logged off work. Or it might be 11. 30 at night and you're on your way to bed. Or 7. 30 in the morning you've just finished a night shift. There's no wrong time to do it at all. There's some suggestions for movement, For working with your breath and then a little mindfulness and it's all to help you switch off. But for now, When you notice you can't switch off, Rather than thinking, Oh, This is such a pest. Why can't I switch off? Why can't I relax instead? How about thanking your brain and your body for just doing their very best to keep you safe? Because that is what they're doing. And then pop on the short practice. I'd love to hear if you find the practice and this insight useful. And if you need any more support with this, Just give me a shout. As always, Happy practicing.