5 Step Kindly Awareness (Metta)
by Tine Steiss
We are practising kindness to ourselves, a loved one, a person we barely know, someone with whom we have a difficult relationship and all of humanity. We practice kindness to the whole of our experience. Connecting with our experience in a kind, compassionate and gentle way, noticing how it feels to be kind to ourselves and others.
Transcript
Kindly Awareness,
Also known as Loving Kindness Meditation or META.
Intention,
Practicing kindness to ourselves,
To the whole of our experience,
To others and all of humanity.
Attention,
Connecting with our experience with kindness,
Noticing how it feels to be kind to ourselves and others.
Attitude,
Curiosity,
Kindness,
Non-judging.
Settling into a comfortable sitting position,
If using a chair,
Sitting away from the back of the chair so that the spine is self-supporting.
If sitting on the floor,
It is helpful if the knees are supported.
If they aren't touching the floor,
You could try supporting them with cushions.
Experiment until you feel comfortable and firmly supported.
Feeling the sitting bones on the chair or cushion.
Tuning in to the sensations of the body.
Perhaps feeling a lightness or expansion in the spine.
With the head nicely balanced on top.
Seeing if you can find a position for the head where it is not too far forward or too far back.
If sitting on a chair,
Finding a position for the feet to be supported and flat on the floor with legs uncrossed.
Gently closing the eyes if that feels comfortable.
If not,
Letting the gaze fall unfocused on the floor a short distance in front.
Making an active choice to allow ourselves to be exactly as we are in this moment.
Which in itself is an act of kindness.
Taking a moment now to become aware of the sounds outside of the room.
Awareness of the sense of hearing.
Not trying to identify the sounds,
Just moving from sound to sound.
Now moving to the sounds inside the room.
The sound of my voice.
Allowing sounds to come and go as they please.
When it feels right for you,
Moving the awareness and attention to gently noticing the movement of the breath.
It's a constant feature of life that is easily forgotten.
So taking some time with it now.
Practicing feeling the sensations as the breath enters the body and leaves the body on its own accord.
Allowing it to move through its circle of in-breath and out-breath without controlling.
Sensing the rise and fall of the belly.
Perhaps placing a hand on the belly,
Feeling the movement of the breath,
The rhythm.
Letting it roll in and roll out.
Riding the waves of the breath from moment to moment.
As we practice this meditation,
If at any time sensations in the body become too uncomfortable,
Thoughts or emotions arise that are too difficult.
Remembering that it is always possible to come back to the rhythm of our breath or the feet on the floor as a safe place.
A retreat for us to rest in,
Practicing coming back to the breath as an anchor.
Until we are ready to venture back into the meditation.
Just tuning in and listening to the sound of my voice.
We start with ourselves.
It is only possible to connect with others if we have awareness,
Openness and honesty in our own experience.
So settling into a broad experience of the senses.
Awareness of the body,
The breath and the present moment.
Practicing a sense of warmth and kindness with the breath.
Practicing a sense of warmth and kindness flowing through us with the breath.
Imagining that it soothes the body as it flows in and out.
If it is difficult to connect with a sense of kindness,
Then simply breathe with the intention of responding kindly.
From this space of being grounded and in the moment bringing to mind someone that is easy to feel kindness towards.
Someone from the past or present,
Perhaps a child or a pet.
An easy,
Simple,
Loving relationship may be best.
Allowing yourself to hold them in your awareness.
Perhaps practicing seeing them in your mind's eye.
Or feeling a sense of them in the heart.
As best we can,
Feeling a sense of kindness towards them.
Why can you feel this sense of kindness in your body as you hold them in your awareness?
Making the kindness you feel towards them as tangible as possible.
Perhaps sensing how this person feels towards you.
Seeing yourself through their eyes.
Exploring the kindness they feel for you.
What would it feel like to allow the image of felt sense of your chosen person to fade?
And practicing seeing how it is for yourself to be the one who receives kindness.
Resting here in your own kind regard.
Sending yourself loving kindness.
Now if it feels appropriate,
Practicing repeating some phrases silently to ourselves.
Noticing any effect in the body,
Thoughts or emotions.
May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I love myself just as I am.
May I find peace in this uncertain world.
Maybe you're not feeling kindness at this moment and that's okay.
Whatever you're feeling,
Just practicing having the intention of kindness.
Even when there's pain or suffering.
As best we can,
Softening to whatever is present by taking the breath to any painful sensations.
Breathing in softness and breathing out with a sense of softening resistance.
Perhaps treating the pain as we would treat a child or loved one who is injured.
With a soft breath and gentle kindness.
So practicing once more.
Noticing how we may be drawn towards this practice or drawn away from it.
Being mindful of the quality or qualities that are arising in the moment.
Practicing letting go of any judgments.
We may or may not be feeling kindness and that's simply how it is right now.
Remembering that the heart has its seasons and feelings cannot be forced.
So practicing giving ourselves permission to be just as we are.
Practicing broadening and investigating with awareness the nature of experience from a perspective of wholeness and integration.
Living with life's continual changes rather than trying to grasp it or push it away creates a strong,
Stable perspective.
And all the time the practice is held kindly by the breath,
Soothing and caressing us moment by moment.
In the second stage of practicing,
Bringing to mind a friend.
Inviting this person into her awareness.
In whatever way feels most alive and engaged.
That may be through a mental image of them.
Feeling of what they are like.
Perhaps hearing them.
Practicing evoking a sense of our friend.
Sitting with our experience of them.
Bringing to mind what we share.
As in the first stage we reflected on the pleasure and pain in our own experience.
Now practicing reflecting that our friend also experiences pleasure and pain in each moment of their life.
Now if it feels appropriate,
Practicing repeating some phrases silently towards our friend.
May you be happy and healthy.
May you love yourself just as you are.
May you find peace in this uncertain world.
May you find your own path.
The stories of our lives are different.
But the basic human experience is similar.
Our friend feels joy and sorrow,
Hope and fear.
Experiences triumphs and regrets.
Just like we do.
They experience the same range of emotions that we experience.
And just like us,
They wish to love and be loved.
We can also reflect that our friend is breathing in and out just as we are.
Practicing becoming aware of our friend on the in-breath.
And then breathing out kindness and well-wishing towards them on the out-breath.
Coming back to the body and breath.
Anchoring in the present moment.
Breathing in a kindly breath.
Breathing out a kindly breath.
In the third stage,
Bringing to mind someone for whom we have no feelings of liking or disliking.
Perhaps because we don't know them well.
We might choose someone we know by sight.
Such as a local shopkeeper.
Or someone with whom we haven't formed an emotional connection.
A colleague at work perhaps.
Practicing awareness of our breath.
Practicing bringing the quality of kindness to our breath.
And what it would be like to breathe with a kind breath.
Breathing in with a kind breath.
Breathing out with a kind breath.
Breathing in kindly awareness.
Breathing out kindly awareness.
Reflecting on that neutral person.
Reflecting on our shared humanity.
They too,
Just like ourselves,
Have pleasant experiences.
Have unpleasant experiences.
Experience pleasures and pains.
Hopes and fears.
And like us,
They're breathing.
Breathing in with a kind breath.
Breathing out with a kind breath.
Now if it feels appropriate,
Practicing repeating some phrases silently towards the neutral person.
May you be happy and healthy.
May you love yourself just as you are.
May you find peace in this uncertain world.
May you find your own path.
Practicing cultivating a quality of kindness and interest.
On the in breath,
Be aware of this person and their humanity.
On the out breath,
Breathing out kindness and well-wishing towards them.
Coming back to the body and breath.
Anchoring in the present moment.
Breathing in a kindly breath.
Breathing out a kindly breath.
In the fourth stage,
Bringing to mind someone with whom we feel some kind of barrier,
Difficulty or disharmony.
When we're learning the practice,
It's probably best to choose someone with whom the difficulty is fairly mild.
Or with whom we experience some irritation rather than someone who triggers trauma.
Using our imagination.
Practicing engaging with this person's humanity.
Practicing awareness of our breath.
Practicing bringing the quality of kindness to our breathing.
Breathing in with a kind breath.
Breathing out with a kind breath.
Breathing in kindly awareness.
Breathing out kindly awareness.
Nurturing and holding the pain we experience with a difficulty.
Practicing reflecting on our shared humanity.
Reflecting that whatever difficulties there may be between us,
They also experience a broadly similar range of emotions to ourselves.
They have their good days and their not-so-good days.
They have people in their lives whom they long to love and be loved by,
Just like us.
Although they might be difficult for us to be with,
They have the same tendencies of avoiding the unpleasant and grasping the pleasant with all the behavioural consequences that follow.
Rather than our response to them being dominated by dislike,
We may practice relating to this person from a broader,
Kinder,
More empathetic perspective.
If they were truly happy,
Our relationship would probably be a lot easier.
Practicing infusing the breath with kindness.
On the in-breath,
Becoming aware of this person.
And on the out-breath,
Breathing out kindness and well-wishing.
Now if it feels appropriate,
Practicing repeating some phrases silently towards the person with whom we have some difficulty.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you find peace in this uncertain world.
May you find your own path.
Breathing in kindly awareness.
Breathing out kindly awareness.
Practicing awareness of the sensations that are arising in this moment.
As much as possible,
Letting go of judgement.
You may or may not be feeling kindness.
And that's simply how it is right now.
Remembering that the heart has its seasons and feelings cannot be forced.
Giving yourself permission to be just like you are.
Breathing in with a kind breath.
Breathing out with a kind breath.
Coming back to the body and breath.
Anchoring in the present moment.
Breathing in a kindly breath.
Breathing out a kindly breath.
Breathing in with a kind breath.
Now bringing to mind the people we have already practiced with.
Ourselves,
The friend,
The neutral person,
The person we find difficult.
As best we can imagining that they are sitting in a circle with us.
Or just cultivating a sense of these people being present.
Practicing connecting with what we share.
Our common human experience.
For those we know well.
For those we know less well.
For those we love.
For those we love less.
Becoming aware of how it is with us right now.
Noticing what is arising as we practice kindness to ourselves,
Our friend,
The neutral person,
The person we find difficult.
Practicing awareness of how we feel right now.
Noticing what is arising as we send kindness to these people.
Then broadening out our awareness to include more and more people.
Thinking of people in all directions.
All of them experiencing a mixture of pain and pleasure just as we do.
No matter where they live,
Their age,
Origin or wealth.
All experience pain and pleasure.
We all share a common human experience.
Now if it feels appropriate,
Practicing repeating some phrases silently towards more and more people.
May we all be happy and healthy.
May we all take care of ourselves,
Look after ourselves.
May we all find peace in this uncertain world.
May we all find our own path.
Practicing bringing to mind people in the house,
Breathing just like us.
People in the neighborhood,
Breathing just like us.
In the nearby towns and villages.
All people everywhere.
Breathing just like us.
Allowing kindly awareness to permeate our breath as we think of a widening circle of life.
We may practice allowing in a sense of the whole world breathing.
Rising and falling like waves on the ocean.
The breath rolling in.
The breath rolling out.
Coming back to the body and breath.
Anchoring in the present moment.
Breathing in a kindly breath.
Breathing out a kindly breath.
Gently expanding the attention to include the entire body from the soles of the feet to the top of the head.
Being present to the totality of the experience of sitting here in this moment.
Perhaps feeling the breath moving in the body.
Sensing the body sitting here.
Breathing in this moment.
Noticing the thoughts and feelings.
And allowing ourselves to be exactly as we are.
And now grounding ourselves.
Earthing ourselves.
Breathing in.
And breathing out down into the ground.
Breathing in.
And breathing out down into the earth.
Earthing ourselves.
Broadening our awareness out to the sense of hearing.
Of sounds in the room.
Maybe starting to move and stretch.
And when we're ready,
Gently opening our eyes.
And coming back into the room.
Our meditation is now complete.
4.2 (5)
Recent Reviews
Reena
November 11, 2024
There were a few glitches with the audio but what a fantastic practice! I especially liked the reminder to return back to the present moment and then moving through the different parts of the Metta practice. Thank you 🙏