Self Forgiveness Meditation

This guided meditation takes us through a process of connecting with the ways in which we hold back love and respect from ourselves, and guides us into an experience of self-forgiveness and healing. This is a practice we can come back to again and again.

Transcript

Welcome to meditation. In this meditation. We want to be very comfortable in our bodies. So let yourself just really receive the support. Of your seat. Feel the way that your physical body receives the physical support of your physical seat. The chair, The cushion, Whatever you're sitting on. Is holding the weight of your body. They ground the floor. Whatever is supporting. The seat is holding the seat. Feel the way that the body. Is holding. That stability. Of the seed is. Allowing your breath to move really freely. Given that. . . Scan from the top of your head down to the soles of your feet. And to see if anything needs to relax, Anything needs to let go. If there's any gripping, Any tension, Just breathe into it. Release it. Relax, Especially your face. Relax your arms, Relax your hands. Let your legs completely relax. And then in your torso, Just notice, Does your belly need to relax? And gripped. Can you relax in your pelvis? Can you let your breath flow a little more freely? Here you are sitting for this meditation. This meditation is. A kind of a time out. In your life, A long life. Let yourself take that in, How long you've lived. Let yourself take in everything that has gotten you. For this practice. All the places this body has taken you. All the things you've done. All the relationships. You've had. Even. In the present moment, In this present day, There's so many things that you do. So many things you're working on. This time out. Is very special. You might feel. Like a great relief to take this time out. And it might also feel hard like it might be. Tricky. You don't totally. Want to sit still. Maybe it feels so good that you just want to fall asleep. Let's try to stay awake. At least. For the next couple minutes. Let yourself relax, Let yourself really let go and take this time out. This meditation where focusing on the quality of self. Forgiveness. Soul. Although it's not so pleasant. We can take a couple moments to reflect on its opposite. What is the opposite of self-forgiveness? Self-resentment. Self-hatred. Self-hatred is a strong word, But. . . It's there in most of us. I think of the opposite of self-forgiveness being this quality of Not good enough. Or just. . . Not enough. It's a quality of. . . Coming up short. In life. It's a quality of. Holding. Resentments holding a sense of anger. Or sadness or regret. Against ourselves. Maybe for things that we've failed to do. In this life, Maybe for things that we've done in this life. That we regret. But oftentimes it's not just around actions or lack of actions. It's shame. It's a deep sense of. . . Not liking ourselves. You may relate to all of this a lot. Might be. Like very loud for you, These qualities. And it might be very subtle. This is your meditation and your moment. So you get to tune into how These qualities are for you right now. But be honest. And it's not a mental thing. It's something inviting you to feel in your body. How do you hold back? Love. And approval for yourself. These energies of remorse, Guilt. Shame. Self-hatred. They're very poisonous. And also very universal. We're all walking around with some parcel. Of. Non-love. Toward ourselves. Brienne? Follow your breath into the subtle energy of your body. And just feel. Where you have that energy. We're not going to stay here so you can really let yourself feel it. You might find your face wincing up or some other reaction in your body. Let yourself have that reaction. Your hands tense up into fists. Sorrow. Can arise. You might just want to do. Stop this meditation and just get up. And that might be a reaction to. . . Just see for yourself. Now bring into this meditation into the space where you're working. Presence of a divine wholly benevolent. Beloved not a judgmental god of our time. Childhood or family. Presence of the divine. That is really unconditionally loving. Power that holds everything. So benevolently. The power of love itself. We need help. To do this kind of deep work. And so we invoke that grace. It's like we just open up the chamber where we're holding this energy. And allow the rays of the divine to shine on it. We're not alone in this. You'll find your breath might get deeper. See if your body relaxes. In the presence. Of this grace. And in the presence of this grace, We just see if we can let some of this go. See if we can. Find. That energetic quality of forgiveness. Maybe we have. Forgiven another. And we can. Recall with that. Feels like. It's like we feel the way that we have closed off. Our hearts, So we've closed off. The generosity of our love. And we just open it up again. It's like we welcome ourselves back. Again into love. Can you do that for yourself? Can you open those inner chambers where you're holding those energies? You let this grace Energy. Shine on it. It's like that. Benevolent gaze. It's just melting it. What if? You really are unconditionally loved. By that presence. There's no priest or any outer authority. That can tell you that you are forgiven. This is an inside job. This is for you. To do for you. See if your breath can get in there and release. That guilt. Release that shame, Release that self-resentment, Release that self-hatred. Is open. To love again. I mean, Maybe you can embrace yourself again. Maybe you can shower yourself with love again. Even if you can't get there. Can you release? The hold. The Hold Back. Of the life. You're doing great. Stay with it. Only you know what you've lived through. Only you know all of your secrets. All of your interior. Only you. Can open these chambers. But you're not alone. This divine grace is here. See if you can find. . . Some radical self-love, Some unconditional self-love. See if you can breathe that energy into your being. See if you can move that energy through your being. That's the medicine. We release the self-hatred. And then we flood ourselves. With this self-love. Where there's unconditional self-love. It's not. Once I improve. I love myself. Once I give up this habit, I'll love myself. Wants the others. Have forgiven me, I'll love myself. We just let ourselves be here, Release the. . . Hold. Back of our love against ourselves. We release that and then in the presence of grace dare. To love ourselves fully. So deeply. So completely, Every aspect, Every secret. Little bit more to see if there's anything left. To release. Any other place in your being that still needs to feel that warmth. Of love. That deep forgiveness energy. And then deep inside there. You can apologize. Deep inside there, You can apologize to yourself. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I've held back. I'm so sorry that I haven't been there for you. You're saying this to yourself. Maybe there are amends that you need to make to others, Maybe you need to Say you're sorry to the divine, Maybe. But in this meditation, That deep sorry. It's to your own innermost being. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I've lived like this. Hating myself. Not forgiving myself. Being so hard on myself. I'm so sorry. Receive that. And forgive yourself for that too. Just take these breaths that are so free. They're so forgiven. They're so free. They're so clear. Let your breath be big. Let your breath sweep through you. We're clearing ourselves so that we can live. We're clearing ourselves so that we can rest. This part that's always working. Always struggling. You are forgiven. A few more of these breaths. Once again. Acknowledge that divine presence. You can make a gesture. Of thanks or reverence. And then when you're ready, You can deepen your breath and move your body. And let your eyes come open. Once again.