Call Out Culture

In this episode I'll dive into Call Out Culture. It's supposedly become a movement to point out what should be changed but is it just that? Does it insight change or just divisiveness? Should we be focusing on what needs to change in society and/or other people? Or should we be focused on ourselves?

This and more, recorded LIVE on 1-9-23

Transcript

Welcome to life lessons and laughter with your host Glenn Ambrose.

Hello everybody.

Welcome to the show Let's bring Aubrey on Aubrey hi,

I was jamming out to the jingle Ocean it's like a whole It's a whole mood a minute.

Yes.

It's the it's got the Caribbean flair a Little steel I think has a little steel drum action in there.

I didn't want to go too heavy with the steel drum now amazing Yeah,

I'm a walking dichotomy It's just a little bit of United States a little bit of extend with my Caribbean Today we are talking about call-out culture all out culture Culture call out culture call out culture,

So I'm gonna call out the obvious and State that I am in a fishbowl We've discovered this it's a new device It's very but you are not you don't look like a fishbowl just the first That would be weird if my head went like it would be odd Really difficult for me to be on Yes,

Yeah,

I think I think it'd probably be hard for me I'd be laughing the whole time But yeah,

So so call-out culture,

You know like I think To me call-out culture is one of those things that we're all aware of it We all know that it's a thing and we all know that it's a thing We all know that it's happening.

We've all seen it happen.

We've all probably done it and it's it's really embedded into our culture and So that's you know,

One of the reasons why I want to do a podcast on it because it really is very widespread But it's also one of those things that's just kind of there until you put your attention on it Not really sure what the hell it is You know you got ideas,

I mean you kind of know what it is,

But like I had to google it I Also same you googled it and then you told me so it's right Yeah,

And I mean it's you know a lot of things that's that's probably That's probably you know,

Most of how we live our lives.

We kind of know stuff But we don't look at it close enough to see if it actually makes sense or if it's doing anything or you know Everything we interact in life.

So surfacy and So that's probably why it's like that because this is a part of society and it's very surfacy,

You know Yes,

But so I think it's You know,

And of course stuff like this has interpretation Aspects everybody has a different perspective different interpretations of it so,

You know what what I'm seeing is is the call-out culture and Like one of the first pieces that jumped out at me when I googled it was What I think might be its origin and the reason that it jumps That jumps out at me a lot because I like understanding the motivation behind it like people are naturally good people You know,

It's just what People are good.

We're not out there trying to destroy our lives or other people's lives or cause dysfunction We're actually trying to do the opposite I'll be unconsciously so Yeah,

So You know,

So it's helpful.

Like when I when I understand a positive motivation towards something then it's like oh,

Okay That makes sense Because I don't believe that people just run around just doing stuff To hurt other people for no apparent reason,

You know There's got to be some sort of you know misguided Mentality or something behind it,

You know so so my understanding is that the you know,

The call-out culture is Who knows it might have been birthed back like in the frickin 60s or something?

Because I kind of feel some residual stuff out of that It's it's kind of pointing out things in society that that are Are negative and that need to be changed,

You know for the benefit of all so,

You know,

So I I guess maybe some of the Now this is my own interpretation of it.

You know,

Some of the obvious things might be when racism And sexism,

You know Which have been big things in the last several years that people are pointing the fingers at and going Hey,

There's something wrong with this.

It shouldn't be like this.

We need to make some change You know and it's used for that.

I think that it's it's it can incite some change Change albeit surface change.

It's not very deep change You know But it does incite some change And if we look back through history it,

You know,

It's probably been used effectively in the past You know where again we can use racism and sexism.

I mean,

It's it's not It's not it's not that we have we we still have racism and sexism,

But it's not as bad as it was 100 years ago So we've made some progress in those areas So,

How did we make those progress that progress by pointing out the problems with it?

You know and having conversations and inciting change.

So,

You know,

That's probably kind of Where it came from?

Now we're in the age of social media And being locked in our house for three years and stuff like that And Technology and you know all sudden,

You know,

It can get watered down and It can give us a false sense of activism.

I think you know just saying Because we can say something on social media And you know when when we call somebody out on something or we call out a Negative aspect of a topic we can go like yeah,

That's that's crap.

That's it shouldn't be like that and then of course we feel good about ourselves because We're implying that we wouldn't either implying or literally saying I wouldn't do it that way if it was up to me It should be this way and then we actually the illusion is is that we actually accomplish something or that we're a good person Or something,

You know And it it's it's not changing anything,

You know Action and I feel like it's almost expecting it's just pointing out the problem and expecting someone else to take the action and fix it Yes.

Yeah,

And and you know,

We're usually what we're like if you take a look at the You know,

They don't dive deeper But it's like who who who do we expect to make the change?

Right,

You know probably the government You know because they're in charge.

Oh,

Hey,

We're getting comments at least from youtube.

Hey,

Kevin Yeah,

You can't see him.

Can you I can't see them.

What did kevin say?

Kevin from youtube.

Hey,

What's up?

Yeah,

You can't see him.

Can you I can't see them.

What did kevin say?

Kevin from from rhode island said hey there my friend I haven't talked So it's cool that he's watching oh and janelle Janelle's watching now janelle is in lake tahoe,

I believe Um,

So cool.

Yeah,

And she's on facebook.

So yeah,

I'm seeing comments from everybody Oh,

I'm saying different.

All right good.

We're working this week.

Um So so yeah,

So the you know,

The you know,

Who are we expecting to make the change the government like which You know,

I think at this point well At this point,

You know,

I think expecting the government to make a change is You know,

It's like being kidnapped,

You know and falling for your kidnapper Yeah,

This stockholm syndrome is what we are in most developed countries You know,

We're just so inundated and so immersed that that we're just like we forget that we actually have We have the power They don't They don't They work for us And we think that they don't you know,

We think that they're going to make the change and they're not and you know,

If you spend years and tons of time You know lobbying and and raising money and getting hundreds of millions of dollars together and And you know,

You know,

You get the petition signed and push and push and push and then you finally back them up to a corner Where they actually have to do something?

Then they do something like they change like 10 of the problem and leave 90 of it And then we you know,

We run around like it's a victory Right and we're like,

Yeah,

See we're making change.

It's like no they threw you a bone To shut you up and make you feel like you're inciting change because at this rate,

You know,

It took you 20 years to change 10 So at this rate,

It's going to take you 200 years To actually solve the problem You know And they know that You will you will eventually solve the problem.

It just may be A long long.

Well,

Well,

Maybe that that's if you keep constant pressure that you did For the same 20 years like now now you're depending on future generations.

You're like A person can't do it.

They can't keep it alive So now you're hoping that this transfers through generations in general and nobody kind of gets veered off from I don't know a war or kovid part De or whatever is happening at the time whatever That was really funny I was like,

What did he just say He's late monday's he takes me a minute Yeah,

So it's you know,

It's so I think at this point and I realized this like 20 years ago really like after I woke up I I had I had a a vague interest in politics when I was young and drunk and just enough to Bitch about stuff and and so when I when when I became a responsible Awake human being I was like i'm gonna look at social change Which is incited through politics and who knows?

Who knows what my future holds and I start looking at this stuff and i'm going oh my god Like this is the same stuff.

They were arguing about 20 years ago when I was on the bar stool And sometimes it's the same people even like That nothing changes this way and then I Then I took a step back and i'm looking at all these Like all the problems that were problems 20 years ago,

And i'm like,

Yeah,

There's still problems And then I started looking at you,

You know you you know more problems and and how flawed the system is and everything and i'm like Where i'm gonna have to pray for a spiritual?

Shift because There ain't no fixing this like It was very it was just obvious to me back then that like we could elect the perfect person in every local state and federal election for the next 50 years 100 years and we still wouldn't be able to fix the machine That was created with broken parts with a broken goal That is completely broken so so now You know now thankfully the spiritual shift is happening and i'm thinking like there's you know There's kind of two ways that this call-out culture comes into play And one is is just realizing what i've been saying for a while now Is like we're not going to fix the world like there there isn't If you think we're going to stamp out racism and sexism and the the unfair shift of money and people start we're gonna like solve poverty or homelessness or starvation if you think we're going to solve any of those things With the system that's in place now.

You're delusional because I mean we we can't fix them now like we couldn't have fixed them in the last 50 years like we Formula we've been using right we have the we have the ability to fix these problems But we're not making any ground because it's not profitable to make any ground It's and nobody's interested in solving these problems.

I mean the masses are the normal people are But the people in charge,

I mean if they were actually trying to solve these problems at least one of them would have been solved Or at least we would have made so much progress that we'd be on the edge of Like just transcending at least one major problem And we're not you know,

And it's because the problem the the you know the structure is broken and so it's That paradigm is falling apart now.

So it's which is like cool Like I get all excited finally,

You know,

I've been waiting for this time Finally i'm like yes.

Yes.

Finally the world is collapsing.

Thank you god That's probably not the general consensus but it's mine Yes,

That's when my life changed yep,

Yep,

That's when everybody else that I knows life's changed it's contrast Yeah,

So this is how we can change the world So now,

You know,

We are creating a new paradigm and we're letting go of the old paradigm and I think that that is really the best reasoning For the future of the world To let go of this call-out culture because it doesn't it doesn't solve anything like we've been you know It's it it even has a name now Call-out culture.

It's a whole freaking culture.

You can google it Like everybody around the world knows what it is That's how widespread it is and it's not solving anything If anything it's perpetuating the problem because now we just hate each other because we've been calling each other out on everything right and if somebody If somebody uses the wrong word god forbid,

Right and it's one of those things that you know The intention behind it.

Um is not malicious and it's really intended on uh,

The people who are in the world Behind it.

Um is not malicious and it's really intended on uh,

I would hope Helping or you know trying to resolve the issue.

Uh,

But it just it just the path to help What's that phrase?

Did you just sneeze bless you?

Um,

Oh,

I just I drank water wrong But I was like it was doing the things they tell you not to do i'm like holding it in um It's uh,

It's what's that phrase?

I I kind of hate it.

Honestly the path to hell was paved intentions kind of thing,

You know and and it's meant to I think that the the creation of it was with good intentions and it kind of just Took on a life of its own and people.

Um abuse it and they use it to be right,

You know Yeah,

Yeah,

And I I think that I think that there there's a lot I think there's a lot of truth to that You know,

It's it's big You know,

We do we naturally have good intentions,

You know,

Everybody wants to be loved And heard and understood and accepted We're we're more alike than we are different,

You know,

So so it's it Unfortunately,

We just rise we we go a step up surfacy above that and and we pretend now It's like we all have to have the same opinion on everything and the opinion keeps changing Like lately,

I I think two different times Within the past couple weeks um The there was a reference made.

I don't know if I was talking to you But there was a reference made about being woke like that that Well,

It might have been my friend michelle.

I don't know but it was like like apparently being woke Is you know is kind of slang for?

Awakened Yes,

You're woke.

Yes,

That's correct and now that Apparently that's a bad thing now.

Yes,

It's uh Yeah,

It's all about the way we perceive it from what I understand I think I think like woke was just uh people use it almost as like condescending Term as if like you feel that you're better than others.

That's how I perceive it um But it's all perception Right and it's like what and that's the problem is is I can't keep track of this stuff and How are you supposed to that's the whole thing well Well,

If you don't then people call you out on it.

Yeah Right.

So then now also now you're a bad person because you used woke or you use this or you use that And you know,

I noticed this I noticed this with with um when all Jesus,

You know,

It's In my brain I was I was like gonna point to a period of time By using problems and I was like that's been going on forever.

Uh,

But it was like when I when I was seeing the the the racism issues and the sexism issues and and the the Even the the kovat stuff the terminology was what people were arguing over They weren't arguing over the point.

You know,

It was like I I saw a huge with with the um With the racism stuff going on with the black lives matter.

It was like every Like and I wasn't even involved in some of these conversations where where people or I would see them and people were arguing because They didn't like the term black lives matter They they wanted to use the term all lives matter And the people that were using the black lives matter said listen,

We're you know,

I looked into it because I was curious It's like,

You know because I was curious So so I looked into it and I saw that like they said no when we're saying black lives matter.

It's like It's like if you're in a neighborhood and your house is on fire and I say hey,

Please Can you help me put my put out the fire on my house?

And and somebody says well my house I have a house in this neighborhood,

Too That's not the one on fire.

It's like well,

I understand you have a house.

My house is important It's like I understand your house is important,

But your house isn't on fire right now Mine's on fire.

So could we focus on the one that's on fire?

That's that's all we're saying We're not saying that your house isn't important.

You know,

We're not saying that your life isn't important What we're saying is that ours are being threatened at this particular moment So could we focus on that?

That's it and that made sense to me and I was like,

Oh,

Okay So I don't give a crap what words they use I give a crap what they're saying I give a crap about the meaning of what somebody is saying I don't care what words they use to describe it as long as we can get on the same page if it's a weird term That I don't fully understand and then somebody explains it to me And I go.

Oh,

Well,

Yeah,

You know,

I Okay,

Cool.

I'm with you then i'm with them But people aren't doing that.

They're going no,

It's it's the term.

It's the term.

It's the term It's like no meanwhile This house is burning down all over the street and they're just arguing because you verbalized it wrong What we're doing and I saw this with the um,

When they with the Colin Kaepernick taking the house down When they with the Colin Kaepernick taking a knee in a football game All that explosion.

I I was like,

Why are people Freaking out.

So of course I look into it.

It's like what?

Because that's what I do.

I actually look Type into google.

Are you like why are people freaking out about this?

Yes Sometimes I literally do that.

I wanted to know for myself for future reference.

That's why Yes,

Sometimes I do right now if you need to know this is exactly what you have to do Or sometimes I just type in like what like if somebody is saying something I type I I search them So it's like so Colin Kaepernick is saying something or or the people that are backing him are saying something.

What are they saying?

You know and what I found that they were saying is they're like no We are using our platform to draw attention to racism in the United States.

We are not Disrespecting the military.

We do not mean it that way.

That is not our intention And we you know,

We're we're not even disrespecting the country.

We're just saying that there's problems in it That's it and they specifically say this and then other people come in and they go.

No,

That's not what you're saying that's amazing to uh,

You know,

It's How frustrating that feels?

It's almost like it's invalidating,

You know,

It's totally invalidating which is which So if you take this full circle,

I didn't know it was gonna go here But like one of my one of the things that I found interesting was this post Towards I think it was towards the end of the black lives matter thing and they were like riots were going on and burning And everybody was freaking out going Why are these people burning down their own neighborhoods?

Why are they burning down neighborhood?

They're violent They're angry This is not a way to solve a problem Right.

That's what the other side was saying and then there was this post And it said it said oh you you don't want us getting angry and burning neighborhoods down because of racism maybe You're telling us we should take a different route You mean like taking a knee at a football game?

You mean like doing that and it listed like five different things That that they had done prior to freaking out and burning down cities And it was like we tried doing it every way that you told us to do it And now we're gonna scream Yeah,

And and nobody listened so we're freaking out because we're frustrated,

You know And i'm not saying that burning down a neighborhood is a good idea.

What i'm saying is I understand You know i've been in situations where you know,

I I was saying listen There's a problem here.

Listen,

There's a problem here and people wouldn't listen And I got frustrated and started screaming.

Hey,

There's a problem then all some people were going like why are you so upset?

You're like because of all the times I Said it to you very uh,

It's because of let me let me finish It's because of let me let me tell you let me let me show you the 14 things that I did before I got here That you ignored right now Yeah Yeah,

So so it's you know,

This is You know,

This is where where things go awry is is when when the the wording is more important and we say well well when you when you kneel it It it means disrespect to me.

So that means it means disrespect to you I don't even understand the the real rationale.

I know it's surfacy.

That's where But like if you go deep enough,

You don't get to tell other people what?

They're Like what their words mean or what their actions mean if somebody says I kneel I am kneeling because I I am make i'm standing up against this you don't get to come in and say no you're not kneeling for that You're kneeling for something else right like And then and then we think we're going to have like we're rational and we're going to have a peaceful society No,

We're not you can't tell other people what they think and what they mean by their actions and expect to live in a community with love and respect you How frustrating can you just like imagine just the most simple thing like you come to work and you're like,

Hey i'm not Uh,

I'm not feeling well because i'm tired and they're like well No,

I think you're not feeling well because of x y and z like no,

This is this I just said it Yeah,

And yeah,

They're like no you're just trying to take a day off.

Of course.

You're gonna start screaming Right,

Of course.

You're gonna start how frustrating is that?

Like and I think we've I think we've all had that experience You know,

So So this is you know,

So that that's You know,

This is what's wrong with the call-out culture is we're sitting in our living room on our laptop or our phone telling Determining what we think is right and wrong for everybody else what they mean by what they do And in the safety of our our little house We can lash out other people with no consequences Yeah,

And it's it's dangerous.

You're almost like you're falsely rewriting history They get and then they get pissed off and then like where's all this anger go Right,

You know like now Don't I got a preface this I do not recommend life being like this Because it's dysfunctional in its own right,

But like I remember,

You know growing up I've referenced a lot of times it was it was a fairly Rough town,

But at least you knew where you stood Yeah,

Like,

You know if if you were out somewhere You would watch what you said because if Like I mean within reason not overly because no,

You know now it's overly you have to watch every word that comes out of your mouth Because you're bound to piss somebody off and it's like which of course,

I don't know I can't imagine you doing that I can't I'd love to and i've even tried You're like that's actually my ml.

That's why I do this I'm incapable I feel miserably in my mouth Yeah But back back in the day it's like,

You know,

There was consequences Right,

You know if somebody was like,

Hey And then you won't do it again,

Yeah,

I was like,

Yeah,

Okay,

Maybe you know,

Maybe I should maybe I should That's you know,

That's why I used to Treat people that grew up in our people in our town as a general rule You treated them with a certain level of respect and you treated them with a certain level of respect But in school you treated them with a certain level of respect because because they knew your parents,

You know,

You'd get in trouble or you know I think that the level of respect was just different and the questioning was different You know,

Right and you know,

I'm glad you said that because I think a good example of it is when I grew up Like you didn't talk about politics like if somebody asked who you were voting for when I was young They were like,

That's none of your business,

Right?

Yeah,

It's like it's none of your business Right.

It's like it's almost like asking about something funny.

It's it's not something that you would typically come up and ask someone Hey,

What's your political status like?

Right,

And then now it's like everybody talks about it and fights over it It's like wait like we're supposed to be on the same page,

Right?

And that's that's the thing of it is is we have to get underneath all this stuff one like Understand that the world is falling apart as it is and and it should fall apart.

It's a nightmare It's dysfunctional and it's a mess.

So let it fall apart and put your attention over onto focusing on Creating what you do want to create And that's a community,

You know,

Just living over here in the dr i've gotten and I mean You know,

Sometimes I say I live in a spiritual community in the mountains Yeah,

Kind of I mean technically I guess but it's not really a spiritual community.

I mean it's a piece of property where two of my friends Live in one part of a duplex another one lives in another duplex that I can walk to in 60 seconds or less um Yeah,

And the owner of the property believes in spiritual type principles And they built some casitas where we can have some retreats now that wasn't there before And we all so yeah,

There's a there's a spiritual theme,

But we all you know It's it's not like we're all harmonizing together and saying kumbaya by the fire and well Because if you're spiritual and woke that's what you do Right,

So i'm in trouble I'm in trouble But you know it but nonetheless Not only the people on our property But the people up here in the mountains it is a community to some degree at least more so than in more developed countries You know so so you do depend on one another like you know driving I was driving to pick up a friend that lives Up near like 15 minutes from me to drive down to the beach city.

That's like 45 minutes away On the 15 minute drive from my house to her house Somebody waves me over on the side of the road And it's a young kid.

That's a that happens to be a police officer with a big duffel bag And asked me for a ride in spanish down to Down.

I don't I don't even remember where he was going Right,

Right So yeah,

Like hop in you know,

So he hops he hops in I pick up my friend um It's like yeah,

I'm giving this guy a ride.

Oh nice to meet you.

Okay,

They so we all end up swapping phone numbers Those two needed to do something that ended up putting together a trip to a waterfall with like eight other people I go we hop in Have a great day come back.

Then all of a sudden my friend looks at me and goes you don't know this guy The cop came with us we just met when I picked him up Yeah,

I was like he he found we needed two vehicles mine and another one He found the other vehicle and we all went and and my friend's like you don't know this guy Like i'm like no,

I just picked him up on the side of the road five minutes before I picked you up You know,

I guess But this is how the culture is.

I mean i've Yeah,

I can't count how many people I gave a ride down this mountain to that.

I don't know You know,

I mean like sometimes Sometimes I one time I picked up an old lady that was like 65 years old on the side of a dirt road And brought her down 45 minutes to a city like I was going that way.

Yeah,

She hopped in and I gave her a ride You know Yeah,

So you depend on one another is my point and you don't fear one another,

You know that's what's different about living up here and You have to learn like sometimes I don't think or speak the same way that my neighbors think and speak Sometimes we disagree What the hell am I gonna do?

You know you get over it like you're supposed to get over it like kids get over it You know,

Like when kids argue their best friend the the best friends again,

You know the next day Or an hour later,

You know So that's part of living in community and we don't do that anymore Instead if we have a difference of opinion on something we think it actually means something and it doesn't We're supposed to have differences of opinion.

We're all individuals.

Remember that little different fingerprint and a snowflake reference we were taught When we're children we're freaking individuals We're supposed to you know,

The whole point is for us to be different.

We're supposed to be different We're supposed to think differently.

That's why when we come together we are more together than we are separate Because we have multiple perspectives and we have multiple capabilities and we can see things at different angles and and work together and create something more because of our different perspectives and It's a beautiful thing when we embrace it.

But at this day and age,

It's like it's something dirty if you think differently than I Think then you're wrong.

It's like no When did we lose perspectives right it's so black and white it's so uh,

It's yeah and we live in the gray you know you say that in a lot of your podcasts and I use that I utilize that a lot in my life because I I feel like in our culture We tend we tend to really think everything truly is black and white and I hate to use that term just because everything we've been talking about But really it's like but like,

You know,

It's it's one way or another it's right or wrong.

It's black or white.

It's you know,

It's not uh and It's amazing that people We get so stuck in our we get almost uh trapped by our own opinions You know perceptions and and it's I was talking to someone the other day and uh,

And he was kind of just um,

He was trying to guess.

Uh,

Honestly,

I'm just gonna he was trying to uh,

Guess the culture of someone at work like he met her we met and he was like,

What's your culture?

What's your background and he was naming all these like?

Different things right and she's mixed.

She's she's half black and she's half white and he's naming,

You know,

Like Spanish this that whatever and we're there and I look at him and I said,

Uh,

I said forget what you know Like stop forget what you know,

Because he's you know Dominic like he he was just naming all these things and took him about 10 minutes and he goes Oh,

I know because he completely wiped out like that pre-notion thought of trying to figure out what it is through what he knows It's just like Bring yourself back to basics.

Yeah,

You know,

Um Because I I find myself in that space.

I'll trap my i'll trap myself and not be able to move past it Yeah,

And that's you know,

That's I saw that like I I saw that I had you know,

I had a few conversations Um,

I don't even remember what they were about It was covid era.

So I I think at least one of them had to do with covid maybe another one didn't but like Like sometimes I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know like like sometimes I I I actually do want to understand because like I said when I don't understand Like the other side it Sometimes it bugs me because i'm like it can't be What it looks like there must be something Positive or logical or something underneath because it's not making sense to me up here Yeah,

So i'll have conversations with You know,

Usually I pick somebody that I that I feel is intelligent and can and even keeled To to be able to have a conversation like that and I I had conversations and we went back and forth on all these points And then and what I noticed during that conversation is like I I understood his point I just didn't agree with it,

You know,

So I was like,

Oh,

Okay So I I at the end of the conversation I understood his point and I chose to Stay thinking the way that I was thinking But I understood How he came to his conclusions?

Yeah,

And because then you're assigning meaning,

You know,

Yeah,

It's it's like,

You know,

I don't have to agree with that I'm,

Just wondering how you're thinking to arrive to it like oh,

Okay.

That's what you're thinking.

Oh,

Okay That's what you're thinking.

Oh,

Okay.

Well,

I still disagree with it But at least I understand that you use some sort of logical process to get there And it makes sense to you and I respect that so that's cool You know,

But what I noticed when I did this with people they weren't doing that back to me like towards the end of the conversation Like when I was kind of feeling complete like,

Okay,

I got what I needed now I understand how you think they were starting to go like glenn.

I think that there's something wrong with you like you might need some help,

I I think you're messed up in the head like brainwashed or There's something you know,

You there's something wrong with you and i'm now all of a sudden i'm like Wait a minute now.

This is getting personal and I have to take a step back and go like why?

You know,

Why did they come to that conclusion because in our conversation I came up with like I explained My thought process very clearly and it's perfectly logical now if you want to disagree That's fine You can take everything that I said and go Well,

I don't agree with that Yeah,

Okay,

Then you keep thinking the way you think but but you can't but looking at me like because I have a different opinion and different a different perspective on the same topic doesn't Jive with yours at the end.

You think that i'm literally insane You think that I need psychological help because I have a different perspective than you this is where we've This is where we've gotten to in a society.

We can't even comprehend That there's more than one way to look at something that that's the problem You know Yeah,

So much loss of self-expression that way Right and that's and that's really where what I think we lead to Right now,

I think that that that's exactly where we are.

That was uh,

I'm glad you said that It really pinpoints where we are with this call-out culture because we're Where we are with this call-out culture because where we are with this call-out culture is we are just demonizing everybody You cannot speak without pissing somebody off Yeah,

You can't and that's what it's become fashionable to run around pointing the finger this self-righteous finger at everybody going,

You know,

Like it's and it I see it in the spiritual circles,

Too Oh,

Yeah you know It's like there's a thing,

Uh,

Like that I was reading about the other day,

Um toxic positivity And it was like the whole phrasing where it's like good vibes only,

You know,

And people kind of now perceiving that Yeah,

As like if you don't have good vibes,

You're not welcome here kind of thing and i'm like I don't know like because I can it's really to me.

It's just perspective and it's just the way you use it You know,

Right and and that's that that's a good example.

We might have to do a podcast on toxic positivity because it's just like the next one It's just a perspective like,

You know,

It's like there isn't It some people think that like I have toxic positivity because I don't sit in the problem Like this is one of the most misconceived things about me Is because I choose not to stay in the problem.

I choose not to stay angry Then that means i'm dismissing my emotions and i'm not honoring them and all that stuff.

It's like no I For for a minimal thing to happen in your life It it contains 20 to 30 seconds worth of emotion emotion is energy It's supposed to pass through us capture our attention and say hey,

This is important You might want to look at this If it's positive,

You might want to experience it again If it's negative,

You might not want to experience this again You might want to take steps to make sure that you don't experience this again And then and and it's supposed to pass right through us And we're supposed to get the message and then move on with our lives We're not supposed to be angry about the same thing a year later or two years later or 20 years later That's just carrying it with you.

It serves no purpose Yeah,

You know,

So I look at something and if i'm angry Then i'll usually have to pace for a while.

Maybe drop 150 f-bombs in five minutes And get it out of my system Yes,

And then I can sit down and go.

Okay.

Do I want to stay angry about this?

I'm angry because I feel like a victim Is there another way to look at this so I don't feel like a victim in the future?

I want a more empowering outlook,

You know It's uh,

It's interesting.

Have you ever seen there's a Uh video of will smith where he goes skydiving.

It's a really cool video.

Uh,

He talks about skydiving and and it's quick.

So i'll be quick.

But basically,

Uh,

He talks about going skydiving with his friends.

It's like the night before they're all like drinking.

They're having fun They're like,

Let's go skydiving and like everyone's excited.

They're all like i'm going you're going,

You know And he's like and then the next day you're like,

What did I just what?

He's like,

I don't know about this like whatever and he just talks about he's like The morning of the skydiving he goes I could not enjoy my breakfast at all.

I was so anxious I was so worried.

I was so worried and like Everything the whole day was ruined up until skydiving and all the way up until the point where he is at the plane And they pushed him out It's bliss and he's so happy and like there's no fear You know,

There's none Because in the moment of the action,

It's all like leading up to it um and how Sitting in that emotion.

Can't it just ruined his day for literally no reason And he says after he's like why why couldn't I enjoy my breakfast?

Like I did it to myself.

I could have enjoyed my I had a great day So that's that and that's that's exactly so in that situation What I do is if if something's bothering me and i'm upset about it i'm not sitting there going I have to experience this All day because I honor my feelings Right.

No,

I sit there and I go I don't like the way this feels.

I don't like being upset So what's upsetting me?

Oh,

I have fear about going skydiving.

Oh,

Well,

That's natural.

You're jumping out of a perfectly Of course you're going to have fear You know Oh,

Okay.

So so like why don't you just make a choice if you know If you don't want to do it,

Then don't do it and decide it now if you do want to do it Then accept that you're going to have a little bit of fear and you know Worrying about it isn't going to help you.

No,

Maybe Right.

It doesn't sir.

How do I benefit by walking around in fear and worry for the next eight months?

Or in worry for the next eight hours until I jump out of a plane.

It doesn't benefit me.

So then i'm not going to do it Yeah I'm gonna i'm gonna be like,

Okay I'm gonna have to put my trust in the parachute or i'm gonna have to you know Put the trust that i'm eternal and if I splat then i'll just be floating around in heaven,

You know Whatever like do whatever you need to do for you.

It's it's your perspective.

So it's going to be different for everybody You know,

Whatever you need to do to make peace with it,

But you don't have to walk around in that suffering,

You know Yeah So I think it's you know,

We No,

I gotta I gotta get back to the Yeah Yeah to the spiritual so so like in you know in a spiritual Spiritual life,

I think we're pointing our fingers at things too much.

Oh,

This is the right way You know,

We we get on a high horse.

This is when I talk about spiritual snobbery It's like because we're coming from love then we must be better than everybody else It's like no No,

You're not Does that mean that love isn't better?

No love is better,

But you're not I'm not better than anybody else Because i'm coming from love and they're not that doesn't make me better.

It makes me different That's it and different isn't better.

I mean,

You know Do do I want people coming from love?

Yes,

I do want people coming from love But if I judge them because they're not coming from love That's judgment and I am no longer coming from love Yeah,

You know that that's the crux of it we can't rationalize Why we have the right to be judgmental?

Yeah,

And call it love.

Yeah,

But i'm coming from love and they're coming from hate Yeah,

But they're judging you and you're judging them.

You're doing the same thing right So it you know,

It doesn't it doesn't matter if you're coming from love if you're being judgmental It doesn't matter if you're coming from love Judgmental.

Mm-hmm.

It doesn't matter if you're if you're caught if you say you're coming from love But other people have to do what you think is right.

That's manipulation Yeah.

Yeah,

And if you're if you're truly holding space for someone,

Um When you're holding space and you're just receiving and listening you know,

It's not um,

I think you mentioned this and you definitely mentioned this in a podcast before but uh you know comparing Either makes you better or less than it's like no,

There's no winning to to That you know like yeah Your opinion is just your opinion and it's their opinion is their opinion and once you compare them You're gonna like one is gonna be better and one's gonna be less than like there's no Just the ego either way Right,

So you're either gonna feel like crap about yourself or you're gonna feel better than somebody else either way That's everything.

Yeah,

It's it's ego.

All right,

You're either gonna be better than or less than so Is it really something you want to do and that's gonna feed your ego exactly It's either in a negative way or a positive way,

But it's ego food either way Yep,

And then the conversation is no longer about holding space or even being present for that other person Yeah,

This is why I like Using the term energy so much because it's not what we do.

It's the energy in which we do it agreed You know,

So it's that that's what we have to pay attention to it's it's like,

You know the the biggest like I heard somebody say I forgot who it was I heard somebody say years ago.

They're like,

You know,

I could imagine jesus coming to earth again You know and just coming down and going I could see jesus is just looking back going you guys missed it You missed the whole damn thing I was just you know,

I was just saying love that's it.

That's it Nothing more nothing less.

You don't have to kneel.

You don't have to build big buildings.

You don't have to Follow ten commandments.

You don't have to those ten commandments were just pointing towards love That's a they would I was just trying to give you I was trying to get a good start and just the basics Don't steal don't lie.

Yeah Don't have too much of anything Yeah,

It's just it was just that's it.

Yeah,

You know,

I you know,

I was just kind of pointing in directions but like if you have a if if you have a window of love And everything you do has to pass through that window Or it doesn't work then I think we're headed in the right direction So if you go like,

You know what I have to stand up against uh injustice um and Like so so i'm gonna tell these people that they can't do that Oh,

Is that loving does it pass through my window of love and see this is where people get confused They go.

Yes,

Because i'm trying to create a loving world.

No,

That's the end See the the end does not justify the means and and people think that that it does and it doesn't the end does not Justify the means the end is a culmination of the means So so you cannot lie cheat and steal manipulate judge And then get to a place of love.

That's not where love lives.

There's there's no love destination at the end of a judging Road.

Yeah,

You know,

Yeah,

So like you got to walk the the non-judgment road To get to non-judgment,

Which is loving,

You know,

So it's about Letting go of all the the ways we think we're gonna fix things.

I have to stand up for what's right No,

You don't you just have to live it Yes,

Go live it in your life.

You be what's right with the world You be loving.

Yeah,

But I we have to make sure every have you seen like there's many Dysfunctional people in the world.

Yes,

Leave them alone.

Let them be dysfunctional Don't put your attention on them because you're not going to fix them if somebody is truly dysfunctional because they want to be You ain't gonna fix them.

Most people aren't they're just dysfunctional because the system is not going to fix them And that's what they've been trained to do and domesticated to so all you got to do like You have to be the change you wish to see Be the change you wish to see be an example of love and then when somebody's sitting around going geez I'm not feeling good in my heart.

I'm not I I don't like the way i'm living my life.

I need to find another way Oh,

What's that?

That looks good.

That looks good.

That looks good.

That looks good I'm,

Living my life.

I need to find another way.

Oh,

What's that?

That looks interesting Maybe i'll go do that and they will come to you.

It's attraction rather than promotion Like they teach in recovery attraction rather than promotion just be be what you want the world to be and Somebody else is the way they want we can't change other people It takes open-mindedness honesty and willingness to change and most people don't have that yet But they will But but we have to give them a place to go to when they start questioning themselves because that's how it starts People start going geez,

Maybe there's another way to live.

Maybe there's another way to look at things This doesn't seem there must be more to life that You know when that angst starts building we We we want a really beautiful loving community over here for them to go.

Oh,

There is another way Maybe i'll try those weird love people Thing I don't know.

Yeah,

I mean it's weird and everything but I mean,

It's having having the resources and support for when shit hits the fan and and it's easy to fall,

You know into those uh patterns yeah,

And when when Then when they go to you and they're like Wow,

This really feels non-judgmental This feels loving Oh,

I love this i'm accepted for who I am.

This is like unconditional love over here.

This is good.

I want this Then they'll do it.

But if they come over to us spiritual people and we go So I I just kind of want to pay attention to you guys.

I'm not really sure yet uh,

And you know,

I'm not sure what i'm doing and and and they And and then we go.

Yeah.

Well your side the way you've been living sucks,

And it's really bad and they're horrible They're like,

Oh that that feels like judgment I thought you guys were supposed to be loved Right.

Well,

We are we're we're we're cursing bad people.

So our cursing is okay Because we're cursing the bad people Yeah,

Yeah,

Like yeah that feels confusing to me very feels incongruent you say your love but yet you Put down others and then I misspoke and you judged me too.

You said I can't say that So now I have to watch everything that I say around you,

But you're supposed to be love and acceptance Yeah,

It doesn't feel like love and acceptance.

It feels like it feels just as bad as those knuckleheads You know,

And this is why that's what's really going to speed up the shift is when we get that Because that's where we are.

We've been there for a little while.

We haven't gotten it yet This is and I think it's going to be helped by us focusing on just creating a new paradigm Yeah,

And we'll start working through that this that's going to be part of the part of what we're going to be going through over the next few years is us getting through that us saying that we live in love and Wanting the world to be love while we're running around judging everybody that isn't loving We're gonna we have to we have to separate from that because it's not love you're not creating a reality based in love We're creating a reality based in judgment,

Which eventually would look just like this one looks Yep,

You can't cherry pick where you want to be spiritual Right,

You can't you know,

It's uh,

It's kind of like all or nothing Yeah,

It is And we just have to be love,

You know,

And and that's it and and stop the judgment and stop the You know pointing the finger and the the spiritual snobbery of thinking that we're better because we're based in love when all we're doing is just Rationalizing our own crappy behavior.

Yeah,

You know and i'm not saying that i'm i mean i do it too Like i mean this is stuff that i'm working on too.

You know,

I mean i know that i still have judgments that i shouldn't have But instead of you know,

Rationalizing them i'm looking at him going glenn really Like that's your love I hear you doesn't sound like love Doesn't sound like love sound like a judgmental ass,

You know,

But uh But that's where change comes from change comes with the ability to be honest with yourself You know honest open-minded and willing so we have to be open-minded and Not in the way the spiritual movement is now that's not actually open-minded that's That that all that is is i'm open-minded As long as you talk about love all the time.

Yeah,

Well,

Then I judge you and demonize you and call you bad Yep,

You gotta be for all of it It's like well,

That's not open-minded You gotta be willing to to do the work yourself So you can be the change not willing to fix everybody else that that you're incapable of fixing Yeah,

You're just pointing the thing.

You can't fix anybody else This is how it's I actually I think this is going to be helpful because A lot of spiritual people like like 10-15 years ago We started getting the the deep understanding that we can't save other people So a lot of people have gotten that a lot of people on the spiritual path understand that we can't save others Now we have to take that mentality and actually implement it into our lives In a tangible way and this is the tangible way or one of the tangible ways It's going we can't save everybody So that means all you're doing is judging you're just pointing the finger judging because you can't save them So why is your attention on them other than to make yourself feel more loving?

Yeah I'm love they're not therefore i'm better.

It's just an ego stroke We have to stop doing that so there's no real reason to be paying attention to the dysfunction Because you can't change it and if you can't change it Then all you're doing is judging it.

So put your focus on just being love being love being love and letting go of that judgment You know Yeah,

Absolutely Stay in your lane stay in your lane be the change Stay in your lane Control what you can control and let go of what you can't look at that.

That's it.

Just true Truth spouting out of aubrey as we sit here in a few weeks.

This is what happens when you life coach with glenn No one needs to know just saying Yeah,

It's it's really Long pauses and conversations and people are like,

What are you doing?

I'm like i'm just thinking thinking about what i'm gonna say I'd just like to give you a conscious response Yeah,

All you have to do is just say I'd just like to give you a conscious response.

Yeah Exactly.

I just gotta keep them stimulated while i'm trying to do my conscious response And then now when when you do speak do people appreciate it when you give them a thoughtful answer very much so Yeah,

It's cool.

It's cool when somebody It like yeah,

It can be a little bit off putting in the beginning when you're pausing with people sometimes A little you know,

And and the better you get at it.

You can you can pause pretty quickly You can disconnect.

That's like a timeout in the middle of your conversation.

Is that what you mean?

Yeah,

It doesn't like you can kind of disconnect from the pole and that's and then bring yourself into the present moment That's really all it takes So so it does go quicker,

But like it's amazing.

I have yet to to get a negative feedback for pausing You know like because people actually like the idea that What they said you are absorbing Yeah thinking about that means you value it You're absorbing it you're thinking about it and then you're giving a thoughtful response to what they said It's this thing called like communication.

We used to do I think 150 000 years ago it's And we're trying to do it now.

We're bringing back communication.

Wow Where you actually listen to what somebody says instead of wait for them to shut up so you can fucking start speaking literally Trying to speak thinking about what you're going to say,

Right?

You don't know You actually listen to what people say absorb it and then give them a conscious response.

It's really it's a wonderful way to communicate It's nice yeah,

It is people really appreciate it.

Oh,

Well you got anything else That's it I think that's it.

I think that's it Yeah,

We covered a lot of ground.

Yeah,

We gotta stay in our conscious lane staying in my lane Be don't worry about what other people are doing because we're not going to fix it that way,

You know,

We're Yes,

But we have to raise consciousness Around this topic.

No,

We don't Because the systems that are in place that you think that are going to fix it.

They're not interested in fixing it So like even if you raise consciousness and all that stuff it ain't gonna get fixed Anyway,

And if if if you're lucky enough that it does it's gonna be a minimal Throw a dog a bone change and you're going to be doing that for the next thousand years And we don't have that long.

We're gonna blow ourselves up before that happens.

So we just need to focus on the new paradigm Get better at having that new paradigm be actually based in unconditional love not Theoretically,

But actually based on it And we have to work on ourselves to do that You know,

It's whenever Whenever I put a post and people say oh,

I know I hate it when people are like,

Oh,

I hate it Oh,

I know I hate it when people are like that.

I'm like,

Oh you missed it You know,

I wasn't talking about the other people dear.

I was talking about you That's part of the problem Every one of my posts i'm talking about you and that means whoever is watching it.

Whoever is listening to it I'm talking to you because you do it too And I know that because i've been busting my ass in this spiritual stuff for 19 years and I still do it Yeah So and I see it in the people that have been busting their ass on this spiritual journey for 40 years Right,

You know Yeah,

We're getting better.

We're getting better at it.

You know,

We're getting new next time Definite progress,

But we still have work to do on ourselves each one of us.

Yeah.

All right.

Let's wrap it up Sounds good wrapping it up.

Yeah So,

Yeah,

I'm like i'll just repeat what he said,

Um,

That's it that's it All right.

Well,

I guess Yeah,

Thanks for listening and thanks for this every once in a while.

I look at my fishbowl and it's a little freaky It looks like my eyes are going over in this direction Yeah,

It's starting to I don't know if it's just because we've been recording for a while or because your screen is actually like My camera is up here I'm gonna have to play around a little late in the game now I think it's fun Watching it doesn't normally go like this,

But sometimes And no,

It's even worse for the people who aren't watching the people who just on audio.

They're like,

What's he doing?

Literally?

Yeah I'm looking into the video if you want to see what's happening.

It's live It's really weird All right,

That'll do thank you aubrey.

Thank you everybody Thank you.

Thank you.

Have a great night.

Yes.

We'll talk to you soon.

Yeah Looking for more check out over 200 episodes of life lessons and laughter Or click the link in the description of this episode to connect with glenn directly