My name is Gerald Blomion and I've wrote and recorded this podcast meditation for you.
Enjoy.
Do you believe people will only love and accept you if you're perfect?
Will saying no or setting boundaries result in losing a friend or a partner,
Group or network?
If you are saying yes when you really mean no,
Then you need to work on your boundaries.
People-pleasing is a way of protecting yourself from the pain and sadness that comes with rejection.
When we hold our pain fiercely,
We tell our stories to protect ourselves and others from being harmed.
Healthy boundaries allow you to stand up for your values and to maintain respect for yourself and others.
They motivate change to reach our full potential.
Criticizing with self-compassion.
Everyone wants to be successful.
Although we learn the most from our mistakes,
We suffer from our so-called failures.
As Truman Capote says,
Failure is the spice that gives success its flavor.
The associated feelings of anger and sadness are fertile sources for our growth.
Self-criticism is indispensable as long as it involves self-acceptance.
By accepting both,
We begin to accept ourselves.
This is a basis to heal and change ourselves.
Anyone who permanently disguises themselves will suffer.
Loving is wonderful.
Everyone who loves risks having their heart broken.
Wanting to avoid the pain,
We often adapt and then depend on others.
Then it may seem more important to please others than ourselves.
When a relationship falls apart,
We feel devastated.
The moment we realize that we can live with that fact,
We experience our latent strength.
And this is the basis of self-confidence.
Welcome everything.
Self-confidence means accepting ourselves as we are,
With all our faults.
This allows us to object if someone is taking advantage of us.
We are challenged not to swallow things,
But to stand up for our difficult feelings such as anger or grief.
Self-confidence arises within us in silence.
We can never solve anything that has happened in the past.
But if we've lost the connection to ourselves,
We can change that.
In future,
We can set boundaries by saying no.
A healthy dose of compassionate anger helps us to set these limits.
Can you allow yourself to feel the anger that helps you to understand your limits and needs?
Not recognizing them means suppressing them.
If we do not take our needs seriously,
Who will?
We start by looking at ourselves with kindness and interest.
Where do we feel hurt?
What is hurting?
Can we feel fear or resistance?
Does the pain have a name?
Feel the suffering.
Use it as a gateway to develop compassion for yourself and others who are suffering in a similar manner.
Allow yourself to feel anger with kindness and acceptance,
And decide to set healthy boundaries with fierce compassion.
With the in-breath,
We feel what is suffering.
With the out-breath,
We send it love,
Understanding,
And feel safe.
We breathe into our pain for ourselves and others.
We breathe out and send love and relief to ourselves and others.
If we cannot name the feeling,
Just stick to sensing it.
Is it pain,
Anger,
Jealousy,
Sadness,
Worry,
Despair,
Or fear?
Maybe we feel a tightness in the stomach,
In the throat,
In our hands,
Or a heavy darkness,
Or something else.
Try to make contact with the feeling and to recognize the suffering.
Inhaling,
We feel the suffering.
Exhaling,
We release it,
Feeling relief for ourselves and all others.
Inhaling,
We feel the tightness of suffering.
Exhaling,
Lightness and space.
Inhaling,
We think to ourselves,
I see you.
Exhaling,
I love you.
After a while,
We notice that the layers of self-protection are loosening.
We can now start making peace with ourselves.
Notice the subtle forms of violence within us,
Such as being self-righteous,
Over-critical,
Irritated,
Angry,
Or guilty.
By welcoming everything,
We open our heart.
If fear arises,
We recognize that others are suffering in a similar manner.
By suffering together,
We are no longer alone,
And we no longer feel like failures.
We honor what is true for us.
Our limits are important for ourselves and for our relationships with others.
Ask yourself,
When did I say yes instead of no today?
What was the situation?
What effect did the not saying no have on your body and mind?
Did you feel authentic,
Honest,
Free?
How did saying yes instead of no affect others?
What would have happened if you had allowed yourself to feel a feeling of fear or anger?
Why was this not possible?
Feel the yes instead of no.
Inhaling,
We feel the part that is suffering.
Exhaling,
We send that part love,
Understanding,
And safety.
When was the last time you were angry at someone?
What happened?
Imagine the dialogue you said,
They said.
What did you feel when you said that?
Was your emotional reaction anger,
Sadness,
Pain,
Grief,
Or something else?
How did you interpret that?
Did you think and feel,
I was neither seen nor heard?
My needs are not respected.
With the in-breath,
We feel the part suffering within us and within others.
With the out-breath,
We send it love and understanding.
Inhaling,
We feel the part suffering within us and the others.
Exhaling,
We send love,
Understanding,
And safety to ourselves and to others.
Compassion always starts with ourselves.
We are responsible for our mistakes.
We and not our partners,
Family,
Neighbors,
Or employees are responsible for our problems.
By saying no,
We set boundaries.
This strengthens our relationships to us and with others.
It helps us to understand and empathize.
Even when we appear angry,
We can remain calm inside.
Everything we do and think is motivated by love and compassion for ourselves and others.
We act when the situation requires direct and energetic action.
Fierce compassion makes boundaries visible.
Determination harms no one.
We strive to balance our tender and fierce compassion.
May all beings live together in peace and harmony.
Thank you.
