Hello and welcome.
This is the Heal My Trauma meditation series,
A trauma informed series of guided audios designed to help you reconnect,
Restore,
And repair your mind-body connection.
For today's session,
We're exploring this idea of leaning into and embracing our suffering.
Now when I say this out loud,
It's not uncommon to sometimes get your back up and think,
What do you mean by embrace my suffering?
What I mean by that is recognizing the amount of energy and length of time you've taken,
Avoiding,
Judging,
Criticizing,
Belittling,
Or hurting yourself in some way,
Shape,
Or form,
For feeling the things that you feel,
Or for reacting in ways that are surprising to you.
It's not uncommon for people who have been traumatized to avoid,
Distract,
Or push away any of the sensations,
Emotions,
Or thoughts related to the traumatic event.
It's a protective mechanism and it's easier for us to push and shove it away than it is to face it.
But just like we don't get angry at or yell at or judge or scream at the ocean for having waves,
The same thing holds true with you.
See yourself as the ocean.
It's not about preventing or stopping or controlling the waves,
But rather leaning into them,
Observing them with curiosity and wonder.
So as you prepare yourself for this meditation,
Find yourself in a comfortable,
Relaxed,
But alert position.
You can choose to do this sitting down,
Lying down,
Walking,
Whatever feels most comfortable for you,
Choosing that option now.
Take a couple of moments to make the adjustments that you need to so that you can fully tune in to this meditation.
Brush your hair out of your face or take that last sip of coffee,
Turn your phone off,
Or mentally tell yourself to put off your to-do list for a few more minutes.
Start to pay attention to your natural flow of breath.
And if you're comfortable with it,
Perhaps bringing to the mind's eye a particular reaction,
Sensation,
Or feeling of suffering that feels familiar to you.
Know that you're safe here.
And at any time,
You can stop the recording or take a moment to stretch or breathe or take a moment of silence.
Remember to be kind to yourself as we examine and explore our suffering within.
As you examine and observe and bring to mind a particular suffering or challenge,
See if you might be able to notice the evaluation you place or the judgment that you place on this sensation or experience.
Perhaps you're telling yourself that you should be over it by now or it happened so long ago,
Why do I still feel this way?
Or perhaps you may be judging yourself for not being able to cry about it or perhaps crying too much about it.
Whatever it is,
Whatever meaning,
Whatever evaluation or judgment that you attach to a sensation,
A challenge or suffering,
See if you can see the thought or the evaluation for what it is.
But with intention and purpose,
Using to let that thought,
Emotion or judgment float by by simply redirecting your attention back to your breath.
Can you allow that thought or judgment to be there without interruption,
Without added layers of judgment?
Notice the sensation that emerges in the mind and the body as you hold that suffering in your mind's eye.
Can you treat that emotion,
That judgment,
That thought like an old friend rather than as your worst enemy?
Can you welcome that thought and say,
Hello dear friend,
There you are again,
I see you.
But without adding attachment or further evaluation,
Allow that suffering to be seen but not judged.
We simply do this by returning our attention to our sensation of breath.
This is how we lean into the suffering and the pain rather than avoiding or distracting or numbing ourselves from it.
And you let the suffering be there knowing that you are brave and strong and have made it and survived up until this point.
So you can handle the sensation,
The suffering,
The challenge,
You can handle it while it's there.
Trust that you're safe here.
Cradle your suffering like a friend or a parent would do to a crying child.
Allow the suffering to be there without anger,
Without judgment,
Without shame.
Allow it to come up and surface.
Allow it to be there openly without judgment.
And continue to pay attention to your flow of breath,
Remembering that you are safe here.
There's no right or wrong.
There's no sensation to feel or not feel.
We're simply tuning into what's beneath the surface that we may have been pushing away or avoiding for a very long time.
Just like the waves of the ocean come and go,
Sometimes they're even and flowing in and out with ease.
Sometimes the waves crash against the shore and produce thick,
Foamy,
Murky waters.
We don't get angry at,
Judge,
Criticize,
Or yell at the ocean for its waves.
We let them be and look on with wonder.
Can you do this to your waves of suffering and emotion?
Practicing self-compassion,
Kindness,
Curiosity,
And acceptance for our moment-to-moment experience.
Continue to use the breath here to move and flow any excess energy,
Tension,
To move any excess negative thoughts,
Criticisms,
Or judgments out of the body.
Use the in-breath to replenish,
To nourish,
To heal our mind and our body.
In-breath to nourish and heal.
Out-breath to let go,
To release.
