The Ripple Effects Of Kindness

When we act in a kind or unkind way towards others, our actions have a ripple effect in our world, impacting others far more than we can ever know. Let's learn the wisdom and beauty of kindness.
(Please note, this is talk, not a guided meditation)

Transcript

Welcome to the Happiness Podcast.

I'm Dr.

Robert Puff.

Have you ever been to a quiet pond where no wind is blowing and the water is crystal clear and there's not a ripple on the surface?

And then you reach back and throw as hard as you can and a rock lands right in the middle.

And then after that,

You see the ripples spreading out further and further until the initial ripple from your rock reaches you in all the sides of the pond.

It's a beautiful,

Wonderful experience that I think we've all had.

Well,

Did you know our actions have the same impact in the world?

When we throw out hate or anger to the world,

That ripples.

Not only does it go to the people immediately around us,

But from them it goes on and on and on.

And sometimes it can hurt a lot of people,

That one action that we or other people do.

In the same way though,

When we throw kindness out and love,

That ripple too goes out in places that we may never know.

But I do believe that it keeps going out and out and out,

Helping those who we give it to and many,

Many more.

I think there's a real tendency to think that our actions only affect the people that we direct them to.

It does impact them,

Good or bad,

But I do believe it goes much further than that.

And I believe when we realize that,

We will think more thoughtfully about what actions,

What words,

What behavior do I want to direct towards others?

Because we begin to realize that our actions matter,

That our words have impact far beyond the ones spoken from our mouths.

Think about how true this is on a global level.

When we watch the news and learn about some young man or woman who went into a school and killed a whole lot of people,

Of course their families will be devastated by this murder.

But many people,

Perhaps billions,

Feel the effects of those gunshots and how it has impacted our world.

But the same is true when we see actions of kindness,

Of love.

When we learned about Mother Teresa of Calcutta reaching out to the poorest of the poor and giving them love,

Compassion,

And sometimes even just a death that's beautiful,

We felt that love.

Love is such a beautiful force in our world.

We need to use it often because when we do,

It has ripple effects,

Not just to the people we show it to,

But it goes on and on and on.

And sadly,

So does hate,

So does anger.

It goes on and on and on.

Our job,

I believe,

In life is to learn to love,

Is to learn to show kindness towards others,

And to make our world a better place.

If we all did that,

Our world would be heavenly.

But we all know that isn't going to happen overnight,

If ever,

Because human behavior is diverse and the anger has as much ripples as does the love and the kindness.

But what we can control is one thing.

We can control our actions and what we contribute to the ripples in our world.

Do we want to contribute anger and hate?

Or do we want to contribute love and kindness?

I vote for the latter.

I think it creates a much better world in which we all can live.

And the other thing is,

I believe it creates happiness and joy in our lives.

I mean,

Do we feel good after we've thrown the rock of hate into our world?

We may sense relief because we needed to get it off our chest,

But after the dust settles,

Do we like the effects,

The ripples of our hate?

Or do we feel shame and anger towards ourselves?

And the same is true when we're able to reach deep inside of us and throw kindness into the world.

Whether we get to see the ripple effects of that love and kindness,

I believe what we will experience is a warmth in our heart,

A thankfulness that we were able to respond with kindness in situations that we may not have been able to in the past.

Kindness is a skill that we develop,

That we work on,

That we choose,

Realizing that it has a lot of good effects on our lives,

The people in our lives,

And today as we're discussing the people in the world.

When we see acts of kindness,

When we do acts of kindness,

They ripple throughout the world.

Our actions can affect so many people we may never know.

And the same way,

Our hate can affect so many people,

Ways in which we may not want to know.

So if we can decide that today,

I want to develop this skill of kindness,

Even when perhaps the other person doesn't deserve it,

Isn't asking for it,

Or perhaps needs a good scolding,

I'm going to work on instead developing kindness as my knee-jerk response,

That that's the thing I'll go to when I'm presented with options of either kindness or hate.

I mean,

At times,

I know,

Sometimes hate can be so strong and overwhelming that we just have to be quiet.

One of my favorite tricks is,

When we feel so much anger,

Is to just leave the situation.

Don't respond in kind.

Because often when we're angry,

It's because someone is doing something to us.

Then we're just perpetuating the hate,

The anger.

Instead,

Just leave.

It's super effective,

It works,

And it stops the ripples of hate.

But the same is true.

Throughout the day,

We have so many opportunities to be kind,

To be loving towards others.

But today,

I want us to see these acts of kindness and love differently.

Because normally,

I think,

When we think of our acts of kindness,

We just think of the effects it's going to have on the person that we give it to.

But what I want us to realize is,

Our acts of kindness ripple throughout our world.

And we are given opportunities throughout the day to keep passing on that kindness to others.

And when we do that,

We can really begin to feel the effects of that love,

That love,

That kindness permeating our world,

Making it a better place for all of us to live in.

Many years ago,

I was on vacation on the East Coast,

And a friend of mine's mother lived on the East Coast.

And I knew she lived by herself and was often lonely.

He told me that.

So I thought,

I'll go visit her,

Just say hello,

Because she knew me,

And I knew her,

And I thought we could spend some time together.

It was a very nice visit.

I think I was there for two or three hours.

And then I went on about my vacation.

Well,

Years later,

My friend told me that when he visited his mother during her last days of her life when she was dying,

She shared with him that I was one of the people in her life that she felt closest to,

That she really connected with me and,

And made a difference in her life.

I had no idea.

I just went to visit her.

And from her eyes,

It was a life changing moment.

And please don't take this wrong.

I'm in no way sharing this to brag.

I'm sharing it to illustrate how we just don't know the impact of the decisions that we make.

We don't.

And we make a lot of decisions throughout the day.

What if we were to really gravitate towards throwing in the pond of life,

Kindness,

Love,

What ripple effects would this recreate in our world?

I think many,

An infinite many of differences.

If we did this,

The one thing I'm very convinced that does create happiness in my heart is that I do do things for others.

And I think that seeing their responses,

Seeing their smiles creates happiness in my own heart.

I don't need to know the effects of it.

I'm not even doing it for that effect.

I just know that when I'm kind,

My heart is happier.

And if we're truthful,

Really truthful,

When we aren't kind,

When we display anger,

Wrath,

Hate towards the world,

Does it really make our hearts happier?

Even if we were to answer,

It doesn't make any difference,

Dr.

Puff.

I think we can all admit,

Maybe it doesn't make any difference to us.

I'm not sure if that's even possible,

But it definitely makes a difference in the world.

Hate hurts our world.

But kindness is beautiful.

It can create such positive impact.

And we have chances throughout the day.

I mean,

When we're getting our groceries,

When we're waking up,

Saying hello to our family,

When we get to the office,

When we're walking down the street,

When we're in the subway,

When we're riding our bike,

We have so many opportunities for kindness.

One of the things,

Though,

That I think could be helpful is just don't look for the response.

Don't look to get rewarded from the kindness.

Just share it.

It's kind of like perfume.

You know,

When you wear a really nice perfume,

Guess what?

You get to enjoy it,

But people around you get to enjoy it too.

Kindness is kind of like that.

It will make our hearts happier when we're kind.

Try it out for a day or a week.

Really work towards just exuding kindness and see if,

Wow,

I feel better.

And of course,

Then if possible,

Notice that the people around you look forward to seeing you,

Are glad you're there,

Are happy in your presence.

I think kindness has so many benefits.

Obviously,

I could go on and on and on.

But the best way to prove it is to choose to do a day,

A week perhaps,

Of being exceptionally kind,

Complimenting people,

Making sure you know a person's name when they're at the checkout counter and say,

Thank you,

Jane,

For the groceries.

Asking people how their day is going and really mean it.

Stop and listen.

Don't just walk by and say it casually.

We need connection.

We need that kindness.

And sometimes we just don't know the impact we're having on another person.

And sometimes it can change their lives.

Over the years,

I can't tell you,

To be honest,

The number of times I've heard a person was going to commit suicide and they changed their mind because someone else did something kind to them just before they decided to end their lives.

I've heard that countless times in my practice and in my life.

We just don't know the impact we're going to have on another person's life.

But we do.

And so,

Since we are creating ripples in the pond of life,

What if we were to really choose to create ripples of kindness instead of hate?

I think we would find that life would be this beautiful experience that we get to enjoy throughout the day.

And then we'll find that life goes well.

Now,

We do need to balance kindness with self-care.

I think sometimes we give so much to others,

We get exhausted.

That's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about loving ourselves and from that love,

Giving that love to others,

Being kind to ourselves so that we have energy to be kind towards others.

That's really the secret of kindness.

The first person to be kind to is ourselves.

If we've had a long day,

Perhaps we can come home and take a long warm bath.

If we need the weekend to rest when we're exhausted,

Then we rest.

If we just need to stop and pause to give ourselves a little break,

Then we do that.

And then when we feel better,

We can,

From that energy of kindness towards ourselves,

Begin to share that kindness with others.

And if we keep throwing rocks of kindness into the pond of our earth,

I think we will find that our world,

At least the world in which we are participating in,

May begin to look a little better and have a lot more ripples of kindness because of our actions of contributing to make ripples of kindness throughout the world.

Thank you for joining me on the happiness podcast.

Until next time,

Accept what is,

Love what is.

Reviews

Perfection! His voice is like wrapping your soul up in your favorite cozy blanket!!!!

Thank you and it’s all true. 🙏🏼

Thank you very much 🙏

Thank you for this beautiful reminder to always be kind to our self and others. 💜

Wonderful talk to start the day. Thank you. Even reminded me to wear perfume! Thank you very much.

Always enjoy your talks! Simple and straightforward reflection—thank you!