How We Can Handle Things Well

In this podcast we explore how it is not about how things turn out, it is about how we handle things.

Transcript

Welcome to the Happiness Podcast.

I'm Dr.

Robert Puff.

Life.

Life can be very unpredictable.

You may know what I mean by that.

We meet someone new.

We fall in love.

We plan our wedding.

We plan our children.

And then something happens and it ends.

Or we go to school.

We plan our education.

We get our ideal job.

We work towards it.

We get advancements.

And then we get fired.

And we have to start over.

We're going along.

Life's going well.

And then we get the doctor's report that something's wrong.

And we have to start doing things to fight this disease so that we can live longer.

Now maybe none of these apply to us yet.

But sooner or later,

Things are going to go differently than we planned.

Sooner or later,

Things are going to happen that are challenging,

That are difficult,

That aren't as we expected.

And this podcast is about what do we do?

What do we do when these events happen?

Because they happen.

They can happen often.

They can happen suddenly.

They can happen when we do everything in our power to make sure they don't.

They can still happen.

So what do we do?

I'm going to say something right now that may seem shocking.

You may say,

No,

That can't be the case,

Dr.

Puff.

But if we're listening to this podcast and if we want to have happy,

Peaceful lives,

Then I think you'll find at the end of this podcast that what I'm going to suggest is the correct path for all of us to be on.

Because it really boils down to this.

Life,

Sooner or later,

Isn't going to go on the path that we expected it to.

It isn't.

And even if we anticipate these things happening,

They still can be quite upsetting when they do.

But for happiness,

For peace,

It's not about what happens.

It's not about how things turn out.

It's about this.

It's about how do we handle things.

Period.

Let me repeat that.

It's not about how things turn out,

But it's about how do we handle these things.

There just are a lot of things in life that are out of our control.

I don't know why they happen.

You probably don't know either.

For whatever reason,

Life just doesn't always go the way we expect it to.

But the good news is our happiness isn't dependent upon how life goes.

It can go up,

Down,

Backwards,

Forwards,

Any which way.

It's irrelevant,

To be honest.

What's relevant is how we handle it.

Again,

Period.

It's not about what happens.

It's really about what do we do with these changes of life?

What do we do when life isn't permanent and it decides to do a twist or turn in a direction we didn't see coming?

Because it will do that sometimes.

What we tend to do,

Which causes us so much suffering,

Is that we start creating stories about this isn't fair.

This shouldn't have happened.

Why is this happening to me?

I don't like this.

And on and on we go.

And of course,

All those are true.

But if we stay there,

If we stay stuck in those feelings,

In those thoughts,

Which we can,

And we often do,

I would actually argue when it's a big thing like divorce or a health issue or a major economic change,

Many people,

Perhaps most,

Stay stuck there for the rest of their lives.

It's very sad.

But they don't have to.

None of us do.

We can have all kinds of things that happen to us and do extremely well.

It doesn't matter what happens.

What matters is how do we handle it?

Period.

So let me talk about a few things we can do when these changes hit us.

How do we handle them well?

Well,

The first thing is,

Of course,

We feel our feelings.

We don't like it.

Wow,

It took our breath away.

Sometimes it really can sometimes.

Because my goodness,

The universe can throw us some really big whoppers.

And I'm sure you know what I mean.

I'm sure you may have had them.

And if you haven't,

Hang on,

Because you probably will at some time.

So you take a deep breath and you say,

OK,

Didn't see that one coming.

But this is what my life is about now.

I can fight it.

I can stay stuck in these senses,

These feelings of despair,

Of unhappiness,

Of fighting what happened.

Or I can say,

Hmm,

This is what happened.

I'm going to make this work.

I'm going to adjust to the changes now,

Whatever that may be.

And I'm going to go forward with these changes and make sure I continue on the path of peace and happiness.

And that's really the secret element of what happy,

Peaceful people do.

They don't fight life.

They flow with it.

And mind you,

Their lives don't go any better,

In quotes,

Than yours.

Their lives often can be much harder.

It isn't about how their life's going at all.

It's about how do they handle it.

And we're here to handle it.

And we're here to help you.

It's about how do they handle it.

And we're here to handle our lives well.

We're here to be happy.

So we have to at some point decide,

Are we going to continue to fight this change,

Whatever it is?

Maybe right now you're out of work.

Maybe right now you're out of a relationship.

Maybe right now you're living in a small apartment and lost your home.

I mean,

Again,

Fill in the blank.

Whatever it may be,

You can say,

But Dr.

Puff,

It isn't fair.

I don't like this.

This is just wrong.

You can.

And you can stay stuck there for the rest of your life.

I don't mean that meanly.

I mean it's a choice.

Another choice we can all make is say,

Okay,

It's true.

I don't like this.

But I'm going to make this work no matter what.

Because I can make anything work.

Because life is truly an adventure.

It doesn't matter what happens externally.

What matters is how do I handle life.

Because life throws me all kinds of things.

But I'm ready for any of them.

And there's some really good news here.

As we develop this skill of handling things well,

No matter what,

Again,

It's not about what happens.

It's about how do we handle things that happen.

But when we get good at it,

Life truly becomes very free.

Because then when negative things happen,

We just adjust.

There's really nothing life can throw at us anymore.

That can cause us upset.

Because deep down inside,

We now have the ability and the knowledge and the wisdom to know that we can adjust to anything.

And since life is so unpredictable at times,

Then life just becomes an adventure.

Beautiful adventure.

Because no matter what life gives us,

We just adjust.

It doesn't matter anymore.

It's not that we don't set boundaries when we need to,

When someone's being exceptionally harsh or rude to us.

Absolutely.

And we do everything in our power to eliminate these painful events.

But when we have done everything in our power,

And life still says,

This is what you get,

Then we adapt.

And we adapt well.

Because we don't need life to give us anything.

We just flow with life.

We realize if we live in a mansion,

If we live in a small trailer,

If we're by ourselves,

Or if we're surrounded with loved ones,

It just doesn't matter.

Life can be beautiful no matter what.

And there's one last really good lesson that we can learn today about handling things well.

We're not always the best judge of how we're doing.

I mean,

Life can seemingly be going well,

But we're not sure.

We haven't had those tests yet,

Those big tests that come throughout life that really rock our world.

But see,

They really are tests.

Because they're going to tell us how we're really doing at our core.

When we get those tough tests,

Those things that just rock our world,

They're the ones that are going to tell us,

Am I doing well?

Did I adjust?

Or am I not doing well?

And do I need to do perhaps a lot more work to get my heart in the place where I'm not attached anymore,

Where I'm flowing with life,

And finding life to be an adventure,

Not something that I control?

Because what I think a lot of people believe is that they think once you arrive at this happy place that everything's going to go well.

That is absolutely not true.

It isn't that things go well,

We just handle them well.

And it's our ability to handle them that shows that we're actually doing well.

I think it was about three years ago,

I was working on adjusting my life insurance policy,

And I had some blood work done,

And surprisingly they denied me.

I say surprisingly because normally they don't deny me,

And I know I'm extremely healthy,

Eat really well,

Exercise,

I feel great,

So I was just rather surprised by that.

So when they sent me the report and I looked up the number that was off,

I got on the internet and looked at my number and it said,

People with this number are usually going to be dead in three months.

And of course it was rather shocked to me,

But I knew that whatever was supposed to happen was going to happen,

And I knew that I just needed to adjust to it,

So I did.

I said,

Well,

I'm either going to be dead in a very short amount of time or I'm not,

But I felt good,

And I just began doing the steps to find out what was going on.

And of course when I went to the doctors,

They were all upset and thought it was terrible,

And I was calm.

I just trusted that whatever was going to happen,

Including death,

I was okay with that.

So we went through the process,

And believe it or not,

It took about a year to figure out how well I really was.

And in the end,

I determined I was very well,

And whatever these numbers meant,

They weren't something I was going to worry about because my overall health was good.

And I did some tests,

Some really good tests,

Whether I had cancer in my system at all,

And the test came back and said I didn't.

But that took a year for me to find out,

Literally.

I had to wait an entire year to find out that this potential cancer inside of me wasn't there.

That was a long time.

But during that time,

I was truly in a place of peace.

I mean,

I was careful who I shared it with because I didn't share it with many people because I knew people would be very upset.

And I just shared it with people that I knew would support me in the decisions I made.

But I know what was important to me was how I truly was in my heart at a place of peace throughout the entire year.

I mean,

Sometimes I had to wait three months to get some report back,

And that was okay.

I wasn't in any hurry.

I just waited until I got the reports back,

And it took an entire year to find out that I'm fine.

So life sometimes throws us some really big stuff,

Things that we're not ready for,

Perhaps,

But we can be.

Again,

It's never about what life throws us.

It's about how we handle it.

And with the tools we're learning here in the Happiness Podcast,

We can handle anything with grace,

With ease,

With peace.

Because we know that deep down inside,

We don't need life to go any way.

And deeper down inside,

No matter what's happening,

There's truly something always beautiful we can be with.

And we focus on the beauty in life,

If we focus on that life is well,

Then that's what we're going to get.

We will,

Of course,

Do things like work towards goals and keep the things we like in our life as long as we can.

But when life says,

It's time for a change,

Then we just walk through that door and say,

Okay,

What's next?

Again,

Any of us,

Any of us can have beautiful lives.

There are things we need to do,

Which is what this podcast is all about.

But when we apply them,

What can happen is that peace that truly surpasses all understandings can be ours right now,

No matter what.

Thank you for joining me on the Happiness Podcast.

Besides creating this podcast,

There are a variety of other things that I do.

If you'd like to keep abreast of these activities,

And perhaps someday we may be able to meet in person,

Just go to www.

Happinesspodcast.

Org.

That's happinesspodcast.

Org.

You can subscribe to my newsletter.

And if you do,

You'll be emailed a free PDF copy of my meditation book called Reflections on Meditation.

And until next time,

Accept what is,

Love what is.

Reviews

Thank you Dr.!
Your podcasts offer invaluable insights into love, acceptance & personal growth. Thank you so much for all you do & the teachers you share.

loved this 💛🌞💛🌞💛🌞💛🌞

Very uplifting and inspiring! Thank you!🙏

i love it , thank you 😊

This is a most helpful and affirming talk for those times of disruption and fear. Thank you.

Good talk and very relevant for where I am at right now. Thank you, I will listen to again.

Dr.Robert Puff, you’re awesome 👏🏼 namaste

Your attitude is very encouraging and uplifting. Thank you!

Just what I needed to hear. Thank you 🙏

What more goes one need, other than this powerful but straight forward message. Thank you for this!

Whatever is - good motto, thank you

I love your podcasts, I love your voice. Thank you!

I found this so helpful, thank you.

Good common sense anyone can apply to their lives. It's good to reminded. Thank you for your podcasts. 💕😊

You just might save my life. Thank you so much. Glad I found your podcast. 💛💕

Yes yes yes. Now to do it! If only there was an “on switch”....😏. Thanks for reminders. 🙏

Intellectually makes a lot of sense but physically very difficult for the body to not react. A great deal of mindfulness/meditation is needed. Thanks for the path

Very positive and uplifting! Thank you Dr Puff!

Very soothing voice. Very natural flow... doesn’t seem scripted. I’ll be following and listening to more for sure.

Truly enjoy this very much