Bending With The Hurricanes Of Life

Sometime life sends us psychological hurricanes, like death, illness, divorce, or job loss. How do we navigates these storms so that we bend instead of break under their winds? Come and explore beautiful ways to survive these hurricanes of life.

Please note, this is a talk, not a guided meditation.

Transcript

Welcome to the happiness podcast.

I'm Dr.

Robert Puff.

Hurricanes.

I don't know if you've ever been in one,

But they are one powerful force of nature.

I've never been in one myself,

But I've seen things like them.

I was once on vacation in Goa,

India during the monsoon season.

And I was staying near the beach.

Well,

The monsoon season is where India gets very heavy rains during the summer.

Well,

While I was there,

The force of the wind and the rain were so strong that the tops of the palm trees were bent and actually touching the ground.

I wasn't sure if I was going to get blown away.

And I'm a pretty big guy.

Goa is on the Indian ocean and the waves coming in from the ocean were just gigantic.

And hurricanes are much stronger than what I saw.

And what I saw was very powerful.

Well,

I believe hurricanes really have a lesson for all of us in regards to our lives.

Sometimes it can feel like we're in a hurricane,

An emotional hurricane where everything is blowing around us and we feel like we're going to be toppled over and destroyed.

The force of nature can be so strong at times,

Just like our lives where we feel like we're in a hurricane or a tornado and life is just blowing us all over the place.

It can truly be horrific.

Maybe right now,

As we're listening to this podcast,

We're going through a divorce or we've lost our job with no prospects of a new one or we're facing an incredible health crisis,

Which we may not possibly even recover from or perhaps more like a hurricane.

Not only us,

But many people around us are stuck in this very strong wind of emotion and it's overwhelming.

So many of us,

We know times like this have happened throughout history,

War,

Famine,

Pestilence,

Pandemics,

Things happen that can really be frightening and overwhelming.

So whether it's on a personal level or on a global level,

When our world that we live in seems overwhelming,

Like we're in a hurricane,

What can we do?

Are we going to just get destroyed by the winds or is there a way to survive the hurricane and come out strong and healthy?

Well,

If you've ever been in a severe storm,

You'll know something that happens.

The trees that are very strong and powerful get broken.

The plants that are upright and stiff get torn down.

The things that really fight the wind.

If the wind gets strong enough,

They break.

But then there were those palm trees I saw in Goa where they actually bent with the wind.

They bent so much,

I thought they toppled over,

But they didn't.

The next day when the winds were calm,

They were standing upright again.

They were flexible.

They were able to bend with the wind and bounce back the next day.

I think of a lawn with grasses that have grown.

They too bend with the wind.

And when it's over,

The next day they're standing upright,

Taking in the rays of the sun.

And I think this metaphor of bending with the strong winds instead of fighting them is a beautiful way that we too can live our lives when we face the strong winds of a hurricane.

So what would this look like?

How do we navigate our lives when the hurricanes come?

Because sometimes they come and their winds can be so strong.

Well,

I want to talk about two parts that really help us understand how to bend with the hurricanes of life.

Well,

Part one is to bend when the strong winds come.

And bending means mentally flowing with what's happening,

Not fighting it.

When we stand up straight,

We're fighting it.

When we bend,

We're not fighting it.

We still may not like the strong winds,

But we're saying,

Oh,

This is a very strong wind.

How do I bend with this instead of fight this?

So let me use a few examples to help illustrate this.

Let's say we worked very hard at a company and put in our time and really feel like we've been a good employee.

And then for whatever reason,

We lose our job.

Now,

I know it may not be right.

That's like the hurricane coming.

And it may not seem fair.

That's like the strong winds coming,

But we have lost our job.

And someone who's a stick would stand up and say,

This isn't right.

This isn't fair.

And though we may need some time to say things like that,

The more important things we need to focus on is,

Okay,

I'm bent over now.

Okay.

What do I do with that?

How do I adjust to this change that I didn't see coming?

Because life is incredibly unpredictable at times.

And if we fight the winds of life too hard,

Sometimes we break.

We all know people like this.

They worked very hard at a company.

They put in their time and for whatever reason they lost that company.

They lost that job.

And for the rest of their lives,

They've been broken.

They perhaps turned to alcohol.

They perhaps just gave up.

They perhaps became very severely depressed and really never came out of it.

They broke.

Others we know have lost their job and they found something else to do.

It may have taken them some time,

But they really said,

Okay,

Now I don't have this job.

What can I do instead?

And that's where they're flowing or bending with the wind.

Another example,

Let's say we met the love of our life.

We get married.

We buy a house.

We have children and everything seems to be going along so beautifully,

Just like we dreamed.

And perhaps they ask us for a divorce or perhaps our partner dies and we have to start all over again.

We can be like the stick and be miserable.

We know people like that.

Lots of people that get angry,

That stay depressed,

That never get over it.

And really for the rest of their lives are very bitter about what happened to them.

And we know others who have transformed their lives,

Who grow and change and meet new people and perhaps fall in love again.

We have a choice.

We can bend or we can break.

It is a choice.

We can't stop the winds.

The hurricanes come sometimes.

So many things in life are out of our control.

But if we want to be like the grasses,

We have to decide what are we in control over?

When the strong winds come,

We can flow with those winds.

And when we're over,

We'll bounce back.

If we're like a stick,

If we're like a tree,

When those strong winds come,

We're going to break and our lives metaphorically may be over.

So we have to decide two things.

One,

When the strong wind comes,

Are we going to fight it?

Are we going to scream at it and say,

This isn't fair?

Or are we going to flow with it and bend?

And then part two,

When the winds are over,

We stand up straight again and enjoy the beautiful sunshine all around us.

But I actually want to encourage us to go one step further in life.

When the hurricanes come,

Instead of seeing it as something bad or something we just have to lay down until it's over and then stand upright again,

Can we actually see that us laying down could be enjoyable too?

It's just part of life.

Sometimes we stand up straight.

Sometimes we lean way over like that palm tree and the top of our palms touch the ground.

And that can be fun too.

It's a little scary,

But it can be fun too.

And I think we know that we're doing well when we're going through a hurricane and we have a smile on our heart.

Then we know,

Okay,

Now I'm doing well.

I know this is a challenging thing to do,

But it's possible.

Every hurricane that life has ever given me in life,

And there's been quite a few,

I've always been able to turn it one into something beautiful.

But even at the time,

Turning into something quite good,

There's just always something beautiful to be with if we don't lose hope.

And if we ask certain questions,

Someone's like,

Okay,

This winds are really strong right now.

How do I turn this into something beautiful?

Or,

Wow,

I did not see that one coming.

What can I do to make this work for me and perhaps even make my life better?

Let's say for example,

We lost our job with not a lot of prospects,

Perhaps for a new one.

And I know we can all think of examples of people that just get really depressed,

They get angry,

They get upset,

They begin to lose things,

Their lives look different.

And yet I've met others.

I have,

And you have too,

That said,

Huh,

I didn't see that coming,

But I'm going to do this.

I'm going to perhaps take six months off and travel.

I'm going to go and learn a new skill,

Something that I've wanted to do forever,

That I'll enjoy more,

Because there's parts of my job I didn't like.

I'm going to spend some time with my kids and visit my family and really do things that I just haven't been able to do.

So there's always choices.

I know we can be miserable.

I know that lots of people choose that,

But there are people that no matter what gets thrown at them,

That turn it into something beautiful.

And that's the choice.

We can't stop the hurricanes from coming.

They come.

But what we can do is bend.

And even the bending find joy.

And when it's over,

We just bounce back to who we are.

And the less we hang on to,

The less we say life has to be a certain way,

The more easy it is to bend.

When we're stiff like a stick,

Then we're saying,

This isn't right.

This isn't the way it's supposed to go.

I'm going to fight this.

And then we break.

We all know stories of people that break when the winds come.

They get sick and they get severely depressed.

They lose their job and their lives are over.

They get a divorce and they're in misery land for the rest of their lives.

There are lots of people like this,

But we're listening to this podcast because we want a different life.

And there are people that bend when the hurricanes come and then bounce back.

We can be these people,

But we really have to make that our focus.

We have to think of the hurricane as something we just flow with.

And when it's over,

We're going to bounce back.

And the bending and the bouncing back come from flexibility.

Grasses don't need to look a certain way.

They just flow with life.

A tree has a very specific look to it.

It can bend a little bit in a breeze,

But when a strong wind comes,

It's going to break.

So for more like the grasses saying life,

I'm not sure what you're going to give me,

But I'm going to make that work.

That's the focus.

The focus is I'm going to make this work no matter what.

Not that life's supposed to be this way or that way.

Who knows what life's going to give us.

Sometimes we go through really hard times.

Sometimes everyone around us is going through a really hard time,

Like during a pandemic.

But we do not have to join in the hurricane and be destroyed.

We can be like the grasses or like the palm tree and bend and then bounce back.

We can.

It is a choice and we have to make a choice about it.

There's no way we can stop a hurricane.

It has the force of many nuclear bombs,

But what we can do is saying,

Okay,

This is a very strong time I'm going through.

So I am going to flow with this.

Not only am I going to bounce back,

Even with these strong winds going,

I'm going to do beautiful things in my life.

I often use the example.

If we're in the hospital room and we're laying there very sick,

We can have the window open and hear the birds sing.

We can have friends visit and really enjoy their visiting.

We can enjoy the flowers that people bring us.

There's just always,

Always something beautiful to be with,

But that's what we have to look for.

And when there's hurricanes,

We really need to be vigilant about this and saying,

I'm going to give a hundred percent of my attention to being well and flowing right now and looking for the beauty,

Even in these strong winds.

I know we don't have to,

And then we'll suffer,

But if we choose and really want to have a beautiful life and find happiness and peace,

No matter what,

Then we have to decide that even when the hurricanes come,

We're going to bend.

We're even going to enjoy the bending.

And when it's over,

We're going to bounce back looking beautiful,

Feeling good and saying life is good.

This is a choice.

This is a very active choice that we have to make.

If we go with the flow,

Meaning we follow the crowds,

We may suffer greatly.

But if we say,

No,

I'm going to flow with life,

Not with the crowds,

And I'm going to bend and I'm going to bounce back.

And even in my bending,

I'm going to enjoy these winds and saying,

There's always beauty,

Even during the hurricane.

We can have beautiful lives,

But when the hurricanes come,

It takes a lot of work.

So what can help us is believing that there's always hope,

Believing that we can always find something beautiful to be with and then working every day,

Sometimes one breath at a time to be with that beauty.

May we all,

When the hurricanes come,

Bend like the grasses.

Thank you for joining me on the happiness podcast.

Until next time,

Accept what is,

Love what is.

Reviews

Great!

I loved this by the way ...
I think this is one of the best kind of storytelling type teachings that you've done. I thought it was amazing I enjoyed it I'm gonna bookmark it and probably listened to it in the next week I've got so many things going on in my life that pretty much everything you said I felt like it was written for me :) thank you so much and God-bless you Doctor Puff!💜

Wow, so helpful for me at this moment in time. Bend, bend, bend.

I can't thank you enough. I really needed to hear this and be reminded that I can be flexible and build myself up again.

Much thanks for this talk as much needed. I am in a psychological hurricane right now and you gave me hope to rethink and bend instead breaking and losing hope. 🙏 sending much love your way 💕