Tune into your body on a physical level.
Notice your breath.
Notice any energy or sensations in your body.
And notice what's happening in your mind as well.
And set your intention that you'll focus inwardly for the next little while.
We're going to do an inquiry.
So let go of any unrelated thoughts.
And we also let go of that trying to figure it out.
We're going to be working with the mind and with thoughts.
And stay very connected in your body and in the sensation and feelings in your body.
Let's start by bringing to mind something that was traumatic for us when we were children.
It could be something to do with being harmed or abused.
It could be an incident that happened at school.
It could be just feeling very isolated and alone.
That's also experienced as a survival level threat to a child.
Bring to mind something that has some resonance for you.
Not necessarily a 10 out of 10.
Just something that you can look at,
You can bring to mind.
You can notice what age you were.
You might have a visual of yourself at that age and in that circumstance.
And you know what it felt like.
Even just remembering it can feel quite strong at times.
And then for the inquiry,
We're going to look at what if that had happened to someone you love?
What if you had a daughter at that age or a son?
What if it was a close friend who came to you and said,
This is what's happened.
This is what it was like for me when I was five.
Maybe it was one big thing that happened.
Maybe it was a feeling that just seemed to be there every day,
A feeling of disconnection or something.
Imagine that they're in a very similar circumstance.
That was their situation too.
And then imagine them at that age.
Bring it to life in your mind.
Look at the visual.
Maybe look at the face,
Body language.
Are they in the kitchen at suppertime?
Just bring to mind whatever your situation was.
Notice though someone that you love,
A family,
Friend,
Is in that situation and has told you about it.
You're really able to bring that to mind quite vividly because you've had that experience too.
And notice what you feel as you're looking at them.
Where does that connect for you in your own body?
Stay present with your breath and stay grounded in your body.
And then let's start by looking at these pictures,
These images.
If you don't have a daughter who's in that situation,
It might not be fully formed in terms of a face,
But look at a child at that age.
Now as adults,
We can look back and have a different appreciation of what it's like to be five or nine or 13 and really bring it to mind.
What does it look like?
What are the words?
What is she hearing?
What is that situation for him?
And then look to see kind of from a more complex level,
What are the ways that he or she is trying to work with that,
Trying to mitigate the damage?
Some children just kind of disappear out of the home.
They're always over at a friend's house or they get really busy in school,
So they're really not around that much.
Some people fight back.
Some people numb out.
Some people try to get really well behaved.
They might be sitting there quite tight,
Almost not even daring to breathe because they don't want to be noticed.
So just have a look at the strategies that this child is using to try and help,
To try and avoid being hurt.
And keep this awareness that we're looking at this.
We're witnessing or observing the images,
The words that come up in our mind as we're looking at this.
And notice if you feel like that this child is doing something wrong,
That if this child had just done this or that,
That they could have saved themselves,
That they wouldn't be in this situation.
Just remembering the age of the person,
The strategies that they're trying.
If you feel like it's their fault in any way,
Their fault that it's happening or their fault that they're not able to make it stop.
Stay connected with your energy in your body.
Notice if there's a particular place in your body.
Do you have an energy in your heart center or your stomach or the back of your neck or something?
And if that's the case,
Then really put your attention right there.
And notice do you feel compassion for this person,
This child who's trying very hard to stay connected with their parent or to protect themselves or their siblings perhaps?
What is your feeling towards that child?
Do you feel kindness?
Do you feel compassion?
You might have some shaming words come up like,
What's the matter with you that you didn't know to do this or that or that you shouldn't have done that?
Notice if that's there.
You could look at those words and pictures,
Feel that energy in your body.
And notice if it's not there.
This is a child of whatever age it is.
Connect with your breath.
Let yourself have a couple of long,
Slow exhales and inhales.
And as you're looking at this person that you care about in this situation,
What would you like them to know?
What would you like to say to them?
What support would you like to have for them?
What is your sense of what would really help?
And tell them that.
Let them know.
And bring in yourself at that age.
There might be a sense of that internally or you might have an image of yourself.
What would you like yourself to know at that age in that situation?
What would be helpful for them to know?
Stay with your breath and with your body.
If there's a visual there,
That's fine.
If there's not,
That's fine.
Take this moment to be with yourself,
Perhaps remembering yourself at that age,
The situation that you were in.
See if you could extend some compassion to yourself for everything that you did to try to make it better,
Even if it wasn't very successful.
Children actually don't have the power to change a lot of what happens to them.
And can you be kind with yourself?
And this is something that we could return to again and again,
Especially if we find ourselves shaming ourselves or blaming ourselves.
Well,
If I just hadn't done that or if I'd done this instead,
We don't actually know what the result of that would have been if we'd done something different.
We know that the result of what did happen was painful.
And looking back sometimes now as adults,
We can see that in fact in our childhood mind at that level of development,
What we understood and didn't understand about how things worked and how important it is,
It's a survival level imperative to maintain connection with your caregivers,
With your parents.
And we'll do anything to maintain that connection because we need it to survive.
And sometimes that often that involves turning against ourselves,
Feeling like we were the ones to blame if we had done this instead,
Then this wouldn't have happened.
So it's really good to look at that as though it's happening to someone else because we get a different perspective on it at times when we do that.
When you're ready,
Open your eyes.
